₦airaland Forum

Dafresh:
▢ Which wisdom again, you type believe in making himself happy your type can bleep another man's wife and say nothing will happen (no vex oh) but that's my projection on you tradition is very very important

luminouz:
Mark my words, nigga!!!

You will soon contact me!!! I can't wait for that time to come to pass.

Micheal56:
Please get this clear
Your father is the one that take care of u not the one who gave birth to you

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

MetaBroadband:
I appreciate all you comments so far, but I see many of you ignoring traditions and the points I raised because of emotions.

Have you not seen where person was mandated to pay bride price twice either because of one or two mistakes?

That's the girl's story, what if they all lied to her and she grew up with it? What happens if the tradition doesn't permit another man to collect bride price of a girl whose father is still alive?

Please drop emotions and be more critical in this matter I beg you guys. I've heard of a scenerio where they have to change the venue of a traditional marriage simple because it wasn't supposed to be held at the place it was holding then.

Are we simply trashing the traditions when indeed the bride price follows the tradition?

Oga dem don advice you. You clearly wanted someone to support your idea but majority have adviced otherwise. my question to you, do you want a peaceful home? If your answer is yes, please my brother kindly carry on with the wedding plans. But if you choose to dive into the ocean searching for egoistic quest to ''follow tradition'' , my bro, you no go fit fight this battle finish.

Abeg make we think or ask person wey dey advance for his own opinion before we comment.

What if tomorrow now, they said because of A wasn't supposed to be A, I have to come and pay goat and Elon musk before this and that?

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

Kobojunkie:
LOL... wait till dem come back at you with "customs and traditions stipulates it has be done traditionally .... " schpeel.

If you ask me, I think the end of all this needs to start with women saying no more to the bride-pride tradition altogether. The female will continue to remain a bought item to the bulk of these until then.

armyofone:
■ Bride price - about time it is eradicated. Whoever I'm marrying and I will plan the wedding A-Z. Everyone who can attend, come eat, dance and be merry. Bride price - just some food stuff, materials and money in pocket of.... then the struggles continue. It is very povertizised idea.
Bride price - benefits nobody.

GboyegaD:
Keep living in your delusion. Those I pity are those who choose to join in your misery thinking they are wise.

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

Creamypie:
Oga, try locate him, u weren't there when their fight started, don't be caught in d middle, no matter their explanation. Irrespective of his short comings. Tell them your family must acknowledge him. You will understand later. You have to hear from both sides. Your family have full right to meet him and his people. u may be surprised that she deliberately kept her father away from their lives after she met her husband, and use am to pepper the man when shes grown up. na so one wedding we attended in ogwashi uku, delta state, the girl mama no want us to meet her dad people ( dad is dead from stroke, cos of her mum wahala) even the man people were scared when we eventually went to meet them. Her mum made sure she isolated and separated her late husband from his family, after which she frustrated him to b.p, stroke and eventual death. women. Them go still carry grudges face you and sandwich u as a married man, isolating you from ur family, using psychology to win u over, after seeing there is no other place for u to run to then, frustrating u till u go get b.p, stroke and death, or liver cirrhosis cos of drink go end u lass lass.

MetaBroadband:
Thank you all for your excellent contributions. Please note the following:

1. They said the man abandoned them, but what if it's not actually what happened, so let's not be emotional.

2. I'm not paying the bride price to the biological father, but there should be an understanding between both fathers at this point. because if the child was taken away from the man or if he had acted as a child then, both parents can come to an understanding so that my wife won't hurt any part of the tradition in the course of our marriage.

3. I know that my mother inlaw would be angry, but I still feel it's my right to know. What if something bad happens to my wife because she married in a way that violates her tradition (give Caeser things to Caesar)

4. I'm doing this for my fiancee not me, because as far as I've paid my bride price nothing can come to me, but if anything comes to my wife, it automatically affects me. So it's not just her and her mum's business.

Thank you as you put this thoughts into consideration as well.

Please excuse typos

Foodqueen:
Make sure you see her dad.

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

satelliteDISH:
This is a very tough one.
The girls mother is very bitter. She has been nursing that bitterness all her life since she got pregnant. She doesn't want the man that got her pregnant and abandoned her to reap from the gains that come through the girl.
That is her revenge. To her, that is justice served.

To go see the biological father might not go down well with your mother in law and she will hate you for this.
Since your fiancee and her mother have disowned the man. They have acknowledged the step father as their father and husband, go and honour the step father with the necessary traditional items.

The biological father cannot come out of the blues and reap from where he didn't invest for over 20+ years of the girls life. It is an unfair trade.

Kobojunkie:
And he will not inform us of his own faults in all of it when he comes back to whine about how his wife is to blame for all the problems in the marriage at that point in time.

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

hardasan:
Nonsense, so adopted children don't get married traditionally?
What about sperm donor babies? They'll look for the sperm donor?

Stupid nonsense tradition meant to hold women bound

satelliteDISH:
This is a very tough one.
The girls mother is very bitter. She has been nursing that bitterness all her life since she got pregnant. She doesn't want the man that got her pregnant and abandoned her to reap from the gains that come through the girl.
That is her revenge. To her, that is justice served.

To go see the biological father might not go down well with your mother in law and she will hate you for this.
Since your fiancee and her mother have disowned the man. They have acknowledged the step father as their father and husband, go and honour the step father with the necessary traditional items.

The biological father cannot come out of the blues and reap from where he didn't invest for over 20+ years of the girls life. It is an unfair trade.

mastermaestro:
All this you spewed here is indulging dereliction of fatherly responsibility. Your culture is a very faulty one created by a set of chauvinistic men who believed that men can do no wrong no matter the magnitude of wrongs they are caught in.

A father is not a sperm donor. Otherwise, this sets societies back. Somebody makes a mess and yet receives an honour medal because culture dictates so. Get over this rubbish culture now!

An irresponsible man must not be handed the honour badge of fatherhood. Fatherhood without responsibility is criminality. You have a criminal culture I must say.

PrimadonnaO:
What's your cultural extraction?