My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Give him space & time also be a dutiful wifey for he will come around, am sure from d explanation this happened in d south, due to economic situations parents should be a bit lenient for our children happiness shouldn't be traded for who's daughter's wedding Is d biggest, in d north even a bucket of akara is enough for a wedding ceremony.

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Stop stressing yourself he is thinking about how to offset the loan .. the best you can do is to find an extra means of income to support him ... As for the word extortion, well it's the way he felt, because he has been ask to extract water from stone and you didn't ask him how he did it initially ... don't blame him ..just calm down

Childish behavior. Malice and sulking

He don collect loan for ur matter.

A foolish man takes out loan to do wedding
A smart man takes out loan to do business

Knowing the financial strength of your husband, you could have mediated to get the burden on him reduced. He expected that but to his disappointment he didn't get it from you.

You & your family should have remembered that there is life after the marriage ceremony. However, I will suggest you try to appeal to him.and see how you can join hands in offsetting the loans incurred.

A supportive wife is always the delight of every man

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Your Husband is right. Na wisdom dem take dey marry. The Bible even says a wise woman builds her home. If he complained, he knows his financial strength and you check am now,after wedding na marriage na garri una go drink? Or you want am to begin pay igbese? Your role then should have been to mediate between your Father and Your Husband. Las las your pops go want make you go your husband house and make im fit take care of you instead of ostentatious spending for some people wey no go give crap about una if una broke. Kneel down apologise give am well well. He is your husband you should know what to do to get him come around and one more thing it is you and him always. Even if you no understand or you oppose, trust his leadership except when you see say wetin him dey do no make sense. May GOD help us all with wisdom.
@Negroid001 your attention is needed hia ooh. Coman give your 2cents from a man's perspective.

Imagine giving me list because i want to marry a non virgin' likely olosho''
And to u reading this post' if you like go and take loan to pay any dowry'' last last na depression go kill you '' that blind u have been blinded by love or pussy when u enter inside marriage u eye go open.
* Till today i never still know what will make me to go and take loan to start any marriage'' i can't even reason it.

Ehinjuola:
My name is Dimeji (not real name tho), I'm in my final lap in one of the prestigious uni in Nigeria.

It happens my fiancee and I have been dating for long now, recently she discovered that she missed her period (though I'm not happy with it and at the same time I don't want ab*rtion) and couple the fact that I really love this lady and I want future with her.

I want to quickly do her introduction before the bump is visible n I have taken a bold step by taken my parents to hers for unofficial intro before the real intro which has been set for next two months.

But recently I do observe that she do post on her status about praying not to choose wrongly in term of relationship, (she has once asked me whether I don't feel we are rushing things in one of our conversation one time like that) plus the fact that whenever I called her recently the vibe is not there any longer, this is the person we are both serious with the relationship oo Infact she's the one that's pushing thing initially.

My question now is that, Is it anxiousness or marriage phobia or early pregnancy symptoms or she's just confuse or the feeling of not been ready that's worrying her? (She will be 26 next month)

Nairaland, the home of mad people 🙄

Madam,,you asked him to pay the bills your father gave him if he really loved you and he did that by taking up loans….allow the man have peace na…he is thinking of how to pay back the loans he took just to prove his love for you.

You and your family wicked sha and your husband has a lot of guts for taking up loans just to wed you….Odiegwu.
He for leave you for your father make he marry you na.

Anytime husband side with his own family he is always mamas boy or some immature guy to the society but we all know what you girls are when it is time to take side

Women won’t entertain their spouses family in their matrimonial home but their own fam can live with them

You and your family successfully manipulated the poor guy to marry you at all cost even though you all knew how difficult it was for him and now you come here to lament

Honestly nah the guy I blame cos nobody I repeat nobody or any societal pressure will make me do anything above my budget

Now the guy eye don clear say you no even be V and it’s not really worth all the sacrifice he made, so what’s the essence ? Shior

You should have talked with your people to reduce the expenses, there is life after the party. The solution now is to sit your hubby down, apologize and ask him the amount of loan that was collected. You both can work together to pay off the loan

It’s too early to start your marriage with this type of atmosphere. The man might be passing through a lot financially. To be honest 150k in this economy is not really a big amount of money.

If buying a cow and renting a hall for show off is a good thing....tell your parents to mark their own marriage anniversary and do same.

Jazmine10:
Your Husband is right. Na wisdom dem take dey marry. The Bible even says a wise woman builds her home. If he complained, he knows his financial strength and you check am now,after wedding na marriage na garri una go drink? Or you want am to begin pay igbese? Your role then should have been to mediate between your Father and Your Husband. Las las your pops go want make you go your husband house and make im fit take care of you instead of ostentatious spending for some people wey no go give crap about una if una broke. Kneel down apologise give am well well. He is your husband you should know what to do to get him come around and one more thing it is you and him always. Even if you no understand or you oppose, trust his leadership except when you see say wetin him dey do no make sense. May GOD help us all with wisdom.
@Negroid001 your attention is needed hia ooh. Coman give your 2cents from a man's perspective.

Marriage is not by force. The man has exhausted all his resources in the name of marriage. Wedding is one thing, Marriage is another. They've mixed it up. After all the spending, who cares? People don come flex for the wedding. Who cares? Now the've left the poor couple alone after almost wrecking them with unecessary elaborate wedding party.

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

allow the young man be..

Do u know how much a cow and hall cost?? Apart from other bigbig tins that u could not mention all for someone earning a paltry 150k. And u. All u could add is 50k...just 50k that can not be enough to book two hookup girls

Now his debt is running into millions all because of wedding. We'll, he's the mumu here, if na me I won't even stress myself, it's either I leave u and look forward or worst I impregnate you.
But rhe guy mumu, he wan do show-off as commanded by the bride's father
Now he's feeling overwhelmed by the pressure of the loans collected

Make una settle una matter. I bliv ur man has realised his mistake and he's silently wishes he thought twice, now u re not alluring to him again as u used to be.kpele

He's an intelligent man, he knew there's more to life tha a wedding

But he truly loves you so he had to get gimself in a shithole, now he's trying to get out but he thinks you dont get it

Probably why he doesn't converse with you

Brandiebird:


Nairaland, the home of mad people 🙄

Fxxk,
Another clout chaser

Gr8mind07:
Knowing the financial strength of your husband, you could have mediated to get the burden on him reduced. He expected that but to his disappointment he didn't get it from you.

You & your family should have remembered that there is life after the marriage ceremony. However, I will suggest you try to appeal to him.and see how you can join hands in offsetting the loans incurred.

A supportive wife is always the delight of every man

Exactly. She needs to learn to stand up to her father, not necessarily disrespect him. But he needed to know that their is life after wedding. Now na you dey collect. Sometimes our parents just want to massage their egos with all this wedding wahala. If you check am, during their time dem fit no stress them, Abbbiii na belle then use join them self. They will now want to kee somebody child. The husband is yours now it's left for you to fix the damage your folks may have caused. He will come around. He can't stay mad forever but he and your folks may not see eye to eye. Forget going to visit for Christmas and festivities. Him Don buy her.

Your family is inconsiderate just like you, now the man is wallowing is debt

That you have not seen where you went wrong is a problem in itself.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

"AND YOU ARE", please remind me.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.


I blame the man for not standing his ground but I understand his situation but as for you;
I HOPE HE SHOWS YOU PEPPER 😡

He is most likely in debt. And if it's true, just pray he doesn't see you as the reason he is in debt, if not. Men can be like a brick when they are faced with unnecessary debt. If u have money, like 500k. Give him to pay his debt.

You are not the price alone, he's also the price. You should have fought for him the way he fought for you.

Why won't he start acting cold when your family wan use bills finish am can't your family Consider the current economic situation and keep things simple

It is obvious that the debt he went into to sponsor your wedding is taking a toll on his mental health.
It would have been helpful if your response was supportive when he complained that he had to take loans for th wedding. Rather than since he was the one who wanted your hand in marriage, he was supposed to fulfill all obligations, you would have said you understand the challenge both of you are facing with the debt on you both, and you're prepared to find a solution together.

You'd agree that the problem is not only for him, it's for both of you. So the solution must come from you both.

My advice is you approach him and whether he listens directly or not, tell him you want to be involved in solving this challenge.

Find out how much he borrowed. How much he's paying per month. Let him know how much you will contribute.

Face this challenge together and you will win. Do not abandon him as if it doesn't concern you.

I don’t normally comment on post like this but this one I will surely do .


My dear newly wedded woman you are truly and evil person and inconsiderate I’m sure you don’t even love your husband all you wanted was just to get married and answer married woman I blame your husband for not backing out when he could . He is in for a long ride .

Cock and bull stories.

Go an apologize...
Say sorry...
Help him offset D loan...
Simple!

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Yes, your family extorted him.

Leave him alone and perform your duties or better still apologize on behalf of your parents.
If you can squeeze yourself, give him 50k or 100k while presenting your apology. He may or may not collect the money but he will know that you care about him and he'll become favourable towards you. If after you've done this and he doesn't improve, then you've married a demon and you should focus on yourself.

END...

Omihanifa:
Why won't he start acting cold when your family wan use bills finish am can't your family Consider the current economic situation and keep things simple

Any family wey wan extort me or bill me. I go just distance myself away from their daughter. I'll not put myself in debt or pressure because of someone's daughter.

Ehinjuola:

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
o.

Your husband is dating an emotionally stunted imbeciIe. Even though I’ve never met any of you before, immediately I read the bolded, I knew he’s in debt even before you said it.

How can you not know? You do not care about that man at all and he saw it clearly. Whether you see that cheerful side of him again or not is up to you and you alone.

If your solution to all his sacrifice is to run like the coward you are, then go ahead. You’re an ungrateful loser.

Negroid001:


Marriage is not by force. The man has exhausted all his resources in the name of marriage. Wedding is one thing, Marriage is another. They've mixed it up. After all the spending, who cares? People don come flex for the wedding. Who cares? Now the've left the poor couple alone after almost wrecking them with unecessary elaborate wedding party.

It's apparent the man is resentful. She has to win him over oh. If she come add bad character join oti pari. Marriage is for mature folks really. Some people focus on wedding trying to impress some folks wey go even tie broomstick inside gift pack for dem com dey disturb pastor upandan rather than focus on the marriage and building a home.

dontrulee:


Yes, your family extorted him.

Leave him alone and perform your duties or better still apologize on behalf of your parents.
If you can squeeze yourself, give him 50k or 100k while presenting your apology. He may or may not collect the money but he will know that you care about him and he'll become favourable towards you. If after you've done this and he doesn't improve, then you've married a demon and you should focus on yourself.

END...

Wahaluur...Bros, marriage na long journey you never graduate from except she wants to be divorced. No such thing as focus on herself here, she's got to nip it in the bud. She don marry she don marry be that. Key is she's gotta admit her wrong and take responsibility rather than focus on what her husband said about her birth parents or not as focusing on that sef might aggravate the situation.