Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

That your husband must be a simp!. I would have aborted the mission of marrying you if I were him. I am 100% sure you contribute nothing to running the home.

If I were him now, I will not call your father and your mother will not come omugwo in my house. Your family exploited and maligned him, to say the least. Tueh!!!

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

You are still your parents daughter in your head not his wife and he senses that .

Secondly you blackmailed him into doing that wedding. How? Each time he stops and questions the demand of your father you are like... if you love me you'll do it

You were this way even when you knew he couldn't afford it

He finally did the impossible and you didn't bother asking how.

You sure you are his wife?

Go get a job and channel your salary straight to him. Don't touch even 1 kobo of it

dotun4luv:
Lol... I'd have to be sincere with you darling woman, your parents didn't take responsibilities.

Your parents were they one to sponsored your wedding and not the groom. You said you supported him with 50k in an expenses running to millions.

That's ridiculous and bad. We got caught in love story, wedding expenses aren't supposed to be on the groom, it's the right of the brides parents to sponsored there daughters wedding as their last right on her. But, reverse is that.

And here is quota to get your man back...

Don't just talk to him or react to his actions, rather, put his mind at rest telling him you guys can do it together. He got loans cos he loved you and now you are in marriage, the burden is now a family burden and it should be sorted out accordingly. This will make him believe he made the right choice and married a woman of wisdom. But trying to proof a point that it's his right to fulfill all the obligations instigated by your parents will make things even worse.

He's a man. Blood runs through his vein.

The girl is just dumb and annoying, imagine the way she's sounding.

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

I am sure you knew his financial strength and yet you couldn't intervene.




My younger sister really tried for her fiance (now husband).




Though my father is a simple man, I have some really extortionate uncles who always want to milk potential husbands.




My sister fought hard to reduce the list. For example, some uncles wanted a fat cow. In the end, the family settled for a small ram.




And even the final list, my sister still contributed financially to help her fiance gather everything.




It is a foolish thing to push a man to borrow money for wedding. Now, he would be using the early days of marriage to worry about the loans.




Never let anyone extort your husband. Work based on his and your own budget. Because at the end of the day, it is the two of you that will suffer it.




Now, you are already suffering it. Your husband is suffering sleepless nights and lack of peace. Those who pushed you people are probably living off the "loot" with no care in the world.

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Your greedy family has milk the young man dry as if he married a virgin and you're sounding as if you don't know what the problem is, please shift.

YES YOU DID ALOT
HE DIDN'T CALL OFF THE WEDDING DUE TO THE LOVE HE HAS FOR YOU.
YOUR DAD DID WRONG BECAUSE OF HIS SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT HE MADE HIM GO THROUGH UNNECESSARY EMOTIONAL AND FINANCIAL STRESS, 150K IS NOTHING MADAM AS A SINGLE MAN NOT TO TALK OF BEEN MARRIED.
YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOUR DAD TO REVIEW THE LIST AND SUPPORT YOUR MAN.
COW IS 200K,HALL IS 200K LEAST DECORATION IS OVER 100K.
HOW MANY MONTH WILL HE USE TO SAVE THAT ALONE ?
YOU SUPPORTED WITH 50K ONLY AHHHHH
YOU ARE WICKED OOOOOO

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Despite the fact you know you're not a virgin, you still allowed your parents to trade you and extort that young man.

Madam, you and your parents sucked and extorted that young man till he went and borrowed just to satisfied you and your parents fatansies. (He is a foolish man for even borrowing). A real man will dump you the moment he is given an outrageous bills. Love my foot! Something Must be wrong with you. Madam are you a vírgin to start with?

Sooner or later he'll dump and throw you out and then request back for those money he wasted

Well said. It was my wife that prevailed on her family when it seemed it was unbecoming during my marriage. And I was glad she did because that could cause the in-laws to loose respect after they have overtaxed the groom

Gr8mind07:
Knowing the financial strength of your husband, you could have mediated to get the burden on him reduced. He expected that but to his disappointment he didn't get it from you.

You & your family should have remembered that there is life after the marriage ceremony. However, I will suggest you try to appeal to him.and see how you can join hands in offsetting the loans incurred.

A supportive wife is always the delight of every man

calabardick:


Your greedy family has milk the young man dry as if he married a virgin and you're sounding as if you don't know what the problem is, please shift.

U dey mind the e-diot runz girl with her poverty stricken family? It's not as if she's a virgin to start with. I pity the young man for going into debts just to please a parasite who has been eaten by guys before

Gr8mind07:
Knowing the financial strength of your husband, you could have mediated to get the burden on him reduced. He expected that but to his disappointment he didn't get it from you.

You & your family should have remembered that there is life after the marriage ceremony. However, I will suggest you try to appeal to him.and see how you can join hands in offsetting the loans incurred.

A supportive wife is always the delight of every man

Knowing his own financial strength, he could have cut his cost according to his cloth. He overdid himself and now na yakata e fall.

On the father’s side, na greed worry the man. He got the young man to rent the hall, decorate it and provide one cow. That’s the mark of a greedy father in-law. The rest is the reaction that we hear.

As for the titling man, he must cool down and move on. Very soon na him go complain say wife dey fail in the other room.

Find out if your husband borrowed money for some of those things he did. That might be the reason for his change in attitude.

henrimoto:
The Op be like person way get High Pride and Bad Entitlement Mentality.

"If you love me, you would provide all of the things" - imagine such words! The OP had really demoralized her husband's mind during that marriage rites period.

... Even in the Op's write up, no sense of remorse over her past altitude during the marriage rites preparation.

Let me tell you what your husband will do next, I doubt he would allow any of your parents to come visiting.

May not be pride, just some little girl's games... saying "if you love me you'll do this, yen yen yen". She apparently lack maturity and emotional intelligence. She needs to calm down pacify her husband asap oh, if not she's about to tear down her day old marriage by herself. May GOD help her concerning her husbands decisions on her parents.

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

even me sef I go vex. Which rubbish talk is “if he loves me he should pay all they ask” . You don use this sentence more than once. Don’t you know the financial capacity of the person you want to marry? Can’t you mitigate for him? I know of a later, that when they presented the list to the guy, the guy said it was much but they still insisted on him paying it. The guy said he was not interested again, the lady left her family to follow the man immediately. She sef no gree before them finally agree. Abi him don pay finish, na only you Dey face the issue now and not your parents. See u need to Dey use your head

MrsTwrite:
I'm feeling for him, he must have taken loan to make you happy, try and give him some space, do what will make him happy, and not sad, it's too early for all these Wahala.

Speaking as a man, I think what is more painful here is the lack of support from his would-be wife.
150k a month salary in todays Nigeria? How is that a comfortable salary?

I feel for the man. But this isn't the time the woman should give him "space".

This is a time to admit she bleeped up and try to prove it by supporting in any way possible.

I would've blamed the man for going ahead with the wedding, but he may have considered other things. Now it's clear to him that nothing compares to having peace of mind, which he obviously doesn't have with the pressure of repaying loans AND providing for his new family.

I must say this woman is not someone that a man still struggling should strive to build a future with.

You ladies should learn how to talk to your parents about their outrageous lists, the economy is not friendly. Your husband is undergoing trauma, financial trauma? Instead to console him, you are angry.
See what your family have caused, you too cannot enjoy the marriage.
Tell them you are not for sale.

He has all the right to feel that way. AND you have to learn to be humble or more humble if you already are. From your statement, it's as though you did him a favor accepting him to be your husband. If you had reasoned with him from day one, it wouldn't have gotten up to this stage. You had the duty to talk to your parents then. There must be someone your dad respects that you would have brought in to pacify your dad's ego. Now that your dad is not around to dish out his rules, how're you finding your new home?
Next time: It should be ALWAYS, your partner FIRST. Everyone in your family is having his own family to deal with.

SOLUTION: You need to look for a good time when your husband is alone, (step down from your pride. Probably your certificates, age, qualifications, etc kept your eyes down). Kneel if you can, DON'T CLAIM YOU DID THE RIGHT THING THEN. Just apologies. Tell him you didn't think towards his direction. That it's now you really understand that you were supposed to be on his side. Etc.

If you can cry, then cry too.
He just want to see that you are remorseful of what you allowed him go through alone.

Then allow him. He'll think over all you said and begin to calm down little by little.

Wish you all the best in your home.

Whazar:
Anytime husband side with his own family he is always mamas boy or some immature guy to the society but we all know what you girls are when it is time to take side

Women won’t entertain their spouses family in their matrimonial home but their own fam can live with them

You and your family successfully manipulated the poor guy to marry you at all cost even though you all knew how difficult it was for him and now you come here to lament

Honestly nah the guy I blame cos nobody I repeat nobody or any societal pressure will make me do anything above my budget

Now the guy eye don clear say you no even be V and it’s not really worth all the sacrifice he made, so what’s the essence ? Shior

The guy is the one seeking for her hand in marriage right? The bride family has the final say. You're coming to seek the hand of their daughter in marriage. They are to give you list of marital rite. Telling the bride that she should have talk to her father to reduce some items or list right? I believe you don't know her dad more than her. Truly it's once in a lifetime and nothing is too big to celebrate it

Her father is the kind of man that wouldn't bend rules for any reason.

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Gbese wa nile and the economy isn't smiling

You should have atleast try reasoning your Dad..

I block unnecessary billings bcoz after every every, na we both go drink the garri

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Normally, I would have written a lots of words that would definitely leave you convinced after you have gone through them, giving you a great paradigm shift.

Sadly, I am too tired to talk, think and even write. So I will drop a quick fix to your marriage, just a quick fix.

Humans are emotional balloons, emotions blocks our proper way of thinking (seeing things logically, being genuinely open to other’s feedback or criticism) and if this emotions are not being handled carefully they can escalate producing a bigger problem out of something that once seems so trivia subsequently ruining dreams, friendship and of course marriage.

Tell your husband he his right and you were wrong, you should have supported him during those moment but you were too caught off in the wedding taking place and completely forgetting how he his doing, coming up with all the money needed. Promise in the next months you will personally give him 50% of all the money he spent for the wedding and you will also see to it that you both pay the loans back together.

Let him know both of you are in this mess together and this mess was created due to lack of deep communications between both of you and it something you both have to work on to prevent same future mistake.

Do not be scared of how you will find the money to pay him back, just put in a genuine effort, I can deeply sense that your husband is a very responsible man, he will not really put that burden of paying back all the loans or collecting all that 50% I spoke of earlier. Do this and there is no other way you could have tell him better that he his not alone. He never will be.

Pls, do all you can do to keep that man. There is no such thing as husband anymore. And pls do all this while giving him is favorite meal and looking extremely seductively beautiful at the same time.

Meeeeehnnn, it seems I end up writing a bit too much. SO tired.

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

just look at what you did to someone you called your husband just because he loved you and want to marry you,he should do money ritual to provide all the things demanded by your family.may God save the mmen of this generation.now after paying your husband has entered coma.you sure say you even love that your husband at all

Foolish woman. 'He is the one that wanted your hand in marriage yeah yen yen' the marriage has no benefits to you too abi? So because he wanted your hands in marriage, thats y you allow your family to use bills to kill him! Then a whole wedding and u used 50k to support him. You mean 50k is all you used to support your marriage and then you wonder why the guy is feeling exploited... Pstcheew!
You guys will start marriage on the wrong foot then you wonder why you are having problems. Ngwanu go and meet your father and ask him what to do since you are both in cahoots.

GO0DHardDick:


U dey mind the e-diot runz girl with her poverty stricken family? It's not as if she's a virgin to start with. I pity the young man for going into debts just to please a parasite who has been eaten by guys before

The most annoying part is telling the guy I KNOW MY DAD WONT BACK DOWN, IF YOU LOVE ME WHY NOT DO IT.

if na me, I for waka, make her papa marry her.
She'll live to regret that statement

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Your husband is the fool, no sane man can do what he did. When I was in medicine school, in my 500l, I had this real girl I have been dating, they are from Anambra state. I wanted to marry her because suitors were flocking around her. I brought wine and visited ther house in fegge housing estate Onitsha. I bluntly told the parents that I am not financial capable then for expensive marriage but at that level I can feed myself and their daughter till I start practicing as a doctor. I talked to the Dad as man to man. They brought out the list aftermaths and everything sum up to 2 million naira plus the wedding and everything. I called her that I was dating then, she supported her parents saying that I must pay her bride price and church marriage ( church marriage expenses is like 3 million naira) like she wrote it in Capital letter and send to me. She was a junior lecturer then at Unizik. I asked her if she could assist in wedding expenses..she refused. We were still dating, I kept telling her that I don't have money for marriage. Later on we were just casual friends till I moved on. The important thing I want to emphasize here is that she is still single now at 29 years where as I am already a multi millionaire.. infact I worth like 120 million naira now but I can never go back to her! She chats me..we talk but I would always tell her that am broke for marriage. I don't want to be blunt with her. After my penultimate heartbreak, I have given up on love shaa..I am a flirt now and I want to live like this forever till I die. Once I wanted to marry, the finance prevented me, I can't kill myself. Don't quote me for any advice, I don't need your rubbish advices!

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

When we men spend money out of our wish, it hurts us but he should get over it.

Cheer him up time to time and remain positive

Don't say your marriage is about to crash

You and your parents are indeed useless! It's ONLY okoro pple that extort pple at every given chance.

I hope he dumps your useless ass, so you can go marry ur useless parents. NONSENSE!

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

This is sad to say, men that act this way feel they overpaid for something.
You obviously weren’t a virgin, maybe your bedmatics is poor as well. Baba is feeing he overpaid and overstressed.
They say virginity doesn’t matter, but it does somehow, whoever a man remembers he met his wife as a virgin. He would always cherish her more although not everytime

Find a way to have a heart to heart talk with your husband. He is hurting and feels neglected already. He just need you to make that move. God bless your union.

Phranx1:
Give him space & time also be a dutiful wifey for he will come around, am sure from d explanation this happened in d south, due to economic situations parents should be a bit lenient for our children happiness shouldn't be traded for who's daughter's wedding Is d biggest, in d north even a bucket of akara is enough for a wedding ceremony.

Of course, you should know it's usually the Igbos that extort and sell their daughters to the highest bidders. Na dem ways be dat.

GO0DHardDick:



Despite the fact you know you're not a virgin, you still allowed your parents to trade you and extort that young man.

Madam, you and your parents sucked and extorted that young man till he went and borrowed just to satisfied you and your parents fatansies. (He is a foolish man for even borrowing). A real man will dump you the moment he is given an outrageous bills. Love my foot! Something Must be wrong with you. Madam are you a vírgin to start with?

Sooner or later he'll dump and throw you out and then request back for those money he wasted

was your mother married a virgin? Go home and ask her and get back to me.

Barely five months ago, the OP was a male who impregnated his girl/ fiancée. Today, he/she is a married woman.

https://www.nairaland.com/7626428/dont-understand-fiancee-behavior-days#122034695

Isn't NL magic wonderful?
I know the aim of this thread. Just continue.

Jovialjune1 what can u say to this?