OrlandoOwoh:

Could you explain further?

Sweetlemon:


I agree with you. The government needs to do something about it for the sake of those who see no need for more than one ceremony. There is really a need for documents.

What motivated me to start this thread is a lady I know of currently crying her heart out right now. Her then struggling bf only did traditional wedding and postponed the white till further notice giving the excuse of finance. She moved into his house, only too happy to get a hubby just before clocking 30. The guy got an offer abroad but because they weren't legally married, he couldn't take her along. All advise that she should tell the guy to do court wedding of nothing more than 40k fell on deaf ears (court payments plus small refreshment for like 5 witnesses). She was hopeful that he will come back to do the white/court wedding at "his own pace" . Ok nau, the guy left. Little by little, he stopped calling her.

Then all of a sudden, she heard he was in town........ for his wedding! When her family confronted him, he said he was married to her traditionally and he was allowed to have as many wives as he wished under tradition she was given a choice to accept it or leave. Meanwhile he did white wedding with his second wife o! They signed documents. They have both since gone back abroad leaving his first wife high and dry without the dignity of any proceeding. As in it was like an ordinary unceremonious break-up btw a boyfriend and girlfriend. God forbid!

Sweetlemon:
They assume ownership of a bride once the bride price has been paid. If the girl is lucky enough they will do traditional wedding but the white or even court wedding will be till further notice. In fact, unless a girl's family are strong Christians who will insist on the complete wedding rites before allowing their daughter move in permanently with man, the man will not think seriously about a formal wedding.

The thing is that most girls are too willing to allow this happen. Unless they pester the man for a court or white wedding, they will wait a long long time, after dropping one or two kids before having this. But their wives don't seem to be very serious about this. I mean, this trend is becoming too rampant nowadays. A good case study is that of P Square duo. (I love P Square and their brides not saying this to hate o) All the other celebs did both trad and white almost immediately after. Yet the P Square family even their brother Jude, are not about taking their brides down the aisle. I know a few girls personally who are doing this.

Ladies please let's be very careful with this issue. A church or at least a court wedding is more solid. With a traditional or just introduction, the man can wake up one morning and throw you out of the house, bring in another woman and there is little or nothing you can do. But when documents have been signed, you get the opportunity to fight for rights to property, fair treatment, etc if you can get a good lawyer. Also, with a certificate, your marriage is recognized anywhere in the world. For instance, without a marriage certificate, your "hubby" living abroad cannot invite you over abroad as it's done in most countries. You will have to go through another route.

Please if you are in this kind of arrangement, use all wisdom available to you to get yourself an official document. The longer you procrastinate, the more difficult it will be for the man to finally tie the knot while you live in his house.

OrlandoOwoh:
Church or court wedding is not all about spending money, like the would want us to believe. Yes, you spend money, but the main reason some people do it, including myself, is to give it a legal backing. The certificate you're issued at the registry or court has legal backing. For those that did just traditional marriage or paid only the bride price, before the law you're not a couple, but just cohabitating.

MabraO:
[b]Only in Nigeria our ladies allow us men to marry them 3-4 times in 2/3 days
Wetin sef
If my wife no like traditional wedding
Na she sabi
No time for one Yeye pastor to tell me how to run my marriage wen he can't even run his[/b]meaning what and who you dey point to...

GooseBaba:


You said traditional marriage does not constitute as absolute marriage, you relegate it to cohabitating. but your opulence for white wedding gives it legal backing....

In your world African traditional marriage is not up to oyinbo traditional marriage... That equals to inferiority complex...

Sweetlemon:


I am interested in my dignity. It's not just about property. It's about having a rightful place. You men can be funny a times even when you have the best intentions. It's important for women to be protected. Also you need documents to be recognized as a couple should you guys live outside Nigeria especially when issues come up and only a document can clear such.

MabraO:
[b]Only in Nigeria our ladies allow us men to marry them 3-4 times in 2/3 days
Wetin sef
If my wife no like traditional wedding
Na she sabi
No time for one Yeye pastor to tell me how to run my marriage wen he can't even run his[/b]meaning what and who you dey point to...

jmoore:
Growing trend? I don't think so.

Anyway, my plan is to do my traditional and church wedding the same day.


The government needs to do something about our traditional marriage, so we can issue legal documents to back the traditional wedding.

satowind:
Anygal dat is dragging a man to court marriage to be entitled to his properties wen dey split is a gold-digger and is not ready to tolerate the ups and downs in marriage. I think traditional marriage is ideal enough for a family to work. That what the bible recognize

jmoore:
Growing trend? I don't think so.

Anyway, my plan is to do my traditional and church wedding the same day.


The government needs to do something about our traditional marriage, so we can issue legal documents to back the traditional wedding.

bukatyne:


No mind them

Everybody must wedding alariwo or all weddings must cost millions

preay for favour and wonderful deals will be coming your way

Plan and know what you want and work towards it

The funny thing is that the glamour of wedding ceremony is not the money spent but the organization and effort put into it

MadCow1:


Erm. .. Well said..

But in addition, even couples who just started cohabiting and breeding and have lived together over a certain period of time and having been living like husband and wife also have rights under the law. I believe that relationship is called 'common law marriage'.

Problem with this remains the burden of proof which like customary marriage greatly relies on pictures and credible witnesses.



#Tanks

OrlandoOwoh:

People cohabiting hardly have problem with whether or not their relationship is legal until there is a case of devorce and the need for the custody of the child(ren) arises.

tatiana009:
OP is right that it's important to sign documents and make the union legally recognised. It's not only about divorce but God forbid incase one of the parties die and the family wants to cheat you and your children out of what you guys worked for. It just helps to protect the family incase of such things since the law will be on your side even if there's no will.

It doesn't have to be an elaborate affair just go to the registry. If a man doesn't trust the woman enough to marry her legally then why is he marrying her at all that is the woman who will raise your children so you should do everything g to protect her

MadCow1:


The issue of African marriage (customary marriage) vs White weddings is not about complex but legality and absolute recognition and irrefutable proof under the law..


Your post shows you have lost the plot of this thread..

Don't abuse me please, cos I am Mad Cow.

GooseBaba:


You said traditional marriage does not constitute as absolute marriage, you relegate it to cohabitating. but your opulence for white wedding gives it legal backing....

In your world African traditional marriage is not up to oyinbo traditional marriage... That equals to inferiority complex...

jmoore:
Growing trend? I don't think so.

Anyway, my plan is to do my traditional and church wedding the same day.


The government needs to do something about our traditional marriage, so we can issue legal documents to back the traditional wedding.

Sweetlemon:
.

Sweetlemon:
They assume ownership of a bride once the bride price has been paid. If the girl is lucky enough they will do traditional wedding but the white or even court wedding will be till further notice. In fact, unless a girl's family are strong Christians who will insist on the complete wedding rites before allowing their daughter move in permanently with man, the man will not think seriously about a formal wedding.

The thing is that most girls are too willing to allow this happen. Unless they pester the man for a court or white wedding, they will wait a long long time, after dropping one or two kids before having this. But their wives don't seem to be very serious about this. I mean, this trend is becoming too rampant nowadays. A good case study is that of P Square duo. (I love P Square and their brides not saying this to hate o) All the other celebs did both trad and white almost immediately after. Yet the P Square family even their brother Jude, are not about taking their brides down the aisle. I know a few girls personally who are doing this.

Ladies please let's be very careful with this issue. A church or at least a court wedding is more solid. With a traditional or just introduction, the man can wake up one morning and throw you out of the house, bring in another woman and there is little or nothing you can do. But when documents have been signed, you get the opportunity to fight for rights to property, fair treatment, etc if you can get a good lawyer. Also, with a certificate, your marriage is recognized anywhere in the world. For instance, without a marriage certificate, your "hubby" living abroad cannot invite you over abroad as it's done in most countries. You will have to go through another route.

Please if you are in this kind of arrangement, use all wisdom available to you to get yourself an official document. The longer you procrastinate, the more difficult it will be for the man to finally tie the knot while you live in his house.

addictiv:
op sounds as if the sole purpose of having a certificate is to use it as a valid document when applying for a divorce. Say a lady marries a guy who is already worth billions in assets and after 5 years she decides to divorce him and claim ownership of half of the guys assets which he already had b4 he married her. Mbanu.. That's why a prenup is important. Cos if she is gonna insist on a court wedding then I will defidefinitely insist we sign a prenup to avoid stories that touch.

israelbenzion:


u are misinforming people. traditional marriage is as solid as the so-called "court marriage" (Marriage under the Act). the only difference is that different laws govern both. for Ur info, conducting Registry immediately nullifies all other forms of marriage earlier conducted, and performing any other form of marriage after registry marriage is an offence punishable by jail time. pls download urself a copy of the Marriage Act and be better informed. do u need judicial authorities to clarify issues for u? send Ur email address and I'll give u some. but I beg u, stick to facts.