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The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding - Romance (7) - Nairaland

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Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by CoCoLav(f): 8:32pm On Oct 05, 2014
GooseBaba:


Stories that touch... What about all the widows that are now landlady..? How many of their brother in law are they sleeping with..?

Let's call a spade a spade... This is Nigeria.. Anything can happen.. The laws sometimes cannot be enforced.. No matter how many legal documents one presents..


That's what we are saying na. Widows that are landladies most often were married under the ACT. The law is always enforced if you have a good lawyer unless you are afraid they will use African juju on you so you leave it in the hands of God.

Yes this is Nigeria and Nigerians dont joke with money or landed properties.

3 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by GooseBaba: 8:33pm On Oct 05, 2014
chrisbaba1:


[size=13pt]So the court will uphold the content of a traditional marriage where the man can marry two women?? What are you talking about even if you don't know laws, theres common sense na.

Im angry, Infact go and suck agalumo[/size]

grin grin grin Bros, the season for agalumo don pass na...? grin grin

Besides, it all boils down to tribes and how they view their women folk... A first wife is the head of wives, if she signs court documents more blessings... In the case of multiple wives we can deduct that the women understand their culture.. So judging traditional laws with western influence is a bit too emotional...

Meanwhile, go drink alomo bitters... grin

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:40pm On Oct 05, 2014
GooseBaba:


grin grin grin Bros, the season for agalumo don pass na...? grin grin

Besides, it all boils down to tribes and how they view their women folk... A first wife is the head of wives, if she signs court documents more blessings... In the case of multiple wives we can deduct that the women understand their culture.. So judging traditional laws with western influence is a bit too emotional...

Meanwhile, go drink alomo bitters... grin

We've all heard of many cases where the woman only discovers that the man had another wife or wives in the process of the burial and they start showing up , customary law will recognize all those women whereas if she got married in a registry she and her kids will be the main benefactors. Abeg if there any woman who's reading this and thinks customary law is the same it's not o. Research and find out what your rights are under customary law and make an informed decision.

3 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Vikthor(m): 8:41pm On Oct 05, 2014
....court for me...is a yes yes...
White....Hmmmmmm is a No No.


....ttaditional ...I fit shun that one after all...bride price has been paid... sad

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by GooseBaba: 8:43pm On Oct 05, 2014
tatiana009:


Bianca was able to go to the court and she was awarded the larger part of his properties. Please do your research about the case, if she didn't have that legal backing she would have been cheated by his grown children who were dragging the inheritance with her

Exactly..!! You think they did not know she has documents.... But they tried regardless.. What about the women who were not famous or strong enough to fight back with all their documents.. Be mindful of what tribe or tradition you marry into.

When tradition overrules your gra gra documents.. Make he no be like film trick...

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by AreaFada2: 8:43pm On Oct 05, 2014
If you're conerned about in-laws chasing you out of husband house in case the worst happens, there's something called a will.
Customary courts recognise trado-marriage.

There's even something called common law marriage WITHOUT any marriage conducted at all: after some years of cohabitation.

All these religions from the desert have turned people's head. grin

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Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by HARDDON: 8:43pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sweetlemon:
They assume ownership of a bride once the bride price has been paid. If the girl is lucky enough they will do traditional wedding but the white or even court wedding will be till further notice. In fact, unless a girl's family are strong Christians who will insist on the complete wedding rites before allowing their daughter move in permanently with man, the man will not think seriously about a formal wedding.

The thing is that most girls are too willing to allow this happen. Unless they pester the man for a court or white wedding, they will wait a long long time, after dropping one or two kids before having this. But their wives don't seem to be very serious about this. I mean, this trend is becoming too rampant nowadays. A good case study is that of P Square duo. (I love P Square and their brides not saying this to hate o) All the other celebs did both trad and white almost immediately after. Yet the P Square family even their brother Jude, are not about taking their brides down the aisle. I know a few girls personally who are doing this.

Ladies please let's be very careful with this issue. A church or at least a court wedding is more solid. With a traditional or just introduction, the man can wake up one morning and throw you out of the house, bring in another woman and there is little or nothing you can do. But when documents have been signed, you get the opportunity to fight for rights to property, fair treatment, etc if you can get a good lawyer. Also, with a certificate, your marriage is recognized anywhere in the world. For instance, without a marriage certificate, your "hubby" living abroad cannot invite you over abroad as it's done in most countries. You will have to go through another route.

Please if you are in this kind of arrangement, use all wisdom available to you to get yourself an official document. The longer you procrastinate, the more difficult it will be for the man to finally tie the knot while you live in his house.

Dah fvq?

U mean d "bed-guy" didn't marry u ( whyte/trad) after all d constant ferocious browsing et all?

He simply paid some dowry( finally bought a bed) n wanted u to start dropping them lil ones?
Oh how has sweetlemon turn bitterlemon



BTW, whose a33 do u always kiss to make FP?

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:45pm On Oct 05, 2014
GooseBaba:


Exactly..!! You think they did not know she has documents.... But they tried regardless.. What about the women who were not famous or strong enough to fight back with all their documents.. Be mindful of what tribe or tradition you marry into.

When tradition overrules your gra gra documents.. Make he no be like film trick...

Precisely, they tried but they didn't succeed because she had legal backing.

At the end of the day her documents helped her, edit hour those documents she would surely have been cheated and would have been nothing she could do about. That us the whole essence of it, why leave yourself or your wife unprotected when you can avoid it undecided tradition will never out rule documents legally recognized by the law, all they try to do is bully the woman into not going to court but with the support if family I know many women who have successful eon against their in laws

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Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:45pm On Oct 05, 2014
tatiana009:


We've all heard of many cases where the woman only discovers that the man had another wife or wives in the process of the burial and they start showing up , customary law will recognize all those women whereas if she got married in a registry she and her kids will be the main benefactors. Abeg if there any woman who's reading this and thinks customary law is the same it's not o. Research and find out what your rights are under customary law and make an informed decision.
are you encouraging this just because of his properties . there are men who do more for their concubines than they do for their immediate families. reason best known to them..... perhaps they feels fulfilled with the concubines.

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by AreaFada2: 8:46pm On Oct 05, 2014
tatiana009:


We've all heard of many cases where the woman only discovers that the man had another wife or wives in the process of the burial and they start showing up , customary law will recognize all those women whereas if she got married in a registry she and her kids will be the main benefactors. Abeg if there any woman who's reading this and thinks customary law is the same it's not o. Research and find out what your rights are under customary law and make an informed decision.
.

Are the other kids not the man's own? The other ladies have as much right as you. If your husband when alive didn't deem you sufficient for him, why should the courts or his family do so?

It seems the motive here is to corner all his wealth and disenfranchise the innocent kids outside.

So marry your soulmate, not just a rich guy that splashes money around on women or a gigolo?

3 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:49pm On Oct 05, 2014
GooseBaba:


Exactly..!! You think they did not know she has documents.... But they tried regardless.. What about the women who were not famous or strong enough to fight back with all their documents.. Be mindful of what tribe or tradition you marry into.

When tradition overrules your gra gra documents.. Make he no be like film trick...
I can tell you the properties bianca inherited is not upto half of ojukwu's real wealth.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:50pm On Oct 05, 2014
AreaFada2:
.

Are the other kids not the man's own? The other ladies have as much right as you. If your husband when alive didn't deem you sufficient for him, why should the courts or his family do so?
It seems the motive here is to corner or his wealth and disenfranchise the innocent kids outside.

So marry your soulmate, not just a rich guy that splashes money around on women or a gigolo?

No the other women don't have the same rights as the legally married woman in the eyes of the law. The children will be taken care of but court registry does not recognize 2nd wife and so on so it protects the legally married wife. Yes the best thing is to marry a man that won't marry more than one wife or betray you however many women have been shocked by husbands they trusted and thought they knew well until strange women appear after he dies do it is always best to protect yourself

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Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by IYANGBALI: 8:52pm On Oct 05, 2014
OrlandoOwoh:

Gani Fawehinmi, could you explain the law to me as it relates to marriage?
no I won't help you to do your home work. If you are a lawyer or law student,I pity you,meanwhile for your information,gani fawehinmi is late,it shows how current you are tongue
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by GooseBaba: 8:52pm On Oct 05, 2014
Mclick:
Let me start by saying any kind of marriage; traditional, religious or statutory is binding. In most cases we do all kind of marriage as stated above. Little did we know that one nullify another. That been said, by observation, I think girls are more concern about the marriage ceremonies than having a good home, they will do anything to pressure their fiance into an elaborate wedding nomatter what not minding the after wedding. Moreso, some girl will do anything to have a court marriage most expecially not for formalities of the union but for their sense of insecurity. Why nothing is wrong having wedding done the way we are use to, The main challenge ladies do have is they think everything should be about them[b]. If a man that loves you pay your bride price be contented, make sure the man that loves you and you love for the right reason[/b]

Bros, love dey sour na..? Make love take back seat...marriage is a contract... Everyone needs to understand that..
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:54pm On Oct 05, 2014
majekdom2:
are you encouraging this just because of his properties . there are men who do more for their concubines than they do for their immediate families. reason best known to him ..... perhaps he feels fulfilled with the concubine.

It is more about protecting her children. We know of many situation where the family takes everything and the children are left to live a life of poverty. There are cases where the family will insist that the children's school fees is too much and take them out even though their father left enough money for such. To pay for university for the children even becomes another issues as the mans family would have taken his money. It's best to protect your wife and children's future

2 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by easystudy101: 8:55pm On Oct 05, 2014
Typical kolomentality, who made white and court weddings more solid?

Try and avoid traditional marriage and see what will happen to u when you come back to the village and demand for de rights and privileges of a married woman!!!

Na dat time you go know de meaning of 'solid marriage'

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by HARDDON: 8:55pm On Oct 05, 2014
100Cents:


Thank you.

Poster is more interested in fighting for her rights to property.. She is not even a Christian as she mentioned divorce as an option..

God may I dodge all the girls with poster mentality in Jesus name. Amen..

Poor mentality from op.
Sounds like a gurl poverty has ravaged her family , managed to hook down bed-guy n is doing everything to make sure life doesn't throw her back in d dungeon of despair no more.

Poor mentality of most 9ja girls, grab all u can while all is rosy, like they can't make their own way, grow their own wealth

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:57pm On Oct 05, 2014
AreaFada2:
.

Are the other kids not the man's own? The other ladies have as much right as you. If your husband when alive didn't deem you sufficient for him, why should the courts or his family do so?

It seems the motive here is to corner all his wealth and disenfranchise the innocent kids outside.

So marry your soulmate, not just a rich guy that splashes money around on women or a gigolo?
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by jmoore(m): 8:58pm On Oct 05, 2014
Ishilove:

I think traditional wedding is called customary marriage, backed by law or something (I read it somewhere a while back). After your traditional wedding, you go and register it in the local government where it took place after a duration of twenty-one days and you are given a certificate or something like that. My folks never did a white wedding and I have seen their marriage certificate, fully backed by the court in the district where the wedding took place.

I don't intend to do a white wedding. I'm a Christian, but I don't know where it is written that I must do a white wedding. Heck, the weddings that took place in the bible were marriages according to Jewish laws and customs. I'm a Nigerian, not a Jew. I will invite a man of God to my traditional wedding who will bless the union in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Shikena grin grin cheesy

I never knew one can obtain a document after the traditional marriage.

Your plan is my plan B, Nice one smiley
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by iykenex(m): 8:59pm On Oct 05, 2014
Blebleswag:
Buh traditional marriage is d most important. Must u wear white gown?

yes, it is just once in a life-time, mostly enjoyed at the early stage.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 9:00pm On Oct 05, 2014
majekdom2:
is it all men that are willing to stay with one woman ... some learned individuals still talk about 2 to 3 wives .I dont plan to , but dont talk like everyone should do what you expect them to.

Its law, not what I expect. Don't we feel like boko haram members should be slaughtered immediately they aee caught? Law is the standard not feelings. Any woman who won't mind being second can go for d trado solution nd those dont want should follow laws nd stop complaining.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 9:03pm On Oct 05, 2014
tatiana009:


It is more about protecting her children. We know of many situation where the family takes everything and the children are left to live a life of poverty. There are cases where the family will insist that the children's school fees is too much and take them out even though their father left enough money for such. To pay for university for the children even becomes another issues as the mans family would have taken his money. It's best to protect your wife and children's future
there are ways to protect your children's future these days . your wife would not need to fight for any property. have you heard of insurance. I dont think ur inlaw can go to an insurance company and start fighting for whats not theirs..... the case of bianca is just out of it cause those children had every right. you dont have to reap where you did not sow even as a legal wife.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Bitojoe(m): 9:05pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sweetlemon:


Potential legal wedding hater alert. Ladies be warned.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Bitojoe(m): 9:06pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sweetlemon:


Potential legal wedding hater alert. Ladies be warned.

i tired for you self.you just keep on hammering on document.those who have it in mind of going to court at any argument in marriage, always end up in having marital problem. Are you into marriage so as file case in court against your husband.you need to change your mentality.God accept traditional wedding.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by ifeanyija(m): 9:06pm On Oct 05, 2014
The problem Nigerian girls ve is that they depend more on a man, they are not self sufficient so that are always seeking for a share of a man wealth that leads to the demand for court marriage.. female celebrities dont do court marriage. .. @op encourage girls to be self-sufficient. ..

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by abbakacici: 9:07pm On Oct 05, 2014
israelbenzion:


I guess u didn't know that Local Government Councils issue certificate of traditional marriage if you approach them for one. again, I'll bet u didn't know that a simple affidavit of marriage suffices for d same purpose as a marriage certificate. ask NYSC. I have personally called them on this issue before and they stated so. all the
above stated documents never still do?
thank you furthermore traditional marriage certificate or affidavit are acceptable in all organisation in Nigeria and you also apply for spouse visa to most countries including UK, US etc moreover is very cheap in kano is cost like 4k, But the only downside is that in case of divorce or death. the property will share according to traditional that marriage is conducted in, also the husband can married as many wives as he want. I think the reason that most men don't want a court wedding is that court wedding protected wives mostly. because when a lady ask a man for court wedding what he heard is this i want half your property in case or when you die i want to inherited your properties alone etc
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by 100Cents: 9:11pm On Oct 05, 2014
ayobase:


ask your mother how she did hers.

tell ur sisters and aunts never to bother about the certificate, but the ceremony.

u think its all about divorce......God forbids case of death.....I am sure u r gonna be thr first to throw ur brother"s wife out to claim the properties......those sules that liked ur post need deliverance of mentality.

There are two types of people on earth, the wealth creators and the consumers.

I know where I belong.

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Everest9(m): 9:11pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sweetlemon:


You no get wahala nau. You are fully married.

Thank God you understand what I mean by document. Please help me explain to them.

sister you are right, is good to do what suppose to be done but i will tell you something,
For the fact that these days some women like you only fight more for backup in their marriage while focusing less on how to make their marriage work.

for God sake you can do wedding is necessary but when you women use it as a weapon and backup to get a man's fortune then i will say that you don't even deserve both tradi and white
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by adewaleafolabi(m): 9:14pm On Oct 05, 2014
For me beyond the marriage certificate, a prenuptial agreement is paramount. It protects both parties and eliminates any greedy tendencies.

2 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by adebisicutie: 9:14pm On Oct 05, 2014
For those talking about will, I know of a situation where the man left a will and he informed his wife while he was alive. However when he died his brother bribed the lawyer and the will was destroyed so she had no evidence that he had left the children everything and she was supposed to be the administrator. She was married traditional so the mans family said things will be settled traditional. According to them a woman cannot be allowed to be the administrator so instead they selected the brother who was next to him age wise (the brother already knew he would be chosen). They then gave the control to the brother and that the woman would need to ask him for things for the children and he would give them. Once the brother got control he started giving her only peanuts for the children. Luckily she had a job so she was able to manage to feed the children but obviously there standard of living changed drastically. The children where not able to have the kind of life that their father had slaved all his life to give to them.

What does it cost you to do a registry wedding and give your family an extra layer of protect just I case your family dosent want to stick to your wishes . Even though no woman should stay ideal and she would have her own money, a life with one source of income can never be the same, what is the essence of working hard all your life to give your children the best and then you don't do everything to ensure that happens

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by GooseBaba: 9:15pm On Oct 05, 2014
tatiana009:


We've all heard of many cases where the woman only discovers that the man had another wife or wives in the process of the burial and they start showing up , customary law will recognize all those women whereas if she got married in a registry she and her kids will be the main benefactors. Abeg if there any woman who's reading this and thinks customary law is the same it's not o. Research and find out what your rights are under customary law and make an informed decision.

One man multiple baby mama's is simply human. Procreation does not need certificate. However, African marriage via customary laws elevates the woman as a wife. While western influence laws that forbids multiple wives things degrade them to concubines.

In western countries we still hear of children coming out of the woodwork after the man dies to claim their inheritance. So white wedding is an act of delusion. At least multiple wives situations, the women involved knows their situation.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 9:16pm On Oct 05, 2014
Kachisbarbie:
Majority of the people I have seen do this aren't learned. I haven't seen any learned person do it around me...

Sometimes circumstance leads to that, maybe the babe gets preg, and dey start postponing it till after birth of the child...and keep postponing it.

I think it's ideal to do a court @least. Make the marriage recognised by the law...just incase. lipsrsealed

I haven't done court marriage though. My friends keep telling me to force my hubby to do it, so I can be entitled to his fortune, like they don't pray for me to make good money too...rubbish.
What is the essence of will and testament. even without court wedding or traditional wedding, once the testator (A man who writes a will ) dies intestate, the wife is still entitled to his property too

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