Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,488,781 members, 5,642,531 topics. Date: Saturday, 06 June 2020 at 05:59 AM

The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding - Romance (9) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding (59330 Views)

TEN Types Of Men Who Will Cheat On You No Matter What [must Read For Ladies] / Single Brothers Need To Stop Shying Away!!! We Single Ladies Wouldnt Bite.. / Tell Us How To Stop Shying Away From Girls (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) ... (21) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by dancok(m): 10:08pm On Oct 05, 2014
Kachisbarbie:
Majority of the people I have seen do this aren't learned. I haven't seen any learned person do it around me...

Sometimes circumstance leads to that, maybe the babe gets preg, and dey start postponing it till after birth of the child...and keep postponing it.

I think it's ideal to do a court @least. Make the marriage recognised by the law...just incase. lipsrsealed

I haven't done court marriage though. My friends keep telling me to force my hubby to do it, so I can be entitled to his fortune, like they don't pray for me to make good money too...rubbish.
ur friends are thieves,and if u yield to that advice u are greedy.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:08pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sparklesebony:


because Op used a case of divorce does not mean shez wishing for one. It's just an example out of many.

If a man loves/want me enough to marry me, he would go d extra mile to protect me.


Some men see their wives like acquired properties or girlfriends they did some big favour by marrying them. This is called abracatabra. #What you see is what u get#
The best way to protect you is by making you successful just as he is.... he is not protecting you by leaving properties for you to inherit you may not be able to manage his business as he would. which may still fail in your hands leaving you with nothing but you will be able to manage yours.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by NifemiOlu(m): 10:09pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sixix:


I read an article about the divorce of one of the richest blacks in UK, he is an Ijesa man from Nigeria. He got married to a White woman and during the divorce settlement grin grin grin. The man argued that as a Yoruba man, his family, in particular his brother also has a certain share of his property and the fact that the start-up fund was provided by their father is evident of that fact therefore the money was meant to be exploited for the use of his and his brother

The facts of the case are a bit hazy...about three years ago


tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue

The man is funny. Does he expect Nigerian laws to take hold in the UK? Assuming they got married in Nigeria and have Nigerian documents, Oyinbo go cry o. Why is Pastor Chris' wife getting a divorce in the UK? LoL
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:10pm On Oct 05, 2014
Amelian:




Its not abt a man flattering a woman wit court or church documents. Its abt doing what is right and necessary. Women take note o.... Court or church marriage is extremely important. If d man likes , let him treat himself like shit as dis guy said, no be you, or me he will treat like shit. He's only paving way for his downfall..
well , you misunderstood it ... he can still marry other wives thats my point .
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:11pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sparklesebony:


because Op used a case of divorce does not mean shez wishing for one. It's just an example out of many.

If a man loves/want me enough to marry me, he would go d extra mile to protect me.


Some men see their wives like acquired properties or girlfriends they did some big favour by marrying them. This is called abracatabra. #What you see is what u get#
The best way to protect you is by making you successful just as he is.... he is not protecting you by leaving properties for you to inherit you may not be able to manage his business as he would. which may still fail in your hands leaving you with nothing but you will be able to manage yours.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by gogodaye(m): 10:12pm On Oct 05, 2014
@ charistim
Your words of admonition are misplaced...The fable from the OP is what they enjoy hearing & applying....They're so confused..don't know what they want!...can't build homes!....break up the homesteads of others...in their wealth grabbing enterprise....Traditional marriages just like their native names are to be relegated to the stone age..listening to them pouting their shallow views on issues, you're left wondering if they share any positive trait with the rest of humanity..........

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:14pm On Oct 05, 2014
majekdom2:
well , you misunderstood it ... he can still marry other wives thats my point .


Well, he can av another wife or wives, will I stop him? Or tie am rope for neck? The best I can do, is 2 be his legal wife and make sure none of his concubines, disturb my peace and peace and well being of my children @ home, shikena. I no get high bp ontop husband matter.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Sixix: 10:15pm On Oct 05, 2014
Amelian:
Some peeps here especially d women supporting the men saying that, what's in a court or church weDding , that requires a legal document 2 proclaim u as his legal wife anywhere in d world, Not only in yur hometown o or amongst family elders. So that as a bonafide wife to d man, u can be part of his life, especially when he has to relocate abroad or other benefits that comes wit it.
I av a cousin, who got married to a man of 3 wives, whom he married traditionally, but married my cousing legally, even do white wedding join. D 3 wives wan die grin.. But who caused it? So she married 2 d man, and she's d only legal wife, d man has in d court of law, if anything happens. He even made her incharge of all his documents and takes her abroad for trips as his only legal wife. Even though, he's got 3 wives he married. Traditionally, with kids.
Women, use yur brains.. Think, forget sentiments and face reality.

Too bad, the international will not recognise them as his legal wives but it will as his PARTNERS, whether the marriages were legal or not and the kids are legally his

He even made her [b]in charge of all his documents and takes her abroad for trips as his only legal wife[/b]

That doesnot imply that the properties are in her name, she would be asked to provide them if need be by the court of law


There is this old case in English law, the man left his his legal wife for another woman, there was no divorce. He opened an account in his name and upon his death, the issue of inheritance arose, whether it was the legal wife's or the partner's. Guess who inherited it.....

You guessed wrong






The partner did.


According to the evidences before the court, the man had said to her that 'this money is much yours as it is mine' and also the woman paid her money into that account (it could have been just £10 while the man could have paid £2000). The account was supposed to be a joint account, but it wasn't in their names but only in the man's because they were not legally married and she ended up holding the sole ownership to the money even though the court could have directed the money to be divided into two, one as inheritance for his legal wife and the other for the partner... tongue



Your cousin's husband might have created a trust for all his kids without your cousin's knowlegde cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:16pm On Oct 05, 2014
Amelian:



Well, he can another wife or wives, will I stop him? The best I can do, is 2 be his legal wife and make sure none of his concubines, disturb my peace and peace and well being of my children @ home, shikena. I no get high bp ontop husband matter.
the ones he got married to are also legal , because he goes to court to do the same . am just making you understand the typical Nigerian system.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Sixix: 10:18pm On Oct 05, 2014
NifemiOlu:


The man is funny. Does he expect Nigerian laws to take hold in the UK? Assuming they got married in Nigeria and have Nigerian documents, Oyinbo go cry o. Why is Pastor Chris' wife getting a divorce in the UK? LoL

I think It did o cheesy cheesy
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Sparklesebony: 10:19pm On Oct 05, 2014
majekdom2:
The best way to protect you is by making you successful just as he is.... he is not protecting you by leaving properties for you to inherit you may not be able to manage his business as he would. which may still fail in your hands leaving you with nothing but you will be able to manage yours.
Don't you gerit that this is more than acquiring wealth whether d man is dead or alive?
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:20pm On Oct 05, 2014
In a typical nigerian system, u can't go 2 court and marry as many wives as u want.. Nah that's not true. U can pay their bride price, but so many women in court, saying they are all yur legal wives? I hear grin
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:21pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sixix:


Too bad, the international will not recognise them as his legal wives but it will as his PARTNERS, whether the marriages were legal or not and the kids are legally his

He even made her [b]in charge of all his documents and takes her abroad for trips as his only legal wife[/b]

That doesnot imply that the properties are in her name, she would be asked to provide them if need be by the court of law


There is this old case in English law, the man left his his legal wife for another woman, there was no divorce. He opened an account in his name and upon his death, the issue of inheritance arose, whether it was the legal wife's or the partner's. Guess who inherited it.....

You guessed wrong






The partner did.


According to the evidences before the court, the man had said to her that 'this money is much yours as it is mine' and also the woman paid her money into that account (it could have been just £10 while the man could have paid £2000). The account was supposed to be a joint account, but it wasn't in their names but only in the man's because they were not legally married and she ended up holding the sole ownership to the money even though the court could have directed the money to be divided into two, one as inheritance for his legal wife and the other for the partner... tongue



Your cousin's husband might have created a trust for all his kids without your cousin's knowlegde cheesy cheesy cheesy
hehehe , young girls that dont look deep .... thinking is by document.who was given respect at mandela's burial even as they were divorced.

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by NifemiOlu(m): 10:22pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sixix:


I think It did o cheesy cheesy


Na wa o.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:23pm On Oct 05, 2014
1. how them dey take get first to comment? i don dey try am all my life.
2. who dey talk about white wedding nowadays? you want make we share our property were we don work for years by. MONKEY DEY WORK BABOON DEY CHOP,...
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Sixix: 10:23pm On Oct 05, 2014
NifemiOlu:


Na wa o.

Itshekiri not Ijesa

I found the link

http://www.forbes.com/sites/mfonobongnsehe/2012/02/21/nigerian-oil-baron-to-fight-21-million-divorce-with-african-law/

A wealthy Nigerian-born, British-based oil baron has been granted permission to use Nigerian tribal law to appeal a $21 million divorce payout to his former British wife, the Telegraph has reported.

Michael Prest, the 50 year-old founder of Nigerian energy trading firm Petrodel Resources, split from his wife in an acrimonious divorce in 2008. During a British High Court hearing on the divorce in October last year, the presiding judge ordered the tycoon to pay his former wife cash and assets worth over $20 million.

However, Prest has applied to appeal the court’s decision on the grounds that his Petrodel’s assets do not belong to him, but are held in trust for his children, siblings, nephews and nieces in Nigeria, under Nigerian Itsekiri customary law.

The oil baron claims that his company, Petrodel Resources Ltd, was established in 1992 with $13,000 in start-up capital which was provided by his late father. As a result, under traditional law, his company and assets are not owned entirely by him, but by his extended family; he mainly acts as custodian of the wealth.

The tycoon’s attorney Martin Pointer disclosed to the court that under customary law in Nigeria, Prest (who is the first-born son of his family) has a historic responsibility to use the family “inheritance” to look after his siblings and their children.

Prest’s case is also helped by the fact that his younger brother went to a Nigerian High Court in 2009 and obtained a declaration which states that Petrodel Resources is a part of their late father’s estate. Michael Prest also previously acquired a court order from a Nigerian court which forbids him from sharing information about Petrodel and its assets with third parties. Hence, it is difficult to ascertain the true market value of Petrodel resources.

But the former wife, Yasmin Prest, 49, is crying foul. She told the court that Petrodel is “100 per cent owned and controlled” by her former husband. Last October, during the original court case in London, she had claimed that her former husband was worth ‘many tens, if not hundreds, of millions of pounds’. She demanded a divorce payout of about $40 million, plus about $1 million a year for upkeep of herself and the four children she bore with the tycoon. Prest had previously offered her the equivalent of $35,000 a year and a lump sum of about $2.5 million.

The court has not yet set a date for the full appeal.


Michael Prest, an extremely reclusive oil trader and former protégé of controversial commodities trader Marc Rich, founded Petrodel resources in 2001. The company has extensive oil exploration interests in Nigeria, Tanzania, Zambia and Uganda.








Forbes

2 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:23pm On Oct 05, 2014
Amelian:
In a typical nigerian system, u can't go 2 court and marry as many wives as u want.. Nah that's not true. U can pay their bride price, but so many women in court, saying they are all yur legal wives? I hear grin
how would you know ? have you not heard of military men that were married legally to several women because of transfers.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:24pm On Oct 05, 2014
how difficult is it to sign a legal document?
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by symbian03(m): 10:33pm On Oct 05, 2014
Kachisbarbie:
Majority of the people I have seen do this aren't learned. I haven't seen any learned person do it around me...

Sometimes circumstance leads to that, maybe the babe gets preg, and dey start postponing it till after birth of the child...and keep postponing it.

I think it's ideal to do a court @least. Make the marriage recognised by the law...just incase. lipsrsealed

I haven't done court marriage though. My friends keep telling me to force my hubby to do it, so I can be entitled to his fortune, like they don't pray for me to make good money too...rubbish.

Hahaha.. Those your friends must be jealous lol... I'm sure they're single as well.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:34pm On Oct 05, 2014
teeowl:
how difficult is it to sign a legal document?



Honestly, I wonder#
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Sunshinelady(f): 10:35pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sweetlemon:


I agree with you. The government needs to do something about it for the sake of those who see no need for more than one ceremony. There is really a need for documents.

What motivated me to start this thread is a lady I know of currently crying her heart out right now. Her then struggling bf only did traditional wedding and postponed the white till further notice giving the excuse of finance. She moved into his house, only too happy to get a hubby just before clocking 30. The guy got an offer abroad but because they weren't legally married, he couldn't take her along. All advise that she should tell the guy to do court wedding of nothing more than 40k fell on deaf ears (court payments plus small refreshment for like 5 witnesses). She was hopeful that he will come back to do the white/court wedding at "his own pace" . Ok nau, the guy left. Little by little, he stopped calling her.

Then all of a sudden, she heard he was in town........ for his wedding! When her family confronted him, he said he was married to her traditionally and he was allowed to have as many wives as he wished under tradition she was given a choice to accept it or leave. Meanwhile he did white wedding with his second wife o! They signed documents. They have both since gone back abroad leaving his first wife high and dry without the dignity of any proceeding. As in it was like an ordinary unceremonious break-up btw a boyfriend and girlfriend. God forbid!
. God forbid really. Wat a pathetic case. Girls be wise

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:35pm On Oct 05, 2014
majekdom2:
how would you know ? have you not heard of military men that were married legally to several women because of transfers.



Apart military men, whoelse??


And mr majek, I hope u read wat sweetlemon said, abt a first wife bn dumped becos , no legal document 2 support , she's legally married 2 her husband.. She's left behind in nija, while her husband came back, did the needful with another sweet potatoe, then jand back together wit hin brand new wife... Anyways, women, thise who have ears.. Let them ear.
Let no man sweet talk you, into just traditional alone. Be wise.

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:36pm On Oct 05, 2014
teeowl:
how difficult is it to sign a legal document?
only if you truly know the intent of who you are signing it with.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Toks2008(m): 10:39pm On Oct 05, 2014
Legal wedding is no guarantee of happy union but the good thing is that you just cant wake up one day to say you are done but must prove why you are done unlike the traditional wedding that you can just wake up and drive the lady out with no justifiable reason and the lady is just as helpless as anything helpless and despite all the money spent on trad wedding and no matter the bride price,its inconsequential.

For instance my case is an interesting one, i had an elaborate introduction with my ex but we both agreed to wait till her mum returns from USA but we went ahead to do legal wedding.

After five years of marriage my ex claims she is disconnected for reasons best known to her asides adultery or assault of any kind so she left.

She even said i have not married her as i have not paid her bride price and i got confused at that point that indeed some women can be impossible and i was wondering if i was actually really married to her because her mum has not really arrived so we just kept waiting until the separation came up


The bottom line is that despite her calling the legal wedding we had mere document signing,i made her realize that for her own good, she must unsign that mare document else she may face the wrath of the law if she eventually marries someone else without divorce.

So i quite agree that legal wedding is very strong and very vital to put sanity into randy partners brain because the truth is that even if i paid a million pounds as bride price on her,she would still have left as she did and infact marry someone else very fast without any form of penalty and all they will do is return my bride price.

Ladies please dont fool yourself with this bride price thing. Try to do legal wedding because that is more powerful than any other

MY CANDID ADVICE

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by NifemiOlu(m): 10:41pm On Oct 05, 2014
Amelian:




Apart military men, whoelse??

I'm not sure though. I feel court wedding doesn't prevent a man from getting another wife. I think it only protects the woman who has documents (to be catered for and not just pushed out of the house without benefits)
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:41pm On Oct 05, 2014
you have a point some ladies are gold diggers and you need to screen hard when it comes to marriage (personality, attitude etc..)... my quality control is I would NOT marry any jobless lady... only a lady that has a profession or a business of her own. In case she is broke and jobless, well just attach a prenuptial agreement as the condition for a court marriage.

PS: I am allergic to broke and jobless ladies... they stink just like desperate for marriage (DFM) ladies!

majekdom2:
only if you truly know the intent of who you are signing it with.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by philo20(m): 10:43pm On Oct 05, 2014
I don't like dis......
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by ayobase: 10:43pm On Oct 05, 2014
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:44pm On Oct 05, 2014
Amelian:




Apart military men, whoelse??
am not against full marriage rights and all . am not in support of the op ruling out traditional marriage. customary law can beat any other law in court , u just read the story above . the essence of all these is because of your kids , the best thing is to make sure their future is secured and I dont mean properties. There are men who go on business trips with their concubines , infact their business partners dont know their wives but know their concubines very well . its just about TRUST. go with whichever you know will work for you and your partner not convincing anybody one is better than the other. afterall our fore fathers had traditional marriages and they lasted more than marriages of these days .
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by 100Cents: 10:45pm On Oct 05, 2014
ayobase:


who is asking u if u r CBN or not....smh

pin kari ile then

Who cares to answer you ? smh

You open mouth say me go pursue widow claim her husband property ?
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 10:46pm On Oct 05, 2014
NifemiOlu:


I'm not sure though. I feel court wedding doesn't prevent a man from getting another wife. I think it only protects the woman who has documents (to be catered for and not just pushed out of the house without benefits)


Exactly! What are we saying? Women needs 2 be protected. So many men av woken up one day, madam. Am getting another wife, u better accept her or move out. If she's legal wife, and signed those documents, he can't just push her around like a piece of rag. He can marry a dozen women if he wants traditionaly, naim him prick, naim money. But don't treat d one @ home like trash bin.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by GooseBaba: 10:49pm On Oct 05, 2014
gogodaye:
@ charistim
Your words of admonition are misplaced...The fable from the OP is what they enjoy hearing & applying....They're so confused..don't know what they want!...can't build homes!....break up the homesteads of others...in their wealth grabbing enterprise....[b]Traditional marriages just like their native names are to be relegated to the stone age..[/b]listening to them pouting their shallow views on issues, you're left wondering if they share any positive trait with the rest of humanity..........

And that nonsense you call white wedding is what...?

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) ... (21) (Reply)

Bride Carries Groom On Her Laps, Bridesmaids Hold His Legs For Her To Kiss Him / Ladies: Would U Like To Marry A Guy Who Is Still A Virgin? / Dwarf Man Marries Tall Woman (Photo)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2020 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 191
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.