I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... - Romance (4)

I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... - Romance (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... (43601 Views)

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Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Daeylar(f): 11:47am On Dec 03, 2018

Xisnin:
You are right but he has a right to determine his specs in women because relationships are never equal.
If he found a woman who can take care of her family on her own(just like he does), I don't think he would
avoid her.

No, he says he avoids such ladies because even if they were taking care of their families before they met him, he feels that such responsibilities may shift to him if they get married and he doesn't want that.

So I am a bit careful to date a lady who is the supporting member of her family as well, otherwise, support responsibilities may fall back on me as the man if one marries such lady.

. Meanwhile, I have seen decent ladies from a humble background who are equally making some progress in their own right, but i lost interest when I get to know of their family background because of my biased to marry from a well-to-do family

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Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by fk001(m): 11:47am On Dec 03, 2018

franchasng:
That's why I said they can only deceive mumu guys who are not enlightened my brother.

Permit me to brag a bit: I know virtually everything in this life. Sometimes I marvel at the level of things I know

I know about space explorations u may think I am a NASA astronaut.

I know about things happening in all countries of the world u may think I have lived decades in all the countries.

I know virtually everything about military and war around the world.

I know so much about stock trading; Nasdaq, Dow Jones, NYSE, etc that u may think I work with NYSE.

I know everything happening in the leadership and politics of virtually every country that I can tell you unheard things about every country off hand without consulting internet or book.

Literature nkor, hmm don't go there.

Oil and gas sector, let me shut up

Transport and haulage sector

Ecommerce and startups

Programming, coding, etc

Offline trading business

Car importation importation from China

With the level of things I know, I can rule any country successfully at my young age

So I doubt if any Lady can fool me seriously unless I decided to ignore.

I know more than FBI, Mosad, KGB, etc.

I always thank God for the high wisdom He bestowed on me....and I always envy the lady I will finally end up marrying cos she is gonna be super lucky

So in summary, its very easy for me to know whether she is doing well financially or not.

And in as much as I don't need a dime from the lady I would marry, I must know her true financial worth and what she truly does for a living and possibly an idea of what she earns, if not the marriage won't hold.

I am the boss, I decide who to marry, when to marry and how to marry. I have paid my dues and so no lady can do shakara for me, na my turn to do shakara now, na God do am

Hmmm it seems like you took some talking pills.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by XTHRONE(m): 11:50am On Dec 03, 2018

Bro you nailed it, you are not alone, the same reason that is keeping me from marrying

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Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by blackgold2018(m): 11:52am On Dec 03, 2018

zaragal:
Guy, you just ranting... The reason why people not just ladies...focus on a man's financial capabitlities before marriage is because by default the man is the PROVIDER of the family... Whether the lady has money or not is immaterial, the man takes responsible of the finances of the home. Its now how individuals choose to run their marriages that makes the difference, whether the lady wants to assist or not! But a man is seen to be the one who provides for the family....

A lady can't marry a man who can't take care of her and her kids, same way some guys in the other thread say they cant marry a lady who can't cook. No matter how culture is changes, women still manage the home, men still funds the home. Whether we like it or not...its somewhere at the back of our heads. The men expect the women to be homely...good cooks, great mom, keeps the home blah blah. The ladies expect the men to have a substantial steady source of income. It is, what it is!!

By the way, what do u wanna do with a lady' money if you have yourz??

A man RESPECTS a hardworking lady that earns. Trust me the world have changed.
Is only insecure men that marries a house wife.

2 Likes

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Iyajelili(f): 11:53am On Dec 03, 2018

franchasng:
My sister listen, I don't need any lady's money cos God has been so wonderful to me. I used to be a fan of guys marry broke guys and help their family, but not anymore haven seen how our women behave and how they treat broke guys.

I am not broke but I feel the pains of broke guys.

When I see how ladies shower me with love whether fake o or not in real life eh, and I see how they treat broke guys that are more handsome than I am, just because they are broke, it makes me feel bad and just imagine if I was broke how it would have been.

So with time, my mentality has changed.

I just need her to have her own money to be sure she is not just after men's money alone without having money herself cos it's not fair na, haba

I remember how I encouraged most of my childhood friends abroad to marry broke ladies they met in Nigeria and transform their lives but when these guys tell me how most Nigerian ladies abroad swear to remain single for life than to go back to Nigeria to marry any guy and bring him over, I just feel regret cos its not fair. Our ladies are not fair to our guys my sister.

I know a lot of financially successful single ladies who have refused to marry upcoming guys and join effort with them to build a great home but are bent on finding rich guys to marry, and most will end up old and spinsters for life whereas they would have married some ambitious broke guys and help them come up and those guys won't play with them.

So I don't need a dime of her money but she must be my class or even above my level, but will never marry below my financial class as it stands now unless God speaks to me directly and clearly not through any messenger

Meanwhile, I hope u are aware that majority of ladies of today no longer want to cook and keep home for their hubby Most are saying their hubby must be cooking too and be cleaning the house too, so things are changing, u see

Your fears are legitimate and you have every reason to be but you'll be surprised that marriage does not work the way you think it would even after taken all precautions.

1 Like

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by benswagtt(m): 11:53am On Dec 03, 2018

lastclaire4:
Where she lives? Not really o. You rent a house when it is close to your office. Then the other point is theasy company she works. Those girls will say they work for a trading company meanwhile they are in the downstream. Once they mention the name the name sounds foreign and then they tell you it is a trading company and they hen u ask what they sell. Hose girls will give you a product line that you have never heard of. If you ask what do they use it for they will say it is used for painting. Yes it can be used for painting just a specific thing and it has to be processed further for you to use it to paint that specific thing.

But like I said some how you will get to know she is just trying to keep a low key.

By default, that's the way it should be. Nigeria economy has made everything equal. Besides, you don't expect a man who gets rejected by ladies during his hustling days to make d money and still now go back to same ladies. it doesn't happen that way, bible sef talk am, iron sharpeneth iron, no time for wood

3 Likes

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Xisnin(m): 11:53am On Dec 03, 2018

Daeylar:
No, he says he avoids such ladies because even if they were taking care kf their families before they met him, he feels that such responsibilities may shift to him if they get married and he doesn't want that.

There are ladies struggling to take care of their family and there are those who
are very comfortable doing it.
If his goal is about getting a lady with no family, he is better off looking for only-child orphans poor or rich
but he is more concerned about money. There are women from rich homes who take care of their siblings
due to both parent's death(money is not a problem). Such lady will not meet his criteria according to your
quoted post.

He can either choose money or family arrangement. I don't think he can have it both ways.

1 Like

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by BecaciaBarbie(f): 11:53am On Dec 03, 2018

GodisGood4321:
Drop your comments pls.

It is okay to have some reservations about whoever you want to be with, in as much as you aren't going against the will of God for your life. You should pray and ask God for signs and directions, because sometimes His thoughts and plans for us are bigger and much different from ours, so you need Him to help you out.

According to the Bible "Whatever we desire, we should ask God and believe we have received it" this goes to show that, God is kind and will definitely give you your heart desires.

It is okay to be different, to want something that might seem unrealistic but if you don't try you won't be happy right? But then, you just might get what you want if you are patient enough. Don't feel bad for wanting someone from a well to do family, it is fine... we all have that thing we can tolerate and not tolerate, and it is better to avoid those things we can't tolerate. You need guidance from God, because you might see what you want, dive into it and get something even more crazier! No one knows tomorrow, let His will be done.

1 Like

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Quorax: 11:54am On Dec 03, 2018

GodisGood4321:
No, I didn't say all she has to offer should be just coming from a well-to-do home.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts but you don't need to be sorry, I need comments that is why post it.

so when you find one that is well to do, you will collect from her and give to your friends, according to you, who are still trying to hustle and make it?

You will collect from her and give your family? Why will yep u be footing bills of other people as if money grows on trees?

Your target is just MONEY... You better have a rethink now before it is too late to realize there are somethings that money can't buy or give you.

You are speaking for age long infested symptoms of lack of money.

Good luck.

5 Likes

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Xisnin(m): 11:55am On Dec 03, 2018

@OP, I don't know what you mean by "submissive" because it can mean many things
even dangerous ones so it might be difficult for a lady from a rich home to accept such
arrangement because she has been treated well all her life.

That said, you have to be less rigid about your criteria.
Finding a woman who is very comfortable even with families around
will be easier than searching for comfortable one who has no family responsibility.

Whatever you do, make sure you discuss finance while dating, don't assume because
assumptions can be dangerous.

2 Likes

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Julme(f): 11:58am On Dec 03, 2018

I understand your fears but well to do isn't enough,some families can be well to do but may not be supportive..so somehow ur fearsmay catch up with you...
I've heard working class ladies say their money is sole for her and her family and not going to share with husband. What you should lookout for
Is this a good family
Is their mindset that of dependent or growth
Are they supportive of one another
Are her siblings touts or ambitious , determined to succeed kind of people
Do they have a comfortable bread winner or they are looking forward to a Messiah husband
In summary allow God lead you..Him alone knows our today and tomorrow.

10 Likes

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Gettreadyy(m): 11:58am On Dec 03, 2018

GodisGood4321:
For a start, I’m not a gold digger nor am mine looking for someone to take care of my bills.

A little bit about myself. I’m 32 and I’m from a humble background and by the grace of God, my hustle don begins to pay. I'm a graduate and works in a popular oil and gas firm with a monthly take-home of seven-digit. But base on the fact that I'm from a humble background and God don give me breakthrough, I'm supporting my families (siblings) and sometimes friends who are still hustling to establish themselves.

So I am a bit careful to date a lady who is the supporting member of her family as well, otherwise, support responsibilities may fall back on me as the man if one marries such lady. And no matter how much one think he earns, too many dependents can weary one progress and a tree can't make a forest. This engineer my desire to marry a girl from a well-to-do family, even if she doesn't earn much, but her family shouldn't be a liability. I have a reservation of being the ‘look-up-to’ person in my family and as well the ‘look-up-to’ person in a wife family as well. While one may be grateful to God for being able to be looked up to, the pressure of demand/expectation may be overwhelming and could slow one’s progress and one runs the risk of not having who to run to when his own need arises because everyone around has always looked up to you.

But the challenge is to see and get a girl from a well-to-do family is hard. Is either I can't find any or the few I meet always an attitude issue and are hardly submissive. Meanwhile, I have seen decent ladies from a humble background who are equally making some progress in their own right, but i lost interest when I get to know of their family background because of my biased to marry from a well-to-do family. Besides the benefit of not having many dependents by marrying from a well-to-do family, I covert the benefit of been related to in-laws who may have some sort of relevance and influence.

I have this feeling I am settling for less than I originally desired when I see decent ladies but they are from a humble background that I do not advance things with them.

Please, I want to know if this my obsession of marrying from a well-to-do family is reasonable or I am taking it overboard. I just want to hear people opinions about my line of thought and be sure I am still in touch with reality and not just be idealism.

You know what is best for you and i understand your reasons too.
As a fact rich people have attitude, girl or boy, man or woman.
if you desire a comfortable, non liability, rich lady, the right place to find her is in any private university. you can survey a private university close to you, you have a very good chance of meeting the right one there, trust me.

I don't normally ask for help i hate it but I am having real financial issues and i don't have friends or relatives to aid me. I am a student (Law) and I'm so broke & jobless at the moment. please I want you to help a brother in any possible way. I will be greatful & I'll reciprocate sometime in the future. thanks

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Sambaby7640: 12:00pm On Dec 03, 2018

BatmanIsWatching:
This thread is an eye opener. When you look at it, Nigerian girls prefer going for successfully guys, So why should I pursue a broke lady who isn't earning up-to 100k per month unless she is still in school with the potential of becoming great. Seriously one needs to have a rethink.

I swear! We need to have a rethink cus those girls wont marry a broke guy so why should i marry a broke lady? God forbid!

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Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by LyfeJennings(m): 12:02pm On Dec 03, 2018

GodisGood4321:
For a start, I’m not a gold digger nor am mine looking for someone to take care of my bills.

A little bit about myself. I’m 32 and I’m from a humble background and by the grace of God, my hustle don begins to pay. I'm a graduate and works in a popular oil and gas firm with a monthly take-home of seven-digit. But base on the fact that I'm from a humble background and God don give me breakthrough, I'm supporting my families (siblings) and sometimes friends who are still hustling to establish themselves.

So I am a bit careful to date a lady who is the supporting member of her family as well, otherwise, support responsibilities may fall back on me as the man if one marries such lady. And no matter how much one think he earns, too many dependents can weary one progress and a tree can't make a forest. This engineer my desire to marry a girl from a well-to-do family, even if she doesn't earn much, but her family shouldn't be a liability. I have a reservation of being the ‘look-up-to’ person in my family and as well the ‘look-up-to’ person in a wife family as well. While one may be grateful to God for being able to be looked up to, the pressure of demand/expectation may be overwhelming and could slow one’s progress and one runs the risk of not having who to run to when his own need arises because everyone around has always looked up to you.

But the challenge is to see and get a girl from a well-to-do family is hard. Is either I can't find any or the few I meet always an attitude issue and are hardly submissive. Meanwhile, I have seen decent ladies from a humble background who are equally making some progress in their own right, but i lost interest when I get to know of their family background because of my biased to marry from a well-to-do family. Besides the benefit of not having many dependents by marrying from a well-to-do family, I covert the benefit of been related to in-laws who may have some sort of relevance and influence.

I have this feeling I am settling for less than I originally desired when I see decent ladies but they are from a humble background that I do not advance things with them.

Please, I want to know if this my obsession of marrying from a well-to-do family is reasonable or I am taking it overboard. I just want to hear people opinions about my line of thought and be sure I am still in touch with reality and not just be idealism.

By the virtue of your present status, U will be able to get girls that are at par to your status. One honest advice I go give U is to be very prayerful. U can marry a nice girl from a wealthy family and U will still have to run a rat race of being at the top of your game. Wealthy families in Nigeria are very crazy. Your in-laws might not so friendly cos U still don't have a background. No one knows your parent and stuffs like that.
My advice for you is to get an average girl who can look up to for everything. u don't have to marry from a Rich home. Just marry someone average and love life. Don't go looking for what U can't finish. Marry someone average who would tolerate your bullsh1t and that of your family.
I'm saying this from experience of a friend that married from a rich home. He's separated from his wife presently over a very stupid reason and cos the lady has the backing of her parents. She was sent to the US with all 4kids.

8 Likes

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 12:02pm On Dec 03, 2018

So the op wants to support his family but doesn't want to marry someone doing the same? Even the one you managed to find, you don't see them as 'submissive'. how?

You seem to be a very difficult person because you ought to know that you can't have it all.
A lot of women are married to your type and are expressing how negligent men like you are when it comes to your own financial commitments at home and with the kids. But they still manage. Yet, here you are wanting it all.

You have 2 options if you are hell bent on your plan.

1. Marry someone older than you who is very much independent and only needs your sperm.

2. Wait till you are 50 and have finished training and supporting your family before thinking of marriage.

A lot of males hailing you here will end up marrying the very same women you are running away from.

Be there hoping.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Debhans(m): 12:03pm On Dec 03, 2018

GodisGood4321:
For a start, I’m not a gold digger nor am mine looking for someone to take care of my bills.

A little bit about myself. I’m 32 and I’m from a humble background and by the grace of God, my hustle don begins to pay. I'm a graduate and works in a popular oil and gas firm with a monthly take-home of seven-digit. But base on the fact that I'm from a humble background and God don give me breakthrough, I'm supporting my families (siblings) and sometimes friends who are still hustling to establish themselves.

So I am a bit careful to date a lady who is the supporting member of her family as well, otherwise, support responsibilities may fall back on me as the man if one marries such lady. And no matter how much one think he earns, too many dependents can weary one progress and a tree can't make a forest. This engineer my desire to marry a girl from a well-to-do family, even if she doesn't earn much, but her family shouldn't be a liability. I have a reservation of being the ‘look-up-to’ person in my family and as well the ‘look-up-to’ person in a wife family as well. While one may be grateful to God for being able to be looked up to, the pressure of demand/expectation may be overwhelming and could slow one’s progress and one runs the risk of not having who to run to when his own need arises because everyone around has always looked up to you.

But the challenge is to see and get a girl from a well-to-do family is hard. Is either I can't find any or the few I meet always an attitude issue and are hardly submissive. Meanwhile, I have seen decent ladies from a humble background who are equally making some progress in their own right, but i lost interest when I get to know of their family background because of my biased to marry from a well-to-do family. Besides the benefit of not having many dependents by marrying from a well-to-do family, I covert the benefit of been related to in-laws who may have some sort of relevance and influence.

I have this feeling I am settling for less than I originally desired when I see decent ladies but they are from a humble background that I do not advance things with them.

Please, I want to know if this my obsession of marrying from a well-to-do family is reasonable or I am taking it overboard. I just want to hear people opinions about my line of thought and be sure I am still in touch with reality and not just be idealism.

Bro what you said makes 100 % sense and you have no reason to doubt or not follow what you believe and want.
I'm in support of you. The thing is these days love isn't just enough, it's someone that can add substance to you as you will most definitely add substance to the person that makes life and relationships easy. Everyone has what they want and need. You want a wife, but then you also need a wife that you can grow with or can help you add more value to your self because if she's more well to do that you are, I'm sure your type of person will want work hard and probably take your hustle to the next level like you said 7 digits to probably 8/9digits.
The thing now is you have to check the circle or people around you and the places you go. The you'd meet the right people at the right places if you're in the right circle. I think that's just it.
Don't lose hope in finding wife you need cos last last it's better to wait and marry the right person than rush and marry someone who you know won't match your goals and ambitions on the long run.
Lastly Pray to God show you they way, cos all that glitters might not be gold.

6 Likes

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by emerged01(m): 12:04pm On Dec 03, 2018

Oga,in marriage Na wetin u fit do Na im go do. No go dey do pass yourself. You looking for a wife from a well to do family shouldnt be a criteria for you to get married.

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by BrainBrain442: 12:05pm On Dec 03, 2018

I think this is too big for me, pls if you don't earn up to 7 digit pls don't say a word. Bro if you limit your choice to this I think you still have a long way to go. Take Note: family issues don't finish so you will get tired solving them, get a nice girl and watch how everything will call in plac.

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by madridsta007(m): 12:06pm On Dec 03, 2018

GodisGood4321:
For a start, I’m not a gold digger nor am mine looking for someone to take care of my bills.

A little bit about myself. I’m 32 and I’m from a humble background and by the grace of God, my hustle don begins to pay. I'm a graduate and works in a popular oil and gas firm with a monthly take-home of seven-digit. But base on the fact that I'm from a humble background and God don give me breakthrough, I'm supporting my families (siblings) and sometimes friends who are still hustling to establish themselves.

So I am a bit careful to date a lady who is the supporting member of her family as well, otherwise, support responsibilities may fall back on me as the man if one marries such lady. And no matter how much one think he earns, too many dependents can weary one progress and a tree can't make a forest. This engineer my desire to marry a girl from a well-to-do family, even if she doesn't earn much, but her family shouldn't be a liability. I have a reservation of being the ‘look-up-to’ person in my family and as well the ‘look-up-to’ person in a wife family as well. While one may be grateful to God for being able to be looked up to, the pressure of demand/expectation may be overwhelming and could slow one’s progress and one runs the risk of not having who to run to when his own need arises because everyone around has always looked up to you.

But the challenge is to see and get a girl from a well-to-do family is hard. Is either I can't find any or the few I meet always an attitude issue and are hardly submissive. Meanwhile, I have seen decent ladies from a humble background who are equally making some progress in their own right, but i lost interest when I get to know of their family background because of my biased to marry from a well-to-do family. Besides the benefit of not having many dependents by marrying from a well-to-do family, I covert the benefit of been related to in-laws who may have some sort of relevance and influence.

I have this feeling I am settling for less than I originally desired when I see decent ladies but they are from a humble background that I do not advance things with them.

Please, I want to know if this my obsession of marrying from a well-to-do family is reasonable or I am taking it overboard. I just want to hear people opinions about my line of thought and be sure I am still in touch with reality and not just be idealism.

It is important you pay attention to these things.

You take on the responsibility of the wife's family as a married man in Africa. It is that simple. We may pretend about it, delude ourselves, but reality will hit you when you start to take responsibility.

Personally, when a lady says she is the first daughter, and she has a multitude of younger ones, I take my leave. Quietly, believing God will bring a Chief her way. I am not that Chief.

9 Likes

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Crossbow(m): 12:08pm On Dec 03, 2018

Colourich:
I have the urge to call you a gold digger but I will resist.

He isn't looking for someone to foot his bills, he is looking for a woman from a well-to-do family, so she can take care of her family and friends and he will do the same to his. Carrying the burden of the two families may ruin his financial life.

No gold digging here! He earns 7 figures a month!

5 Likes

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 12:08pm On Dec 03, 2018

Just imagine trying to court a male and all he talks about is finance, finance, finance. That's some creepy shiit there.
Even a miss independent won't be told when to wear her running slippers and do the needful.

3 Likes

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 12:09pm On Dec 03, 2018

Crossbow:
He isn't looking for someone to foot his bills, he is looking for a woman from a well-to-do family, so she can take care of her family and friends and he will do the same to his. Carrying the burden of the two families may ruin his financial life.

No gold digging here! He earns 7 figures a month!

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Jackipapa: 12:10pm On Dec 03, 2018

Dee9977:
I also have that mindset but you limit it to marrying a wife that is last born in their family ... to avoid much responsibility

I married the last born in the family but the entire responsibility is placed upon us. Solution is to pray and let God help you as He is helping us by the day.

1 Like

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by JimD(m): 12:11pm On Dec 03, 2018

Marry your class or someone who is better than you, unless you're ugly and you need your woman for validation. But don't base this on financial status alone but on personality. Its hard to find but you'll get there.

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Sambaby7640: 12:14pm On Dec 03, 2018

ZIMDRILL:
if you knew everything you would be a trillioner, you would be here on nairaland

Aje,the guy just they brag shit. U know everything and u not on forbe list? So how e take help u

1 Like

Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by goodnewscliff(m): 12:15pm On Dec 03, 2018

Its very possible to marry frm a well to do family with decent wifable characters!!!!! Infact na broke ass gals naim get useless character pass ohh... U don know what poverty can do to these girls......
Go for better babe thats hardworking and know how to do financial management joor.......