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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... (40812 Views)
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Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Aishasuccess(f): 8:52pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
ZIMDRILL: ZIMDRILL: you are too blind to see that, you are the person that you are trying to avoid to marry one day. you said you are supporting your siblings and friends so its ok for you to support your family and friends but the woman you wish to marry shouldnt have family thats needs support from her if she can? think of it this way right now you are looking after your siblings so its ok if a girl dumps you if she uses your line of thinking ? ZIMDRILL: 2 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by franchasng: 8:53pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
mhizbel:Not always true....some even after finding their purpose in life makes mistake of marrying the wrong woman which most times ruins their entire life and takes them back to square 1. As a man, use your head when you want to chose the woman to marry and you won't regret. Abraham gave his servant instructions on how and where to find wife for his son, Isaac....you don't marry anyhow and expect miracle to happen, use your God given wisdom as a man when choosing your wife 7 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Zieina(f): 9:01pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
franchasng: Okay. We both know this thing is commonplace with Igbo people. Anyhow, I really do understand your position. I believe that if you want to attract quality men, you have to have added that same level of value to yourself as a woman too. It's a two-way street. 3 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Magnetron(m): 9:16pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
gloria34:Impressive. Your Objectivity is rare. Keep it up! 1 Like |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Boss13: 9:34pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
franchasng: My brother don’t let people make you feel bad. If you are not on the right track I will tell you. I decided to express my undiluted opinion on this because many men are neck deep and struggling for their lives as a result of their marital choices. My brother, women are the same oh. The difference is the degree at which they trouble you. Which would you prefer, a rich problem or a poor one? I know your answer already. A rich problem, money can solve. A poor one will give you high BP. Check social media especially Instagram - who do you see the most. Rich kids don’t flaunt. It’s the wanna Bes. Those things are normal for rich people. I am currently outside the country responding to you on a different time zone, only very few people are aware. I don’t post pictures - Why? Who do I want to impress and why should I - that’s how rich people behave. It’s a normal thing for them. It’s the wanna bes that will eat seafood and post the picture for all their friends to see or sleep in Four Point Sheraton and go to toilet to snap pictures. When you enter airplane, watch out for those gals taking pictures - it’s their first time or not a normal occurrence for them. That’s what being from a poor background can do. A rich kid who has been flying from the womb won’t do that because it’s not a new thing. These wanna bes women are the ones that can kill a man, because they missed out on some many things and dreams as a child. They want to relive to experience and not on their father’s bill or time, but a young struggling man’s bill. That’s why you hear I cannot date a man that will not buy me a car. Ask them did their father buy one for them? A girl from a rich background already has a car and will not pressure you to buy one for her or even fuel it. Go and read up about Female Hypergamy - you will understand better. Free poor girls. Have nothing to do with them. In marriage, family background is KEY. 13 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Respect55(m): 9:42pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
Eberechi24:Who is that |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by franchasng: 9:56pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
Boss13:You have strengthened my decision on this issue without knowing. This is why I love forums more than social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, etc. All what you said about poor people being the ones that flaunt on social media and snap picture up and down is true. I have only posted picture on Facebook thrice which was like 5 years ago and later deleted all cos I saw no reason to. By the grace of God I have changed more than 4 cars in less than 3yrs but nobody except my close friends and siblings know the car I drive till date, most think I am maybe not doing well wherever I am cos they don't see update from me on Facebook and don't see me share pix. Who am I posting pictures to impress if not broke girls that will end up coming just cos of my little change whereas my mates are worth billions and u will never know unless u are close to them which is how I want to live my life. My only major challenge with ladies is I get scared of living with a lady beyond a day. I get scared of leaving my house for a lady to go out or being free for a lady to cook for me and all that. I have tried but its difficult cos I grew up around guys and was a loner. Even when friends try to match make me, fear don't let me plus I am dead romantically, I can forget to call or message a female friend or date until she chats me. This has always been my issue which makes me wonder if I wasn't meant to marry cos I won't say I haven't met good ladies that are well to do, I have but I always mess things up with my cold attitude or intolerance of their small mistake. I just pray God helps me marry according to my desire, I don't want to marry and regret cos it won't be funny. I want the best for my kids. Once I get kids and their future is well secured, I don't care if my wife relocates to any country she wishes to so long as my kids are in good hands. Many guys think marriage is all about marrying a submissive lady from poor home, but later they realize they made heavy mistake which I pray to never make in life instead I am ready to die single 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by lastclaire4(f): 10:01pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
pocohantas: I am not a guy Pocohantas. Lol |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Bovis(m): 10:06pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
Boss13: Cold facts! Thanks Sir for sharing your personal experience on this very educative thread |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Leo10000(m): 10:13pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
I think a large quota of u ladies here don't understand what d op said,first and foremost, a lady is not meant to carter for a mans family but a man is to do that at least to an extent to a lady's family,a man is expected to marry a woman an her family including responsibilities but that can't be said for d woman, its even a taboo,over the years men have always seen nothing wrong in doing so but with d latest development in our dear society,were ladies make it a do or die affair to get married to a rich guy even without knowing how he suffered to acquire such,might have been even turned down by same ladies who now admire him so to say,d op is fine settling down with a lady that won't mind if he doesn't stretch his hands to her family's problem cos he has his already, he is not telling u to take of his. another point I want to raise is still on this same topic, from page to this very one,I can say that the reason why a Nigerian girl is submissive is because she is broke or at least u are more financially OK than her,which means the so called ones we are calling angels might be a devil just because they are still broke,why on earth should u tag along a wife being submissive to her man with her financial status,do u loose respect for your dad,mum,uncles and aunts because you think u have made it in life with your change. if i am to work so hard to up my game financially so as my wife to remain submissive,then such wife is not worth getting married to so op,my advice is for u to do what suits u,just have at d back of ur mind that,u can meet a financially independent lady who still have the right moral values about marriage 2 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Ugosample(m): 10:14pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
franchasng: interesting perspective you got there... i have to say. All ill say is... naija women, and indeed to an extent, their counterparts across Africa are VICTIMS OF THEIR UPBRINGING 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by mhizbel(f): 10:30pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
franchasng:It's really a pity that some men end up with the wrong woman. But... I think that a man should marry a woman who has been able to discover her purpose in and is working towards/living in it, and not some wake-up-eat-chat-lazy about-eat-sleep woman. |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by OdogwuMike(m): 10:36pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
I have a little questions to ask the gurus here though. It has been bothering me for a while now, and I have been pondering on the thoughts... I have a gf, 4 years relationship, she's an average girl from an average background. The same with me. My girl is a very good person. Over the years, she has known me so much, and I the same. Honestly, apart from this financial issue, I honestly have no problem with her. She's a complete wife material. But I have learnt from my experiences that love truly can only be sustained with money. Many things could have gone sour/wrong in our relationship if I never intervened with MONEY. The thing is, she's a fresh graduate. Still struggling and looking for a job, but at this time, I have been the one virtually financing this relationship for all these years now. The only issue right now is that I'm still trying to find a perfect footing for myself. And all these is having a financial implication for me, my savings dwindling. I really want to marry this girl, once I'm ready, but I fear she might not be financial stable too by then. I have personally seen my two uncles and a friend go down financially because of the marital choices they made. They are all regretting, but it's already too late. I don't want to make that mistake they made . If u wia in my shoe, what would u do? Will u give the relationship more time, or break up with her. Cause honestly, the last thing I want to do is to make her waste her time waiting for me... I really do not need any girl's money, otherwise I won't even be in this relationship for years now. All I want is a financially independent woman. I want the future of my kids to be secured. Please no emotional answer, just logical and realistic responses. Thanks. 1 Like |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by darkelf: 10:54pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
gloria34: Your honesty and openness is rare ma'am I must say, i'm impressed ma 1 Like |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by dumaro(f): 11:05pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
franchasng:Baba calm down na novel you want write? One sentence would have passed message. It's great your open minded, equality rarely comes with complete submission both parties just have to be understanding......marriage is just about understanding no matter what side your marrying. 2 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 11:14pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
The narrative has finally changed! Nice one! Bravo!!! At least for obvious reasons there wouldn't be any reason for name calling from either of the gender, we go all dey alright! My hunt for a well-to-do man has just skyrocketed! I won't suffer this hard to get to this level and then settle with a Broke morafucker! Tueh! may the odds be in my favor. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Ugosample(m): 11:22pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
Jackipapa: sorry about that |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by MycroftHolmes: 11:30pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
madampresident: 1 Like
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Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Finelinks: 11:47pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
cherriex: You believe in horoscope? |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Boss13: 11:52pm On Dec 03, 2018 |
OdogwuMike: Before I answer let me clear this up. Marrying a girl from a rich/wealthy background does not mean you would ask her for money - NOT COOL. You are marrying her because of the financial stability in her family. You are marrying her because of the connections. You are marrying her because you intend to sustain and grow wealth. You are marry her because you could learn a bit about wealthy generation and sustenances from her family. You are marrying her because you don’t want in-laws to transfer their responsibilities to you. Back to your concerns - I don’t know what you mean by average background. I’m sorry it’s vague. However, where are her parents whilst you are saddled with catering with your OWN bills as well as taking care of HER OWN bills. Certainly, there is only one way your savings would go - DOWNWARDS because your income is not sufficient enough for two people. Another question I thought about is - Why can’t her parents or close family relations get her a job since she is done with school. If they cannot do so for their daughter, my brother, the same is applicable to you when you would be faced with financial difficulties. You have also mentioned how your money was able to resolved issues and act as a sweetener to your relationship. Money is the oil that sustains relationship. Marriage is real life - that means bills. Without money, your neighbors will become marriage counselors during misunderstanding. You stated vividly that apart from financial issues, you do not have any issues with her. Brother, financial quarrels is the highlights of all issues in marriages. Also, I observe that you intend to marry her out of sympathy and because she has been with you for a long time. MY RESPONSE WOULD BE - NEVER MARRY OUT OF SYMPATHY. YOU WILL REGRET IT. If I were in your shoes, I will not marry her - reasons below - You’re struggling financially. It appears that your current income is not sufficient for you and you have added an extra mouth. Don’t forget that product of marriage is kids and immediately she gets pregnant, extra bills till that child graduates from university. - it appears that your gf background is not solid enough likewise yours. In the event of a crisis, it appears that you may be left alone with a nagging/wailing and bitter wife. A bitter wife is a poisonous wife. Finally- go within your quiet confines and ask yourself these salients questions 6 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by OdogwuMike(m): 1:21am On Dec 04, 2018 |
Wow. Thanks so much Boss13 for ur logical responds. We learn everyday, and I'm truly humbled/ marveled at ur wisdom. You are a logical and realistic person. Truly people like u succeed simple because u let no emotional stuff weigh u down. Nigerian's capitalist economy doesn't give room for anything other than logic, and in my case, I must use logic in making this very important decision. Can't tell u enough how much I appreciate ur factual and emotional devoid response. Thanks once again... |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Milesrose(f): 1:35am On Dec 04, 2018 |
Boss13: 1 Like |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by naijacentric(m): 2:55am On Dec 04, 2018 |
franchasng:Thank u sir u are too much |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Boss13: 3:53am On Dec 04, 2018 |
OdogwuMike: You’re welcome OdogwuMike. Focus on making money and not taking care of another man’s daughter. That’s not your job or responsibility. The love you think she has for you will dry up within seconds once she realizes that you cannot sort yourself out financially. Don’t complicate your situation. One thing I can assure you is that as you climb the stairs of success, the class of women you play with changes. Is it beauty you are looking for? Make money - Na Real Raw Angels you go dey see. A good example is Oshiomole. I read where people see marry a decent good girl. There is nothing like that. Circumstances change people. Don’t fall for that BS. It’s 9:50pm here. I’m glad I was able to share my experience. Good night or good morning. 3 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Daeylar(f): 4:40am On Dec 04, 2018 |
CHoccolaTE: Real hypocrites. The thread was full of nice helpful answers from his fellow men (notice, men support their own ) and women, but let it be a woman, the way some men will jump in and call her golddigger, olosho. OMG. one of the most aggravating things you'll see are some women who are trying their hardest to please misogynists on this site will take to bashing their fellow woman so (the misogynists) will stroke their(such women) ego and call them objective, e.t.c It just shows you, men are bashing women for the same thing they would do if they were women, because if men are looking for financially stable partners as men, just imagine what they would do if they were women. 5 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Ugosample(m): 8:29am On Dec 04, 2018 |
gloria34: That's good But what I find interesting is that, if a woman (most women) have this in mind, why are they criticizing the OP and other men for wanting same What's their problem with that? |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Ugosample(m): 8:35am On Dec 04, 2018 |
franchasng: A lot of young men already have Sad but it's the truth |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by pansophist(m): 8:37am On Dec 04, 2018 |
Daeylar: You are comparing apple and orange here. Requiring women to be financially independent is not bashing (even though as a rule, women require such from their men). Men desire financially stable partners to avoid been leeched on by her and her family. Nigerian women desire a financially stable man so they can leech on him. Two different things. A woman of worth will be focused on what she brings to the matrimonial table, not only what she will take. The world is progressing towards brutal capitalism that has tickled down and requires the reformation of gender relationship (thanks to feminism), and women rewarded just for being women is a thing that will be obsolete in the distance future. This is what equality looks like, it comes with equal responsibility. I also do not think men are against women who desire financially stable partners, it is about not being taking for a ride and seen as a cow to endlessly milk from. It is about support even during hard times and having a wife that loves him regardless of his material possessions. seems uncomplicated to me. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Ugosample(m): 8:58am On Dec 04, 2018 |
franchasng: I hate to say this...... But in the Nigerian context, you really have a point...... As an Igbo man, I see this game play out again and again and again. If you know what I mean 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 10:11am On Dec 04, 2018 |
Elder0001: Every time you say you sane and beta man and feel like say you be good person and blessing to women needing good man for marriage. Your ex-woman pocohantas also claim say she be good woman and sane and needing a beta not alpha man for marriage. Now my conclusion be say as two of you no last for the relationship and always fighting for nairaland it means say the two of you be mad people. Now I know why normal people say mad people no the know and agree say they mad. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Ugosample(m): 10:40am On Dec 04, 2018 |
pansophist: you have said it all |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by kunleweb: 12:10pm On Dec 04, 2018 |
yettymuse: I laughed hard reading this. Lol 2 Likes |
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