Eberechi24:

Hook her up with franchasng. She's his spec

Na so you hate me reach, ewo

jorion:


The fact that you are trying to compare unions of old to the ones these present groups of desperados are into only proves that you don't understand millennia ladies. The problem usually starts when your wealth begins to wane, or when she sees wives of your colleagues driving brand new cars etc. That is when you will know that money is the most important criteria in marriage.

Money is not: peace of mind is. Yes, girls being after money has been the order of the day recently, but that doesn't mean everyone is like that. There are still some good ones left. OK, I have a question for you.

What if a man's source of income starts dwindling even
when he's married to a girl from a well-to-do home? Do you think she would be able to cope? It all depends on personality! And not from being from a rich or poor home. Please let's change our mindset, poverty or no poverty won't change who we truly are.

Boss13:


They have to know. That’s why I support your opinion 100%. I never married from a poor background and it was not by chance or love. I swore never to do it because I have seen the finances of good men go under. I have also swore never to give birth like they give award for the number of children one has. When I was a bachelor, I dated - rich gals, poor gals - and there are not different. In fact the poor ones have too much problems and were so demanding financially. You can’t blame them. Imagine playing the role of a lover and a father at the same time. Why take up the role of a girl’s parents? It is this stupid ignorance thinking that has put many Nigerian men in financial bondage.

Women are smarter than men when it comes to picking their spouse. Many men don’t ask what they intend to get from their marriage. If you do the maths - when two people come together and the family income does not change upward, that’s a fall in financial capability and that means there is a net decrease or demerit for that man after getting married. Add family wahala to that and kids - that man is destined to struggle. No be witch or village people Na who you marry.

I wanted to use a real life experience to exemplify this line of thought but out of respect for the people concerned, I decided other wise.

NEVER MARRY A POOR GIRL FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. DONT SAVE ANYONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF

Ah, I have finally found a role model, respect sir

franchasng:
That's why I said they can only deceive mumu guys who are not enlightened my brother.

am

Ta.

jorion:


Be careful what you wish for. I have seen ladies do things to make oil workers give them 90% of their salaries each month. That poor and witty wey dey sweet u go put u for trouble

No troubles bro! My sisters are wise too and we ain't so rich, but they are doing well. They didn't put anyone in trouble. That you've seen and heard terrible experiences doesn't make everyone ,same.

franchasng:
My sister listen, I don't need any lady's money cos God has been so wonderful to me. I used to be a fan of guys marry broke guys and help their family, but not anymore haven seen how our women behave and how they treat broke guys.

I

Didn't I say it? Hmm

franchasng:
My sister listen, I don't need any lady's money cos God has been so wonderful to me. I used to be a fan of guys marry broke guys and help their family, but not anymore haven seen how our women behave and how they treat broke guys.

I

Didn't I say it? Upon all your brag you're a sissy. Real, well grounded men don't marry up. To your level is understandable but to marry above your level is quite irritating to hear.

lastclaire4:


Grade fire. Girls know the reason people ask this question. She will tell u something commensurate with the salary she wants you to know.

Will you also tell her your salary? because from personal experience...guys are even more averse to that question.

Once you ask a Naija guy that question, his gold-digger alarm comes on.

Tecks10:


Money is not: peace of mind is. Yes, girls being after money has been the order of the day recently, but that doesn't mean everyone is like that. There are still some good ones left. OK, I have a question for you.

What if a man's source of income starts dwindling even
when he's married to a girl from a well-to-do home? Do you think she would be able to cope? It all depends on personality! And not from being from a rich or poor home. Please let's change our mindset, poverty or no poverty won't change who we truly are.

The probability of a man's wealth dwindling is higher when he marries a broke lady from a broke family. I have worked as a home lesson teacher for all sorts of families just after my nysc. If you see the way poor men's wives address them, you will hate marriage. Don't even try to make that mistake of thinking money is not a critical part of marriage. The best way to have peace of mind is to continually spoil your wife or home with wealth, she will forever be loyal

zaragal:
Whether u marry a rich girl or "humbled background" lady, u will still have to extend ur hand to the extended family because by marriage her family becomes urs....

Just marry a Good girl, who loves and fear the lord. Some rich or well to do background chick comes with a price. Because u might end up being the wife and she the husband, after all....Her father has money.

In life u explore all options and by the way, you compromise at each point in time, if its not for the wrong thing.

You could marry a girl from an humble background and u wont carry as much responsiblity as u think, or God could provide more for you, you both could have a savings for the extended family....joint funds to send home 50/50 or so.... The wife in question will have a job.

You could also marry a rich girl and her family demands alot from u as inlaw.... Or the wife might want to live extravagant when u are trying to meticulous in your spending and save for tomorrow. She came from a rich home and lived extravagantly. That wouldnt change in her husband house.

So my dear, be open...the most important thing to consider is ....The lady, is she a christian??... A good girl and is the family a christian as well....

He be like say u never see inlaw with money, wey go frustrate u with their money join na?? . Just slap their daughter and u will build a house in prison....*That was on a little note*

This is the most sensible thing I've read since I opened this thread.

Zieina:


Didn't I say it? Upon all your brag you're a sissy. Real, well grounded men don't marry up. To your level is understandable but to marry above your level is quite irritating to hear.

[img]http://1.bp..com/-Nhogooc9-jE/U5X92CYCFII/AAAAAAAAIQ4/__k3uGjhVkA/s1600/rofl-smiley.png[/img]

jorion:


The probability of a man's wealth dwindling is higher when he marries a broke lady from a broke family. I have worked as a home lesson teacher for all sorts of families just after my nysc. If you see the way poor men's wives address them, you will hate marriage. Don't even try to make that mistake of thinking money is not a critical part of marriage. The best way to have peace of mind is to continually spoil your wife or home with wealth, she will forever be loyal

Most quarrels amongst poor families is money. Most quarrels amongst rich families is the other woman. Money is the most important ingredient for sustainable marriage not love. My advise is for young men. Please ladies, I’m not trying to be an A-hole, but the advice I’m giving these men is what I will tell my son. In fact I will be brutal with him if he comes home with a poor girl.

Zieina:


Ta go and sit down. Yeye. People like you with all their brag will still marry a sauceless girl. Stink!

not necessary na, haba

Yeah you maybe right....you know sometimes nature humbles us for a reason....but the possibility of that happening is very rare cos I don't even date below my par anymore no matter how beautiful the girl maybe talk more of marrying, so how will the marriage even happen, maybe spiritually, i doubt still

I am a very careful kind of guy...I don't keep girlfriends....and if I ever keep, you dare not cook for me or come to spend weekend....I don't even have the gut to allow any lady stay in my house while I am away...scares me.

So even with juju, it won't work cos something have to bring us closer....unless God Himself decides that He wants me to settle below and He must speak to me directly not through any agent....I must hear and see clear signs, if not, my dear sister, the possibility is very slim

Boss13:


Most quarrels amongst poor families is money. Most quarrels amongst rich families is the other woman. Money is the most important ingredient for sustainable marriage not love. My advise is for young men. Please ladies, I’m not trying to be an A-hole, but the advice I’m giving these men is what I will tell my son. In fact I will be brutal with him if he comes home with a poor girl.

My mentor, preach on sir...tell them.

Money is the major ingredient of today marriage cos we are in a capitalist, monetized world....without money love can never be sustained.

Guys should always remember, that your 300k or 500k monthly income cannot sustain you + broke/unemployed wife + broke in-laws demands + your own parent's upkeep + kids (when kids start coming).....it will weigh you down.

That's why you see guys that bought a car while single, after they marry, they keep driving the same car for 5yrs and above no change, no new building project, no new business startup, just to eat, pay house rent, pay children school fees, and the year ends and the cycle continues till kids become teenagers, then graduates and daddy and mummy have no business or company or tangible investment for them to inherit and start life with....they continue with the suffering daddy and mummy started with again and it goes on and on till God knows when.

These things are not the hand work of village witches, it is the hand work of Nigerian men indirectly encouraging Nigerian women to be lazy and dependent on men alone, it has to stop for Nigeria to grow and progress as a nation

franchasng:
My mentor, preach on sir...tell them.

Money is the major ingredient of today marriage cos we are in a capitalist, monetized world....without money love can never be sustained.

Guys should always remember, that your 300k or 500k monthly income cannot sustain you + broke/unemployed wife + broke in-laws demands + your own parent's upkeep + kids (when kids start coming).....it will weigh you down.

That's why you see guys that bought a car while single, after they marry, they keep driving the same car for 5yrs and above no change, no new building project, no new business startup, just to eat, pay house rent, pay children school fees, and the year ends and the cycle continues till kids become teenagers, then graduates and daddy and mummy have no business or company or tangible investment for them to inherit and start life with....they continue with the suffering daddy and mummy started with again and it goes on and on till God knows when.

These things are not the hand work of village witches, it is the hand work of Nigerian men indirectly encouraging Nigerian women to be lazy and dependent on men alone, it has to stop for Nigeria to grow and progress as a nation

Give this guy 2 bottles of COLD GULDER

franchasng:
not necessary na, haba

Yeah you maybe right....you know sometimes nature humbles us for a reason....but the possibility of that happening is very rare cos I don't even date below my par anymore no matter how beautiful the girl maybe talk more of marrying, so how will the marriage even happen, maybe spiritually, i doubt still

I believe in equality so I agree with you. I just hope you stick to your desires cos it would be funny if afterall the bravado u end up with a palasa.

franchasng:
My mentor, preach on sir...tell them.

Money is the major ingredient of today marriage cos we are in a capitalist, monetized world....without money love can never be sustained.

Guys should always remember, that your 300k or 500k monthly income cannot sustain you + broke/unemployed wife + broke in-laws demands + your own parent's upkeep + kids (when kids start coming).....it will weigh you down.

That's why you see guys that bought a car while singing, after they marry, they keep driving same car for 5yrs and above no change, no new building project, no new business startup, just to eat, pay house rent, pay children school fees, and the year ends and the cycle continues till kids become teenagers, then graduates and daddy and mummy have no business or company or tangible investment for them to inherit and start life with....they continue with the suffering daddy and mummy started with again and it goes on and on till God knows when.

These things are not the hand work of village witches, it is the hand work of Nigerian men indirectly encouraging Nigerian women to be lazy and dependent on men alone, it has to stop for Nigeria to grow and progress as a nation

There is no 2 ways about this. I know the level of peace of mind that I have. Nobody is knocking on my door asking for school fees or handout or forcing me to train. I concentrate on my family alone. If my in-laws are coming, I treat them with respect because they are well to do. They don’t ask for anything financial or trouble my life with non-financial issues. My discussion with my father in law is business related, even at his age, and not how to pay medical bills. I admire him and want to keep hustling like he is doing at an old age. Even there is subtle competition and it pushes you to aspire to be MORE.

If my in-laws call, I don’t dodge calls because I know they are just checking up on me or want to hear my voice. I don’t say this to brag - far from it. I consciously chose my wife from the various ladies I wanted to marry. You may not have the opportunity to choose your parents, but don’t make the mistake in choosing your in-laws.

Dee9977:
I also have that mindset but you limit it to marrying a wife that is last born in their family ... to avoid much responsibility

Nobody can force you to take on her parents responsibilities... men do these things by themselves


Mostly the alpha males..nobody can force you to pay your wife sibling school fees of give her parents money

jorion:


Give this guy 2 bottles of COLD GULDER

He deserves more than that. What he is saying is GOLD to young unmarried men. If you make the mistake, you can never correct it. Even if you divorce, that woman is still part of your family through the children she would give birth to.

I know this because I’m married and 97% of people I know are married too. Don’t marry a poor girl - Avoid it at all cost.

Zieina:


I believe in equality so I agree with you. I just hope you stick to your desires cos it would be funny if afterall the bravado u end up with a palasa.

I really don't wish to....not because I am proud or trying to be an AH, but because I want a secure future for my kids and I want a lady that will sincerely partner with me in what we call marriage and create an enduring, lasting home and investments for our kids so they don't end up in the struggling cycle of this world.

Have you ever imagined how difficult its going to be for children born in the next 20yrs to secure a promising job, considering how hard it is for graduates all over the world now

Even in developed nations like US, UK, only those in medical sector and maybe cyber world are still getting good jobs, so think of 20 - 30yrs to come when our kids will become adults

That is why every single guy and lady now must start now to plan ahead for their kids...think of owning a thriving business, company, investment, and what have you that they can inherit and kick start life with while working on their own dream.

Marrying below may hamper all these moves and dreams....so that's why....its not cos I hate anybody or any class....of course if I was as rich as Dangote, I will definitely not consider my future wife's financial worth cos mine alone can take care of her shortcomings

oglalasioux:


Hitler was married the day he committed suicide just for a final favour to Eva Braun for remaining faithful to him till the end.

He was unmarried all his life because of same reason I gave above. He said it severally in Mein Kampf (I have a copy).

When he married is beside the point, you came to a public forum and said Hitler didn’t marry which is not true.

Point of correction also, he and his wife didn’t commit suicide the day of their wedding. Yes they were barely married for Upto 40hrs before they died, but it was not the same day.

You should probably brush up on your HItler history.

kimbraa:
He's as delusional as you initially suggested. My apologies in advance if you find that abusive. What's the ratio of ladies from well to do families worldwide going down their social strata to marry a man from a poor family? Very insignificant figure if compared to men from the rich homes who would marry from any class. I think it's ok to dream. He may wake up one day in one rich man's house, married to his daughter and being controlled like a puppet. That's how it mostly ends.

You're a 100level student of UNIBEN

You're a kid who doesn't know how these things work ,I think you should focus more on your studies.

wizkidblogger:


lol. Some last born are the pillar of their families oo

I no pray for that kind one oi

zaragal:



Guy, you just ranting... The reason why people not just ladies...focus on a man's financial capabitlities before marriage is because by default the man is the PROVIDER of the family... Whether the lady has money or not is immaterial, the man takes responsible of the finances of the home. Its now how individuals choose to run their marriages that makes the difference, whether the lady wants to assist or not! But a man is seen to be the one who provides for the family....

A lady can't marry a man who can't take care of her and her kids, same way some guys in the other thread say they cant marry a lady who can't cook. No matter how culture is changes, women still manage the home, men still funds the home. Whether we like it or not...its somewhere at the back of our heads. The men expect the women to be homely...good cooks, great mom, keeps the home blah blah. The ladies expect the men to have a substantial steady source of income. It is, what it is!!

By the way, what do u wanna do with a lady' money if you have yourz??

The same thing the lady will do with his money even though she has her own money

Boss13:


There is no 2 ways about this. I know the level of peace of mind that I have. Nobody is knocking on my door asking for school fees or handout or forcing me to train. I concentrate on my family alone. If my in-laws are coming, I treat them with respect because they are well to do. They don’t ask for anything financial or trouble my life with non-financial issues. My discussion with my father in law is business related, even at his age, and not how to pay medical bills. I admire him and want to keep hustling like he is doing at an old age. Even there is subtle competition and it pushes you to aspire to be MORE.

If my in-laws call, I don’t dodge calls because I know they are just checking up on me or want to hear my voice. I don’t say this to brag - far from it. I consciously chose my wife from the various ladies I wanted to marry. You may not have the opportunity to choose your parents, but don’t make the mistake in choosing your in-laws.

I am bookmarking this page sir, you are amazing, thanks for all these facts and counsels you have been giving us freely here, thank you so much

I have a friend who lost his job shortly after he married, but what saved him was that he married a girl from a well to do family, so his in-laws didn't have the ability to give him another job but they have money so they lent him 5million naira which he used to invest in his business he was doing by the side while working, and today, this guy owns a fast-rising small company that now execute contracts worth around 10 - 30million.

As if that's not enough, his in-laws want to sponsor their daughter; my friend's wife to travel to Canada for masters....what else is sweeter than this

And on the other hand, I have another friend who married a first daughter from a poor home and you need to see how my guy's finances is going down due to numerous demands from his in-laws.....he pays school fees for some of the wife's sisters, pays their house rent at times, send monthly stipend and whenever he refuses to spend, his wife starts to cry and this makes him weak....but as his close friend, my guy is dying in silence and regretting already

Nigerian single guys and ladies must begin now to learn that giving birth without planning is disastrous....don't plan to give birth hoping that one rich uncle or sibling or friend will train your children for you...it is not a taboo not to marry or not even give birth....

Giving birth out of faith and hope that God will train them is what kept Nigeria the way it is today....it is what is holding Nigeria down...and making us to hear so many stories of financial related crimes as people are struggling to meet up with poor family pressures while in the cities, we as modern Nigerian youths must work hard to change all these anomalies

franchasng:
I really don't wish to....not because I am proud or trying to be an AH, but because I want a secure future for my kids and I want a lady that will sincerely partner with me in what we call marriage and create an enduring, lasting home and investments for our kids so they don't end up in the struggling cycle of this world.

May God grant your desires. Also pray to marry from a good family. Some families, rich or not, will wreck you. No matter what you decide for yourself, never marry a girl whose parents are controlling. Study her parent's personality traits. You should be fine.

P.S- Are you igbo though? Cos the way you go about this thing.

franchasng:
I

And on the other hand, I have another friend who married a first daughter from a poor home and you need to see how my guy's finances is going down due to numerous demands from his in-laws.....he pays school fees for some of the wife's sisters, pays their house rent at times, send monthly stipend and whenever he refuses to spend, his wife starts to cry and this makes him weak....but as his close friend, my guy is dying in silence and regretting already

I beat my chest this is a igbo family. Yorubas don't live like this.

One more thing, if you're a man who doesn't support feminism/gender equality but you hope to or want to share bills with your wife ..God will punish you in ten folds

You can't be claiming alpha male and dictating to her while still reaping the fruits meant for only sane beta males like me.

CHoccolaTE:
All you men looking for rich ladies from well to do homes better get these facts into your head, whether you like it or not.

1.) As long as she is rich and also contributing to the financial well being of the family, you better be ready to join her in doing house work and cleaning and taking care of children because knowing how selfish and entitled Nigerian men are I am already 100% sure you all think you can just marry a lady that will be a fellow breadwinner and also house maid that you can bully and order around in the name of submission.
Once your wife joins you in paying bills, school fees, house food etc you have no other fvcking choice but to join her in anything regarding housework, even cooking. Yes.

You are right

Well... My pastor taught me this: 'Find your purpose in life,, pursue it with passion and you will find your spouse in the process of doing this... '

Zieina:


May God grant your desires. Also pray to marry from a good family. Some families, rich or not, will wreck you. No matter what you decide for yourself, never marry a girl whose parents are controlling. Study her parent's personality traits. You should be fine.

P.S- Are you igbo though? Cos the way you go about this thing.

Check my posts here on Nairaland, I am Pro-Igbo....indirectly a tribalist when it comes to politics, so yes, I am full blooded Igbo with friends cut across Nigerian tribes, and nations


I have Yoruba friends who are also in similar marriage mess...its not about tribe...its about choice...

My friend that married a girl from well to do family, my sister....the wife is a living angel...so respectful....the way she respect my guy and even us makes me wish to marry oh....despite that she is from rich family, she is so down to earth....also the one from poor family is also amazing oh I must be honest too....just the poor family background sha due to her dad died when they were young

God will help us sha....I know its never the making of some girls to be born poor....but just that our Nigerian ladies are wicked....once they have money they are wicked to guys....majority of them are, I come in contact with many of such prideful, disgusting single ladies and sometimes due to their useless attitudes and how they carry their stupid self, I just wish to treat every lady I see anywhere with the same manner, cos ordinarily, I am a very considerate and compassionate person, if u want to get me weak, work on my emotion....make me feel pity for you and I will become your mugu but if you act arrogant or like you know a lot, then you are in soup with me

CanadianNaija:


When he married is beside the point, you came to a public forum and said Hitler didn’t marry which is not true.

Point of correction also, he and his wife didn’t commit suicide the day of their wedding. Yes they were barely married for Upto 40hrs before they died, but it was not the same day.

You should probably brush up on your HItler history.

You win, abeg. I've not eaten to start dragging the difference between upto and less than as written on Wikipedia.