₦airaland Forum

Hy, sorry to bother you, I don't know if anyone of you here is peculiar with my situation. I tend to give up on people easily, like a minor misunderstanding with the person, I clear their memory from my head instantly and it never comes back.

My 5 yrs old gf broke up with me earlier this year and I acted like nothing happened, I didn't even reply her breakup WhatsApp message.

I have a friend today and next day, I quit them and it doesn't even bother me. Since I'm growing older, it's started to bother me and I'm deeply worried prior to my relationship life.

I met a girl last week and cos she couldn't reply me on time on WhatsApp, I deleted her number and everything. It happens to me every time.

Pls I don't think this is normal, I need help.

krissconnect:
Hy, sorry to bother you, I don't know if anyone of you here is peculiar with my situation. I tend to give up on people easily, like a minor misunderstanding with the person, I clear their memory from my head instantly and it never comes back. My 5 yrs old gf broke up with me earlier this year and I acted like nothing happened, I didn't even reply her breakup WhatsApp message. I have a friend today and next day, I quit them and it doesn't even bother me. Since I'm growing older, it's started to bother me and I'm deeply worried prior to my relationship life. I met a girl last week and cos she couldn't reply me on time on WhatsApp, I deleted her number and everything. It happens to me every time.

Pls I don't think this is normal, I need help.

@lalasticlala @mynd44 @tosyne2much @toks2008 dominique

Just learn to see the good sides of people and understand that you are not also perfect.

It's a matter of priorities.

Toks2008:
Just learn to see the good sides of people and understand that you are not also perfect.

this doesn't even occur to me, the idea of quitting them overshadows every other thinking

krissconnect:
this doesn't even occur to me, the idea of quitting them overshadows every other thinking

I was like you too until I trained myself to be very slow in making decisions cos things are not always the way they look.

krissconnect:
this doesn't even occur to me, the idea of quitting them overshadows every other thinking

Read this.

https://www.nairaland.com/3610005/before-fire-shots

It is a defence mechanism. You have learnt to cope with life disappointments and other unpleasant things in life by choosing not to deal with them in a confrontational way or process the emotional aspect that would be associated with such things instead you compartmentalise and behave as if it never occurred. This leaves you vulnerable and also makes people think you are callous and cold. It’s not easy to find a way around this because this is the way you cope with things unless you can afford to explore other ways via psychotherapy for example . I would not be so hard on myself if I was you.

I'm just like u, I don't think u should feel bad, life is too short to feel stressed out.

MissRaine69:
It is a defence mechanism. You have learnt to cope with life disappointments and other unpleasant things in life by choosing not to deal with them in a confrontational way or process the emotional aspect that would be associated with such things instead you compartmentalise and behave as if it never occurred. This leaves you vulnerable and also makes people think you are callous and cold. It’s not easy to find a way around this because this is the way you cope with things unless you can afford to explore other ways via psychotherapy for example . I would not be so hard on myself if I was you.

Spot on.

krissconnect:
Hy, sorry to bother you, I don't know if anyone of you here is peculiar with my situation. I tend to give up on people easily, like a minor misunderstanding with the person, I clear their memory from my head instantly and it never comes back. My 5 yrs old gf broke up with me earlier this year and I acted like nothing happened, I didn't even reply her breakup WhatsApp message. I have a friend today and next day, I quit them and it doesn't even bother me. Since I'm growing older, it's started to bother me and I'm deeply worried prior to my relationship life. I met a girl last week and cos she couldn't reply me on time on WhatsApp, I deleted her number and everything. It happens to me every time.

Pls I don't think this is normal, I need help.

@lalasticlala @mynd44 @tosyne2much @toks2008 dominique

lol almost same thing happens to me. If i chat a girl i just met and he reply isn’t cool. Instantly i del her number

Toks2008:
Read this.

https://www.nairaland.com/3610005/before-fire-shots

Thanks a lot

MissRaine69:
It is a defence mechanism. You have learnt to cope with life disappointments and other unpleasant things in life by choosing not to deal with them in a confrontational way or process the emotional aspect that would be associated with such things instead you compartmentalise and behave as if it never occurred. This leaves you vulnerable and also makes people think you are callous and cold. It’s not easy to find a way around this because this is the way you cope with things unless you can afford to explore other ways via psychotherapy for example . I would not be so hard on myself if I was you.

Sometimes, I do think I'm never gonna have friends, I'm never gonna keep friends. Other times I do feel I was created to be cold, stoned, and not depend on anyone

I am like you but B4 I forget people, I try to think of the value, benefits the person has impacted in my life, if there is none, I delete, relationships na another matter, once you're my ex, that's the end.

MissRaine69:
It is a defence mechanism. You have learnt to cope with life disappointments and other unpleasant things in life by choosing not to deal with them in a confrontational way or process the emotional aspect that would be associated with such things instead you compartmentalise and behave as if it never occurred. This leaves you vulnerable and also makes people think you are callous and cold. It’s not easy to find a way around this because this is the way you cope with things unless you can afford to explore other ways via psychotherapy for example . I would not be so hard on myself if I was you.

I love your analysis. I'm also in the same situation as the OP. Mine started this year after a betrayal from someone I call "blood". Gradually, I noticed that the part of me cared so much just fizzled away. It wasn't worth the efforts anymore.

How people exceed a year or two in a relationship still baffles me!
Anyway this your condition only reflects the low value you have for others.

You need prayers

Keep it up my dear you have high self esteem but don't allow pride to join
If not it will not favour you

Well! Maybe I'm like you but not as bad as you're because I don't delete their numbers just that they may never hear from me again.

Do away with "all I need is God " and "I don't need anybody to survive" theology

In 2018, I made sure I came down from. my high horse because I believe PRIDE is a contributing factor to this disorder. I became consciously humble to people I meet(not to the extent of tolerating silly opinions though)

Hey guy ,you have something some people are looking for but for the right reasons...


Forgetting someone quickly without any emotion attached is very good when the person don't worth you or left because he or she thinks you are not good enough,

But forgetting someone is bad when the person did not really hurt or wrong you....

So my take is, you forget those who wronged and disappoint you or those who will make your life miserable.... Don't do it to people who did not offend you

Ok

You have high self esteem, and that's cool.

No issue there at all. Ladies do that a lot. Guys should try and catch up and stop being beggy and all that shìt

Lol

Just learn to be patient and try not to react to what people do to you hastily


Only u can help u, since you one that u don't like d way u "quit people", try to stop yourself from doing it.

Do not delete numbers and try to keep in touch with those that have hurt your feelings when your anger subsides

Plus it seems u have anger issues

krissconnect:
Hy, sorry to bother you, I don't know if anyone of you here is peculiar with my situation. I tend to give up on people easily, like a minor misunderstanding with the person, I clear their memory from my head instantly and it never comes back.

My 5 yrs old gf broke up with me earlier this year and I acted like nothing happened, I didn't even reply her breakup WhatsApp message.

I have a friend today and next day, I quit them and it doesn't even bother me. Since I'm growing older, it's started to bother me and I'm deeply worried prior to my relationship life.

I met a girl last week and cos she couldn't reply me on time on WhatsApp, I deleted her number and everything. It happens to me every time.

Pls I don't think this is normal, I need help.

I can understand.

Most times issues like this can be caused due to past experience with people you really held onto.
They gave up on you when you needed them most and you unconsciously made up your mind not to have much expectations from people.

This makes you give up so easily on people most times because you've unconsciously believed like others they will leave one day. And being that you don't want to be seen as the victim, you give up at the slightest repetition of the pattern.

If above is the case... Then your fear is same as most people including myself. Trusting on or believing on people is a big risk... And it won't be easy to keep up with this but you can start with beginning to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Begin to convince yourself that sometimes it won't cost you anything to hang on for just a bit and give people a second chance.
I have more to write but i'll stop here for now

Mine is even worst, if I meet a girl and go through the stress of wooing her and she finally agrees to date me, immediately I loose interest. I stop calling or picking up her calls and start avoiding her, even though we have not had sex. It's really demonic

krissconnect:
Sometimes, I do think I'm never gonna have friends, I'm never gonna keep friends. Other times I do feel I was created to be cold, stoned, and not depend on anyone

You don't need friends, just bitches and money

I wish I was like the op....