₦airaland Forum

OdenKelechi:
I think it's clear that if they choose the person for you then they have already blessed the union. They can't pick someone for you and not bless the union, you digggg

The man chooses who he wants to marry and the parents blesses it.

It is very different from, "the parents chooses for the man and the parents blesses it". Of course, if the parents chooses, it means they have given their blessing.

However, you are speaking from a female point of view which, frankly, I do not subscribe to nor understand. What I know is, "he that findeth...", not "she that findeth..." or "her parents that chooseth", as you first alluded. And I am sorry that it did not work out well for the man your parents chose for you. That is entirely different.

My responses all along has been based on the man finding.

Enemyofpeace:
those laps of yours fit turn person to Biodun Fatoyinbo

You means those winkles lap and her old fingers...?
Evening market!
Cc
Faithscharms!

scaramucci:
Prince Harry, a Prince in line to the British throne married a black woman, a first in the British monarchy. That's love that is strong enough to break barriers and establish new grounds. Not this nonsense thing you're talking about. Love kii you dia.

Wen did Meghan becom blak?

Give me the girl number.....let me confirm something

BRATISLAVA:
Wen did Meghan becom blak?

When she came out of a black pussy.

scaramucci:
Prince Harry, a Prince in line to the British throne married a black woman, a first in the British monarchy. That's love that is strong enough to break barriers and establish new grounds. Not this nonsense thing you're talking about. Love kii you dia.

Stop with the insults.

Prince harry was only able to marry her because

1. She has a white father and a mixed raced mother. Their children will technically white.

2. The crown allowed it.

This occurred after the tumultuous marriage between Charles and Diana , Harry's parents.

Do you know how many past British princes and princess had to sacrifice their love before today?


Op's children, neices, nephews , father, mother, and grandchildren automatically become outcastes for his choice.

This isn't something that goes away in 5 years.

It's a terrible tradition.

alphaNomega:
Seriously the Osu don't have problem at all... They can marry OSU and non-osu.

It is the non-osu that have this challenge. Funny.

Just imagine that

Celestial777:
Osu caste system may never leave the Ibo communities this is the reason.
My friend wanted to marry a girl who happens to be nan OSU from unuagwo kindred. They were both medical practitioners.. the whole family of the man went against such Osuic union saying such marraige will only turn there own lineage to osu. The matter was brought to CWO meeting and the leader of the group there is nothing like osu again in this present day. Las las the relationship was dissolved. After a while the leader of cwo that said osu is nothing...her daughter found herself in similar situation. The man she want to get married to happen to be an osu. She was so confident that her mom will support this union since she already know her stand on it....las las the same woman reget it . She said her only daughter cant marry osu.
Rev Father now remind her what she said sometimes ago and also her position as the head of Catholic women organisation that she should lead by example...she said if its her position as cwo will make her pikin marry osuw she no do again...infact she later join winners chapel sef

That is the irony of osu in iboland

Make I no laughoo

This reminds me one prominent Igwe from a well known town in Anambra my state announced that there is nothing like OSU again in his Town. The elders told him that it is good but first one of his sons will first marry an OSU, then they will agree to the new law. The igwe no talk again.



People saying 21st century won't understand the guys dilemma. Like he said in Igbo culture one person don't go and said he is marrying.

Marriage is a very deep thing, it involves the mans umynna or kinsmen even before his father. It involves the mans mothers people likewise the same for the girl being married. That's why divorce is rare amongst those that follow this laws because the two couples will know its a very serious business. Example in my entire family father's side mothers side to even expended family, I have never heard of a case of divorce. Never

Pls dnt break up wit her yet.Go to d villagers n ask questions . It is very hard to find a good lady nowadays.Goodluck

Anyway to properly reply the op.

Following the Igbo custom, as you have already slept with the girl, you are already an Osu. Any other girl you sleep with or marry will be an Osu and all your children will be Osus.

Osu is a one chance system and you don enter.

Your hypocritical parents already know this but they will pretend as long as you don't officialise your osuness by marriage.

KraticKratus:
When she came out of a black pussy.

She nt blak. White fada

GidiWoodsMan:
IPOB, kings and queens of hypocrisy. They are on nairaland day and night claiming Osu caste system has been abolished.

Ibo people change your ways! Talking out of both sides of your mouth all the time

Don't mind those OSU lots ! Are they all not OSU ? I have saved this thread for the day one useless Igbo will claim he is not an OSU or that it has been abolished.

BRATISLAVA:
She nt blak. White fada

She green!

Go and watch the series, Carnival Row

Christopherrrr:
Nothing is absolutely wrong with me. Yes I have found love but the consequences are way far beyond me. It's not only gonna affect me alone but every other being from my father's loins. My parents will have a fair share of the consequences same is applicable to my siblings and every other person that involves themselves in a marital way with them. Honestly, I don't wish this for my worst enemy. Damning the consequences is easier said than done in this part of the world. To bad we ain't in the Western world where there is individualistic lifestyle.

Christopherrrr:
Hello Nairalanders, greetings. My name is Christopher (pseudonym) from the Eastern part of the country, Imo State to be precise. I'm a man in his early 30's. I have an active account here but I had to sign-up for another account for this thread.
Please pardon my grammatical errors and blunders. MOD please help move to FP.

Few months back, I fell in love with a pretty lady with a beautiful soul. She is 28. Though we are running a long distance relationship but the current in the communication link can power Kanji Dam. Lol!! We can be on calls for hours since the very day I met her. There is a fair share of the feelings, affections, respect and regard for each other. It's not one-sided. Though we have been opportune to be together thrice since the past 10months we met. I have had plans to go about engagement and marriage arrangements this coming festive period though I haven't made this known to her.

She gives me joy, she gives me happiness, she prays for me, she blesses me. There is a part of me she unraveled that I never believed existed. Above all, she gives me peace of mind.

Fast forward to last month, I invited her to a family event. I introduced her to my family as my girlfriend. Instantly everyone fell in love with her. My mum was allover her and she was indeed up and doing. She didn't disappoint me. Not pretence, she has a good home training.

When she left same day after the event, my mum proclaimed her love for her. She said, "Olee ebe isi choota udi nwa nke a?" (Where did you find this kinda girl from?). This made me drop a tear of joy thereafter because I've always prayed for such from her any day I introduce a lady to her. This also happens to be my first time.

Fast forward again to 2weeks later, my dad requested I confirm her community and kindred properly because we happen to come from the same LGA. I didn't even know they have started making inquiries for me even before I asked them to. I confirmed from her and informed my dad. Only for them (my parents) to break the news to me days later that we can't marry from their kindred because they are regarded as Out-Casts (Osu-Cast System). Right now, I can't contend my heartbreak. I'm so devastated and confused.

This has been a long-term tradition that has been for centuries that I don't think it's in my capabilities to do away with it or do otherwise.

My problem now is how do I break the news to her for a breakup because we can't continue like this.

I have never ceased to love her less since the very day I learnt of this. In fact, she gives me reasons to love, cherish and adore her every single day. I still do that to the brim and don't have regrets. Quote me, her type is rare. I love this girl with every breath I take. I just cry myself to sleep every night after our long calls.

Please advise a brother because I'm in a deep state of dilemma.

Young man if you really love that lady fight for her and marry her or you will live to regret it all your life. This is 21st century for Christ sake. So you and your family think you are better than her and her family simply because some stupid idiotic tradition labelled them as Osu. Wake up.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Ain't we all?

We all are

Jombom:
Pls provide me with her phone # if she's truly interested in a serious n sincere relationship that can lead to marriage. I am Yoruba Osu matter no concern me, in fact God punish the system self.

Ur funny. U want to make lemonade outta somebody's lime. Yoruba demon

OdenKelechi:
I'm clapping for you right now. You're a real G

Bruh that's in Enugu state, they don't really take those things serious like IMO state. Dem carry am for head like dada o

OROSUNBOLB:
Don't mind those OSU lots ! Are they all not OSU ? I have saved this thread for the day one useless Igbo will claim he is not an OSU or that it has been abolished.

As everybody is now sleeping with everybody, I think 90% of people in Nigeria are already Osus.

J111333:
I'm Anambra and I don't give a damn about any osu bullshit. Let me see a girl I like first, heavens can fall for all I care. If any Umunna person wants to stop the wedding because my girl is an outcast, let him board United Airlines and come over here. Nonsense

Ps: If that girl is as good as you claim especially the part of giving one peace of mind, give me her contact let me take her straight to momma.
Osu my black ass.

Lemme see it to confirm if it's really black.

amaniro:
Osu cast system many never leave IMO state. I've fixed that. Abia state don't do such. Only ndi imo carry am for head like Emmy

Abia We no get strength for that kain thing abeg

Jombom:
Pls provide me with her phone # if she's truly interested in a serious n sincere relationship that can lead to marriage. I am Yoruba Osu matter no concern me, in fact God punish the system self.

I could like this comment 1k times.

Out cast is actually two type:
1. The ones sacrificed to the gods to run errands
2. The ones bought to help in farmland and other related activities.
So which one is ur woman? The former is a no no but the later can be managed if you choose to let go family relationships and it's activities.
Life sometimes is so unfair.

OdenKelechi:
Abia We no get strength for that kain thing abeg

Yes oh we don't do such

Originalsly:
Hmmm...... don't be in a rush to break any news. Yes you alone can't break the system... but you can try to at least crack it by fighting back instead of just rolling over. You are 21st century generation.... do you or your mates support it? Some traditions just need to be dropped... this is one of them. Your parents are deep into it... you can't convince them. I guess they are Christians.... use the Bible to fight them...


He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing

Let them know you found a wife... and they agreed... were happy... so where does the Bible say at shouod rule her out? For your part.... show depression.... don't eat at home.... say you're not hungry. Don't involve in any conversations unless is about your heartbeat.... just be sitting and staring... and in a few days if no shifting.... then start with basic suicide talk... arrange phone convo with a friend..... let your parents overhear parts of the convo like .....what'sthe point of living if you can't be happy?....and later on.... don't worry...you don't understand... I can't continue like this... when I do what I am planning to do... you will understand.... but that will be too late.

No parent wants to lose their child to suicide... especially when they know they would be the ones responsible. That fear will make them really reconsider their position... and challenge the practice. Don't ever go down without putting up a fight....no fight no change.
After all.... you may get the blessings from your parents... period.... and it would have to be top secret.

Too much sense Bro.

Christopherrrr:
Hello Nairalanders, greetings. My name is Christopher (pseudonym) from the Eastern part of the country, Imo State to be precise. I'm a man in his early 30's. I have an active account here but I had to sign-up for another account for this thread.
Please pardon my grammatical errors and blunders. MOD please help move to FP.

Kindly introduce your gf to Jombom. What a man doesn't appreciate, there are a hundred other men who will.

henryobinna:
what will the government or NGO really fight?

there's nothing ot be fought here.

the government or NGO won't force his parents and entire community to attend his wedding neither will they force his parents to bless them, not even force the family to accept the girl.

The guy can go on and do court wedding and church wedding if his church is cool with his parents not partaking in it. But traditionally, he and his family (plus kids) are not recognized... The father can refuse to let him into his house or anything concerning him, so what will the government and NGO do in such case?

Some of you who are none Igbos or do not have knowledge of the thing will just be giving advice uppn advice on a subject you lack information of. The truth is nobody can stop him from marrying the girl if he so wishes... At the same time nobody can force others to accept/recognise he and his marriage(family as well)... I don't know how marriages are done in other parts of Nigeria but in Igbo land, it goes beyond the few hours of ceremonies...


By the way, the Osu thing has spiritual repercussions, strangely enough nobody made mention of it here.

I will only advise the OP to go ahead if he's a devoted Christian(because of the spiritual repercussions) and if he's ready to damn the social consequences(family, community etc etc)


Other wise, just do what you know is right. By the way, marrying her sef right now based on her good conduct and love does not determine what she'll turn into tomorrow... people change... love changes.


Good luck with whatever decision you decide to go with

That's my only fear, spiritual thingy

femzab:
Four years ago, I attended a wonderful marriage at ngwo, enugu. They are blessed with two kids now and enjoying their union. The guy family said no because the girl is an OSU (an outcast) and not a single member of the family attended the wedding. Today, the parent have accepted their daughter in law.
Bros it is your decision, let her go if she is not worth fighting for.
Infact for the fact that you are already thinking of the way to break up with her show that you don't deserve her love. Tell her and let her go.
After you will claim you are a Christian yet you are ruled by barbaric tradition.
How dare someone tell me I cannot marry who I want. They should be ready to lose me as a son.
Create history. Become a rally point for the change that must happen.

ND if dey didn't accept d DotA inlaw? U cnt use 1 case 2 genaralise. Dey didn't tell u d war b4 "accepting" if at all dey did so fully

This is barbaric!
What the so called Men of God are doing about it?
Instead of advocating for Biafra our Brothers should join their hands together to fight this insanity.

Had the same problem also.

Christopherrrr:
Hello Nairalanders, greetings. My name is Christopher (pseudonym) from the Eastern part of the country, Imo State to be precise. I'm a man in his early 30's. I have an active account here but I had to sign-up for another account for this thread.
Please pardon my grammatical errors and blunders. MOD please help move to FP.

Few months back, I fell in love with a pretty lady with a beautiful soul. She is 28. Though we are running a long distance relationship but the current in the communication link can power Kanji Dam. Lol!! We can be on calls for hours since the very day I met her. There is a fair share of the feelings, affections, respect and regard for each other. It's not one-sided. Though we have been opportune to be together thrice since the past 10months we met. I have had plans to go about engagement and marriage arrangements this coming festive period though I haven't made this known to her.

She gives me joy, she gives me happiness, she prays for me, she blesses me. There is a part of me she unraveled that I never believed existed. Above all, she gives me peace of mind.

Fast forward to last month, I invited her to a family event. I introduced her to my family as my girlfriend. Instantly everyone fell in love with her. My mum was allover her and she was indeed up and doing. She didn't disappoint me. Not pretence, she has a good home training.

When she left same day after the event, my mum proclaimed her love for her. She said, "Olee ebe isi choota udi nwa nke a?" (Where did you find this kinda girl from?). This made me drop a tear of joy thereafter because I've always prayed for such from her any day I introduce a lady to her. This also happens to be my first time.

Fast forward again to 2weeks later, my dad requested I confirm her community and kindred properly because we happen to come from the same LGA. I didn't even know they have started making inquiries for me even before I asked them to. I confirmed from her and informed my dad. Only for them (my parents) to break the news to me days later that we can't marry from their kindred because they are regarded as Out-Casts (Osu-Cast System). Right now, I can't contend my heartbreak. I'm so devastated and confused.

This has been a long-term tradition that has been for centuries that I don't think it's in my capabilities to do away with it or do otherwise.

My problem now is how do I break the news to her for a breakup because we can't continue like this.

I have never ceased to love her less since the very day I learnt of this. In fact, she gives me reasons to love, cherish and adore her every single day. I still do that to the brim and don't have regrets. Quote me, her type is rare. I love this girl with every breath I take. I just cry myself to sleep every night after our long calls.

Please advise a brother because I'm in a deep state of dilemma.

What then is the essence of Christianity if we can't marry freely from anywhere? Or are we just deceiving ourselves? These laws were made by our forefathers centuries ago who knew nothing about Christianity; most of them worshiped idols but now we serve the living God....... Should we still live to please our ancestors?

Celestial777:
Osu caste system may never leave the Ibo communities this is the reason.
My friend wanted to marry a girl who happens to be nan OSU from unuagwo kindred. They were both medical practitioners.. the whole family of the man went against such Osuic union saying such marraige will only turn there own lineage to osu. The matter was brought to CWO meeting and the leader of the group there is nothing like osu again in this present day. Las las the relationship was dissolved. After a while the leader of cwo that said osu is nothing...her daughter found herself in similar situation. The man she want to get married to happen to be an osu. She was so confident that her mom will support this union since she already know her stand on it....las las the same woman reget it . She said her only daughter cant marry osu.
Rev Father now remind her what she said sometimes ago and also her position as the head of Catholic women organisation that she should lead by example...she said if its her position as cwo will make her pikin marry osuw she no do again...infact she later join winners chapel sef

That is the irony of osu in iboland

tell me you are joking.
so funny.