BAJ007:
From all comments I've concluded there nothing wrong with marrying a Single mother all will be well except you're in Nigeria.

SBL28:


This!!! I have always wondered, the ease with Which these people move from one marriage to another is alarming.

oyatz:
I have come to the conclusion that people in this category don't have raised ego and their families/societies don't expect much from them.

A hair dresser apprentice, bread hawker, paraga/agbo seller, pepper soup/beer joint operators or food vendor sales girl can have 3 children for 3 different men without being properly married to anyone of these men.

MrBrownJay1:
- misplaced ego
- failed society mindset
- religious brainwashing
- stupidity

as for your friend who "supposedly" love the woman but is willing to HIDE her mother status, he is no better than the deluded people who look down on single mothers

Leoniine:


what do you mean @bolded?

And you based your thoughts on a lot of assumptions and "what its." So, it's very possible for them to be ruled out. Not apply.

You're leaving out a lot of factors. Things can go in the positive direction or otherwise. Don't fixate on things (likely) going bad. You cannot tell the relationship between the single mother and her ex. And neither can you judge the current relationship she's in...

lefulefu:
not my friend biko ..but a friend to my friend.u think i will still make friends with someone if i found out he"s dating a girl who previously dated a drug dealer or a cultist? .that a lady was dating a drug dealer is enough to tell me the type of lady she is nau.i hundred percent agree with u dat the guy is a mega fool because ladies who are used to dating thugs dont need a nice guy.u will only be nice to them at ur peril .the most that pained the guy was that he was the one paying for the lady"s son"s school fees in primary school and buying his books and never once did the lady appreciated his efforts.i just siddon put hand for jaw as i dey hear d story.

2buffagain:


Experience is the best builder of character.
E go sabi game by force.

2buffagain:


Your friend was a fool.

You have to mercilessly vet women before they even have a chance to enter and fvck with your life.
If a girl was dating a drug dealer, that tells me exactly what kind of girl she is based on her choice of man, and what mental blueprint she has been imprinted with.
A woman who is used to the drug dealer man life is not, in any way, suited for relationship with normal brothers.
Especially if she is the jobless type who has no means of legitimate income and was pampered all the way through.

A woman like that is used to being dominated and negotiating with hyper-aggressive types of men, so someone like that will not give a normal man peace. In their mind, one person needs to be aggressive, and if it isn't you its her...and she will hate you for that. E.g Women with that imprint need a man who will slap them if they step out of line and who won't be weak to them. They won't even report it to police (in the west where they worship women in court) if they get beaten, because they secretly like that shit. That is her comfort zone.

Women like that love punishment. And if you don't give it to her, she will give it to you.

Charleys:


We are all judged by our past.

If you graduated with a pass, no one cares if you had financial issues or trekked to school, or you had to spend time doing odd jobs so you could pay your fees, all they see is your result. We are all a product of our past. In fact you're where you are because of the decisions you've made in life.

SBL28:


This!!! I have always wondered, the ease with Which these people move from one marriage to another is alarming.

Leoniine:



...but you know single girls do all sort of things, too??

What is it with you guys and your unfounded fears? Like, are issues peculiar to single moms alone? Na dem carry all the problems for this world for head?

Young, childless girls don't cheat? Do worse and unthinkable things?

And this coming from guys who aren't faithful themselves...

Leoniine:


do you support abortion...?

fykes:
Women this days marry, give birth, and still go back to prostituting with the flimsy excuse of hardship.
Most of all the single leeching mothers u will see, esp those ones btwn 28 - 38 are just prostitutes who obviously know they can't practise while being with a man.
Saying u are in love with them is simply chasing fantasies... And that is if them never knack u otumokpo join

Timbers:
Are you richer than Jason Momoa who married Lisa Bonet when she already had children almost his age and yet you with you backward crappy mindset that prevailed in the times of cavemen comes here to say rubbish.


clearly goes to show that you are an achaic, primitive, backward, bullshit thinking ASSHOLE

Alexgeneration:
Dear Wankstar, I already knew you would jump out with your baseless argument and root out a spineless example from your deformed assh0le.



With your single digit intelligent quotient you're already assuming that having money is the same as having good self esteem and self confidence,perhaps that's why no good woman wants to have anything to do with your sorry ass except single mothers who will hang on to anything that looks like a man to cater for their bastards.



You can foam from every orifice on your body while trying to give excuses for settling with a second-hand commodity but remember that "ONLY LOSERS AND MEN WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM MARRY SINGLE MOTHERS".


Go train her bastards you beta male!!

lyndaway:
The last time I checked single mother is not a disease if you love her and you are sure she loves you too why not go ahead she didn't choose to be a single mother she just find her self in situation that is beyond her control if you love her go ahead

Charleys:


If I do not love the lady, YES

Charleys:


This is not about men but let me ask you, can you marry a man with a kid, knowing fully well your children will never inherit anything when they grow up because there are others.

Well I know women do this so I can't ask this question just forget it.

2buffagain:


Do, pray tell, enlighten us on what "positives" could come out of a situation like this.

luminouz:

I know the guy,I don't know you.

My comments were based on what I expected from a matured guy like him; making salient points without insults. You didn't read any insults from me,did you?

Could you please get a hold of your emotions? You're bleeding all over the place. If you're a single mom,the battle for self-worth or acceptance is not online,with faceless entities. Its in the real world and the value you add.

2buffagain:
Leoniine all that your talk is beans and showed you to be even more selfish.

After all the words I ask you this simple question, Can you go into heavy debt for a child that is not your own?

MrBrownJay1:


what you should actually tell us all IS: what is wrong about marrying a single mother?!?!?!?!




shouldnt you instead say that... because of Nigerian society/religion, many women are having unwanted children all over Nigeria?! unless a babe is a virgin, then NO woman is better than a single mother.... NONE. FACT!!!!




pls bros, stop showing your insecure low self esteem... its painful to read!



how can such union possibly work, when Nigerians/Africans think the way they do?! leave Africa and you will see how such r/ship are a success...its all down to the individuals, and sadly, most Nigerian and African have misplaced ego in the way of their common sense.

khiaa:


Being a virgin doesn't make one woman better than the next, single or not.

Charleys:


Deeeeep Inside you know you are wrong with this statement but I'll leave you to your imaginations.

A virgin is more valuable, infact if your husband never deflowered a girl and married you, he's more likely to deflower a virgin if he sees one i.e cheat on you.

I love stats. Where's the stat for this claim?

Leoniine:


But I'll answer your question. You considered women's answer, you didn't consider mine. Gave no room for individuality.

So, since we're making assumptions, I'll respond with assumptions of my own, too:
-You don't know if I'll want to have kids.
-You know zero thing about me or the kind of man I'll get married to (yes, even if he's a Naija man who came from a very traditional and cultural tribe in the most backward part of Nigeria. You just can never predict his behavior, because, enlightenment and education. I know that irresponsible, childish, controlled, weak-willed, etc boys tend to overshadow the ones who are men of their words, gives no f--k about society/religion and no room for misdemeanors from relatives to their wives.
-Like, is all of this about inheritance? The properties of the man? LMAO. And what if the man is as poor as a church rat? Have no properties to his name? Because me or my kids not inheriting anything automatically cancels out a childless man/baby daddy? He's 'undateable?' Or unmarriageable?

Please, tell me, is this the reality of every step-family in the world? Where's a rule written that properties of a man must inevitably go to his biological children? What if they die sometime later in the future? Or his first or second wife are both dead? You haven't seen people donating all of their wealth to charities?
-What if the man's kids are wayward? Run aways and joined cultism? Basically disowned or bad kids? Or what if they are multimillionaires themselves and our family is built on love and friendship?
-And, me, too, if I get get my own property nko? If I'm a big mama? And there's absolutely nothing wrong if I share them between my kids (from other marriages), his kids (from other marriages) and our kids (from our own marriage). Open up your mind. Ditto for the man, too. That's why I said not to judge our relationship + mindsets. A childless mother + childless father relationship is not the only perfect one. See, the problems you get from single moms are not from their kids or the fact that they've given birth – it's who they are. Their person.
-Do you also know that the man will love me so much to cross seven seas for me that he'll give me half of his wealth (because, AGAIN, you do not know our relationship and what it's established on. What we've been through. How I have impacted his Life, or added value to it. Maybe he's got some rare medical anomaly, and I was the one there for him. Take some sick, rich men and their nurses' relationships, for instance. Some men have made their staff rich. Just so many possibilities. Life is not linear, a one way street. And it's not black and white, either. And is even more nuanced, fragmented and complicated in shades farther from grey). The man can put me in charge, to share his properties (you don't know my Integrity or character yet again). (Hope you're seeing this 2buffagain ).

So if we are in love, as in a true-friendship-of-the-soulmate kind, why should the man not have me or my kids access to his properties?

7thLemonLOVER:
Nigerians have a funny way of presenting issues. Is being a single mother a disease

Charleys:


Single mothers shouldn't blackmail men to marry them, they should give single ladies a chance because they have taken their shot and it didn't work out for them.

lefulefu:
u know i have always said that naija guys and naija babes fit each other because both sides are not faithful .as the guy dey carry other babes for one corner so also his own girlfriend get other side boyfriends and sugar daddies that take care of her needs.she also has emergency boyfriend that takes care of konji wen d tin don nack her .but single moms in naija are in a class of their own.i am not saying all single moms are bad but guy need to protect imsef before one angry jealous babydadddy stab am with broken bottle for back .

'Least, with your funny comments and obsession over women's yansh lol you're not judgmental and are open-minded. Unlike the lot of men here. And I respect that.

You see things in a balanced way, and don't isolate men. You're not biased and hateful towards single moms.

In fact, the whole of Nigeria is a peculiar study on its own. Na only for us plenty things dey dey different.

Charleys:


Deeeeep Inside you know you are wrong with this statement but I'll leave you to your imaginations.

A virgin is more valuable, infact if your husband never deflowered a girl and married you, he's more likely to deflower a virgin if he sees one i.e cheat on you.

Tallesty1:
Linda couldn't marry when she doesn't have a child e come be now that she is a single mom. Genevieve is a single mom and she is single with all her wealth and achievements, Tiwa too and the best she could get with all her money is fvcking a boy.


Guy, you're just trying to blackmail other guys without making sense.

Apart from the fact that most single mothers(who aren't unfortunate widows) are promiscuous, there are a million and one other reasons to stay away from them.


But before I go down to one or maybe two of these reason, I will like to point out something to some of you. You especially.


Single mothers should stop this always failing attempt to blackmail men to marry them.
For every single mother out there, there's at least 20 ladies that have not had a child who are still single.

If your being single is a result of having a child then explain these other ladies who are also single even though they have never had a child? You go online to claim that being a single parent is bliss and the only way and then come offline to wail that you can't find a husband? Who takes such an unstable person serious.

You make it seem like they're single because they're single mothers but truth is they're single because they have issues just like other single ladies out there. Women generally have issues, matter of fact, anything that has tire, engine or boobs have issues but boobs that have fed a child have complicated issues.


Now down to the reasons.

Which you have not experienced.


Women have undying love for things that give them pain.

High heels give them pain but they wear it anyways. Skimpy dresses makes them uncomfortable, but they can't do without it. You see them cling to shitholes that treat them like trash and then make you their best friend so you can console them when they are treated like thrash. It's illogical to us but they seem to understand it.

A lot of the guys that put these ladies in the family way are assholes so your woman, because of this their inexplicable love for things that give them pain will once in a while go back to this guy.

Women who suffered terribly in the hands of an ex lover see their child as a consolation price. For this reason, this child will come first before the one she will have for you.

I know you don't understand this because you've not experienced anything like that.



Picture this family.


A single father married a single mother.

By your logic, they're birds of the same feather and similar experience so they are going make a one happy family.

But that's not the case.

The union produced a kid but these kid was starved of her parents love. The father gives 70% of his love to the other child and the mother gives 90% of her love to the other child. The child they have together manage whatever is left.


Single mothers of today cling on the child without any reasonable source of income, so the moment you marry them, the child becomes your responsibility.

So before you jump on marrying a single lady just to prove a useless point, answer this question.


How will you feel seeing your wife give most of her love and attention to a kid she had for another man and you helped her to raise while your own kids get just whatever is left of her love? If you are okay with it then please by all means, marry a single mother and leave us to our choice.

I can't do it and neither you nor any single mom can blackmail me to do it.

And finally, blaming everything that happens in Africa on religion is becoming very lame.


Please note that all single mothers are not the same. There are many many good single mothers who are just unfortunate with men but finding a wife is difficult and I am not going to make it more difficult by including single mothers.