₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
Sister computergeek, to be sincerely honest...the below was my list when I was younger and still had stars in my eyes.

Tall
Dark
Handsome
Stinkingly rich
Muscular
Dick_ must be the size of orobo Pepsi bottle (make me walk like a duck, honey)
More intelligent than I am.
A lover of arts
A man on fire for God.

I read romance novels briefly in my teens but I abandoned them because I could not connect with them. Why does the hero always have to be handsome? Is love meant for only handsome people? I would read M&B, and then after reading look round and still see the same strong, sun hardened faces of my Nigerian brothers who didn't have the faintest idea about chivalry. Chivalry is dead. Bleh. Romance novels fill your head with nonsense.


And then I grew up! With maturity comes a more realistic worldview. Many times God doesn't give us want we want but what we need. He works in mysterious ways and he knows what will benefit us, even when we are crying and tearing our hair and demanding...may, begging for the perfect man. He doesn't give us the perfect man; he gives us the man who is perfect for us.

Nature strives for balance, which is why opposites attract. That's why introverts attract extroverts. Garrulous people attract taciturn people, hot tempered folks cope best with cool as ice people. That's why you must always factor the Maker of All Creation itself when choosing a partner, and ultimately, allow Him to select for you. TELL HIM THAT YOU ARE GIVING HIM PERMISSION TO LET HIS PERFECT WILL BE DONE.


With maturity my list evolved to-

God fearing. A man on fire for God.

Comfortable (who stinking rich epp? ) I have a well paying job, Mr Right must have one too.

Intelligent. No compromise on that one. God help you your kids take after your less than intelligent partner. You will spend all your money on private tutors.

Must be a tiger in za oza room. The size of his jabulani didn't seem so important anymore, as long as it worked well and could make me purrrrr like a satisfied pussy...cat

One who complemented me in every way amd would take me as his lover, companion and best friend.

That definitely made more sense than big dicked, muscular fellows who would probably end up losing all those toned muscles, replacing them with Uber flabs, and then become unattractive to me in middle age.

*sighs*

Ishilove:
If you say so

I mean to say that you are way too good. I looked at your list n I can't find my self but you have a strong personality. I like a woman with a strong personality n that means that you are still my crush on NL.... hahahahaha!

Take care!

Alright Ishilove, Computergeek and Smeag01 thanks for your input. I will try to see things from a new perspective and at the same time take it slow. Thank you for your contributions.

Preshy561:
Coming to Ibadan to drink wine soon

Lol I left ib years ago And it's not my hometown either

BTW your wine will have to pause o , I can't come and go and die.

My list changed just a lil bit.
Because of my addiction to romance novels years ago, I wanted man with the following qualities:
Tall
Very handsome
Able bodied
Intelligent
Famous and a leader
Romantic (buy me flowers, surprised me with gifts, blah blah blah)
Must be good in bed
An extrovert


But now I just want a man that is:
Tall (no compromise on this one o cus I'm short)
Intelligent ( my kids need it)
Facially Ok
Slim
Responsible nd Respectful
Hardworking
Financially ok
Not too religious or traditional
Good in bed
An introvert like me

Perhaps the list will still evolve or not, time will tell

Ariza:
Lol I left ib years ago And it's not my hometown either

BTW your wine will have to pause o , I can't come and go and die.

Lol. Thought you stay there sef.

I read Ishi advise, I think it's nice.
Take your time babe, things will fall pleasantly for you.

computergeek:
That's not what she's asking. She says she's not used to trying to strike up relationships with people she was "introduced to". It's easier to move to the next level from friendship. The financial stability part is just a fact in a case.

That fact in the case is enough to deceive any Nigerian lady . So I repeat babe is just trying to deceive herself. She is already in the relationship.

UyaiIncomparabl:
I can't say yet. I'm still growing, but I know it will evolve in time to come. For better or for worse is what I'm not sure about.

What's very consequential to me right now is a man who's highly intelligent (I'm very sapiosexual). It trips me to my feet when a man can engage me in an intelligent discourse.

* Have a great sense of responsibility (this isn't dependent on how rich he is. A man could be rich and be disinterested in your affairs).

* Love God. He should have a good relationship with God. I can't stress on this too much.

* Homely. Down to earth. Humble. Spiritual (not religious). Teachable. Reserved.

Above all, he MUST be my best friend.

You that is very toxic want all this qualities from a man abi,mcheww a man with all this qualities will run away from you and your toxicity

henriettttta:
I just hope I see a catholic guy who has money biko

I am a Catholic guy and a Teacher in the UK. I am comfortable and full of Heavenly Joy.
Now, what about you?

peepydelano:
You that is very toxic want all this qualities from a man abi,mcheww a man with all this qualities will run away from you and your toxicity

How do you know I'm toxic? You are judging me from afar or by my posts?

Coming of age= I admired young cute athletic white man. Now = I want to get married to a very cute white guy and have kids.

That's what changed- KIDS

Lemme not even type it.

A bunch lot

computergeek, from how you replied a married man like me on a thread, I just shook my head.

The way they were calling lalasticla up and down, I just knew this thing would make front page, even though it's not supposed to.

Kendumazy:
This thread will be interesting. Let me park here.

Shut up up!
Are you a female?

Ishilove:
With maturity my list evolved to-

God fearing. A man on fire for God.

Comfortable (who stinking rich epp? ) I have a well paying job, Mr Right must have one too.

Intelligent. No compromise on that one. God help you your kids take after your less than intelligent partner. You will spend all your money on private tutors.

Must be a tiger in za oza room. The size of his jabulani didn't seem so important anymore, as long as it worked well and could make me purrrrr like a satisfied pussy...cat

One who complemented me in every way amd would take me as his lover, companion and best friend.

That definitely made more sense than big dicked, muscular fellows who would probably end up losing all those toned muscles, replacing them with Uber flabs, and then become unattractive to me in middle age.

This specific reasons is why Women under 25 shouldn't be taken seriously because of the unrealistic expectations they set for themselves.
It is only Nairaland that I see people shaming women in their late 20s. Look, women in this age bracket are very mature & sweet because they now face reality & give you peace.

See the way "A man on fire for God." just jumped to be your number 1. The same couldn't be said years ago. Those holy looking brothers who approach you speaking in tongues would have been ignored & you would have gone for the bad guy "Future Vandrous".

I keep saying, Women need to date a "Future" in quote, so they can value a Russel Wilson in their lives.

ibkayee:
I had this weird obsession with him having natural bags under his eyes like this lool, like this was the standard and there was absolutely no settling for less

I see absolutely nothing wrong with zat


I’ve always wanted a gal that looks like Beyoncé or atleast has her attitude, real attitude not exactly her stage attitude and it’s still same for me I guess. Where is she tho? Lol

Dulcinea:
But now I just want a man that is:
Tall (no compromise on this one o cus I'm short)

Shorty. Short Man Woman Devil

pocohantas:
Lol, I never had those high expectations. I was just okay with love. I always loved them sensible, I have a very soft spot for engineers and a softer one for people in IT, good-looking, respectful...etc, nothing extraordinary.

I wasn't into romantic books, neither did I watch such movies or even listen to love songs. Found them predictable.

Now that I am older, my physical and character expectations in a man is very much the same- but the financial part is a whole lot strategic. Don't tell me you love me or have potentials, Jesus loves me too. So, I need to see how he is going to compliment me. I also need him to have some money. We would meet halfway.

Every man requires a level of submission/respect from his wife. If I am going to be doing that, it has to be worth it.

The days of "what are you wearing?" and "shey you will not come and know my place" is long gone.

Poco or Poco Lee Wic lain burnt plantain be dis nah??
Me wey like plantain like anything u just burn snap am post here deris god Ohh
Anyway if u like pretend say u no sabi cook we men go still marry u like dat

truthsayer009:
This specific reasons is why Women under 25 shouldn't be taken seriously because of the unrealistic expectations they set for themselves.
It is only Nairaland that I see people shaming women in their late 20s. Look, women in this age bracket are very mature & sweet because they now face reality & give you peace.

See the way "A man on fire for God." just jumped to be your number 1. The same couldn't be said years ago. Those holy looking brothers who approach you speaking in tongues would have been ignored & you would have gone for the bad guy "Future Vandrous".

I keep saying, Women need to date a "Future" in quote, so they can value a Russel Wilson in their lives.

With age comes sense.

Ishilove:
Sister computergeek, to be sincerely honest...the below was my list when I was younger and still had stars in my eyes.

Tall
Dark
Handsome
Stinkingly rich
Muscular
Dick_ must be the size of orobo Pepsi bottle (make me walk like a duck, honey)
More intelligent than I am.
A lover of arts
A man on fire for God.

I read romance novels briefly in my teens but I abandoned them because I could not connect with them. Why does the hero always have to be handsome? Is love meant for only handsome people? I would read M&B, and then after reading look round and still see the same strong, sun hardened faces of my Nigerian brothers who didn't have the faintest idea about chivalry. Chivalry is dead. Bleh. Romance novels fill your head with nonsense.


And then I grew up! With maturity comes a more realistic worldview. Many times God doesn't give us want we want but what we need. He works in mysterious ways and he knows what will benefit us, even when we are crying and tearing our hair and demanding...may, begging for the perfect man. He doesn't give us the perfect man; he gives us the man who is perfect for us.

Nature strives for balance, which is why opposites attract. That's why introverts attract extroverts. Garrulous people attract taciturn people, hot tempered folks cope best with cool as ice people. That's why you must always factor the Maker of All Creation itself when choosing a partner, and ultimately, allow Him to select for you. TELL HIM THAT YOU ARE GIVING HIM PERMISSION TO LET HIS PERFECT WILL BE DONE.


With maturity my list evolved to-

God fearing. A man on fire for God.

Comfortable (who stinking rich epp? ) I have a well paying job, Mr Right must have one too.

Intelligent. No compromise on that one. God help you your kids take after your less than intelligent partner. You will spend all your money on private tutors.

Must be a tiger in za oza room. The size of his jabulani didn't seem so important anymore, as long as it worked well and could make me purrrrr like a satisfied pussy...cat

One who complemented me in every way amd would take me as his lover, companion and best friend.

That definitely made more sense than big dicked, muscular fellows who would probably end up losing all those toned muscles, replacing them with Uber flabs, and then become unattractive to me in middle age.

Your comment made me laugh out loud especially the sun hardened guys part. No blame us,na hustle we dey.
Your other points are deliciously well grounded and logical. Romance bores me.mom had a full library filled with M&B and Harlequin novels. I read them to improve my English while very young, that's all. The concept of such stereotypical love is way off reality and even while around 9 years or so,I already knew that. I just want to have peace in any marriage I go into,if I ever decide to marry. Being a human is hard enough.


N.B:
You always had a very matured outlook on NL,something so rare around here. You are one of the few I look out for their comments.

Peace!!!

pocohantas:
Lol, I never had those high expectations. I was just okay with love. I always loved them sensible, I have a very soft spot for engineers and a softer one for people in IT, good-looking, respectful...etc, nothing extraordinary.

I wasn't into romantic books, neither did I watch such movies or even listen to love songs. Found them predictable.

Now that I am older, my physical and character expectations in a man is very much the same- but the financial part is a whole lot strategic. Don't tell me you love me or have potentials, Jesus loves me too. So, I need to see how he is going to compliment me. I also need him to have some money. We would meet halfway.

Every man requires a level of submission/respect from his wife. If I am going to be doing that, it has to be worth it.

The days of "what are you wearing?" and "shey you will not come and know my place" is long gone.

na so!....

ibkayee:
I had this weird obsession with him having natural bags under his eyes like this lool, like this was the standard and there was absolutely no settling for less

weird..

UyaiIncomparabl:
I can't say yet. I'm still growing, but I know it will evolve in time to come. For better or for worse is what I'm not sure about.

What's very consequential to me right now is a man who's highly intelligent (I'm very sapiosexual). It trips me to my feet when a man can engage me in an intelligent discourse.

* Have a great sense of responsibility (this isn't dependent on how rich he is. A man could be rich and be disinterested in your affairs).

* Love God. He should have a good relationship with God. I can't stress on this too much.

* Homely. Down to earth. Humble. Spiritual (not religious). Teachable. Reserved.

Above all, he MUST be my best friend.

I feel you sister.
Intelligence in a woman is very bae,nothing bores me than asking common questions and receiving blank looks.

Your list is ok. Men who measure up aren't that many. I hope you find yours.

Peace!!!

I need to find the book I wrote them down, i think I had he must look like Jesus in the list. No wonder I'm still single

computergeek:
Ladies, let's gist.

If you ask the average 16-20-year-old to tell you what she wants in a man, it's not uncommon to hear her launch into a list of Messiah-like qualities.

It's funny to us now, but we all had similar lists at some point (some still do, and please enjoy it while it lasts).

My list scared me so much that sometimes, I felt I was going to remain single forever. Even when I prayed at night, I'd take so long reciting everything on my list so that God would know who he was sending my way. My friends and I spent a lot of time back then reading romance novels and the way the authors described the heroes fvcked up our imaginations .

I wanted:

-Tall
-Italian half-caste with very yellow skin
-Gorgeous shoulder-length jet-black hair
- Eight packs
-Catholic like me
-Tech savvy like me
- Extremely intelligent
-Smiling and cheerful
- stinkingly rich
-God-fearing (ever lady's list features this, even the atheists )
- Cool-tempered
- light brown eyes
- full red lips (lol, I was literally dreaming for a man doll)
-Amazing in za oza room

And all the other regular stuff like loving, romantic, funny, caring, gentle, kind, and so on.

Yimnu, no be like that ooo... By the time I hit 21 - 22, me was not doing again . I just wanted someone with whom I shared a strong attraction. A decent man who had a good head on his shoulders, a steady source of income and ambition.

When my list became reasonable and meaningful, I guess I found one who checked out . Guess what? I married that "big head".

He had some of the qualities on my first list shaa, like he's Catholic and tech savvy, tall and intelligent. But uncle is not Italian, he has brown skin and he does not like smiling .

**********************

It's different when a woman decides that she does not want to get married. Marriage is not for everyone and society needs to evolve to a time when it stops shaming single ladies.

However, some who may really want to be married are getting held up by the unrealistic qualities they seek in a life partner. It's your life, sure, but only Jesus is perfect Nne. Chase attraction and compatibility and quit looking for perfection. This doesn't mean you should settle for the first shit-head that comes your way or over-lowering your standards, but let's try not to chase a reflection of our 8-year-old imaginations.

So ladies, what changed about your own list? Even if you're not married yet, give us your evolved status .
...
Pocohantas, Ishilove and Bukatyne - The three musketeers . Come and get the party started here. My babes from the Diary section, Pateffy, Tiffany07, MelaninQueen, Henriettttta, Luckygurl, Hermionegranger, Bloomingbud, Peacefulhome, y'all get in here!

but I know u tasted Robinhood,Joker,RoboCop even with Choky sef

Here to learn

Ishilove:
Sister computergeek, to be sincerely honest...the below was my list when I was younger and still had stars in my eyes.

Tall
Dark
Handsome
Stinkingly rich
Muscular
Dick_ must be the size of orobo Pepsi bottle (make me walk like a duck, honey)
More intelligent than I am.
A lover of arts
A man on fire for God.

I read romance novels briefly in my teens but I abandoned them because I could not connect with them. Why does the hero always have to be handsome? Is love meant for only handsome people? I would read M&B, and then after reading look round and still see the same strong, sun hardened faces of my Nigerian brothers who didn't have the faintest idea about chivalry. Chivalry is dead. Bleh. Romance novels fill your head with nonsense.


And then I grew up! With maturity comes a more realistic worldview. Many times God doesn't give us want we want but what we need. He works in mysterious ways and he knows what will benefit us, even when we are crying and tearing our hair and demanding...may, begging for the perfect man. He doesn't give us the perfect man; he gives us the man who is perfect for us.

Nature strives for balance, which is why opposites attract. That's why introverts attract extroverts. Garrulous people attract taciturn people, hot tempered folks cope best with cool as ice people. That's why you must always factor the Maker of All Creation itself when choosing a partner, and ultimately, allow Him to select for you. TELL HIM THAT YOU ARE GIVING HIM PERMISSION TO LET HIS PERFECT WILL BE DONE.


With maturity my list evolved to-

God fearing. A man on fire for God.

Comfortable (who stinking rich epp? ) I have a well paying job, Mr Right must have one too.

Intelligent. No compromise on that one. God help you your kids take after your less than intelligent partner. You will spend all your money on private tutors.

Must be a tiger in za oza room. The size of his jabulani didn't seem so important anymore, as long as it worked well and could make me purrrrr like a satisfied pussy...cat

One who complemented me in every way amd would take me as his lover, companion and best friend.

That definitely made more sense than big dicked, muscular fellows who would probably end up losing all those toned muscles, replacing them with Uber flabs, and then become unattractive to me in middle age.

It is safe to say u ladies had a lot of fantasies at younger stages...

All am reading here is summed up as imaginations..

pocohantas:
Lol, I never had those high expectations. I was just okay with love. I always loved them sensible, I have a very soft spot for engineers and a softer one for people in IT, good-looking, respectful...etc, nothing extraordinary.

I wasn't into romantic books, neither did I watch such movies or even listen to love songs. Found them predictable.

Now that I am older, my physical and character expectations in a man is very much the same- but the financial part is a whole lot strategic. Don't tell me you love me or have potentials, Jesus loves me too. So, I need to see how he is going to compliment me. I also need him to have some money. We would meet halfway.

Every man requires a level of submission/respect from his wife. If I am going to be doing that, it has to be worth it.

The days of "what are you wearing?" and "shey you will not come and know my place" is long gone.

I was looking forward to your submission on this thread. I'm not an engineer though and I'm not into IT either. I'm just a simple guy with a progressive mind.

truthsayer009:
Shorty. Short Man Woman Devil

Lol.... I'm not complaining fish head