Papasmal:
So sad that some ladies of nowadays are desperate and trying to bite more than they can chew....

If as a man you can't set boundaries you are a weak man....if you can't accommodate my dear relations who doesn't pose threat to our marriage,then there's no reason getting married to me the first place,


after my mama sell all rapper to cater for me,I carried ponpon n shovel to do odd jobs with my brother to get knowledge n acquire skills....one agaracha monkey babe will now try turn them to my enemy God forbid...

I thank God for blessing me with a good wife though..We are all one big family,made me to love her more.

Do you know the truth of this matter?
No lady can successfully separate her in-laws from her home without the help of her husband.

No women can separate you from your own people except you want it to be so.

I don't blame women that stop their in-laws from visiting or staying with her in her husband's house because I know that it is what their husbands want.

But their husbands are smart pretenders who put their wives at the front, and putting the blame on their wives to escape the wrath of their families.

Free the women! They are not the problem.
Their husbands is!!

Meeyankee:
People like Bukatyne will not like this thread.you married to a weak man who will allowed his family to visit him because he has taken one over used lady from the street that is not even a Virgin. You guys should take not of this lady with this moniker Bukatyne she is a very bad wicked lady.who doesn’t allow her in-laws to visit their brother because of her own selfish interest.

@Meeyankee,

Is there any reason you are mentioning my moniker incessantly considering the fact you don't even understand my point?

Since we are never going to get married to each other, isn't it best we respect individual opinions on this matter?

Thank you in advance.

Modified :
I actually read your post when another user mentioned me.

I initially saw the multiple mentions and knowing your previous stance typed the above.

If you lack proper upbringing to insult people's spouses, I do not and will not tolerate such.

I will appreciate you never try such with me again.

Thank you.

CosmicJames:


Do you know the truth of this matter?
No lady can successfully separate her in-laws from her home without the help of her husband.

No women can separate you from your own people except you want it to be so.

I don't blame women that stop their in-laws from visiting or staying with her in her husband's house because I know that it is what their husbands want.

But their husbands are smart pretenders who put their wives at the front putting the blame on their wives to escape the wrath of their families.

Free the women! They are not the problem.
Their husbands is!!

.. Thank you for this. I keep saying it that the man is to be blamed not the woman.

no relative is staying in my house for more than two weeks. let them go to their own house l hate Disturbance

bukatyne:


@Meeyankee,

Is there any reason you are mentioning my moniker incessantly considering the fact you don't even understand my point?

Since we are never going to get married to each other, isn't it best we respect individual opinions on this matter?

Thank you in advance.

I am not happy with that your ideology for real I want you to change your mindset.please it not too big to ask for. Your opinion is different from the fact I am telling the fact.

The house is not MY HOUSE but OUR HOUSE in the first place.
Wish you could truly define what you mean by DISTURBANCE. Now my relations or yours are now Disturbance to your Life.
Really!!! Disturbance?
When they were making me be the one you called your own, they were not disturbing and now they would never be DISTURBANCE.

vicben27:
no relative is staying in my house for more than two weeks. let them go to their own house l hate Disturbance

AmTruth:
The house is not MY HOUSE but OUR HOUSE in the first place.
Wish you could truly define what you mean by DISTURBANCE. Now my relations or yours are now Disturbance to your Life.
Really!!! Disturbance?
When they were making me be the one you called your own, they were not disturbing and now they would never be DISTURBANCE.

You are really making a big deal out of this and it’s wrong. What did the Bible say about a man leaving his whole family and cleaving to his wife? It was clearly stated there and the woman has the right over her home unless you don’t see her as your wife truly. If your wife decided today that your brothers should be off, you are to comply because even our Father Abraham complied to Sarah when she made such request, so who are you not to do same?

The problem isn’t even accommodating relatives, but accommodating relatives who only cause more problems in your marriage. As newly wedded couples, it has always been strictly advised not to accommodate anyone until few years, as both still need to get to know each other more. I’d rather have a very beautiful distance relationship with my in-laws than live with them and let the self respect disappear over Maggie issues? It is just common sense, and unless the situation is a life threatening one, it is really not advisable as they might even bang your wife if possible lol even if they are ladies, which is even worse, your marriage might not experience peace for the first few years! If your wife is okay with it, fine...let them in, as some people usually don’t mind but if she isn’t, you shouldn’t impose this decision on her. For instance some ladies like to walk around naked in the house, but having relatives around would obviously hinder such, then she has to be fully dressed all the time. Anyways, it is the couple’s decision to make and what works for A might not work for B.

As 4 me oh, B4 marriage my family comes first. But after marriage, my wife comes first. Nonetheless, my relations can live wit me as long as dey dont disrespect my wife

Wow this getting interesting!!!

I love your objectivity, as in the case of Abraham you could understand that these did not happen in the immediate of their marriage.
No man would certainly allow his relations to stay with him for ever, they are all groomed to leave at a required time. even you doing that is not helping them to majure.
But you can't just come into my life and the next thing is that I must separate my relations from our marriage.
Even if she is my sister she would certainly leave one day to marry too. So no one would certainly stay forever, so why the unnecessary restrictions.
And the scriptural interpretation of man leaving his house doesn't mean depriving your people from your home.
The Church only gave a caution for early marriages for those who didn't define issues very well during their relationship and the church never advise that couples should not allow their relations to stay with them.
Check it very well you would see that marriages that doesn't allow relations closer to them always find themselves Dying in Silence when the inevitable challenges of life begins to display.
Truth is that Women should understand that when it gets tough these ones would be your backbone. Because you would still need them whether you like it or not.

BecaciaBarbie:

You are really making a big deal out of this and it’s wrong. What did the Bible say about a man leaving his whole family and cleaving to his wife? It was clearly stated there and the woman has the right over her home unless you don’t see her as your wife truly. If your wife decided today that your brothers should be off, you are to comply because even our Father Abraham complied to Sarah when she made such request, so who are you not to do same?

The problem isn’t even accommodating relatives, but accommodating relatives who only cause more problems in your marriage. As newly wedded couples, it has always been strictly advised not to accommodate anyone until few years, as both still need to get to know each other more. I’d rather have a very beautiful distance relationship with my in-laws than live with them and let the self respect disappear over Maggie issues? It is just common sense, and unless the situation is a life threatening one, it is really not advisable as they might even bang your wife if possible lol even if they are ladies, which is even worse, your marriage might not experience peace for the first few years! If your wife is okay with it, fine...let them in, as some people usually don’t mind but if she isn’t, you shouldn’t impose this decision on her. For instance some ladies like to walk around naked in the house, but having relatives around would obviously hinder such, then she has to be fully dressed all the time. Anyways, it is the couple’s decision to make and what works for A might not work for B.

In Africa, when you marry someone, you marry their family, too.

So naw if I use my own money marry wife finish, use my money rent houz, use my money dey feed d wife, and my own momsy or siblings one con stay with ha lovely son/bro, my wife go begin give attitude?? Omo na one na once she go reach gate with ha bags for ha behind. Una dey wyn me ni? If any woman wan enjoy me wella, mk she do proper for where ma family dey. Life nor hard, na we make am hard!

Waterview:
Stick to anything related to asslicking CR7 but not intelligent discussions like this.

Although you're entitled to your own opinion but I'll still have to tackle you on this........

I see no reason why my lovely extended family (my sweet mum, lovely siblings and most importantly my Grandma) shouldn't stay with me.

In this era of conditional love ( people only get married because of what they'll get, especially women), one shouldn't ignore those who stood by him during the trying times for a wife ( probably a non virgin who decided to settle down after exploring all sexual fantasies).

I will always treat my wife and extended family equally.

The era of true love is over.

Another Messi ass licker changes his monicker

Real men marry women that will obey for life.

Lol is it by force to marry ?

Always one issue or the other. You will just realize that your life was more peaceful without all these marital trivia matters .

Hmm ok . Keep commenting oo. I am reading and learning the more reason to focus on my path jeje.

Na wa.


Life is complicated than u think.


Of course they must come but them staying will cause more problem for u than the love u want to share.

AmTruth:
I love your objectivity, as in the case of Abraham you could understand that these did not happen in the immediate of their marriage.
No man would certainly allow his relations to stay with him for ever, they are all groomed to leave at a required time. even you doing that is not helping them to majure.
But you can't just come into my life and the next thing is that I must separate my relations from our marriage.
Even if she is my sister she would certainly leave one day to marry too. So no one would certainly stay forever, so why the unnecessary restrictions.
And the scriptural interpretation of man leaving his house doesn't mean depriving your people from your home.
The Church only gave a caution for early marriages for those who didn't define issues very well during their relationship and the church never advise that couples should not allow their relations to stay with them.
Check it very well you would see that marriages that doesn't allow relations closer to them always find themselves Dying in Silence when the inevitable challenges of life begins to display.
Truth is that Women should understand that when it gets tough these ones would be your backbone. Because you would still need them whether you like it or not.

Maybe if the men decide to be good husbands no matter what happens, the wives would not need their in-laws to be their backbone?

What about you reverse the situation? Your wife also has relatives also.

Would you mind them staying with you also

AmTruth:
The house is not MY HOUSE but OUR HOUSE in the first place.
Wish you could truly define what you mean by DISTURBANCE. Now my relations or yours are now Disturbance to your Life.
Really!!! Disturbance?
When they were making me be the one you called your own, they were not disturbing and now they would never be DISTURBANCE.

marriage should be enjoyed by the Man and his wife, am not a fan of prolonged staying l've never leaved with any family member who is married, if their staying won't affect my peace it's good and fine l hate drama

Well spoken. This is one reason while I might end up marrying from my tribe. In my tribe, accommodating your relatives and siblings once in a while is a norm.

All through my University days, I lived with my uncle. It was hard for myself and my relatives when he got married to a lady from a different tribe. She felt it wasn't right. She felt it shouldn't be so, because her people(Efik, ibibio, anang) frown at it. At a point, she made living in the house a night mare for me. I blame my father who thinks there was no need renting a house for me when his brother was living in same city (poverty mentality or what?). I would work hard to see that my kids don't have to stay with anyone. Not at all. The experience in the hands of wives ain't funny.

I hate women who detest their husband's relatives.

To think this said lady pretended and did all sort, but how she changed from 0 to 100 after her place in the home had been cemented and guaranteed, supprised me.
After graduating in 2015, haven't stepped my foot there again. I might visit soon though.

AmTruth:
For me I think women always get it wrong in saying no one should visit them when they are married, especially husband's relative.

As a married man I don't think after the support some of our relations gave to us before marriage should lead us not accepting them to our home because we're married. This sends a wrong signal about a wife and people should take note of this.

My wife has been very comfortable allowing my younger ones staying with us because during our courtship she knows I don't joke with my relations especially my parents and younger ones and I defined it to my relations also that no one jokes with my wife.

So in the house, everyone knows his boundaries And we are all Happy and my wife confesses that too. But that doesn't mean that sometimes misunderstanding doesn't come No!

Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives. So meeting you as a wife in a later path of my life should make me deny their access to my home would not be easily possible.

Summit to your husband's decision on the home staying matter, if you want to have a happy married life.

And then the wives relatives can come and stay also?? I hope that will equally be allowed?

Meeyankee:
People like Bukatyne will not like this thread.you married to a weak man who will allowed his family to visit him because he has taken one over used lady from the street that is not even a Virgin. You guys should take not of this lady with this moniker Bukatyne she is a very bad wicked lady.who doesn’t allow her in-laws to visit their brother because of her own selfish interest.

Bukatyne u see your life...

Not easy to bear

After pushing will barrow in the market, my younger brothers sold pure water tire, my sisters Hawks bread, they were all gathering the money together for my school fees as the first son..........but we thank God today, we can now build houses and afford to buy a car..........one woman will now say those people cannot visit or stay as long as they pleased in my house..........dear wife, na you go commot go your papa house las las, it's our father's that actually marry wife.........what we have now are family breaker's, where were you when my mum was grounding pepper in the market to feed me and my sibling's.

They should visit of course, but they should not constitute themselves into a nuisance.

Leave when the ovation is loudest and don't overstay your welcome.

That way, they'll look forward to your next visit.

Instead of buying him gifts on Valentine’s Day, just give him the money let him pay the people he’s owing.

Very childish, how did this get to FP? as long as my own relatives can freely walk in and out of our house, my husband's can too but you don't expect me to love your family more than mine

See sensible post. "Nobody joke with my wife, my wife should understand the importance of my parents and siblings"
But awon feminist crew will come out to attack the op

AmTruth:
For me I think women always get it wrong in saying no one should visit them when they are married, especially husband's relative.

As a married man I don't think after the support some of our relations gave to us before marriage should lead us not accepting them to our home because we're married. This sends a wrong signal about a wife and people should take note of this.

My wife has been very comfortable allowing my younger ones staying with us because during our courtship she knows I don't joke with my relations especially my parents and younger ones and I defined it to my relations also that no one jokes with my wife.

So in the house, everyone knows his boundaries And we are all Happy and my wife confesses that too. But that doesn't mean that sometimes misunderstanding doesn't come No!

Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives. So meeting you as a wife in a later path of my life should make me deny their access to my home would not be easily possible.

Summit to your husband's decision on the home staying matter, if you want to have a happy married life.

visit is not an issue but why will your relative wanna start living with you and your wife? dont they have their own housese? the real question is why will anybody wanna marry from a family whose relative will wanna move into their new marriage apartmnts with dem. even me cant allow my own relative stay more than few days in my house with my wife talkless of living with us, as what? visit and bounce please....private home.

ITbomb:
No one, not even my brother and sister should put hand in my pot of soup and take out meat, it is courtesy and family ethics.
For someone like me brought up with this mentality, I can't even stand it be you who

You're a sensible man, don't mind those kids that's why many will be poisoned all in the name of trusting family wholeheartedly

Th

AmTruth:
For me I think women always get it wrong in saying no one should visit them when they are married, especially husband's relative.

As a married man I don't think after the support some of our relations gave to us before marriage should lead us not accepting them to our home because we're married. This sends a wrong signal about a wife and people should take note of this.

My wife has been very comfortable allowing my younger ones staying with us because during our courtship she knows I don't joke with my relations especially my parents and younger ones and I defined it to my relations also that no one jokes with my wife.

So in the house, everyone knows his boundaries And we are all Happy and my wife confesses that too. But that doesn't mean that sometimes misunderstanding doesn't come No!

Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives. So meeting you as a wife in a later path of my life should make me deny their access to my home would not be easily possible.

Summit to your husband's decision on the home staying matter, if you want to have a happy married life.

Op! You just sound like me gan.. some ladies fail to understand that their man who is doing well and comfortable now was once at the mercy of other people especially relatives. How can you just meet me in less than five years and now want to chase everybody away from me in the name of one stupid love?