bukatyne:


Spill it out.

nah so I dey live my life oo
Why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free?
These girls are hooked on bad boys with money and tbh, I have no problems with that.
Make we just dey Bleep ourselves dey go.
When you tire, you go leave my house

xrayj:

Hahahaha @bold

Paxie55:

Please, shut up.
You don't just see someone on the net and draw out a baseless conclusion. I'm even into boring guys more. I have my man well reserved. All I'm saying is that she's on this habit of always telling women how to live their lives for nitwits and dumb idiots as if her life is perfect.

sassysure:
Some guys are naturally boring.
Has nothing to do with the stuffs written here.

Seems u haven't meet one bukytane

Jeez!

At least, some guys don't go to club. Infact, most guys don't go to club, smoke, drink or do yahoo yet they are not boring to be with.

Some chatty kinda girls love such guys and such guys are attracted to chatty, all over the place guys.

Nature has a way of balancing these things.
Compatibility first.

Personally, any day my man took me to a marriage seminar is the day I'm ending that relationship.
These are signs to look out for in relationships.
Those so called good signs.
Our marriage is already a failure though it's yet to start
That guy is a born control freak.

Designerdollars:

These girls are hooked on bad boys with money

COVIK19:

So as you dey like this so, you like Owambe?

xrayj:

Thank u my brother
Don't mind that Romanoff of a senseless thing!
You didn't see female bestie, it is male bestie u want? It obviously means there are certain qualities lacking in her boyfriend or hubby she wants to complement with d male bestie. This is a good thread by op. Male & female bestie nonsense shouldn't be encourage, it doesn't usually end well.

xrayj:
So many women have lost good & caring guys, because of this boring sh!t & they end up with one monster who treat them like trash!
@ bukatyne nice one!

bukatyne:


Thank you.

LadyGCrueDKilaB:
Are you married? Allow women chase the type of men they want. Not everyone wants that regular, mediocre and everyday life. If they want a man into the fast life, allow them to explore. Who has time for reducing standards just to be perceived in a certain way? By the way who says marriage especially in Nigeria should be aspired towards? Mtschew.

bukatyne:


If you remember that my OP is already talking to people in a relationship, half of your worries is addressed.

For them to date meant there is a bit of compatibility.

This thread is also to enlighten young ladies (18yrs - 21/22yrs) that a boring guy is different from a principled guy.

Are some guys boring? Oh yes! and I can't stand such.

Also, it is a misconception to think everyone who is social has to drink, smoke or party. It is a lie of the devil.

BestAccessories:


You're right on this one.

Hope the demographic listened because at that age she is innocent, pure and yet to be seriously damaged.

Also at that age, she really doesn't understand herself so the people she associate with at this stage in her life is gonna define who she becomes later.

At this age terribly damaged products (ladies and men) would really be seeking to take her innocence away.

Also I assumed at that age, she need to take time to understand herself, have role models who motivate her and peer group that are working together towards achieving same goal.

The evil at this age is peer groups, peer pressure, friends and what she consumed by reading, listening and watching.

Romanoff:
I was okay with all you said until I saw the male bestie part and then, some of your comments made it look like a woman can't have a life just cause she's hoping to get married.

A woman can have a male bestie and it will be a pure friendship. Any man who can't handle a woman who has a male beat friend should just leave her alone and go for one who doesn't.

Why should a woman throw her friendship away because of relationship that might end tomorrow.

Instead of controlling the crowd she moves with, why not look around for a woman who flows with your kind of crowd?

This kind of thinking makes it looks like a man should change a woman to suit him.

How about you look for woman that suits you in the first place?

The happening guy verse boring guy part. See ehn, every woman has what she wants in a man. Some like the happening guys and some just want a quiet life.

I've seen these fast life girls marry a boring guy and still want to club why husband is home. I know one sef that left her baby at home while her husband travelled so she could go clubbing.

Just have the right qualities you want in a partner and date with a purpose. My two cents.

Romanoff:
I was okay with all you said until I saw the male bestie part and then, some of your comments made it look like a woman can't have a life just cause she's hoping to get married.

A woman can have a male bestie and it will be a pure friendship. Any man who can't handle a woman who has a male beat friend should just leave her alone and go for one who doesn't.

Why should a woman throw her friendship away because of relationship that might end tomorrow.

Instead of controlling the crowd she moves with, why not look around for a woman who flows with your kind of crowd?

This kind of thinking makes it looks like a man should change a woman to suit him.

How about you look for woman that suits you in the first place?

The happening guy verse boring guy part. See ehn, every woman has what she wants in a man. Some like the happening guys and some just want a quiet life.

I've seen these fast life girls marry a boring guy and still want to club why husband is home. I know one sef that left her baby at home while her husband travelled so she could go clubbing.

Just have the right qualities you want in a partner and date with a purpose. My two cents.

Paxie55:
This op is always telling women how to live their lives through subjugation as her only means. When i saw this thread and the moniker, I've already envisaged the type of balderdash i was about to read.

Ariza:
In as much as I acknowledge the importance Compromise in relationships i.e giving/letting go of some things to make the relationship more enjoyable for your partner, I would never subscribe to changing your being ( who you are) to please anyone (Man or Woman) . If you are a traditional Man, find a traditional Woman (vise versa) If you are a Modern Man go for a Modern Woman (vice versa). Picking a partner who has contrary views of life with the hope of changing him or her is not only foolishness but selfishness as well.
The truth is, there comes a time/stage in a relationship or marriage where the will to impress, endure and satisfy the other partner is strained, and the only thing that keeps the relationship is Compatibility. There comes a time when that spontaneous partner becomes predictable and all you can fall back on to keep the relationship going are the things you share and enjoy doing together until that phase is passed. Never make the mistake of getting involved with someone whose ethical leanings isn't aligned with yours.Thats a disaster waiting to happen.


On Male bestie, lol It's a No for me. Your partner should be your bestie. If you find someone else apart from your partner occupying the space of someone who you share your important moments with, talk to about everything, listen to you and give you shoulders to cry on, protect you , advise you and makes you laugh then you should question the essence of your relationship with that partner. Besties take important places in our lives, they are the ones we share our joy, sorrow, happy times, downs and ups with. Now who is more worthy of this position than our Partners whom we claim to love? If a guy has a female as his bestie, he needs no girlfriend. If a lady has a guy as her bestie she needs no boyfriend because they have their partners in their besties already.


That said, I believe the point op is trying to make is Patience. Don't be too haste to judge a person Since humans are dynamic in nature, it is important to try to understand a person's perspective however it isn't compulsory to always act accordingly to that perspective.

Designerdollars:
Women are inferior to men ofcourse they should subjugate themselves.
Even the Bible said so.
Wives respect your husband

Romanoff:


Birds of a feather obviously flock together. The fact that you're unable to contribute without insults shows you lack the ability to communicate in a civil manner.

Ariza:
So basically the only thing that worries the Nigerian guys on Male bestie is the " Sex" that may likely happen not the emotional detachment, psychological replacement or being subjected to second place in the hearts of their Partners. It's just the "Sex"




Interesting.

Kekereekun123:
This op and toks should have married. They think they are wise and have manual for relationships and marriage. Crap

weaker vessel.

bukatyne:


Nigerian Bible abi?

bukatyne:


An you still read it and typed.

Must be idleness

bukatyne:


Trust me, I know some guys are very boring, unimaginative and can't think outside the box. I hear some guys talk and I wonder.

@Bold: very true.

For them to be in a relationship, there is some sort of compatibility already.

Everyone has their likes and dislikes.

its either boys don Bleep and dump this one
Or men don't want her cause she is ugly

Paxie55:

Unlike You, I don't sleep and wake with the thoughts of how to be a slave to stupid men who make you feel less of yourself. Or how to live a life filled with validations from social misfits.

Paxie55:

Please, shut up.
You don't just see someone on the net and draw out a baseless conclusion. I'm even into boring guys more. I have my man well reserved. All I'm saying is that she's on this habit of always telling women how to live their lives for nitwits and dumb idiots as if her life is perfect.

bukatyne:

Aren't they supposed to be compatible to an extent to start in the first place?

Odunharry:

If only young girls you are preaching to will read and learn.
We all know this days it's all about fun fun for majority of the youths, and you and I know what "Fun" means to them.

For the making your Boo/Bae your bestie I totally subscribe it.
I don't fancy and will n never fancy the idea of making someone of the opposite sex your bestie.
Biko what are those things people do or discuss with their bestie that they can't with their Partner?

Truly, it's hard for a lady and a guy to be just friend. I will like ladies to do this Test by posting either on Facebook or WhatsApp that THEY ARE Hot AND NEEDS A D**K right now and watch how 90% of the guys will react.
The truth is if given the chance, an average guy will lay her female friends and make love with everyone one of them.

The thought alone of that bestie of the opposite sex isn't right to me. I used to see nothing wrong with it, but truth is its not right.

bukatyne:
Good evening my people, how quarantine?

This thread is primarily for young ladies in their late teens to early twenties who are in serious relationships.

Disclaimer:
1. This thread is suited for ladies who want to date/sleep with as little men as possible before marriage. If you are in a relationship for a 'good' or 'fun' time, you don't need this thread as you will naturally gravitate towards men/boys who can provide the 'excitement.'

2. This thread is not claiming that serious minded guys/men are not 'exciting.' They can and do provide excitement in their own way.

3. I am a firm believer of young girls finding a young husband material as quickly as possible. I call it investing your youth in a husband material. I am not a fan of huge age gaps; I rather the young catch the young. . Bar exceptions, I not think building a career and a relationship/marriage cannot go hand in hand.

To the thread proper:

I see a number of young ladies call a serious young man 'boring' because he is not into the fast life. He is more grounded, focused on things that betters the future of you too such as education, mental capacity, emotional development etc. He is that guy that would invite you for a career fair or marriage seminar. He doesn't care about the 'get together' happening in the house of the Yahoo guy that just hammered nor is he interested in clubbing everyday.

He is not seeking for a girl he just wants to sleep with; he has seen you as a wife material he wants to groom to be the best version of yourself. He is the guy that would rather help you with your coursework.

He is seen as boring because he is principled and expects same from you. He is not going to give you drama and would not expect drama from you either. Cheating, collecting contacts from guys, double-dating, hanging out with questionable friends, claiming bestie with guys etc. He expects loyalty and faithfulness. He is not a 'I am just passing or marking my own' guy so he needs you really invested in the relationship. This characteristic of principle is sometimes mistaken for 'strictness' or 'rigidity.'

He would most likely not be the fun seeking type. This doesn't mean you both cannot create the type of entertainment suited to you. He might suggest going for a book fair or GT Bank Food Fair over visiting the new club opening. If you want to dance, get music and dance together. His priorities would also be different; he would pick an future enhancing activity over fluff if he has to choose.

And nope, he is not going to accept the version of yourself you bring to the table just like that. He will encourage and require you to finetune it. He might point out some stuffs about you he doesn't like; your dressing, makeup, hair do, carriage, attitude to classes, interests,friends etc. He is not the anything goes guy because he is invested in your future and naturally wants to protect his interests.

He would be protective of you so don't be surprised if he doesn't want you mixing with a particular crowd or wearing certain clothes or conducting yourself in a certain way. He is not trying to stifle you or keep you from enjoying life; he just wants his woman to be the best version of herself for him.

Hmmmmmmm, sex; he might have enough self-control to abstain, he might not. If it happens, the sex is going to be with care. Even if he wants to be a ruff rider, it would still be with the consciousness that this is my baby till the end. The way you use aso ebi for one time is different from the way you use lace kept at the bottom of the box.


Jara:
Any man who is fine with everything you do or doesn't have a contrary opinion is either with you for the short term therefore not willing to invest in you OR pretending and waiting till after marriage to show his true colours.

Hence the popular 'men change in marriage'.

I hope this would be very useful to a baby girl about to 'end' that relationship because the bobo is boring or 'not a happening guy.'

Sixfeetbelle:


Glad we agree on one thing: compatibility.

If he being principled means he detest you going to parties and clubs, shun him, or else he will clip you. If he being principled means he'd rather you hangout with mutual friends than go to clubs, he's not boring. Wife him. My two cents.

Paxie55:

Unlike You, I don't sleep and wake with the thoughts of how to be a slave to stupid men who make you feel less of yourself. Or how to live a life filled with validations from social misfits.

I can bet my balls that paxie girl must be ugly asf

bukatyne:


For you to post what you search on youtube means you need a great deal of validation.

Sweetheart, I don't do slavery, stupid men or social mistfits.

If out of all the men in this world you are only attracted to stupid men or social misfits, it is on you baby. Check what attracts these people to you and change.

If you do slavery, build your self esteem.

sassysure:

Of course, there are men like that, but some women love them naturally while most are with them for the mulah performance and doo

Some babes are nothing to write home about yet u see brilliant and charming guys dying to be with them.

Like u said it all boil down to likes and dislikes

I know this dude, I wouldn't date his type but I love having him as a friend. He hardly talk. Don't even know what to say most times But is a brilliant guy academically.
U raise your voice, he will bolt.
We were wondering how he will get laid but he do have his ways
And now successfully married.
He said talking gives him headache
Can u imagine that?
He will rather u do the talking so he surrounds himself with people that talk too much, drag him to outing etc.
The wife is a parrot