Nnaabros:
If you grew up in a family without any issues then count yourself very lucky.

HisSexcellency:
This is simple, it is a natural law known as automaton conformity. You're drawn to that which you feel comfortable with, it is an involuntary action. Same reason intelligent students in school gets drawn to one another, while the less intelligent ones do likewise.
Same reason it's easier for a smoker to make friend with another smoker in a new environment. Why a poor man easily makes friends with a fellow poor man and the rich with the rich.
Op, it is your personality that attracts them. It will require effort and determination on your part to break this attraction.
Work on this mentality of settling with what you feel comfortable with, and watch how things will change.

Tripitaka:
Have you dated a girl who is a product of incest?
Have you dated a girl whose brother raped the mother for ritual purposes?
Have you dated a girl who grew up to find out that her actual dad is the family driver, but the pregnancy was passed on to the "willing dad"?
Have you dated a girl whose own father has been sexually abusing?
Have you dated a girl whose mother's nude pictures are all over the internet because she was caught shoplifting?

I believe your answer would be "No", as you would have included these in your narrative.

The families in your narrative can hardly be classed as "troubled" as I would like to think that your experiences are the peculiarities of your average Nigerian family. The average Nigerian family where diabolism and fetishism is real; where cohabitation is in vogue because the government outlaws abortion and your parents would insist on you living with the man who impregnated you even if he has no interest in marrying you; where young widows are still oppressed by their late husband's relatives; where poverty and unemployment is the norm hence a 40yr old unemployed man is nothing out of the ordinary.

The women you have been with are not from troubled families, at least in my opinion.

creolehunt:
I just thought about the girls I've been with and noticed a certain trend. This isn't even About the girls themselves who are excellent human beings, but their families.

First girl I dated revealed to me that the dad died of suspected poisoning and her family were chased out of the family house. Her eldest brother is an area boy while it seems things aren't working out for her other siblings.
The next ones dad was late too, one of her sisters is separated from her husband while the first son of nearly 40 has nothing doing.
The other ones history is that her dad is late too. The eldest sister is cohabiting with a man. They have 2 kids already without being married. Her other sisters bride price was just paid after having 3 kids with a man.
For the other one, her dad is late too, died quite early. The eldest sister is in her 30s and unmarried. Her other sister has 3kids for a man who she isn't married to and now they are separated. Things aren't just working for her people.
The one I just met recently told me her parents are late. Lost both of them to suspected poisoning within the space of one year.

I keep wondering if tgis is some sort of coincidence.

Glink2018:


You better pick one of them and make lemonade out of her lemon life...but be careful. Let her know the boundary. You are a man, you are not the savior of world. So she shouldn't be expecting much from you

HisSexcellency:
This is simple, it is a natural law known as automaton conformity. You're drawn to that which you feel comfortable with, it is an involuntary action. Same reason intelligent students in school gets drawn to one another, while the less intelligent ones do likewise.
Same reason it's easier for a smoker to make friend with another smoker in a new environment. Why a poor man easily makes friends with a fellow poor man and the rich with the rich.
Op, it is your personality that attracts them. It will require effort and determination on your part to break this attraction.

Amotolongbo:
Every Minister of God has his own calling.
Maybe that is your own calling

Fidelismaria:


What can I say?
You attract what you attract
Lol

creolehunt:


Inasmuch as your comment is sensible, I must point out that i was not aware of their story until we got really involved. So there was no way I could have been drawn to their history.

HisSexcellency:
This is simple, it is a natural law known as automaton conformity. You're drawn to that which you feel comfortable with, it is an involuntary action. Same reason intelligent students in school gets drawn to one another, while the less intelligent ones do likewise.
Same reason it's easier for a smoker to make friend with another smoker in a new environment. Why a poor man easily makes friends with a fellow poor man and the rich with the rich.
Op, it is your personality that attracts them. It will require effort and determination on your part to break this attraction.
Work on this mentality of settling with what you feel comfortable with, and watch how things will change.