₦airaland Forum

Its obvious you love your fiancee very much. A part of you is telling you to forgive her while another part is telling you otherwise. Now lets looki at it from this angles.....if her friend hadn't told you, you would never have found out.
Her friend told you they are only 3 guys because those are the once she knows about, what if they are more?
In the future if you can't provide a pretty expensive gadget for her, do you know if she would sleep with one rich man to get it?
How are you sure those gold jewelries and other stuffs of hers were not gotten this way?
We all are sinners and so we shouldn't judge but there are situations like this that makes one think twice.

At the end of the day, its your choice to make because you are the one to live with her not us. If you think your heart is strong enough to accommodate future cheatings and pleadings, then go ahead but then you never can tell. She may truly change for the better. Still no one can advice you better than yourself because you know deep in your heart that she may do it again. Goodluck!

You don't necessarily have to cut out the hairs. They are there for the purpose of filtering the air we inhale, that is why they get dirty. A clean handkerchief is all you need to clean your nose probably at the end of the day but for those who work in ac offices, drive ac cars and live in ac houses, once in 2days is enough cos you don't get to inhale much dusty air. Too much cleaning and clipping of nose hairs is not healthy as you will end up removing all the normal flora's in your nose.

I have heard of stories like this and in most cases it always end negatively.
What i will say is that you should pray to your God and let him direct you but it only works with faith. If you don't trust yourself capable of having such faith and carrying on with the relationship then use your head and ask yourself if it was the girl in this situation, what would she do? Do you think she would risk her life?

Please i did not open this thread just to start a tribal war. Probably i shouldn't have included the tribes. For that i am sorry for getting y'all worked up.
This isn't about me painting myself a saint, i am far from being a saint. All i needed to know was just responses to my questions but why i included tribe is that the week we did the bride price stuff, he told me that men from his community take wives to be slaves and he quite proved it. (contributed to the seperation cos i got tired of being a slave to my husband, i was always lonely and tired)
Anyway everything is in the hands of God now. He who sees and knows the heart of man knows if i have lied against ex husband. "I wonder why i will even do that".
Like some of you said, there is more to the story. I don tire to talk and besides so many people think am lying. Everything na my fault but i don learn my lesson. PRAY TO GOD FOR DIRECTION, WATCH BEFORE I LEAP, HUMILITY (i have always been humble sha but the pride of ex husband is bigger than all the mountains on earth put together) etc etc. Thank you all soooo much. God bless.

....but i went because a fragile marriage like ours was already shaky, iving apart fulltime wil cause more problem&most importantly i really wanted 2 do my best 2make d marriage work.Durin d months i stayed alone in Lagos,i added a tiny bit of weight.A month later after Abuja i discovered i was pregnant & this was around the time i lost my granddad. So oneday i jokingly told ex husband that my baby when born may look like my granddad because i took in when he died.......and so he screamed “NO WONDER U ARE FAT! I SUSPECTED YOU ARE PREGNANT WHEN YOU CAME FROM LAGOS BECAUSE YOU ADDED WEIGHT! THAT CHILD IN YOUR WOMB IS A BASTARD! BLA BLA BLA. He even went ahead to invite his eldest sister from Lagos so that she would examine my body well and tell him if i was far gone. She told him my pregnancy was just in its early stages and even advised him to take proper care of me. But ex husband had other plans. Infact this period was the toughest for me as i was really alone. It was too early to go for scan then and there was no 3D/4D yet in Abuja. He knew in his heart that the pregnancy was his but ........well he was just being his natural self......didnt want to be responsible. Like i said earlier he has totally neglected his first son from his ex fiancee.
It was because i insisted he must give me money to register for antenatal that he physically abused me. I would have used my money but i hadnt started working then. Hope you now understand?
- This same man once told me in Lagos that i was tryin too hard 2make our marriage work, he told me 2 free myself &live a “FREESTYLE“ life.
- i saved his no with My husband in my phone, one day he told me 2change d name from my husband 2his name.I asked y, he said nothing.
-he didnt ask for divorce 3weeks after marriage.He said its an option if either of us gets tired. Lets face facts pls, if u are starting a marriage with your spouse whom you supposedly luv at the very begining u tell yourselves that you can both divorce at will; there is no way d both of u
will put in ur best.

A big thanks to all nairalanders......u guys rock.U ve put a smile on my face &made me realise that all hope is nt lost.
Am lucky 2 ve an understanding mum & siblings who r helping out with my child one way or another. Presently am still enjoying my ‘omugwu‘ & when the time is right i will get back to work (job).
Just to clear come issues about y he refused to pay antental bill. Ex husband has always loved to care for himself alone. when we were dating he said it himself that he knows he is extremely selfish but said he would change once he is married and well i believed him just like he said he will stop smoking marijuana but didnt. Yes, am to blame for what happened to me infact i deserve to be flogged 6 lashes of cain because i saw these traits in him but i foolishly played the ‘he will change once we are married card‘.
He once asked me to bake space cakes/harsh brownies (marijuana cake) for him and said if i start baking them, he will quit smoking it. Y‘all wont believe i almost did it,got recipes and procedures from the net but i had a serious thought along the line. I asked myself what if he blabs about it to his friends (cos he does that alot) and somehow somehow NDLEA gets wind of it and they come,search the house and finds the baked goods! I will not only be arrested, i will loose my practising license!Education wasted! Som1 wil say lots of people do it &de havent been caught.......hmmnn every bodi no get the same luck o.
Did i cheat on him? We were based in Lagos before he was transferred to Abuja. We lived apart for 3months and we both agreed for me to join him on a particular month after i resign from work. Just 2days to the day i was to travel down with the few properties i had,he suddenly called and said i shouldnt come over to Abuja again! I thot he was joking but warned me more seriously and cut off the phone. He said we should live apart & c once in a while.On the d day, since he already sent me the address of the house in abuja before, i moved to Abuja and he really wasnt happy to see me....

A big thanks to all nairalanders......u guys rock.U ve put a smile on my face &made me realise that all hope is nt lost.
Am lucky 2 ve an understanding mum & siblings who r helping out with my child one way or another. Presently am still enjoying my ‘omugwu‘ & when the time is right i will get back to work (job).
Just to clear come issues about y he refused to pay antental bill. Ex husband has always loved to care for himself alone. when we were dating he said it himself that he knows he is extremely selfish but said he would change once he is married and well i believed him just like he said he will stop smoking marijuana but didnt. Yes, am to blame for what happened to me infact i deserve to be flogged 6 lashes of cain because i saw these traits in him but i foolishly played the ‘he will change once we are married card‘.
He once asked me to bake space cakes/harsh brownies (marijuana cake) for him and said if i start baking them, he will quit smoking it. Y‘all wont believe i almost did it,got recipes and procedures from the net but i had a serious thought along the line. I asked myself what if he blabs about it to his friends (cos he does that alot) and somehow somehow NDLEA gets wind of it and they come,search the house and finds the baked goods! I will not only be arrested, i will loose my practising license!Education wasted! Som1 wil say lots of people do it &de havent been caught.......hmmnn every bodi no get the same luck o.
Did i cheat on him? We were based in Lagos before he was transferred to Abuja. We lived apart for 3months and we both agreed for me to join him on a particular month after i resign from work. Just 2days to the day i was to travel down with the few properties i had,he suddenly called and said i shouldnt come over to Abuja again! I thot he was joking but warned me more seriously and cut off the phone. He said we should live apart & c once in a while.On the d day, since he already sent me the address of the house in abuja before, i moved to Abuja and he really wasnt happy to see me....

To the person (whoever u r) wishing me badluck,i reject it&d same is ur portion in Jesus name. ThankGod u are not my GOD &my destiny is nt in ur hands.
To all of u who have prayed for me and wished me well, i claim ur prayers & good wishes and wish y‘all d same.
Now like i said in my last post, d story is too long. Infact its been since last month i wanted to say this but when i start writing, before i get to the middle of the story, i will discover that its already too long and it will be difficult for people to read that is why i decided to put up the short part and ask the most important question because as far as am concern, i deserve to be loved, i have lots to give to my spouse and same should be my portion. Being loved by my spouse is my right. Love is beautiful and i have seen true pure love from my son.
Terminating the pregnancy like someone said wasnt an option. Even though being free may seem better than being single and saddled with a child but look at the other side of it; it was after 6months of living together that i got pregnant. Initially i thot the reason he maltreated me was because i hadnt gotten pregnant that is why i became surprised that he got worse when i got pregnant.
We dated for just 3months and i will be real honest i wasnt really desperate but the pressure from my mum was too much.
My parents knew about the marriage, it wasnt a Lagos marriage as some have said. He met my people and the proper thing was done in my family home in the village. My parents did not agree to the seperation but, mum made efforts to bring us back together but my mind was totally made up. I agree with those who said that if we were both of the same tribe, we wouldnt have seperated as both families would have made considerable efforts and distance would have also played a major role since both families may probably live in the same state.
Yes like i said earlier, i earned more than him but pls believe me when i say i respected him 2d core.

@ Meristem, u are quite a funny dude or are u like him? Y will i come to nairaland, concoct a fake story just to attract sympathy? Will ur sympathy add any good thing to my life?
I opened up here freely because of its anonymous nature and wanted to know what life is like out there for single mum‘s. I dont have any friend or relative who is a single mother. Anyway u are entitled to ur opinion but pls note one thing: i will be a stupid lady to lie against the ex husband. Do u know what its like to be married to a man who refuses to pray with you? I will beg and beg but he will tell me that i should pray on my own that salvation is personnal! Yet he is a christian.

@loafboy, i later found out its his nature. He has a 4yr old son from his ex fiancee. When we were living together, i remember he never visited the child nor showed interest to see him despite pleas from me. Yes someone will say, i knew he had a child and still went ahead! Hmmnnn yes i knew he had a son but he told me several upon several lies about the girl. I got to hear the truth much later and a bit too late. From what i heard, it was the same way he treated me he treated the lady, hers was even worse that she ran out of the house with the boy.

Anyway the story is too long. At least i have read some reassuring comments. Thanks guys.

@ ACIDTALK, absolutely NO i didn‘t force him ooo. I know d implications of doing that and besides i c no reason y a woman would force a man to marry her because it always backfires at the end. It was his whole idea that is y i was stunned when he suddenly declared divorce as option when he gets tired.

When i took in for him, he refused to give me money for ante-natal or register me with his office NHIS. When i askd y, he said he doesnt want anythin to do with my child, he left d house,moved into a new place with a girl he was dating in the next compound &never contactd me all thru my preg. God was really faithful and kind to me during this period.
Anyway he has not seen my baby till date.when i called him last month to discuss child support with him, he clearly said he won‘t support but if he must, he will take permission from his eldest brother (his family pushes him around). I cant depend on him or wait for him oooo, i will take care of my son.

Someone said i should lower my expectations: well when we got married (only brideprice,no ceremony)he was earning #25000 while i was earning #50000. I believe in people progressing and couples growing together.

Next time i will aim a little higher because i was taken for a ride.

@ ACIDTALK, absolutely NO i didn‘t force him ooo. I know d implications of doing that and besides i c no reason y a woman would force a man to marry her because it always backfires at the end. It was his whole idea that is y i was stunned when he suddenly declared divorce as option when he gets tired.

When i took in for him, he refused to give me money for ante-natal or register me with his office NHIS. When i askd y, he said he doesnt want anythin to do with my child, he left d house,moved into a new place with a girl he was dating in the next compound &never contactd me all thru my preg. God was really faithful and kind to me during this period.
Anyway he has not seen my baby till date.when i called him last month to discuss child support with him, he clearly said he won‘t support but if he must, he will take permission from his eldest brother (his family pushes him around). I cant depend on him or wait for him oooo, i will take care of my son.

Someone said i should lower my expectations: well when we got married (only brideprice,no ceremony)he was earning #25000 while i was earning #50000. I believe in people progressing and couples growing together.

Next time i will aim a little higher because i was taken for a ride.

Am 28yrs old. Honeslty d whole love thing is kinda scary as am scared of falling into d wrong hands again. Ex husband didnt love me at all, it was he was forced into d marriage. HE CONFESSED TO HIS FRIEND WHEN WE SEPERATED THAT HE MARRIED ME FOR MARRYING SAKE NOT THAT HE LOVED ME. How do i know a serious minded and honest man. I thot ex husband was real as he was very convincing. How can i tell the difference between a serious man and the opposite?

I was married to a Yoruba man 2yrs ago (am from d East). The man is from a polygamous family and deeply believed in divorce; infact 3weeks into the marriage he suddenly decared that divorce is an option when anyone of us gets tired. Bottom line, the marriage lasted for just 7 months.

I did all I could to make our marriage work but I was totally frustrated. My pregnancy was 2 months old when he physically assaulted me repeatedly kicking my stomach. My child survived and he is 4 months old now, a healthy baby.

Now the thing is this, am a single mum now as we are finally seperated. What chances are there for single mum‘s to find love, are they discriminated against? Am not saying i want to start dating again now, i just want to know what its like for us out there.

The only reason i use MTN is to call family and friends, they are extremely expensive and thieves in my opinion. GLO is the bomb, since i migrated to infinito, my life has never been the same, they simply rock in calls, sms, browsing. My AIRTEL line is just for browsing, the free 10M they give if u recharge #200 (tho they didnt give me the when i recharged last) but their call rate is damn too expensive, very annoying. Unfortunately, ETISALAT is supposed to beat GLO but the fact that u have to subscribe daily for cheap calls brings them down on my list. GLO ALL D WAY!