₦airaland Forum

You guys are funny sha. As for my friend, her guy's case is quite bad (i have heard him) but she has gotten used to it while hers is mild. Stammering and dumb aren't the same. Why my friend is scared is that in her family, her dad stutters while her mum does not. 3 out of their 5 children are stammerers. So you can imagine a situation of both parents being stammerers. Anyway she will read the responses from you guys herself.

Personally i don't think i can marry a fellow stammerer ooo! I seriously do not want any of my children to be a stammerer. It can be very difficult to communicate if your impediment is a strong one. Mine is quite light and i try to communicate slowly and funny enough when am angry, i talk fast. The only time i almost died out of shame was when i was presenting my final year undergraduate seminar in front of hundreds of students and the university staff. I will never ever forget that day. It was a disaster. I couldn't communicate and that was my first time of facing a crowd and worse still people at the back were laughing at me. I thank God am better off now cos i served as a lecturer in a College of Health Technology and i was in control and really cautioned myself to teach slowly and i never stuttered before them.

A friend confided in me that she wants to end her relationship with her fiancee because they are both stammerers. She didn't see anything wrong with it when they newly started dating but when things started getting serious, it dawned on her that all their children may be stammerers and maybe even dumb. The bad part is that the man stammers much more than my friend so she is planning on telling the guy any time soon. I told her to hold on and still think it true since they both love each other.
Personally i stammer lightly also and back in the days i wanted to be a lawyer but my speech impediment kind of discouraged me because i can imagine how frustrating it would be for a stammerer to argue how much more in the court of law!
What do y'all think?

That's nice. Good work operator. Never knew that guy in Salt is Nigerian. Its good to know we have decent actors and actresses over there.

The fears of all ladies with cheating husbands is STDs especially HIV, Hepatitis and other deadly diseases. Quite alot of women have died from AIDS given to them by their husbands. So does it mean marriage to a cheating man is a death sentence? We live this life just once, marriage is supposed to be a blessing to the lives of those involved but some men who can't control their wandering d.i.c.ks makes it impossible for most ladies to enjoy their marriage. Rather they will spend all the time praying for God to change their spouse, they spend time thinking, crying and some end up finding succor in the arms of another man cos their husband is busy loving another woman.
It hurts when husbands cheat on their wives especially when the wife is pregnant. If your wife isn't good enough in bed to your liking, why don't you teach her and help her improve? If you don't teach her, who will?
Is it possible this philandering thing is inherited? My grand dad (paternal) never cheated on his wife, my dad has never ever cheated on my mum, i can boldly say that am 97% sure that my uncles don't cheat on their wives. But my ex husband's dad (he is late) has close to 30 children (polygamous marriage and extra marital affairs).
Perhaps upbringing plays a major role in this case. May God help us.

Before i got married i zero 'ed my mind that 99% of all married men are cheats, its part of them, its in their blood and they think its their right to cheat. Don't get me wrong, i had this notion because if it eventually happens to me i won't be too shocked or go crazy and besides it may not even happen. Meanwhile i prayed like mad that God should protect him from falling into the hands of "evil" ladies......... but it appears my prayers were not answered as he had girlfriends all over, opened a badoo.com account to looks for more girls, started dating the girl in the next compound and even spent our first ever (and last) valentine with a girl he met on badoo. I jokingly advised him to always use condom cos of STDs but am not saying he should cheat (was only trying to protect myself). All these were happening about six months after we were married. When i eventually discovered his extra marital affairs (up to 4 different girls at the same period), i was hurt and worse still was few weeks pregnant. He has this terrible mentality that its absurd for a man to apologise to a woman and so never apologised (no matter what he did, he would never apologise and never did, instead i will be the one apologising just for peace to reign and for the marriage to continue) but rather boasted about his escapades.
I personally don't think its wise for a lady to walk out of her marriage over unfaithfulness cos some of the men realise what they have done and puts an end to the extra affair and apologises to their wives. But some like my ex husband brags about it and even rubs it on your face (he would use my laptop to chat with the badoo girls and make meeting arrangements with them and forget to sign out) even though the marriage is extremely young.

@Jenny Agun, thanks for that wonderful detailed information.

debrief08: ANother great post, the only thing i will addd is love, Most men dont even know that they are meant to totally and selflessly love thier wives. To some husband is just a social title and are not aware of the responsibilities that come with it, if there is Christ Like love so many things we see today wont exist

thanks alot for what you just said. Its like you were talking to me directly. I hope you love your wife selflessly.
I wish there is a way about to marry adult men and woman will undergo a kind of psychiatric/marital readiness test or maybe a kind of scan that reveals the maturity of the mind and brain when it comes to marriage before anyone will be allowed to get married. It would really save lots of people the stress and waste of time loving the wrong person that doesn't want you.

In my opinion, that would be a man that physically abuses his wife, then the man that physically abuses his pregnant wife is insane.

Is this for real? I don't think so. But its possible sha. We once had a neighbour from Delta who dated an ibo lady for good 8years and when he wanted to marry her, he was slammed with a marriage list that his salary (was a teacher) couldn't cover. He peacefully ended the affair with the lady. He went to his village, courted and married a wife in 3months. They now have 3kids but ........

On another note, The posts in this thread may be funny, i agree infact i have been laughing my ass off but there are lots of things for us to learn from here. We singles should please learn from the experience of this people and correct ourselves. Truth we should accept our partner for who they are and love their habits too but when your spouse continually gets irritated by a particular habit of yours, please try to correct yourself.

Consumes a big bottle of cheap squadron in less than a day. when urine spills on his hands when he is urinating, he would not wash his hands, reason is that its his body. I feared for my life and kids. Much as i tried to respectfully talk to him, he loved himself way too much and his way of life to think of anyother.

He had a very irritating habit of sticking his finger into his anus just like that. When i beg him to go wash his hands, he will say its his body and use the bedsheet to wipe the finger. Anyway marriage lasted for just 7 months.
I seriously doubt any sane man will have such habit cos its not only dirty, its unhealthy.

That is God at work for you. May his name be praised.

The worst i have seen was in my university days. My neighbour, a yoruba lady eats rice with okro soup and beans and banana. Horrible to me sha.

My best is jollof rice and dodo, beans and dodo, pounded yam and egusi soup.

Hi Missy-B, please send a copy of the maggi e book to my email address prettychick424@yahoo.com. Thanks alot.

The health benefits and wonders of garlic are so much that majority cant do without it but you always find a few who would not eat any food with garlic in it. Some go to the extent of chewing it but the very strong pungent smell of garlic “drives“ people away from you till the smell subsides.
Personally i can‘t chew garlic so what i do is that once in a while i prepare small garlic stew with lots (quite alot)of garlic and ginger in it and though it gives the stew a bit of a strong taste, its still better than chewing it raw and eat with yam, rice, plantain and bread. I also crush a piece or two into egg/tomatoe sauce.
How do you like your garlic in your food and are there other ways to enjoy garlic without chewing?

blacklion: Yes.

@blacklion, i agree with you but believe it or not that child even if he reconciles with his biological father, there will always be a little bit of hatred for the man and he would never be loved by the son as much as the original father would be loved.

Please do whatever you can do for the little boy. Someone may say you are playing a foolish game but you are not. Rather you are sowing deep into christ and will reap later. The blessings that goes with helping out babies are just too great.
That aside, you knew this would happen sooner or later so please dont run away now. If the school fees is very expensive, tell her to look for another one you both can afford easily afterall its just a kg. Is she not working? Is she a graduate? If she is, let her get something doing no matter how small.
Do you plan to marry her? Then see it as if you are doing it for your own child.

Dont be suprised that she is just testing you and besides you said it yourself that she gives you peace of mind and you both are perfect for each other.......what more do you want? You may leave her like some said but a good lady like that will be lucky to get a good man that will love her and her son.
What if an opportunity presents itself and you all leave this country? Will you still be thinking about the biological father? When the child grows to 18yrs, by then his mother would have told him the story about his birth; do u truely think he would look for a man who wanted him dead?
If you make up your mind to help, do so without reservation and the God you serve will bless you richly for it and you will live long to reap the fruits of your labour.
Goodluck.

Madam what majority has said is the truth. What you need in your marriage is a little spice and lots of varieties.
What matters most is that he still loves you and you him and he doesnt physically abuse you.
Go get some cookbooks on local and intercontinental dishes or get different recipes from the internet and improve on your cooking and also try to prepare dishes of other tribes that you know tastes good. Your man is just bored of eating the same kind of food with same thirst. I know it wont be easy but you need to get your man back and like the popular saying goes“the way to a man‘s heart is through his stomach“.

Coming to the sex issue: pls pls pls get yourself a book on different ways of pleasing your man or better still google it and you will get amazing articles. The sex between you guys have become too routine. Please madam do something about that department urgently. Since he travels alot due to his job, on a particular weekend you are expecting him, send your kids to stay with a relation, shop for some lingeries of different colours and types, buy soft flowered bedsheets, nice body spritz, scented candles, some bottles of wine which must be chilled, prepare his favourite meal and spend the entire weekend together and you will see what difference this will make. Betterstill instead of sending the kids away, get someone to stay with them and spend that wonderful weekend in a nice hotel with your man.

Above all pray and commit your marriage to GOD. Do your own bid by makibng efforts to restore life back to your marriage & God will do the rest.
Remove divorce out of your mind cos once you start thinking it, you will not make extra efforts for your marriage to work.

If you dont know how to bake, pls learn and bake your husband and children‘s favourite snacks once in a while. You will be amazed how much homemade muffins,scones,pies,croissants,fruit juice, cakes (with less sugar and more honey) meatballs etc will make them happy. Dont be confused cos it wont make them fat!

IT IS WELL WITH YOU MADAM.

My sister please try and relax ok and be using this time to pray to God for your own husband. I would advice you cut off yourself from those unserious guys, give yourlife to christ, be positive, go out more and if you are having affairs with married men, quietly end it.
You really shouldn't be worried cos it would lead you to desperation and believe me if you blindly marry a man out of desperation and you discover your mistake after marriage, you will end up with a life full of regret and unhappiness. Don't let your mother or anyone put pressure on you. Your husband will come when he will come. Marriage is very sweet only if you marry your own husband.

He did it cos of greed. That is the problem with us humans, we hardly wait to think about the future effect of our actions. Now if he is jailed, he could loose his medical license.

knowledge4: Marrying a man from a polygamous background is an error because the chances of marital failure is higher in such people from polygamous backgrounds except those who are conscious of this and are praying hard against it.Polygamy, and polygamous backgrounds is an evil foundation.
2ndly,the man deeply believed in divorce so from the onset, the marriage was doomed.The Bible says in Proverbs 6:2 that 'we are ensnared by our own words''.Also see Proverbs 12:13 and Proverbs 18:21
By his beliefs and pronouncements,he cursed his own marriage,that was why it crashed at 7 months.
You can not marry again for as long as the man is still living (Romans 7:1-3)(1 Corinthians 7:10-11)
If you do,you and the man who marries you commit adultery (Matthew 5:32).
You have to stay single for life or be reconciled to your husband.(1 Corinthians 7:11)
Forget divorce.(Malachi 2:16)
Looking for love outside the context of God's word is sin.
That's my advice for you based on Scripture(The Bible).

At least you understand where the problem really started. There is truely power in the tongue. He believed in divorce and was ready for it to happen anytime because he believed he is goodlooking and can get another wife easily. So he didn't make any effort to make our marriage work. It was like a child's play to him. Anyway its all history now.
Coming to what you said about me not getting married again, we didn't do court wedding or church. It was just bride price payment which will be returned.
Now am more relaxed, God will send my own, i believe that.