₦airaland Forum

I was at a restaurant last night with hubby and we saw at least 3 marriage proposals happen. I guess yesterday being V. Day had a lot to do with it.

For our married NLs' or those that are currently engaged, do you recall how your proposal went? What was the setting? (no lies please! nothing like _{"we were on a mountain top"}  ), What was your reaction?

My husband proposed to me in a McDonald restaurant  . I had just taken a big bite of my burger when he pulled his chair closer, and got down on one knee. I was just staring at him saying to myself, "na wetin now?  and then he whipped out this box and gave one long speech and ended it with "will u be my missing rib for life"  I swear I almost choked. Of course I said yes and trust all these oyibo people, they started clapping. As soon as all the hoopla was over, I said to my newly engaged man, "u better order me another burger becos this one is cold" I then asked him why he picked McDonald of all places and he said because he tried to get me to go to a more nicer romantic restaurant but I wanted McDonald  . (I was addicted to their burger at one time 9 years ago  )

Share your proposal experience please.

@ army of 2 , Uju and Ify, please find more songs! these are bringing back such good memories

armyofone:
psalm, why you no thank me now, not fair now. so cuz i no use mother tongue i no count 

abeg no vex oh! i thank you many many times over for starting the song and thank Uju for completing it 

Outstrip:
Awwwww. I vaguely remember this. Don't you tap on the floor when you do this. I definitely remember it being sung for babies or little kids. So precious

yes oh! some kids tap on the ground and others clap.

Ujujoan:
Onye mulu nwa na ebe akwa
egbe mulu nwa na ebe akwa
weta oziza, weta ose
weta ngbala na ime ofe
Unu nunu elisia ya
egbe ndo egbe ndo . . .   

@ Uju, nne, thank you for the complete song! I can still remember my grandmother singing this to my younger ones. It brought back sweet memories. . I'm going to sing it to my baby when the time comes

And she was a pretty girl at that!

The pressure these so-called producers and talent scouts put on aspiring models and dancers is just unbelievable. You see models looking like twigs all because they were to told to be skinny! what is this world turning into?

See here pictures here

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1355080/Claudia-Aderotimi-thought-illegal-implant-make-hip-hop-star.html

i can only think of one children's song but it is incomplete and I do not know the meaning. A group of us kids would form a circle and hold hands while one child will be outside the circle running round and round to this song: (pls excuse my butchering of my native tongue  )

"kpakpangolo, kpangolo"
"kpakpangolo, kpangolo"
"udu me, o'nwele"
"onye amara"
udu yayaya
Udu ya"
. Lord help me! I know i have so killed this song.

Anyway, at the last 'udu ya" the child immediately stops and the person he stops in front of is tagged to do the running around the circle.   

If the question was the other way around, i wonder what the women would say. @ poster, maybe ur question should have been "will u still marry your same spouse again" to give us ladies a chance to answer too.

dayokanu:
Now she is coming out to tell us what she wanted all along. Another of those who believe babies making is a source of income. Good luck with the child support. remember you can only claim 2 kids in Tax returns which is less than $2,000 a yr

The child support was calculated based on his minimum wage income which amounted to like $20/week and he drives around town in a Lexus.

When going on mindless romps, think of the consequences, When thinking you can turn baby making into a means of livelihood think twice

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DK, i guess you are in the UK because minimum wage here in the US for a weeks worth of work is way way more than $20. @ 7.50/hr, a 40 hr work week will net you $300/week. He should pay $150 of that in child support IMO.

Why are you inferring that she wants to use those babies as a money making machine? It's not as if the guy is super rich and she wants to milk millions from him. Does his blood not run in the veins of the children?
How would you like to grow up and learn that your father's name isn't even on your birth certificate or that your father never helped raise you or contribute a dime to your upkeep?

Unfortunately, cases like Nekai's is happening everyday around the world. They are both guilty and they should both be equally held responsible. She has paid and is still paying for her "mistake" which i call a gift from God. She alone suffered the pains of pregnancy and childbirth. He wasn't there to hold her hair when she had morning sickness, he wasn't there to rub her back when those babies were kicking hard, he wasn't there to wipe her tears and ease her fears concerning  the future of those babies, he wasn't there when they were born and now they are older, he still isn't there. He knows they have been born and yet he can't even send $1 for diapers or formula? And yet, you sit there and say you see something wrong with her going after him for child support? 

Nekai,

Where are you? England or the US?

Is he still a student? Does he have a job?

Either way, the dude has money to party and club around and also spend on the newest "mumu" girl draped around his arm. If he could have unprotected seexx with you then he is doing the same with other girls and sooner or later there'll be many more girls pregnant for him out there. Once a dog, always a dog!

Go after hime with all you've got for child support. He should pay. Even if it is $1/week, let that pathetic SOB pay for the upkeep of his children. Maybe if he was a bit more civil towards you and acted like a fukking real man, we wouldn't be having this conversation. He is nothing but a punk and he should be treated as such!

Don't hold your breath thinking he'll come around because he won't unless God punishes him and he is unable to have any more children when he really wants them. That's when they usually remember the child they abandoned and then they come begging and blaming the devil for thier wickedness and act of abandonment.

The guy has pulled a fast one on you. Chances are his wife was never pregnant but he used her fictitious miscarriage to garner sympathy from your husband so he can get re-hired. Chances are he did indeed steal ur 20k and has been stealing all along from you.

You are too pregnant to start looking for a driver. Have your family and friends recommend a few trustworthy potential drivers for you to start interviewing ASAP. And this time, if anyone doesn't provide u with all their contact info including next of kin, show them the door. I wish there was a thing like background check in Naija!

On a side note, why not have your husband take a few weeks vacation from work for the birth of the baby? You actually need him around u now that u r in ur 9th mth.

Stand firm and do not re-hire ur ex con man of a driver or this time, he might arrange for armed robbers to really come and steal from you as retribution for firing him in the first place

I am in awe at what I just saw happen here. Tears filled my eyes and my heart was filled with so much pride and joy because i come from a country where the people have each others back when the going gets tough. To make time and open your hearts and purse strings for a total stranger is something that I never thought could happen between Nigerians because of the fear of 419 and scams.

Mafe did his homework and presented his case perfectly. He did not loose his composure, temper and sense of purpose when all the nay sayers were going at him. He took time to explain himself, gave personal information to back up his story which all turned out to be the truth. We all need to take a page from this young man's book. With God, truth, honesty and perseverance, nothing is impossible.

To all those that made this man's dream come true, may you all be richly blessed. May you receive a 1000 fold back what  you put out to help him. May sorrow never come your way and may the good Lord continue pouring His blessings on you all.

Mafe, you've prooved yourself. If you are ever in the New Jersey area and need assistance, let me know @ winrow245@msn.com

i'm seriously considering moving back to Nigeria. I work in the Accounting / Human Resources field here in the US and i would like to know what the going pay level is for positions like these in Abuja, if anybody has an idea.

I was working for the Swiss Embassy in Abuja so I really didn't have any problems. My first visa was the schengen visa. I didn't need to go for an interview or anything. My boss sent a letter with my passport to the German Embassy in Lagos and a week later my passport was back with a multiple entry visa in it!   I spent Christmas with my sis and her family in Germany

The next year i decided i wanted to go see ground zero, once again, my boss typed out my letter and my passport was sent off to the American Embassy on a Monday. By that Friday I had my visa.    

I guess working in a diplomatic office helped avoid all the hassles!  

Something doesn't sound right here! Looking at that picture, how does one think that the woman was able to "dance around" and entertain her onlookers while on that oblong shaped roof? I can see her taking off her clothes, but dancing around,  I don't think so.
Also, where did the stones that she used in throwing @ her rescuers come from?

What kind of fire service do we have in Nigeria that uses water to try and get someone perched on a steep roof down? Na wa oh!

nigerian journalism at it's best!

@dayokanu, you are right. There is a big difference from taking money from a joint account and taking money from a wallet or purse and yes my husband has taken money from my pocket book before without asking me but I didn't accuse him of stealing it. I looked for it and it wasn't there so I asked him if he took it and he said yes. I didn't start accusing him of stealing but I was upset that he did not ask me before going into my pocket book. The next day I went into his wallet and took some of the money i found there and he did NOT accuse me of stealing it. If he noticed it was missing he never said a word, I was the one who told him that i took some money out his wallet.

I guess it all depends on what kind of relationship you have with your spouse. But I strongly disagree with any married couple that call their spouse a thief for taking money out of their bags or wallets. There is something not right there.

I'm no doctor but I did a little research online and here are a few links I think you should read.

http://www.marchofdimes.com/complications_umbilical.html

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/814875/very-short-umbilical-cord

Respect, Love and appreciation (for everything seen and unseen )

rasputinn:
I'm still waiting for ze answer to zis qiestion

There's a saying "different strokes for different folks", so I can only speak for myself. My husband does not ask my permission before taking money out of our account. He tells me what he's using it for but doesn't ask if he should take it and the same applies to me. Do i consider that stealing? NO! I still beliebe
Now if he wasn't a husband but a boyfriend with question mark, I might be inclined to call it stealing!

"Former 'Idol' Chikezie -- Arrest Warrant Issued
1/27/2011 8:15 AM PST by TMZ Staff   


Smells like more trouble for "American Idol" alum Chikezie Eze -- because a judge has issued a bench warrant for the 25-year-old in connection to his cologne arrest ,  TMZ has learned.


According to court records, Chikezie -- who's on probation for allegedly buying cologne with a phony credit card last year -- failed to show up for a court hearing in L.A. on January 14.

After the no-show, the judge in the case -- Marsha Revel (Memba her?) -- immediately revoked Eze's probation and issued a warrant for his arrest.

Calls to Chikezie's people have not been returned."

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Nigeria in the news again!

IMO, once married, everything you have is considered "community property" which means "In a community property jurisdiction, most property acquired during the marriage (except for gifts or inheritances) is owned jointly by both spouses and is divided upon death, annulment or divorce".

i know some people will say this law does not apply in Nigeria and my answer is so what? It makes common sense. When you become man and wife, everything including your pocket becomes one. As long as you inform your spouse that "hey honey, i took bla bla amount from your wallet for bla bla bla reason" this is to avoid having him worry that he's mis-placed the money or that he has been robbed by someone

Find a hotel in a safe neighborhood for the night. Were you just visiting or did you relocate? If you were just visitng then u really don't have much to worry about, u can just leave the next morning but if you were relocating from another state to Akure, then be careful before asking strangers for help.
By the way, what kind of friend would ditch their out of town guest like that? Maybe it's time for u to switch friends!

@ poster, before you two got married, did u guys not talk about this? When she signed the marriage certificate what did she sign it as?

I don't know how it's done back home but over here, we first apply for a marriage license and on that license, the wife writes what her new married name will be.

you and ur wife shld have talked it over first. But really, there is nothing to it. Everybody still knows she's ur wife even though i concede that it must be awkward!

@ Aloy Emeka, u r just a nit wit!  Why the heck will anybody be in a marriage just for endurance sake in this century? If you have nothing better to say, why don't u just do me a big favor and turn ur puter off or better still STFU! 
YES, i said 8+years and I'm proud of it.  In this day and age where seperation and divorce is rampant, yes I am very proud that despite the huge cultural differences between my husband and I and many other problems, we've had 8 years of happy marriage. Can u say the same about ur relationship? Maybe u have a gazellion years of marriage under ur belt and you are enduring it. You should be the one asking Jesus or whatever deity u worship to turn ur miserable life around so u can start living! Enuff already! 

You enjoy jumping into other people's posts and taking the topic elsewhere with ur cynical comments. Grow the "f" up! I will not waste any more of my brain cells on u or this issue!

[quote author=aloy/emeka link=topic=590993.msg7589535#msg7589535 date=1295821402]Almost like saying that you EXPECT to get divorced in future.[/quote]@ Aloy Emeka, I'm a realist. In life we don't know what tomorrow will bring and I apply the same principle to everything I do. I'm not saying I want to get divorced or I wish for for it but I am not living and refuse to live in a fairy tale world where I expect the rest of my life to be a happily ever after. Despite problems I've faced in my marriage, I can still proudly say that I've got 8+ years under my belt.
So don't go trying to read a whole lot of meaning into my statements and please GET OFF MY BACK! It's like you enjoy trying to poke holes or find fault with things I say. Jeez!!!

Sweet T:
@Psalm23

And you think you out of the woods yet?? A man with a mind strong enough to conceive or hide such things is capable of stepping his game up and play it better. I wish you luck.

Please don't wish me badluck  whether I'm out of the woods or not I would like to believe that i've shown my husband and that thing that if they try anything, I can and will find out. Afterall, what are private detectives for? After that incident, I've had my home # changed, I'm on a family cell phone plan with him and thanks to modern technology, even when I'm at work, i can see all incoming and outgoing calls made on our cells and home phone. This is what happens when a spouse causes the other to loose trust and faith in them. And lastly, he also knows that i will divorce him no questions asked and then drive all the way to Virginia and kick that woman's buttt.

@ jenny, this topic just reminded me of those months of hell between my husband and I. Haba!   i had to take a crash course on electrical engineering (so i could bug my phones). that ex of his had her claws out big time and she was leaving no stones unturned to get her claws back into my hubby! The kind of nasty things she was saying to him would make even a dark skinned person blush! Shameless hussy! I swear black American women are dangerous and notorius for making a play for other people's boyfriends/husbands! Finding out that I wasn't American didn't help matters for her either i guess.

This issue is a serious one.
there is no reason in this world why the poster's wife should have her ex's # in her phone and to add salt to injury, she saved it under a fake name. That just screams GUILTY to me.
If the shoe was on the other foot and it was a man doing the name switch and hiding, believe u me, we women would have gone off like a volcano on that man

I kept my father's name after marriage but hyphenated it to add my husband. If i ever get divorced, it will make it easier to drop the last name and continue with my dad's name

Outstrip:
I don't think you even got over it. I hope you never run into her before you divide her assunder

^^^^^,  I haven't gotten over it even though it's been almost 6 years now. Na so i for siddon close eye person come snatch my husband! Oh no! I showed both of them that even though I'm Nigerian, i have picked up some of their oyibo mentality. i have not been watching the show "Cheaters" for nothing!! 

Back to the poster ojare and his secretive wife, I honestly speaking, don't see any reason why the past can't remain in the past. If you have moved on with your life and relationship, why look back at your past? this is how trouble comes calling. Why would you want to resume or continue communicating with someone from your past who once had intimate knowledge of you? Makes absolutley no sense to me!  i know someone who had a fight with her fiance and she picked her phone and called her ex boyfriend whom she said was now "JUST A FRIEND", before you know it she was crying on his shoulder and badabing badaboom, clothes were off and they were doing it. Needless to say, that fiance is now the past while she's back with her ex.