₦airaland Forum

whether a man puts on the appearance of having moral standards or not, the fact still remains that 99% of men will throw away their moral standards when faced with serious temptations. It's been happening for ages and will continue to happen.
Women have a stronger will to fight temptations than men. Men are programmed to cheat and lust after what isn't theirs period! The blame doesn't entirely lie on the guy. Women know they have the power to bring a man crashing to his knees panting with lust and so they go out of their way to entice, seduce and entrap the men.
Bottomline is this, the poster has a reached a compromise with his wife. he is not backing down from his no because he has seen what the future might hold if he relents, and all he can see in that future is TEMPTATIONS everywhere, I give him props because he knows himself and knows that try as he might to shun the devil, he will one day succumb. They will keep looking for a maid. His wife really needs a more matured woman to take care of the house and baby when it comes and not an 18 yr old with perky boobs, pretty face etc.
A word of advice to all the married women out there hiring teenagers as maids, SHINE YOUR EYES well well. You husband might not be messing around with ur help but that doesn't mean that ur help isn't doing things like walking around half clothed or in a wrapper or towel in front of oga when madam is out.
My step mom brought her younger sister to live with us years ago. Come to find out that my dad was doing her and paying her hush money. After he died, we were cleaning out his closets when we found his "black book" as we call it and in it were listings from when this chick was 18 up until she was 25, of dates, hotels and her name with all monies he was giving her beside her name. She confessed to her sister after some serious decking! So yes, men will sleep with anything that tempts them. My dad fell for this girl not becos she's fine (she looks like a frog) but because of her attributes.

my husband loves to cook as much as he loves to eat. I've told him time without # to please, PLEASE always make sure that when he puts a dirty dish or pot in the sink, to put water in them so it will be easier to wash. 8 years down the road and i'm still fighting with him over this simple thing to do. It's annoying when i have to do the dishes and half of them are so dried and caked with food crusts and has to be soaked for a while b4 washing. If i try to put them like that into the dishwasher they come out looking like they were b4 i put them in. His solution is to fill the pot with water and put on the stove to boil wasting gas and electric. Why is it that men don't like listening to common sense?

With God

The poster has since forgotten about this issue and we are still harping on it!

I've told my husband time without # to take the toilet seat up b4 peeing but he continuosly does the opposite and ends up leaving drops of pee on the seat. It irks me so bad that when i have to pee I have to first of all wipe the darn toilet seat . Last night was the crest of this problem. I woke up to pee and while still in the dream state, i didn't put the bathroom light on, i sat down to do my business and my butt almost touched the water, the coldness of the porceline toilet and the wetness jolted me away faster than an electric bolt. I'll let y'all imagine what happened afterwards and the kind of abuses that spewed from my mouth. I think he did it on purpose.

With God

LadyT:
Shes too cute and too sexy.

At least hes being honest. Dont tell your wife the real reason that will cause hell. ignore her she will get over it. you have a good heart some guys wouldnt think twice

ah ah! which woman in her right mind wld hire a cute and sexy girl as housemaid? has she not seen or heard of instances where housemaid "carry belle" for oga? (no offense to dami paul. i'm not saying u r like that or u intend to give her belle)
My mother only hired women that were in their late 60s, menopausal and with a few teeth missing as maids as long as they were still healthy and strong enough to take care of some chores as well as caring for us kids. (our maids were wicked to us sha) and it worked out well even though that didn't stop my dad from knocking his secretary up 

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=567760.msg7369522#msg7369522 date=1292796951]I will only believe that information if it came from the ladies themselves.[/quote]well, unfortunately, that's one information u'll never get to hear. don't really care if u or anybody believes it, i've seen it happen first hand and his friends have told me.

@dami paul, it's called "compromise". Sit down with your wife and tell her why u feel strongly against hiring that particular house maid. If she insists, reach a compromise. Go along with it but she has to agree that if the maid makes even the slightest mistake, she's out the door. Believe me, in the first day, she will fumble. This way, u get peace back in your home.
i can't help but wonder why your wife asked for your input in the hiring if she was going to cop an attitude when u said no. 
if i might ask, what exactly is it about this maid that made you say no?

my husband works in construction and due to the nature of his work, finger jewelry is not advisable. the last time i saw his wedding band on his finger was on our wedding day. in my opinion, a ring does not make a man or woman faithful, there are people out there who still screw around with their wedding rings on. my husband will be the first to tell any girl that over flirts with him "hold up, I'm a happily married man"

How wld u classify faithfulness and unfaithfulness? Do you consider flirting with another person as being unfaithful even though it is just what it is, flirting? what about admiring someone other than ur partner? is that also considered as unfaithful?
I'm married (8+ years) and i have admired other men, being the recipient of flirts from other men but that's as far as it went. No touching, hugging or anything of that sort. My husband is the same way. He finds it seriously amusing when other women flirt with him. Does this make me a faithful wife? In my book and in the eyes of my husband, yes! to others i might not be.

What a relief to know I'm not the only seeing the "true color" of my hubby even though I love him to death, his nasty habits will be the death of me
One more of his bad habits is when he's sleeping he kicks snores and grunts and makes sounds like he is fighting someone and yet in the morning, he'll say "babe, I had the weirdest dream, I was being chased by naked women"
another bad habit is his constant craving for attention from me. If he's constipated, he will call me @ work and say "it's refusing to come out" I'm like WTF?? r u serious calling me @ work for that?? . He is a semi hyperchondriach too. If his leg hurts a little, he immediately decrees that it is a blood clot and we rush to the ER only for them to do xrays and say it's a muscle pull. If his back hurts, he has multiple sclerosis. if his body itches a little more than usual, he has contracted what he calls "the scratching disease" or he gets conviced our home is covered with mites, fleas and bed bugs which means calling an exterminator in, throwing out all the beddings and bying new ones and washing ALL the clothes with hot water. , Haba!!! sometimes i ask myself na who send me go marry?

naijafrend:
@ pslm 23 , Oh my god, autistic is a terrible word to use!
@ poster, u know, reading your post, i feel you and your wife have constant arguments , maybe you guys are doing it right in front of the kid , he is just enacting what you do at home, for all you know, why dont you try to set an example by being polite to each other at home and then see the change for yourself?

It might be a terrible word but it is a reality. I've seen lots of autistic kids at the daycare i used when i had my foster daugher, and they exhibited some of the signs the poster has mentioned his 2 year old has. Wikipedia has a more detailed explanation on autism and the signs.
I wasn't wishing bad things on the poster or his child. people here have said the child is possessed and even worse and you didn't pick on them. why me

It's a phase called the "Terrible 2s" when he's 3 it will become even worse "Frightening 3s. Please don't start thinking he's possesed or anthing like that. Have you had him looked at by a peadiatrician? He could be autistic too.

Fake @ heart!

[quote author=A_K_O link=topic=482362.msg7348416#msg7348416 date=1292511278]LMAO how can you tell?[/quote]it's quite obvious. a hand that has been washed will have that "wet" look even after it has been dried by a hand towel. If you leave a meal you were eating with your hands to go to the bathroom and you come back with evidence of "palm oil and dried garri" on your hand, YOU DID NOT WASH YOUR HANDS!!! 

bababuff:
So long as he doesn't do it outside, or get you embarrassed when with friends, let him be.

My husband farts in the supermarket when he thinks nobody is around or when we are alone in an aisle. Funny thing is as soon as the fart escapes and starts smelling, that's when one oyibo family will show up and start looking at us funny . So what i do now is as soon as he farts, i run away from him  

LWKMD!!! I give the woman props sha! she was able to draw life from a dead limb

Ok, we all have had boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives who have annoying dirty habits that you didn't know of before becoming a couple. List some of the pet peeves you have against your significant other. I will start.

My husband has this annoying habit of sneezing with his whole mouth wide open like as if he needs all that open mouth to get a sneeze out. his sneeze can be so loud that his legs lift off the floor and neighbors 2 doors down can hear. That's peeve #1.

#2 is he has this disgusting habit of farting in bed when we are under the covers. The worse part is the farts smell  toxic and can be categorized as WOMD (weapon of mass destruction). Can you imagine being in a deep sleep and having a beautiful dream and the next second you are gagging, eyes buring, nostrils on fire  and then running out of the room and then not able to go back into room becos even after 1 hour, the smell is still lingering.  My husband finds it so amusing while i'm calling him all kinds of names in igbo yoruba and hausa.

p.s. he never displayed any of these bad habits while we were dating,

Me: My eye is bigger than my stomach I take more than i can finish and then force myself to eat it all and then hate myself for eating all that food, then end up being sick to my stomach.

others: drinking water before eating (my grandma drummed it into my head that it is not good to drink before eating because it half fills you up and then you will end up not eating much and then getting hungry again after a few minutes)
Also, people that sneeze into their hands while at the table is a turn off for me because they don't go wash their hands immediately and then they touch serving spoons or dishes thereby spreading their germs, sneeze into the crook of your elbow for crying out loud!!
My last peeve is people that excuse themselves from the dining table to go to the bathroom and come back after doing # 2 and u can tell they did not wash their freaking hands before coming back to the table

Arlington:
MY TESTIMONY IS READY OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

COME AND SEE OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH COME AND SEEEEEEE COME AND SEE OHHH COME AND SEEE COME AND SEEE WHAT MY GOD HAS DONE PLEASE COME AND SEE WHAT MY LORD HAS DONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Where do I begin? First God i thank you i worship you for without you i am nothing, My husband for staying by my side through this 5 year process of trying to get a child, my ever supportive sister and brother who called me and cried with me when ever i was sad , some FEW friends who where really concerned and my ever lovely TTC family here on Nairaland my baby is hereeee.

My water broke on Saturday after having pains for 2 days, getting there i was not dilated, got admitted 10pm was feeling pains and was able to take it then some hours later  i started knowing what the word LABOUR MEANT.
Ok i am a chicken i asked for epidural,and was ok for a while did not feel much pain but could feel lots of pressure  come sunday 11am  the nurse said oh good you are ready to start pushing, i was so excited but my husband just ran home to get something i said i would not push until my hubby came, he came back like 10 minutes later  we called the doctor he said ok let me check you and said who said you where ready?
I  said the Nurse he said no i am so sorry she is a young nurse you are still 6cm still have 4cm to go which can be hours i almost wanted to curse out the nurse but  i just  held my self.

From 11.30am till 3pm i was just at 7cm then my baby started stressing his heart rate started dropping because he could no longer take all the medication they where giving me.
I started stressing and he started  stressing as well. then my doctor came and said if by 4pm i was not up to 10cm he would do a CS i started crying so did my husband i prayed and said God please let me have this baby naturally without CS, By 4.40 he came again and checked me i was still at 7cm the baby was stressing a lot so they just wheeled me in  and said he would rather deliver a healthy baby to me than a dead baby. i just gave it up to God then and said let his willA be done at 5.29pm sunday my baby boy was born and i can say i am so in love words are not enough.
I am very medicated because of the CS and the drugs seem to be too hard for my body so i am still sleepy will write more when i get my self back on track.
The good lord who did it for me will do it for each and every single one of you that  seek a child  AMEN

I can't help singing this igbo song that has been in my heart since I saw your post Arlington.
"Bia'hu iheoma Chineke'nnam merem oh, bia hu, bia hu,    " "Come and see what my God has done for me oh, come and see, come and see", 
Once again congratulations! your joy is contagious. Your story is an inspiration to all of us who are going throught he same struggles u went through. We all shall be singing the same song before long in JN. When u r ready, please post pictures of u and the baby 

limar:
Hmmmm. The thing showed its ugly face on 30th but in a very unusual way. I had a malaria feeling - catarrh and cold. It didn't flow as it used to and I have been throwing up and full of saliva ever since then, people had even started looking straight at my tummy rather than my face (lol). Please TTC tell me what to do. So scared to go for test this time around after many disappointments, Can one be pregnant and still experience the flow,

You could very well be pregnant. congratulations in advance. 15 years ago, my sister came down with malaria was throwing up and spitting like crazy and then what she thought was her period showed up, brown and nothing like her normal period. She always had erratic periods and some months it will show and other months it wouldn't, so she wasn't so worried when the next month she didn't have a period or the month after that. Long story short, she was almost 5 months along before she started worrying why her belly was growing and why the "malaria" refused to go despite all the treatment she was getting. When i think of her ordeal, i get angry at our doctors back home. A simple pregnancy test would have told her she was expecting from the get go. She went to the hospital complaing of malaria symptoms and they immediately put her on choloroquine injections which she was getting almost on a daily basis. She went into premature labor at 7 months and had a stillbirth. My opinion is that those injections killed the baby.
So please, go get a pregnany test done now and start doing your prenatal visits.

A big congratulations to you and a bigger WELCOME TO THE WORLD! to your son. May God do it for us as he has done for you.

Outstrip:
She was arrested when the man was trying to despoil her It must have happened in India.

I don't think they'll see it as despoil (why won't NL let us use the real word? Is it bad? i don't like the word despoil. It's not even in the dictionary). The police are only seeing a man who might never perform again and his wife cuased him this everlasting injury. I bet u they r sympathizing with him. That's what he gets for forcing something on an unwilling woman, she bit off more than she could swallow  and i heard indians have strong teeth!!     

kokoye:
He crossed the line when he tried to force her. . . he got what he deserved  

that hurt!

but hey, the wife's loss as well . .what will happen when she's Hot - a bandaged di.ck??  

ROTFLMAO, she was arrested and i think that marriage is over, as dead as her husband's wiwi. He probably watched a dirty movie with his friends and decided "hey i will make my wife do this"

pslm23:
If your spouse asked you to "go down" on him/her would you? Isn't this act against our culture and religion? Are we then obligated to do this because we are married and took vows? Can a wife be accused of shirking in her wifely duties because she wouldn't do it?

My question should have been better clarified. If the act had never been practiced while u two were dating and all of a sudden now that you are married, he/she decides he wants it done.
Anyway, i asked this question because last week there was a disturbing but funny newspaper article that brought up this topic between my co-workers and I and we asked ourselves "what would we do"
The article tells the story of an indian couple, newly wed and 4 wks into the marriage, the husband comes and demands that his wife perform the act on him. She refused saying it was against their religion and culture. He grabs her head and tries to force her and she bites down nearly biting his wiwi off.

ifyalways:
omg!!your reasons for not "going down" are ridiculous!pulease in our bedroom,the only rule that stands are ones we make.

I asked a question that was posed to me and I didn't know what to say so I brought it here so technically, they are NOT "my reasons" and there is absolutley no need for name callings or bashings. All i asked for was what a couple, especially one that is married would do and think if faced with something like this.

If your spouse asked you to "go down" on him/her would you? Isn't this act against our culture and religion? Are we then obligated to do this because we are married and took vows? Can a wife be accused of shirking in her wifely duties because she wouldn't do it?

If your spouse asked you to "go down" on him/her would you? Isn't this act against our culture and religion? Are we then obligated to do this because we are married and took vows? Can a wife be accused of shirking in her wifely duties because she wouldn't do it?

Last month, my doctor put me on 50mg clomid, 2.5mg bromocryptine (half a pill @ bedtime) and prenatal plus pills. I use my OPK (the saliva one) faithfully and I also joined WebMd and they created my own personalized ovulation calender based on my cycle for the past 6 months. I have used a lot of these calendars from other sites but WebMd was the most accurate one.
I'm now in the 2 week wait period and I pray to God that I will have cause to smile and have a joyous Thanksgiving Day on Nov. 25.