₦airaland Forum

xynerise:
A friend of mine told me that she rather throw her money to the lagoon that help her mum when she is sick. She said @15 her mum told her to cater for herself. She never buy her any clothes let alone feed her. Not only her but her siblings too. Her mum only have time for her restaurant business. She said she hated her mum with passion. Then I realized not all mothers deserve motherly love.

I'm going to look at this from another angle. Yes, if you have a child, you should make sure you provide for them. That is your responsibility as a parent until that child has reached an adult age where they can fend for themselves.
I'm sorry but i don't think the person whose story we are reading should just up and say stuff like "she wld rather throw her money into the lagoon than help her sick mother" Before the age 15, who was caring for you, feeding you, and i believe paying your school fees? I'm pretty sure she did not go naked, did not beg on the street, she still had a roof over her head to call home. Where was the father in all this? How many brothers and sisters are we talking about?
Could it just be that when she wanted the latest fashion, her mom said no becos they couldn't afford it? did her mom make her (as the oldest) take care of her younger ones while she ran the family business (restaurant)? Some kids would rather hang out with their friends than babysit their younger ones.  if her mom is up from sunrise to sunset slaving away at that restaurant so she can at least care fro her kids as a single mom, then this child is a selfish and mean spirited kid to say such about her mother.
Frankly speaking, a lot of u were quick to conclude that they mother deserved hate. Look at the picture from another angle. We all know how teenagers are, we've been down that road. One time I remember my mom telling me that i had to baby sit my brothers and sisters when i was 15 or 16, make their meals etc becos she was working extra shifts at the hospital. Did i like it? NO! i could have been playing with my freinds. Did i hate my mom a little bit then? YES! but i got over it! The same thing applies to clothing. My rich girlfreinds had nicer clothing which i begged my mom to get for me. She said "cut ur coat according to ur size" and got me what she cld afford. Did i hate her for that? YES,  but guess what? I got over it and rocked what she got me. She's passed on now and no day goes by when my heart doesn't swell with love for her.
Bottomline, there's more to this story.

jennykadry:
^^^^ .

Watching soccer with mine is something I try to avoid. When the match is going on, this dude talks from start to finish trying to analyse like say I no get work to do. I try to sit far far away from him because if his favourite team mistakenly scores one goal, The dude looks for the next available thing beside him to lift up and jump around the house and I always come handy in such cases

ROTFLMAO!!!! use that opportunity to ask him for a new car or jewelry,  bet you he'll say yes, then give him a pen and make sure he puts it in writing in case he forgets or denies making the promise 

I'm posting this topic in the family section because it involves a family and i want to know what the couples on this forum think.
Many of us have already heard about the "weinergate" scandal that has hit the US house of reps recently. He was married to an Indian/Pakistani Muslim, he is Jewish. They've been married for 10 or 11 months and are expecting their first child now.
In the 10-11 months since they've been married, she has not spent a full month at home with her husband because she's travelling all over the world with her boss (Hilary Clinton). She comes home for a week or 2 and then it's bye again.
My question here is, is the man 100% to blame for his se.xting crimes or does the wife have culpability in it too.
They say an idle mind is the devil's playground. Men have needs and i think his wife should have at least stayed home long enough to establish her home. He was lonely and he reached out to the world of internet and se.xting.
What do y'all think?

jude33084:
On a serious note,, what did she do with her womb , because I know that God gave every woman one.

How do you know she was born with one? So are you saying that all those children born everyday in the world with some defect or the other, were not created by God? Some kids are born blind, deaf, dumb, conjoined, hole in the heart, missing spleen, cleft palets, one testicle, no belly button, ,  i could go on and on. Are they freaks of nature? OR kids created by God for a special reason or purpose in this life? I guess how you look at it difers from how I do. For me, every living thing no matter what defect, is a gift from God and deserves all the love and compassion possible.

Sometimes, we Nigerians need to get out of our silly little bubble of judging others and proclaiming witchcraft or abortions or other negative stuff as the reason for someone's misfortune. It's for us all to start thinking outside the box.

If you received a letter saying u won and then another notice saying sorry u didn't, this story might interest you. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/09/voided-green-card-winners_n_873920.html

tEsLim:
At 16/17 I had a a big afro my mum hated and cos it was in naija but she just couldn't do anything and I pierced later on but she didn't notice. And now even as an adult and as a parent myself I have both ear pierced and nothing changed in my character still old me. It only took her a little while to understand me and see that I didn't really change I dont mix fashion/style with acting silly. And now just this year got my first tattoos name of my kids on my chest and RIP for my dad on my shoulder blade etc but mostly where cloths would cover unless i'm wearing tank tops. She came to visit me and saw them but couldn't say nothing than just look at them lol. Funny how my kids wants tattoo too but damn maybe thats wrong because I wouldn't want them doing such till they're old enough to decide what type of things they want permanently on them. I dont really use my studs at home till I'm abroad or away from them. They're boys and I"m their number 1 mentor. But damn I gotta be me still. I'm not religious but they go to church. And I like it because the Jesus/bible stories got some very good moral value that would help them. THey can dedice not to like those stories when they grow but for now its good for kids. I dont try to influence them this young on some of my beliefs because I' personally I'm not conventional.

Parenting is a big task. Nothing you can do about the kid than to advice daily. My mom did that. Nothing changed in my character but the looks. Because I loved and still love the hiphop culture. Never violent, never was in a gang etc When I had to get my first job I guess I had to trim down my big afro. And when I wanted to go for certain interview lol I had to cut down my weird GOATEEE. But I rather be me. And Choose to work in a creative world like CGI/Programming/ IT Consulting where a guru that have made name can be allowed to look as he wants and still get respected. I tell you I'm not and never gonna fit in in a shirt and pants job I dont like it neither will I ever do 9 to 5 than be a consultant and manage my own time. So sometimes what you want for your kids; could not be what they want for themselves. I'm still successful with the path I chose and she came to understand me better daily and I keep good relationship with her, dad and siblings. She used to think about cutting my hair while asleep back then eh eh eh and one day she made me vent and she was scared ( because that will totally damage the relationship) my dad was never worried because back in his own days afro's where the bomb. And my woman hated my goattee lol for no reason she player hating , I love it when I go out on Fridays and I wear natives and them muslim brothers be giving me Assalam alleykum damn and I"m so non-religious, but give them walleykum assalam gangstally. My fashion doesn't have anything to do with the character; though I can be misjudged from the outlook. But only a fool judges the book by the cover. Its 2011

One can't help but smile at ur experience especially with ur mom and kids! True, but humorous as well! 

N101:
I agree with Chaircover up to a point - at 18 I was very much an adult and knew what I was doing    I was one of those people ahead of my years.

I knew of a case where a son got his ear pierced at 18, and it was months before his mother saw it even though it wasn't hidden. When she saw it, she wept, wondering where she went wrong with this son.  Years later the same son now has both ears pierced and not much of a relationship with his mother.

It is no longer a case of what you will allow your son to do, but the relationship you develop with him in spite of his dreadlocks.   I hope you're not one of those parents who will criticise too often, because if you criticise him over this, be guaranteed you will be damaging  your relationship with him in future.  Your son is more than his hair.

I agree with N101. Your son is more than his hair. Is he a good boy? does he have good grades? is he respectful? etc. It's one thing if he was indeed acting like a vagabond and disrespecting you any which way but my guess is that he is not. Do not dwell too much on what kind of hairstyle he has. I've seen people with low cut hairstyles neatly trimmed and looking all fly but their characters are horrible. the word vagabond is too small to identify them with. Western influence has slowly sipped into our sacred culture and it's how we drink it that will determine if we survive it.

Having dreads is not such a bad thing IMHO. I was lucky to have supportive parents when I decided that I was done chemicalizing my hair and wanted to go all natural. I did braids for a while and when the hair was long enough, i started the process of dreading it.

dayokanu:
^^ talk or he wants to shine congo?

@dayokanu, even if that's what he had in mind, which by the wasn't and isn't, there is a time and place for everything. Why didn't he talk as I was preparing dinner, or during dinner or after dinner? why wait until i'm like an hour into slumberland and then its "wake wake" "i have to tell you something that happened today or yesterday"

new month, new annoying habit  . he waits till I'm deeply asleep and then all of a sudden, he wants to talk about everything under the sun, WTF??

http://youtu.be/IT86xaR7ByE

this is soooooo scary

rabid dog!

Here's my experience.

Got there by 9am, was checked in (security guys in the lobby don't smile or return greetings,  na wa oh). I was asked to go wait in the waiting room till 10 am. What a shock. The waiting room needs to be aired out and the walls re-painted. They had exposed wiring everywhere (fire hazard in the making).

Anyway, by 10.10 or 10.15 am, the 2 female employees walk in and start settling down for work. One of them made an announcement asking everybody there to make sure they arrange their documents in proper order with the proof of payment as the first page.
I noticed that a lot of Nigerian in this country are not entirely helpful to other Nigerians.  We all had to take a number as soon as we walked into the waiting room but there were other people that came in and sat down without knowing that they had to pick a number. i found myself telling a few of them to go get a number and noticed that no other person was volunteering this information. We all should be helpful to each other especially in foreign countries like this.

Bottom-line, I was in and out of the Embassy in about 2 and a half hours.
I was told that I needed to bring a self addressed envelope that would be used to mail my passport back to me. That didn't happen. the Embassy personnel told me they don't mail passports to New Jersey and if I had a friend, living in NY, i could send them to pick it up. I don't have any family or friends in NY so i have to make another 2 hour trip back to NY. It is annoying.

I light 3 candles in sweet memory of the "wind beneath my wings" my dearest mother,  May 14 2008, my precious mother's spirit took flight and became an Angel of sorts watching over her children and loved ones.

The pain of loosing her is still so raw and I wonder, will it ever get better? In all honesty, I want my mom back and would give anything to just talk to her, touch her hands, laugh with her, hear her scream at me for being foolish, I just want her back! But we don't always get what we want or ask for do we? I guess I just have to make do with her memories.

Farewell to you and the youth I have spent with you. It was but yesterday we met in a dream.
You have sung to me in my aloneness, and I of your longings have built a tower in the sky.
But now our sleep has fled and our dream is over, and it is no longer dawn.
The noontide is upon us and our half waking has turned to fuller day, and we must part.
If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song.
And if our hands should meet in another dream, we shall build another tower in the sky.

I love you mom Irene, you are forever missed!

Like Madea would do, bring out your calculator and start calculating based on the years you spent with him, what it would normally cost to feed his broke arss even if he provided the money for the food, ur labor is what we r calculating. then calculate all the times you had to listen to his stupid arss stories even when they were boring. now we come to seexx. calculate the times you willing agreed to do it, the times u didn't feel like but for the sake of peace, u did; the times all he did was handle u and ask to be fondled back and finally the times when he had problems performing but u were all ready and in the mood only to be disappointed.

Did he hit ever raise his hands on you? if yes, that is a major calculation. When ur total reaches 5.5 million,stop and send the bill to him. When he pays up in full, deduct what you think u might owe him and write him a check. In the memo part of the check, make sure u write in bold letters, PAYMENT TO A SPINELESS BROKE ARSS MAN FOR INCOMPLETE SERVICES RENDERED!

Thanks guys! I'm inviting my best friend over for the summer and she's over-weight. I think i'll just pay for an extra seat to avoid any hassles that might crop up even though she's assuring me that b4 the trip, she'll loose like 50lbs. I hope so!

Any idea if there are international flights that charge extra for overweight people? I heard there is something called "customer of size" policy where they make fat people buy a second seat. It is being implement by at least one airline here in the US (Southwest) but I want to know if airlines like BA, Lufthansa or KLM are also implementing this.

The latest prediction is May 21 2011. There are huge billboards in certain towns of South Jersey announcing this date. Na wa oh!

Here is a linkhttp://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40885541/ns/us_news-life/t/end-days-may-believers-enter-final-stretch/

http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/may21/

She actually started talking by refering to him as "dude"  that's the problem with these type of mothers especially the white ones, they think they have to be on equal footing with their children in the false hope that by doing so, their children will respect them. Their form of punishment is "time out", "sit in a corner" and "go to ur room".

i don't even know what to say again. That clip has made me so upset that I'm seriously contemplating sending my children (when i start having them) back home when they are at least 10 to learn things the hard way just like I did,  you DO NOT talk back to your parents and you DO NOT roll ur eyes when ur parents are talking to you.  It's hard trying to instill discipline in a child in this country. You have to constantly worry that your child will tell on u in school and the cops will be called and u labeled as a child abuser. i am old school oh! The law in this country will  lock me up for life for murder if my child lays a hand on me not to mention the curses I will heap on him/her.

Bottom line is this, she let him get away with talking back at her when he was much younger IMO, she has placed herself as an equal with him by calling him "dude" (he has a name, use it), she did not come off as being really serious or meaning what she was saying to him. (just one look from my mother or grandmother would mummify me)

Dr. Phil is not where she should be, she needs to take that boy to their mountain home  in the wilderness, away from civilization. She shld then proceed to slapping the taste from his mouth and using real soda soap to wash his mouth. One full week of this will teach him never to mess with his mother

Actually, i did change mine but not becos I pressured into doing so by anybody including hubby. One day i was just playing around with my signature and i wondered how it would look if i dropped my maiden name and used hubby's name. I'll tell you this, my signature looked way sexier with my hubby's name attached.
This change is only for signatures oh! My name is still hyphenated and it's staying that way!

Hi Uzoo,

I can only comment on the age aspect. I'll be 37 this Saturday and will be doing my first IVF in June. I'm a healthy woman and have no known medical problems except that I just can't get pregnant.
I just pray that it will take only one trial of IVF and I'll conceive.

p.s. I live in the US and the cost differs from Nigeria

hi halle, I can only tell you what i do when I used to  invite my parent and even now when I invite my sisters, brothers or friends.

What i do is fax the letter of support to the embassy and give my family one to take with them to the Embassy. basically, the letter just states my status, how much i make and where I live and most importantly, that i will be responsible for their total upkeep (feeding, accommodation, transportation etc) while in the US. And then i request for a multiple entry visa to be given to them.
On their part, if they are paying for their flight, they have take their return ticket with them when they go for their interview. A letter from their job is also required. the letter will inform the Embassy that they are gainfully employed, how much they make per year, and why they are travelling to the US and how long they will be gone for.

however, my family have been fortunate. they've never been asked to show anything. not even a letter from their job. My letter of support is usually all they ask for.

take anything and all that you have that will make them believe that u r indeed on vacation and that u intend to return to Nigeria at the end of ur vac.If u have a bank account, take a slip that shows how much u have. they won't really need to see a deed to ur house or property unless u don't show that u have enough money.

For clarification purposes, the same letter of support/invitation letter he faxes to the Embassy is the same  u'll have in ur hand when u go for ur interview.

when can one apply for the 2013 US DV Lottery program?

if u'll be staying with someone in the US, they need to send u a letter of invitation. the letter shld include their current status in the US (green card or Citizen), where they work, how much they make.

if you are not staying with anybody, u will still need to provide documentation of where u'll be staying. if u'll be in a hotel, u need to provide proof of your accommodation showing check in date and check out date. You need to show that you have enough money to take care of urself and ur son for the duration of ur stay in the States.

When i have my family visiting, i only provide them with a letter indicating my status, where i work and how much i make. they always get their visas.

Thank you oncolor!

Driving can be torturous in New York and that is why I'm taking the train/subway there in 2 weeks and was wondering if anybody knows of a hotel/motel close to the Nigerian Embassy in New York?

Any help would be appreciated. thxs

Yes, yes yes! I've always prayed for unity and peace for Nigeria but after the senseless murders that have happened and I dare say, might happen again against the Southerners and Easterners by the Northerners who think for some ungodly reason that they are more superior than us, I am all for a separation. We have lost enough of our people in the North.

If I might add, the Northerners remind me of the murderous KKK clan of the US who thought that they were more superior than the blacks, or the Nazi's who thought that their race was more superior.

You can try to suppress the oppressed, but when they stand together and scream ENOUGH, an uprising, the kind that has never been seen, will echo all around the world. It's time for a mass exodus out of the land of evil!

marriage ceremonies are so overblown right now! People are going broke becos they went overboard on their wedding preparations. You have to remember that life goes on after this one day and u will need money to survive everyday!

Your wedding day is just for you and ur future spouse to take ur vows of together 4ever before God, and as God is everywhere including your backyard, what better place to have it than there?

If you have a big backyard, hire some chairs/tables (canopies too in case it rains) and flowers/decorations and find someone in the family with decoration sense to fix up that yard. ask your minister or pastor if he would mind officiating it in ur backyard.

Hire a DJ for the reception

You don't need a huge 5 or 10 step wedding cake. u can get someone in the family or friend who knows how to bake, to do ur cake (that is if u must have cake). the women in your family should cook the standard food all weddings must have. Jellof rice and chicken plus salad

After the service is over, reception can happen right away.

At the end of it all you would have saved a lot of money.

p.s. I'm talking from experience