₦airaland Forum

I will speak from experience. Soon after we got married, I found out that my husband was secretly in touch with his ex girlfriend. I always wondered who would call and hang up when I answered the phone. Mind you, she was living in another State while we were in another. Finally I confronted him and he fessed up to it and admitted that yes he had been talking with her but only on a platonic level. I wanted to believe him so bad but when I remember how she would hang up when I answer, I decided to investigate further so i recorded some of their conversations (in the US u can easily buy these little mics and install them in ur phone). Needless to say, i got the scoop. That fat cow was actually trying to get my husband back. Always reminding him what fun they used to have or how she missed him or how she wanted him to visit. And my husband will be there acting like a mumu saying "but u know I'm married" "don't say that" "well u ended the relationship" and so on.
I confronted him again with my evidence and told him that if he wanted this marriage he should cease all communication with this jezebel. i was mad as hell, this is a man that flipped when my ex boyfriend all the way in nigeria got my # from my sister and called to wish me well. My hubby was like "who the "f" is that"? "what the "f" is he calling u for", and here he was have a suggestive tet a tet with this big black gorilla. yes, when i think of this, it still makes my blood boil.
the last thing I did was call that husband snatcher and cuss her out.
So, @ poster, do ur investigation first before u act!

I don't know how it works in the UK but over here in the US, i was still able to use my Nigerian passport which is in my maiden name to travel to Nigeria. Then I had my Green Card and i always showed them (customs and immigration) both which was fine. i never bothered to try and change the name on my passport but now that I'm a US citizen, I'm applying for the ECOWAS passport/card and it wll be in my married name

Ujujoan:
^^^ Gotcha!     

_{Don't know why people need more than one account for sef} 

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FYI Ms. "gotcha", a few months ago I was banned for something so silly and i had to create a second profile so I could communicate with those moderators that banned me so they could reverse it which they did. My husband now uses the new profile I had created and I happened to be signed into  it this morning when I responded to Dereformer, I caught the mistake, deleted my response and re-posted it using my real NL username.
So, if your statement was meant to say I'm doing something illegal, please stop!

Dereformer:
Thanks a lot pslm 23
you have just won MTN recharge of N1,500.00

The line that caught my attention so much is line 5

let me have your email address so i can send the recharge pin to you.

I'm glad you found something u cld use from my write-ups. I can't really use that MTN recharge card since I live in the US, so if you don't mind, I'd like to gift it to my brother in Nigeria. Here's my email : winrow245@msn.com

chaircover:
@psalm good ones are you a poet by any chance. If you had been a man you would have toasted all the girls on your street finish

But that one about pillow e get as e be o! you know our people, dem go say na curse you dey curse dem. . . . . we fit afford buy one pillow each now

Madam cc, i do not consider myself a poet oh! I am a romantic at heart and have actually penned a few romantic poems. I just closed my eyes and thought about what i would like my man to say to me not just in a toast but everyday.

The one about the pillow is funny My husband actually used that line on me when he proposed and I still remember my reaction. I said "tufiakwa" (meaning God forbid) and then asked him if he's trying to say he intends to buy only one pillow for us.

Pick from any of these:

1. Our love may be like the ebb and tide of the ocean, but it will always flow
2. Through the good and bad, I want you to always know that I will be by your side
3. I pledge my all to you
4. Together, our love will grow into a bond too strong to break
5. Together, we will be better than we could be alone.
6. Together, we will share our love with the world.
7. May we grow old on one pillow

And finally,

To my wife, my bride, my joy
May your joys be as deep as the Ocean, and your troubles as light as its foam.
May we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Here's to you, my beautiful bride.
May our children be blessed with rich parents
Here's to my bride: she knows everything about me, yet loves me just the same

plappville:
"when he has finish using the clean once, he will go get my socks or else no work for that day. When he takes off his Dirty jeans he will leave his socks and boxer inside the jean, I wonder how the machine can wash a hiden socks properly."

^^^^^,  My husband "borrows" my socks anytime he has run out of clean socks and by the time i get it back, it's all stretched out and no longer as white as they were  . I've also told him time without number to empty his pockets before putting his pants in the washer and he should try to seperate his boxers and sock from inside the pants. Do you think he listens? HELL NO!  The other day, when the washer stopped, i saw wet papers all over the clothes in the machine and upon further investigation, found out that he left his pocket Bible in the pocket of his jeans. I told him God will deal with him for doing that! 

Ninapha:
New year! new habit.

I hv noticed since the new year that the new trend is calling of different pet names.

Ihv known "sweetie" as far as i know him now, sweetie, if i dont answer quick and ask why he is calling he would add so many names to its and it annoys me cos i have query for not answering any of the names: nnem, mama, nneoma, obim, honey, swt baby OMG, do i have to answer everthing? then he would kill me kpatakpata with "Uto m" meaning sweetie and he knows i hate the sound of that Uto m

ROTFLMAO!!

bhusayor:
na wa o, why are some guys here being so defensive?Not every woman has a 'big heart' like the poster, (at least,i dont), any bf dat expects me to give all the time should be ready to see me as the 'head' in the relationship, you guys are so quick to point out that you want a submissive lady hu u want to exercise 'authority' over,yet you dont want to take responsibilities!if you really want to be in charge,then do all it takes to be in charge! N all the 'he doesnt ask,i do those tins outta love' is BS,he's definately enjoyin it! plus he doesnt need to ask becos he knows u have a big heart already,at least he could tell you to stop or drop some dough once in a while to support, There's nothing wrong in giving in a rlt as a gurl(i buy gifts for my fiance once in a while)but please dont play double roles SOLE PROVIDER AND THE CARING AND SUBMISSIVE WIFE TO BE at the same time

True Talk!

[quote author=Tink_sh link=topic=580012.msg7505833#msg7505833 date=1294723723]Poster, thank you so much for raising this subject. I recently was emotionally manipulated
(This is the MO of most jobless men. They are good at emotionally manipulating gullible, naive women)
He guilt tripped me
(Men know that they can easily influence a woman to do anything for them by laying the "guilt trip" thing on them)
He promised with everything
(they can lie too and make promises they know they have no intention of keeping) )
he refused to work the 'lower' jobs while he studied
(once they have seen that they can get "free" money without breaking a sweat, they relax and wait for manna to fall from their GF's pockets).
he got mad at me for asking for it back
(typical! they get angry and then make u feel guilty for asking for your money back and make you feel like u've done something wrong).
, I thought i was doing the right thing.I would strongly warn you to stop giving him everything. As somone said before, if you can afford it go ahead but if you cant, do not let him manipulate you into giving it to him. He needs to get off his butt and be a man, geez and some guys wonder why we harden our hearts. My prayers are with you.[/quote](Be wise!)

Genius100:
Most women are self centered and selfish, period. It's amazing how they can't even stick to the FACTS of this case. THE GUY JUST GRADUATED AND DOES NOT HAVE A STABLE JOB YET. For any sensible person, this is the instructive point. The guy is not lazy, he does not habitually depend on his woman, he reluctantly accepted some money when he was at a low point. Yet, these selfish and self centered women can't see reason. For those talking about being married, please spare us. Like the bible says, if you are not faithful with little, you can't be faithful with much. If helping out your boyfriend is a taboo, not much will change after you get married. Even if you help him out, you will do it with a bad attitude. This is 2010. It does not take physical power to make money. It takes brains which is possessed by men and women. Yet, these women are crying about a girlfriend helping out his boyfriend but they see absolutely nothing wrong with the reverse.

Small time now, women will be complaining about men cheating. Why won't men cheat when they are dealing with selfish and self centered creatures? Why should men deprive themselves of the extra pleasurable activity of yanshing other women when the creatures they call wives are as self centered and selfish as they come. Infact, any man wey get wife wey dey display the kind behavior expressed in this thread by a lot of women and does not go out and relieve himself with other women is a damn fool.

FYI, this 2011.
So becos we are of the opinion that the poster should stop giving her BF money for various reasons, we have all become selfish and sel centered and our husbands should cheat on us? na wa for u oh! That was a childish remark! 
There's a big difference between helping someone out and  being taken for granted. If everything was peachy between the poster and her BF financially, she wouldn't have come crying for advice here on NL. Obviously she has seen something which we can't and it is enough to raise doubt and fear in her mind about him. Do you think, after reading her post, that she wants to continue "helping him out" She's tired of it and wants it to stop. She gave just one instance but my bet is he keeps asking and she's getting fed up.
The BF does not have a stable job yet BUT he has a job abi? what has happened to cutting one's coat according ur size? why can't he save like other struggling Nigerian students abroad are doing so he won't have to depend on his GF?

I'm a dual citizen of the US and Nigeria. I know that Nigeria has adopted a new passport but I would like to know if i can still travel with my old passport that hasn't expired?

Thank you

dayokanu:
Head of Household only come into play when they are married. Girlfriend taking money from BF should be outlawed using your logic

If the BF offers the money for whatever reason, then GF should take it. If BF has told GF, "Babe no worry, i will give u anything u want" (this is the line men use to woo girls)  then GF shld feel no qualms taking his money. But I have seen a situation where the girl depended on her BF for financial support and after a while he started grumbling, and babe just got up, took her certificate to some companies and landed a janded job better than her BF sef. So my dear dayokanu, men like giving money to the women becos of their over inflated ego which makes them think they can use cash to control a woman's emotion by either providing or withdrawing the money.

jennykadry:
Then you take the GADDAMN money, no be you kill messiah

But seriously how do these men that take boxers/rent/chop/car/school money from gurls feel?

What wastes of manhood

Good point Jenny

ifyalways:
See dis guy follow dey yarn opata hia . . .Ol'boy no let me open your dirty nyash hia 
@Topic,Any relationship whereby one person is doing all the giving and the other on the receiving end is not healthy.
Food however is nothing but loaning out money  when we are not married . . .Chukwu ekwela ihe ojoo,Never!!!
When u are down financially,mine is to encourage u to do side runs/jobs ,feed u,get u those basic necessities(when i can afford) and lol . . .good s.ex to keep u going but money . . . hahahahaha,what jokes 
I wont expect money from a BF either but If he gives . . .

Tell dem oh Ify!

OAM4J:
Yes I think you are harsh (may be not evil), though I have never had to rely on any woman finances but if all women are like you, I will never be married (for what? ), thankfully all women are not like you.

Yup, they may all not be like me but i hope those that aren't still have some common sense in them and can tell when they are being fed a load of bull crap all in the name of love.

all these men saying women are selfish for telling the poster to stop giving the guy money, na una sabi! Y'all shld stop comparing men giving their girlfriends / wives money to women giving their boyfreinds money. there's a big difference there as in we humans have been programmed to believe and rely on men being the provider. Men do not hesitate to tout the popular saying "I'm the man, I'm the head of this household, I'm the provider, I'm the one wearing the pants" when it comes to money issues etc. So, my thing is if you say u r all of that and above, do not let the woman give you money, be the man you claim to be. Even when she offers, say "NO BABE, I GOT THIS" Work 3 menial jobs if you must and if thats all there is out there so you will always have money in your pocket. It's one thing if they are married and maybe have a joint account then maybe the man can willfully spend as he wants, but as long as they are still in the dating mode, the money is hers and she needs to save it.

Someone asked what if they were married and he lost his job? Well, tough luck! If he lost his job, he needs to go out everyday and keep searching for a new one. And I'm sure that he would have received a severance pay or at least saved up some money before getting the boot. Of course she will carry the load on her shoulder but it should be only for a while. Working married couples that i've seen and know, share the responsibility of the day to day running of their homes.  My husband takes care of our mortgage payments and car notes while i take care of the utility bills and food shopping. We both take care of fueling up our cars and doing the maintenance. He lost his job a while back and i shouldered his share of responsibilites. As soon as he got another job and made his first pay, I passed it back to him with happiness.

Some people may say i'm evil or harsh, but when life has taught u a few valuable lessons when it comes to relationships, you tend to be cynical and cautious when it comes to issues regarding money, boyfriend, girlfriend.

Years and years ago, I once dated a guy that was struggling to make ends meet while I had a stable well paying job. I ended up supporting his black as-s financially, mentally, physically and all. He promised to marry me and declared undying love for me. I even went as far as giving this buffoon all the deutschmark (this was before Euro was adopted) my sister would send me every month only for him to turn around and marry another girl based in London right under my nose. Apparently, he and this chick had been boyfriend and girlfriend before she got admission to a school in London. She left and i entered the picture unknowingly. I always wondered how he was able to pay for his flat in a GRA section of Kano when he was jobless only to find out that the flat belonged to his wife and she let him stay there while she was gone. there was absolutley no indication that a woman lived in that flat when i first visited this devil's flat. He was such a scheming, conniving SOB. Once his estranged sister told me that he got married in a registry in Ikoyi, I saw red.   He told me he was travelling to Lagos for several potential job interviews with a few media houses and he might be gone for a month. I gave him all my pay check and more deutschmark so he will be comfortable. Shey this bas - tard used my money to honeymoon with his wife,  Oloshi!  

@ poster, the moral of this story is this: STOP GIVING YOUR BOYFRIEND ANY MONEY. Don't let him become too reliant on u doing stuff for him, he will take it for granted,  he has already started showing u his true colors by reluctantly giving u back the money u loaned him. That's how it begins. It's one thing for u to cook and share with him but stop with the money giving. You are not Bank of England!

@ Ileke-IdI, what is your reason for copying and pasting those articles on this forum? what has what you've posted got to do with the topic? You made the same hateful postings a while back and because you were shut down, now u want to bring it here? What has the president, drug traffickers, Ojukwu or the religious riots got to do with the case of Rose, Ben and Okechuku? Yoruba no dey kill Yoruba? Hausa no dey kill Hausa? Calabar no dey kill Calabar? pray tell, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TRYING TO GET AT? You want people to digress from the topic and start bashing the igbos abi? will that make you sleep any better at night or help u put food on ur table? You need to grow the f*ck up and stop being an inciteful hateful, trouble causing racist! It's either u say something meaningful or STFU and keep wallowing in your hate of the Igbo people.

This past weekend, we woke to hear of thousands of birds dropping dead from the sky in certain states in the US. They blamed it on the smoke from fire crackers that were shot to celebrate the New Year.
Today we are hearing stories from all over the world of birds dropping dead and fishes dying. Also, in a state in Canada, the residents woke to find their river had turned green.

For those reading this and living at home (Nigeria), have u guys seen or heard of any strange happenings apart from the senseless killings going on?
There's a preacher on the radion here in NJ that has declared that the world is ending in 2011. His name is Harold Camping if anybody wants to research him. People have called him a liar, false prophet, etc but when u listen to him, it makes u wonder

Well, I guess we all have to clean up our acts and make our ways stright with God. In short, I'm re-dedicating my life again to Him.

May God help us all in these end times.

jennykadry:
Ok this got me RTLFMSGBO

@pslm23

I have to agree with you on the seeking attention part, are you sure we both are not married to the same person? this dude practically screams in the toilet when he cant get it out, the other day he called me @ work and told me his stomach is all bloated and stuff, see me running back home thinking say my man was dying just for me to come back and saw him busy eating bread and drinking coke. I asked him what happened he said he has not opened his bowels for 2 days now and he reckons sugar will help him in the movement as well as bread,  . . .  like WTF, as if that one was not enough, he asked me if he needs to take some suppositories . and since I am in the medical field I should know better. Like seriously they are peeps @ the hospital with serious cases needing urgent attention, I could not believe I drove all the way down to attend to some dude eating bread and drinking coke

ROTFLMFAO!! Jen, e be like say our hubbys are the same oh! brothers from a different mother, i tot my husband was the only one to pull the "I can't poop" stunt.so u too have been a recipient? When I got married i never bargained on getting a big baby but that's what i'm stuck with. if he has small headache, my hubby thinks its a tumor.if he is constipated, he thinks it is another tumor. leg pain is blood clot,  i can go on nd on. Haba!

1. I went sky diving   with my hubby in the middle of summer. I tot I was going to die, I will never attempt it again. Sky diving is an oyibo sport not african! na who send me!!

2. My girlfriends and I went to a beach bar during summer and they dared me to do the Makosa dance   . Now mind you, i have a decent sized behind and as soon as I started dancing, for one moment there i forgot i was a married woman. Can u imagine the stares and the men that were clamouring to dance with me? Needless to say, for the rest of the time my girls and i spent there, we had several drinks but never paid for any   ,  black men and the power of the behind!  

jennykadry:
Waking me up in the middle of the night or should I say midmorning for some awilo lokomba show. Seriously I don't joke with my sleep and also don't appreciate someone waking me up with his lips and then asking me one yeye question with one kain husky voice. . . . " are you awake?" . . . . . ofcourse I am awake who wouldn't be? not with you poking me from behind with hands allover me.

2. Very disorganized, comes back flinging shoes, jeans, shirt everywhere infact I have to practically jump over his clothes in the living room to get to the kitchen. at the ends of the day he still comes back to me asking me where his blue stockings are? if you cant find the bleeping stockings why don't you make do with another one? he'd refuse to take another one instead he will turn the cupboards in the spareroom upside down cos he is looking for one blue socks.

3. Wanting to cuddle at every given time, seriously when I am on my periods I'd rather be left alone, don't want nobody around me. Ok I can relate with the cuddling in obodo oyibo and on the streets of naija, but not inside the church in naija for heaven's sakes during sermon the dude had his hands around me, giving me kisses and nibbling my ear. I pinched him once to stop it and wait atleast till we are outside the church, but for where infact my warnings motivated him the more. You can see the pastor peeping at us thru his glasses trying to concentrate on his sermon.


4. The dude calls me 50times a day, even back then when I was still in school all I do is switch off my fone cos this dude rings me up a million times on his days off to ask me if he could come pick me up @ school, For heavens sake I went to school with my car, how can he come pick me up with his bikonu?

@ Jenny, u no go kill me with laff oh! I can relate to what ur going through sha! Sometimes our men think we should be happy they r showing us so much affection and attention but they don't know that there's a right place and time for everything, so sometimes, there "show of love" can be very aggravating and exasperating. 

This year has been chaotic and full of deaths.

I pray 2011 shows us some mercy.

sexylad:
This one i hate with a passion, he would wait only when we have visitors so that he can start discussing kitchen issues "baby that bag of rice i bought will last mor than 2 months right? what about the yams they are good not so? Ah fit die me

,  men and their over inflated ego.

I know HPV is the virus that causes cancer of the cervix, what i would like to know is if it also causes infertility

Wishing you the same Siena!

I work with a Filipina and an Indian. The filipina is an older woman who looks like Michael Jackson after his transformation. She is as skinny as a toothpick and yet, she constantly thinks she's fat and always asking me if her butt is getting bigger. I'm like WTF?? which butt? she just has bones there and nothing. Her other annoying trait is her attitude of knowing EVERYTHING.  
The Indian is another case. She's nasty, dirty to an unimaginable degree.   she sneezes loudly with her mouth open and right on her computer screen, keyboard and mouse and then she calls me to help solve a problem on her computer. Of course i find an excuse not to help her because only God knows what kind of germs are breeding on her machines.   The other thing is she is a messy eater. she eats messy foods with her hands and then touches her mouse with those hands. one time i was trying to help her solve a problem on her puter, and when i touched her mouse, i had to jerk my hand away . the mouse was crusted and caked with all kinds food.
The last thing she does that irks me is her constant brown nosing   and sucking up to the boss so she'll come out looking like the most hard working person in my department. Why r Indians like that? why do they always feel like they have to compete and brown nose? *hissing furiously*  

It is never a good thing to wish evil and death on anybody. Ikemba is an important person in the Igbo community and a thousand years from now, his name will still be mentioned in the history of Igbos.

I'm only 36 and wasn't even born during the Biafran era but my father served in the military and my mom was a nurse on the biafran side too (that's how she met my father). All I've heard since I was a child was how great a man Ikemba was for trying to liberate his people. When I think of him I think of MLK. He also tried to fight for the rights of black people in the US.

So, my thing is, some people might not like him or respect what he did but that does not call for death wishes. I pray he pulls through but if God decides that his time is up then so be it. His name will still be spoken for many many years to come. When you talk about the history of Nigeria, believe me, Ikemba's name will be mentioned.