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Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 10:04pm On Aug 15
D1uncle:


Is best to call them on phone. Use a different name and tell them you just moved into the property and you don’t want them to keep sending you those mails

Sounds dodgy.
Why would you suggest OP use a different name? Is the ‘use of a different name’ not meant for criminally-minded people?

4 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 9:55pm On Aug 15
[quote author=deept post=131516001][/quote]

Many thanks deept.
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 9:55pm On Aug 15
dustydee:

It is highly likely that the difference between the options will not be much so I'd go with the most convenient option for me.

Thanks so much
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 9:54pm On Aug 15
giselle237:

I would look for a way to convert from USD to NGN. This is the only method that would see you do not lose as much.
If you go with changing USD to GBP then to naira, you lose twice because you have changed twice. … ie. from usd to gbp to naira… the value drops fastest with this

Thank you very much for this.
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 9:54pm On Aug 15
Autophys1:
Hello everyone, please can anyone help me with a copy of a letter to send to the TV licensing agency to inform them that I do not watch live TV and I am not interested in paying their fees.
Thank you.

No letters needed.
Just go to the website and register that you do not watch live tv. (I hope you actually, do not watch any live programming).
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 8:10am On Aug 15
Please, skip if this question seem a no-brainer.
I have $1000 to send to mama at home.
Should I change it to £, then convert to naira (via LemFi or Azimo or Moneygram or Nala - other BDCs exist) and send to her.
Or
Do I put the $ in an envelope, send through a friend travelling. Then mama can go to Aboki Mallam and change the $?

Which one offers more value for money please?

Thank you.☺️
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 9:03am On Jul 29
justwise:


By the public especially the ethnic minority, i understnad that we have certian level of resentment towards the police because of their actions in the past but in general police are not getting a fair deal.

Yes that guy deserves more than just a kick on the head

The dangers of a one side story.
MissJekyll here hasn’t bothered to watch the publicly available videos on the beating the police officers were subjected to by those thugs.

That police office was clearly dazed and befuddled and kicking was the least he could have done in that situation. It’s a miracle he did not discharge any firearms (if any).
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 11:39pm On Jul 28
missjekyll:


I was saying that at the moment that the man was kicked in the head and stamped on with jack boots, he was already prone and not resisting.

That was excessive force even deadly force and that's why the police officer was suspended .

Policing is an honorable profession especially in the UK where they police by consent. They ve taken a hit in recent years but are trying to build back up a reputation.
Videos showing unwarranted use of force only undermines that.

Just out of curiosity. Did you watch just the 1 video which was originally released, or have you watched the other videos, including the one released by the Manchester evening news?

I still maintain that it is always best to have a complete picture before making decision on actions of the UK police.

Policing by consent indeed…. So yobs and thugs can beat up the police, but the police cannot use force to restrain the unruly misfits.
You could argue that the police officer who did the kicking was dazed and confused and terrified from the beating he received from that thug. He was clearly rattled and dazzled after that thug attacked him, and his colleague, in the 1st instance.

2 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 3:37pm On Jul 28
mayowa94:
Good afternoon, I am planning to apply for visiting visa for my mother in law, what are the documents need and can anyone guide on how to put the application? She is currently working as a teacher (Government)

You mean your mother inlaw is planning to get a UK visitor visa to visit you.
On your side, if you are writing a letter in support of her application, you need to be clear which support you are going to render. This may include air fares, local transport, Accomodation, visa application costs, feeding etc. Your wife should not forget to submit documents which clearly establishes their relationship. A birth certificate should suffice.

On her (applicant’s) side, she needs to prove a strong ties to home country. The onus is o her to prove that she isn’t just wanting to japa, but that she only wishes to visit and will return. She could prove ties to home by: Evidence of full employment (it’s great she is actively working on Govt as a teacher). When my MiL was coming a couple of years ago, we got the Head master of the primary school she was teaching at to write a letter of introduction. We even got the local government education secretary to write too.
We submitted her letter of 1st appointment, a couple of promotion letters and most importantly, her last appointment.
We printed her 1 year bank statement, which had a closing balance of 8,00 naira. We highlighted every single salary transaction on the statement. That means every single salary credit into her account was highlighted. The aim was so that the ECO can cross reference and prove that yes, she is in active employment as a primary school school teacher.

In our letter of introduction and support, we made it very clear that the whole visit was at zero cost to her. We proved that by showing our own bank statements - showing enough money. In our introduction letter, we made rough cost estimates: Air flight, train from airport to house, visa costs, transport cost for visa biometrics extra. Our letter had a near-real cost estimates, and our bank account statement showed we had enough to cater for that.


Very importantly, we needed to prove our own legal residency status- we used our BRP for that.

Mama got 6 months on that occasion.

I will wait for others to share their expert.

12 Likes 5 Shares

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 3:23pm On Jul 28
I think it was Chimamanda Adiche that captured me with her speech about the Dangers of a one sided story.

After watching more and more footages of the events at the Manchester airport, I have resolved further to always try and hear/see/watch the other side of a story before reaching conclusions.

As an aside:
Why do/would someone want to join the police in this UK?
The way I have seen silly kids abuse and insult the police is crazy. And as a police man, if you want to carry out your lawful duty, people will just bring out phone and record full length videos but post 20 seconds clips on social media.

I think the UK public needs to always wait to hear the 2nd side of any police issue story.

Good afternoon my Naija people I’m the UK.

4 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 7:33pm On Jul 13
Goodenoch:


Exactly. Send the freight money. Donate the clothes to Salvation Army or another charity here. Simple.

Salvation Army even has bins around in many large towns/cities that you can simply put your clothes into without even interacting with anyone.

Bro, are you the twin brother of Ms Kemi (the conservative MP)’s husband? Or you are simply the opposite?


Thank you so much for this recommendation.
You and Jedisco just helped me see clearly.

The beauty of Nairaland. Thank you Goodenoch. Thank you Jesdisco. You guys rock.

This is another reason for staying for this long on this thread, even after chopping ban previously for daring to call out Justwise on TV licence debate. Justwise, we may not always agree on TV licence issues, but I love you bro. Keep on the great job.

This thread is a throve of information.
Thanks to all people contributing positively.
Cheers.

11 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 7:23pm On Jul 13
jedisco:


Just wondering... would the people back home think its worth the cost? £120 plus sundry costs would come upto 250k. They might very well prefer that sum being given to them than sending clothes over.
Remember to some, their perception of taking clothes from someone known is different from buying okrika.



Thank you very much. The very exact recommendation you made in this post was followed.
I have chucked all the items in the donation point located at a big Sainsbury’s store near where we live.

Guess who has N240,600 converted this afternoon via LemFi - (other apps are available)?

That £120 is now in Naira. The crediting of different Naira accounts started this afternoon.

The type of prayers me and my wife and children have received today, the goodwill will last a lifetime, I think.

Thank you so much for that not-so-little suggestion. Turns out it’s a win-win for everyone. Thank you Jedisco.

17 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 9:48am On Jul 13
Help needed please.

Who has any life hack on how to arrange used clothes for shipping?
We just decluttered. Lots and lots of used clothes. Two huge Ghana must go bags. Both ours and the kids’. A lot are in pristine condition.
We thought to package and send to Naija. Relatives & relatives kids will greatly benefit (we think). We have found a shipping company I east London which can ship 1 big Ghana must go bag to Abuja for £120. We think it’s probably worth the cost.

Any suggestions or hack on how best to maximise space to fit in plenty clothes?

Any other suggestions (including any alternative known cheaper shippers) highly welcome please

Thank you for reading
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 10:19am On May 31
Lexusgs430:


Absolutely nothing to cash out ...... The NCD you have, is the reason your insurance premium is considerably cheaper.......

Protect your NCD when renewing you quote and keep building it ....... I have over 20 years of NCD, but I think it's pegged at 10 years....... Well done, keep collecting your precious NCD........🤣😂😂

Thank you very much
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 6:00am On May 30
kumbhuru:
Please who can put me through the visa application process? What documents would I need for the HCW visa. I have COS

Start here:
https://www.gov.uk/health-care-worker-visa

And jump in here:
https://www.gov.uk/health-care-worker-visa/documents-you-must-provide

2 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 5:45pm On May 25
Hello people,
Please, how important is No Claims Bonus?
I have had 5 years NO claims. I am about to (painfully) renew my car insurance.
Is the No claims meant to be building and building indefinitely? Or is there some time to cash out?

@lexusgs430
@davechapelle
@TheGuyFromHR
@wonlasewonimi
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 8:37pm On May 18
Hello good people.
Anyone got any plug for the Fury vs Usyk Bicing match tonight?
Please…
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 5:48am On Oct 11, 2023
rayralph:


The guy is not ready to listen to good advice or possible resolution.

He more interested in validating the thoughts in his mind.



What makes you think he isn’t ready?
I think for him to put it out here means he is actively seeking help. No?

10 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 12:11am On Oct 11, 2023
PalestianIsrael:


Wow! Interesting. So because I reached out to you as per your gracious offer to unmask yourself based on personal experience and I replied with my feelings (or my own truth) and even told we’re seeking professional counselling and you ghosted me afterwards means I’m not ready to listen to good advice (or validating my own thoughts).

Sorry Sir, that someone who’s 50% of a union dare voice out his fear and trepidation.
1. Created an anonymous account
2. I took advice on physical separation to avoid a repeat.
3. Opened up regarding my fears
4. Listened to your personal account and experience

But God forbid that me that saw my eyes flash before my eyes should open up and tell you what doesn’t align with your personal view. You kept on pushing that I’m not a saint and madam is not all bad, even though I owed up to the causing emotional pain. You don’t know if I have ADHD or any condition which prevents me from fulfilling the emotional needs etc.

But because I must accept your advice hook line and sinker, even at the risk of OUR personal safety and long term viability, I’m thus “interested in validating my own thoughts”.

Well done sir.

PS - thanks all for your comments/suggestions. We will seek professional help (from a distance) and follow the process. May God help all of us.


I hope you are not mixing up rayralph and RalpJean.


Are you?
Please we are 2 different people.
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 6:25pm On Oct 09, 2023
PalestianIsrael:



First time…push and struggle.
Second time…slaps and blows.
Third time…madam brought knives saying I should make the work easier .


Need to get out while I’m still alive. Crazy world.



You see why I always Insist that there are 2 sides to every story?

From the ‘horse’s mouth’: Madam did not bring the knives to attack him. She brought the knives to give them to him to ququma kill her.
In other words, she prefers him to kill her physically by stabbing her to death, rather than the pain of the emotional abuse (her thoughts) that he is subjecting her to.

Bro. I am a man like you. I am not ‘siding’ with the wife. I kid you not, your story is similar, very similar to my experience 8-months after arriving the UK. And like I said, it’s >10 years and we’re still married.
Don’t give up on her. That emotional support she craves, it’s within you to meet her at the point of her need.

I sincerely believe you can still make things work, if you put your heart/mind/resources to it.

I am happy to ‘unmask’ myself from this faceless forum, and share experiences with you. I am jus my a DM away.

13 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 4:01pm On Oct 09, 2023
rayralph:


She’s probably feeling lonely in a strange country.

She’s all you have and most likely venting all on you.

Invest more time in supporting your wife emotionally.

Take time off from work, Travel together.

Christian or Muslim ? , seek counseling and pray together.

Don’t involve the Police yet


Why not start all over again with your wife, just like old times when you first met her.

@PalestianIsrael:
Hear! Hear!!

Do an introspection. You are not faultless. Is it possible that you are the visa sponsor. You work. She works too. Your work is really energy-sapping, hers is (energy-sapping)^10…. (For those who hated maths (like me), that means Energy-sapping raised to the power of 10.

You get home, you are tired. She is very tired too. She needs some help in the Kitchen, but you are in the sitting room, pressing phone and browsing internet .

She painfully prepares the meal, still very fatigued. You are still pressing phone.
She asks for help, you ignore…’Afterall I’m the husband, she is the wife.

Then later in the night, you want to turn her into a construction site, for ‘construction work’.

Because she is the wife, who is expected to be loyal, she succumbs. You get up, go on top. Your entire 70+Kg on her. You construct your construction. Discharge akamu. Snore off to sleep.

6:00 am, both of you go off to work.

9:00 pm, you return home.

She is still carrying over the fatigue from yesterday. You too is tired.
She asked for some help to prepare dinner. You ignore. You keep pressing phone. And smiling. And chatting with friends and well wishers. She is there, all very lonely. In a new country. No friends no mates.

She asks you to please drop the phone and give her some attention. You totally ignore.

10:00 pm, she hasn’t served dinner. You are boiling within. But you still kept pressing phone.

She let out her vexation, and tell you how wicked you are.
…. And everything escalated.


PS:
The scenario above is mine.
As someone who came to the UK a couple of years ago, the above is roughly my experience.
I thought my wife had grown horns, because while we were newly married in Nigeria, she was always cooking diners making breakfast. Packaging lunch for me to take to work.

When we arrived UK, she ‘denied’ me all those. It was rough at first. But (to the Glory of God), here we are today, >12 years in marriage. Understanding ourselves and progressing together, as a couple.

31 Likes 1 Share

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 1:55pm On Oct 09, 2023
PalestianIsrael:
Hi Elders,

Had to create a new account to hide my identity.

Need urgent advice. Domestic Violence.

I’m male based in UK.
Wife and I have been having arguments/fights.
Things have gotten physically unfortunately.
She says I trigger her by being on my own when we quarrel about couple issues or when I’m with my phone. She’s told me to leave the house. When I come back at night to sleep or when I’m using my phone/laptop around her, she will come and disturb me and start struggling with phone etc. She has smashed my phone.
I’m really confused. Please help!!!

Dear PalestianIsrael,

1. To come on this forum to seek for help means you are not happy with the status quo.

2. Kindly note that a lot of folks on this thread who do not know anything, whatsoever about you (or your wife) will jump on your post to write different stuff, informed 100% only by your own (one-sided) story.

3. Whereas you have presented your side of the story, I hope you do know (and appreciate) that there is a second side to every story.

4. Again, I hope you appreciate that we’re your wife to create a fake name, on a faceless forum to state her side of the same story, it may not necessarily be the same as yours.

5. Kindly remember that Nobody, absolutely NOBODY writes his/her story and portrays himself/herself as the villain. That means your narrative is only 1 side.

6. Before you take any advice/suggestions/recommendations from total strangers (like myself), first ask yourself:
What do you really want? Do you want the marriage/relationship to end? Or you would absolutely wish to Love your wife as the woman you knew & Loved before?

7. Have you considered that you are probably too engrossed in your phone & laptop that you have neglected your wife?

8. Can you (hand-on-heart) say that the phone/laptop activities that irks her are vital activities? Do you spend hours and hours scrolling and chatting on Nairaland (for example) while your wife is right there, seeking physical/emotional attention ?

Etc…

11 Likes 1 Share

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 1:32pm On Aug 27, 2023
BuildingProject:


Milk type no matter.
The most important is the milk to change the taste of the kolaq cause it is bitter(Agbo). And so that it can form a perfect smoothie and you can drink it in her presence without you questioned about the buildingproject you wan start. 😂🤣🤣😂



Bro... I wan participate for this project ohhh
my issh be say I have never taken alcohol in my life. And the Kolaq is alcoholic, right?
ANy substitute?
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 11:37am On Jul 17, 2023
koonbey:
Audacity of Equality. Lol.
[b][/b]
Audacity that makes you hustle to another person’s country and say ‘how much does the average Brit contribute’.

Audacity that foreigners dare not claim in your own country and even you dare not claim in states that are not of your ‘origin’, often on pain of death.

The tone-deafness and arrogance in holding others to standards we don’t hold ourselves to is so astonishing, honestly.


That you, Koonbey (as an individual) do not hold those standards does not in any way mean we (all) do not hold those standards. You should rather use ‘I’ instead of ‘we’ in your last sentence.

3 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 11:33am On Jul 17, 2023
koonbey:


Just one question, please: How does this policy violate the Equality Act, 2010?

So long as you want to justify British Policies, using NIGERIAN standards, you will never get it right in this debate.

For you to suggest that Legal and law abiding Nigerian Immigrants in the UK should not be treated as equals and Infact should not have ‘audacity of equality’ proves how you want to judge the British society using (your) Nigerian standards.

9 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 11:14am On Jul 17, 2023
koonbey:
Audacity of Equality. Lol.

Audacity that makes you hustle to another person’s country and say ‘how much does the average Brit contribute’.

Audacity that foreigners dare not claim in your own country and even you dare not claim in states that are not of your ‘origin’, often on pain of death.

The tone-deafness and arrogance in holding others to standards we don’t hold ourselves to is so astonishing, honestly.


Again, you got it wrong.
We are NOT holding the British/British Govt to NIGERIAN Standards.

We are holding the British Government to much publicised BRITISH STandards.

I think this post of yours summarises why you got it spectacularly wrong in this debate.

It is not us who laid down the standards to the Brits. We are/were not the ones who enacted the Equality Act 2010. It is the BRITISH.
If you can’t see that these policies make the British (Government) look like (the) hypocrites (that they possibly are) then I’m sorry. There is absolutely zero point debating this with you.

Isn’t it interesting that even the best debater on this issue (my opinion) a certain @Zahra29 could not deny the unfairness of double taxation?

7 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 6:33pm On Jul 16, 2023
koonbey:


As usual, the primary school insults instead of the one simple question you had to answer.

You want answers to your questions, whereas you have done poorly in putting across your points, or answering other posers.
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 6:31pm On Jul 16, 2023
Peerielass:


You were rude with your [b]bla bla bla [/b]comment. It was totally uncalled for.

Everything you’ve highlighted above is paid for by both immigrants and citizens and like I said before, see the double taxation as you call it as the small price you have to pay to get British citizenship for you and your entire household. In 5 years time when you finally get BC, you will look back and say to yourself, yes it was worth it. And then you will Japa to Australia and start the whole process all over again 👍

To your other question as to whether it is fair? Nothing in life is fair - that’s why some people are born with a multitude of disabilities through no fault of theirs and others are healthy. Some are born rich and others are born into abject poverty and their entire life is a struggle. When life deals you lemons, you make lemonade and quit complaining.


Bla bla bla was referring to the so-called 'mean-tested' whereas the example I gave was anything but means tested.
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 6:16pm On Jul 16, 2023
Zahra29:


Here I am speaking for my "master" again, but do people know that the NHS was founded in 1948
It's not just immigrants putting pressure on the NHS.

{Then how is it the case that it is ONLY the immigrants that are being double-taxed to find the NHS? }


Fact is the NHS would struggle even from the British population alone,

{Does that not call for a critical appraisal of the system and an overhaul to make it fit-for-purpose?
Does that not therefore mean that the British citizens too should contribute their own quota to make it work?
Does that make it justifiable that the solution is to tax immigrants more, while not taxing Citizens?}


So it's not about blame or discrimination, but one of practical solutions.

{Practical solution is to gaslight immigrants?
To me, a practical solution would entail increasing UK exports. Improving UK manufacturing. Revamping UK industries. Investing. Getting a lo more of UK citizens to get off their back side and work.}


Or would you rather the other solution where you don't have to pay IHS

{I would rather have that I pay health tax only ONCE, not pay twice.}

2 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 6:00pm On Jul 16, 2023
Peerielass:


No need to be rude!

You are assuming this BC has a child lol. What happens to those that are childless either by design or choice or those that rarely fall ill hence never needing the NHS. What category do they fall into in your analogy? These are people that have been paying taxes since graduating from Uni at 22 and are now earning significantly higher income that precludes them from[b][/b] claiming any benefits. I bet they are more hard done in than you and your IHS surcharge.

See that immigration surcharge as the price you pay for all the additional benefit you receive for being in the UK. You can sleep with your eyes closed at night, no noise pollution, you don’t have to pay N1million per term to educate your children, 24hr power supply, excellent transport links, need I say more?

No one was rude.

You mentioned 25 hour electricity.
And security.
And Education.
On the surface, that sounds like a good argument.

But,

You failed to realise that IHS is a line item.

Electricity is billed separatealt. The immigrant pays for that.

Security is a separate line item, the immigrant is taxed for that

Education is a separate line item. Look at the two pictures I posted, the immigrant is taxed for that too.

So… those things are not free..

The Health Surcharge is a line item of its own. And the immigrant is taxed for that, IN ADDITION to what has been paid already in IHS.

Unless your argument is that DOUBLE TAXATION of legal immigrants is fair.
Is that your argument ?
Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 5:53pm On Jul 16, 2023
koonbey:


No, actually, the burden is on you as the person who asserted.

Justifiability is an inherently subjective term and there's no possibility of logical evaluation if you don't supply objective standards against which the actions in question can be judged.

But we all know why you cannot mention any countries, and it's because you know your arguments won't stand up to scrutiny if compared to what's obtainable elsewhere.

Therefore they hold no water other than as an outlet for whingeing, which you're entitled to and which is frankly understandable, so I'll dip here with a reminder that just because something is onerous or unfavourable to you doesn't mean it is unjustifiable.

Debating with you is pointless. Speaking so much grammar with no substance.

Keep it simple bro.

Is it fair that immigrants are double-taxed? Paying twice (or sometime 3x) for exactly the same service?
Is that the idea of a fair, Global Britain?

6 Likes

Travel / Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RalphJean: 5:50pm On Jul 16, 2023
Zahra29:


Not in all cases. For example if they had a spouse or partner who wasn't working a minimum number of hours, their child wouldn't qualify for 30 hours.

There's also a 2 child cap on the number of children you can receive child benefits for.So a British family with 4 British children would only be able to claim on the first 2. That's not fair on the family or children, but this is what was introduced by the Tory gov, along with other painful austerity measures on their citizens.

Zahra29:
Before you x-Ray the cap on number of children Etc.
Do you agree that a tax-paying tier-2 immigrant who has paid double tax. Who works full time. Spouse works full time too. Whose wife too has been taxed twice.
Yet
Their one (1) 3-year old child that was born in the UK cannot access 30 hour per week of ‘free’ nursery.

Is that fair?

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