₦airaland Forum

Oahray: Some people go just give themselves heartache for nothing. Instead of trying to make it work, some peeps work their asses off looking for signs of cheating.

If they finally find one (real or imagined), what next?

Then you decide whether the relationship is worth salvaging or not by talking to your partner and finding out what he/she wants especially if married. Better to know than to suddenly contact an STD or worse still HIV.

This Femi fani kayode is a myopic thinker and a serious olodo if this is how he thinks. As if the model put the gun in his hand and pulled the trigger.
Be careful in your anger not to sin and dnt let it get into rage so that you don't end up doing what u'll regret for the rest of your life. Make the right choices people.

Okay! So, what if they have money? How does that affect the price of koolikooli in aboki's kiosk. Abeg all of una parkwell jare! Make I see beta news!

debrief08: I come in peace oh ( Oga Richy permit me to copy your phrase)
I wonder sometimes when some comments are made here, I am just asking oh. No be fight.
Is it a taboo to have a good marriage/ spouse/ relationship?
I wonder about this because when someone comes and complains about a bad marriage/relationship/ spouse we believe them.
When someone comes and says they have a good marriage/ relationship/spouse we say they are liars, pretenders, internet Nigerians among other terms.

When one says he has a cheating partner we tend to believe more than one who says their partner doesn't cheat. We say "its because you have not caught him/her yet" "every man/ woman cheats"

Even when I sneak into Nairaland these days I find it hard to comment for fear of being labeled unrealistic and a pretender.

My question is:
1. Are things so bad in marriages and relationships that only the worst is beieved?
2. Is it impossible that there will exist spouses and partners who are mature enough to love, respect and make efforts not to hurt their partners?
3. Why is it easy to believe the bad and impossible to accept the good?

A very lovely topic you've posted here. Well for me I think its all because we are surrounded by really terrible relationships. Most of us come from abusive homes and have taken it to be a normal thing and that theres no such thing as a good home only in fairy tales and movies. I come from a home where my father is an emotional abuser and he doesnt even know what he does is wrong. He was brought up that way and believes thats how it should be. His actions put me off Yoruba men because I thought thats how they all are.
I had serious self esteem issues when I was younger (maybe I still do sef) because he always brought me down, everything I did was never good enough. I never for once sat down to have a conversation with him, when he arrives home, all of us disappear, because he would always insult or flog(with wire, I even had wire marks on my arms for some years) someone for any little thing.
It helped me make sure the man I would spend the rest of my life with would be the opposite, I went for an ibo guy and even when dating I was seriously suspiscious wondering so there are people like this who can support you in every way even when you think you have the dumbest ideas. My husband is no push over,he will always tell you his mind ho-ha when you need to hear it!
I thank God for my mother, a very strong woman, I wonder if I have half her strength. Goodness knows I could never live with a man like my dad.
So maybe we shouldnt blame people for thinking healthy relationships are not possible, its all they know.

[quote author=$25 million]Tell me why a man wouldn't basterdise this rude mofo. Folks I bet u,, men aren't mad, something triggers the reactions.[/quote]There is NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! That can justify a man laying hands on a woman. Any man who does that, provoked or not should be put in an asylum. We are women, we get mouth, we talk trash, thats a known fact. Why dont you just ignore her or you sef talk your own back or better still leave the area until tempers cool down. A real man knows how to rein in his temper and even when he explodes will never stoop to the level of beating his wife? What is that? Is she an animal? The so called love of your life you were chasing at one point, writing love text to, if she doesnt pick your call your heart will become faint?
Please lets reason well, everytime you get annoyed outside do you just start fighting or if a business client or customer annoys you, do you beat up the person? Then why would you want to beat up your highly esteemed wife of your youth? Please rspect your wife because its lack of respect that causes these things. If your wife is a werepe that likes to shout and talk and display, just excuse yourself from the environment until she tire. Its not a sign of weakness, That is a real man.

I've been trying to decipher what was going through the mans head all through the 20 months you were seperated. probably was thinking he's so irresistible and when you were tired of seperation you would come back begging or needing his help to raise the kid. Well, Sucker got Sucker punched! I like that you are strong enough to carry on your life without him.
Since it seems like his head has finally returned to earth you could try forgiving and then a trial reconciliation and see how that works out. I know you must feel really hurt after the maltreation especially since you were even pregnant at the time and because of his neglect of you and the baby, but try giving it a try again for the sake of the baby and so dat you satisfy your conscience that you tried on your own part.
Sorry for everything, wish you and your baby the best.

[quote author=Brand_new]I'm just not caught out for it. Kinda too menial though I do it once in a blue moon and I love having a clean environment too. I'd rather do more challenging things like the gardens, repairs, paint jobs e.t.c. Is there any problem with that? [/quote]noones cut out for it, sometimes we just have to do what we have to do.

Idi Amin: **HURRYIN 2 MY FIANCEE'S 2 DO IT NOW**

Correct guy!! Abeg add will you disclose how much u earn monthly and vise versa and notify me of all salary increments?

Exponental: When there is true love........every other things are not necessary.

True Love! I laugheth in French. Love dey evaporate, if you nor kno abeg kno now now now. Love comes as a result of what u see in someone, a persons characteristics but if those characteristics change, then d love sef go change. Better to watch closely, ask questions and pray the answers are genuine and honest and d person isnt just saying what he wants u to hear.
For me my questions are:
Are you God fearing? Even if you are not an ardent church goer, You sha believe and fear God?
How many Kids?
Will you be polygamous?
Can I meet your family and see how I'm accepted and vise versa
Any previous marriages or kids?
Why do u want to marry me? Why me of all other people?
What are your values?
How do u feel about relatives spending visiting your house?
Genotype?
Any illnesses? diabetes, heart issues?
Lots more, cant remember now.

There really shouldnt be anything like partitioning, a true loving couple that wants their union to be solid should communicate. What works for A doesn't work for B because we all of different upbringing and beliefs. Single Ladies and guys, know your partner well before you marry, know the type of person your spouse is before marriage so you will decide whether you can cope or not. A man who loves his wife should be able to compromise and do some things for the wife while a good wife will do same for her husband. Lets all just be fair to our spouses. If unfortunately you feel your spouse is putting too much burden on you and you've said your own but nothing changes, do the best you can do and leave the rest for God, just do your own best.
And this tribal issue tat keeps coming up pisses me off. Theres nothing like yoruba men are more caring or ibo men are proud, its all about upbringing and a persons personal values.
Lets stop hating on each other abeg. I'm Yoruba, married to an ibo man who helps out when he can while my Yoruba dad is d epitome of pride and will not lift up a pin or prepare a meal to save his own life but my mom understands his kind of person and has adjusted. Me, I knew I couldnt manage with such an attitude and I tank God I'm blessed with the kind of person I wanted.He's not perfect but he does the one he can do, I do the rest. Its all about communication and understanding.
Remember a woman is just a help meet, she can only do so much to assist.

eriegua83: Nor trust children again, leave am na small pikin, she never get breast, and them they phuck the full town. Na wa oh 9yrs nd 17 yrs. Make d boy nor run him too na underage nd the girl dey enjoy am or after the first bleeping she tell her mama no. Welcome to motherhood, now u go respect ur mama well well nd learn how to padlock ur tortori.

Did you read the part where the doctors said the girl didnt know what happened? How do you know how many times d molestation occurred by the way and you obviously dont know how kids act. If an elder says dont tell your parents, thats just what they will do. you're talking as if the girl was asking for it when she was clearly taken advantage of by the teenager who should have know better. Lord please save us from people with under developed brains.

This topic is making me laugh sooo much. I used to be the queen of silent treatment and luckily I have a husband who used to apologise first. He has a very bad mouth, doesnt insult but can say somethings that will touch ones heart and make one mega pissed. In the beginning I was applying the silent treatment technique because i wasnt much of a talker, my words were not as painful as his and although insults go through my head I cant bring myself to insult him so instead I used to ignore him. Whenever he calmed down, he would apologise but these days the guy sef don learn, if I ignore him, He ignores me back especially if he thinks I'm at fault. When I see he's like that, I grudgingly makeup and tell him to stop the bad habit. Silent treatment is for women not men but when he's at fault, I can hold on to my silent treatment for a long time until he apologises, which he does when he knows he has really wronged me. If he thinks he hasnt done anything wrong and is ignoring me too, then I'm forced to tell him where he went wrong and we forget about it. Sometimes I do talk back harshly but not anything he cant recover from, lol. Silent treatment isnt the best sha, it really pains me to ignore him.

yeh! Nigeria actually won! I officially retract all my comments and swallow my words back. D lesson of the day is never underestimate super eagles o! Thank goodness sey I no go bet money.

yeh! Nigeria actually won! I officially retract all my comments and swallow my words back. D lesson of the day is never underestimate super eagles o! Thank goodness sey I no go bet money.

yeh! Nigeria actually won! I officially retract all my comments and swallow my words back. D lesson of the day is never underestimate super eagles o! Thank goodness sey I no go bet money.

w

fabianblaise: nexus 4?where did he get that?nexus 4 is as scarce as a mango tree in the sahara...

He missed the first release but the second time it was released, a friend of his in US bought it on amazon. Wish I'd bought then, was holding out for bb10 and now see serious diappointment. Overpriced and no BIS, mcheww.

Piponomics: Have you seen the galaxy note2? That's the biggest monster amongst smartphones.
Na there we dey migrate go o as soon as my extra 21days free BIS expires in March

Correct!!

one is saying best midfielder we have more like only midfielder wehave who's in a top club, our best midfielder who is benched almost all the time in his club. In our over populous country we cant find another midfielder? We are too satisfied with mediocrity, thats why our government paid 4.7 million to each player for a match they won by chance. Rubbish! Which other country is lavishing money on their players like that so stupidly?
D other one is saying fearful? abeg where does eagles fearlessness take them to? It always brings them back home. Its not the first time they are talking trash like this, I'm just sorry for stupidly optimistic people like you that keep believing their BS! A country like ivory coast dat finished top of their group without breaking a sweat will demolish eagles, its not about fear, its about preparedness, pure and true talent and good team work. Nigerians! We have learntto depend on luck and prayers but God ain't no magician, you've got to doyour own part and when eagles play coted'ivoire, the better team will win.
Lastly, so what if he creates chances? A chance is not a goal, they should do ALL they can to get real and beautiful goals. I remember Kanu Nwankwo, what Kanu wouldnt do for a goal! How bout Okocha? Yekini? Nsofor? Aghahowa, and many others. A great player wants victory badly, he's hungry for it, has a mad passion for it and doesnt want to let his fans down. Anyhoo, I'm entitled to my own opinion, the eagles will always have sympathisers, dats why they always play trash and get worse with every game relying on prayer and fasting. I laugh in french.

mascot87: With due respect,did u smoke cassava flower?

We smoked it together, with all due respect.

mchew* throws away bb10 plans*, Samsung S3, google nexus 4, Here I come. These BB abi RIM people want to crash their company on purpose, will manage my humble bold2 till then. Dont they get that why they are patronised so well over here is because of the unlimited data plan for such a reasonable amount.

My main problem with Mikel Obi is that he's proud and pride goeth before a fall. So what if he was begged? Who cares? We want goals, if he cannot give us goals someone else should. I think eagles will do better without him sef, I wish the coach doesnt put him in the start up, he should be subbed in fifteen minutes to the end if needed.

If they were such good christians and prayer warriors, the situation of the country would have been way better by now. These ones that cannot bear to see one meal go, with their oversized potbellies and greedy nature. SO BLOODY CALLED LAW MAKERS. If they fast, thats when Super eagles will definitely fail sef. Its not just by being prayer warriors o, change from your selfish ways first.

Empty yaps! Mikel should Keep quiet jare and pray that ivorycoast doesn't spell NIGERIA with all d goals they will score. Him no dey shame? Because dem manage to qualify by mistake from dem group he is talking. Who is he deceiving? This time he is wasting to talking shld be spent thinking of how to score atleast one goal. I wnt holD my breath for eagles sha, d team has already disappointed me as always with the exception of a few players like enyeama and victor moses. Mikel should just keep quiet, d guy pisses me off bigtime. I still wonder why Osaze was looked over? The guy has a leaky mouth yeah and maybe bad tempered but a gr8 asset to d team. Eagles need to work way harder if they are serious about beating these guys.

You would think RIM would learn. first they ignored Africans who stuck with them when they were going under, personally i think it was Africa that kept their company in business. They've finally acknowledged us over here, we thank goodness for that. Now they are releasing such an expensive phone, why would someone pick their phone over any other android? what makes the bb10 software better than any other android one? the same apps only the chat thingy stands out but theres whatsapp so no one is missing bbm and the data services which is a bit cheaper with BIS but an iphone or S3 user doesnt mind that. I love my bb anyday anytime but i've started coverting my husbands nexus 4 which costs just abt sixty something thousand and has everything a phone needs including a 360 degree camera. Im sure z10 camera is not even as badass as d iphone's. The pricing should've been better this time since they are trying to get customers back, that would have added some points for them. We go dey watch sha.

In chinese love is 爱 or 'AI' in chinese pinyin

My daughter takes 2 meals, cereal or a light meal like eggs with toast bread, sandwiches, fried plantain/ yam/ potatoes with vegetable sauce, sausages, boiled eggs. For the secong meal, something heavier, jollof rice, fried rice, white rice with stew and beef/ chicken, vegetable sauce. Beans and plantain sometimes or spaghetti. And then for snack, biscuits usually cookies, a bottle of diluted ribena or juice, a bar of chocolate like twice a week, and her water bottle. Some mornings she takes chocolate beverage usually with toast bread and eggs.
I have to get up by 5.30 every morning to get it all set. Not easy work atall.

Try these guys out, you give them your list of stuff u want to buy and the UK sites, they calculate the price for the items plus shipping expenses which isn't outrageous, you pay and they bring it down for you in two weeks. Tested and trusted. www.Mytp3.com Their price is really affordable.

dick hardener: what are these supposed rays emitting from the mirror called?

Mirror rays na!

I wld like to know too.

loabb2: [b]

It is true. At times, they send their representatives. But I clearly remember that the General Overseer of Deeper Life Bible Church, Pastor William Kumuyi, came to see me at our Lagos headquarters in Iju, Lagos, sometime in 1987. It is a public place, he was there, and people saw him. But he went back, never to come back to fulfill his promise to come for knowledge. And without knowledge, there is no way anybody can make it


http://sunnewsonline.com/new/specials/icon/guru-maharaj-jis-bombshell-quote-me-pastors-use-juju-to-hold-their-members/

Abeg before believing lies, lemme do the maths. This man we all know worships d devil, and who is the devil? He is a liar, deceitful, wicked and father of all liars whose main aim is to bring confusion to the church. Don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth or his followers for they are liars and lying is their native language. John 8:44.