₦airaland Forum

flyca:
OP, I feel you joor. I'm someone that likes people to use these three magic words on me, "Thank you, Please and Sorry". In fact, I will always ask for it in case the person has forgotten
I'm always like, "See as I have wasted my legs to go and buy you this recharge card Oya teeeee me Thank you" And when I hear it, it makes me grin with joy.
It makes me feel appreciated and I'm being human. I guess humans like to be appreciated.
My point is: I feel you bro.

Lol, this made me laugh! Thanks for understanding

debetmx:
Some have head but they don't have cap, some have cap but they don't have head. So this is your own problem?

OP, is she not your wife? I need a good wife not thank you.

People like you will expect one to thank them for the rest of one's life for any little assistance.

Yes, I thought someone might say this. But its not that way at all. I dont want her to thank me for every little thing. However it won't be bad if she shows some appreciation once in a while. I do it, I dont see why she shouldn't.

cococandy:
Why not tell her how her attitude makes you feel?
At least tell her first.

And in future challenges, let her work it out herself no matter how tough. Just sit around and fight the urge to help her out.
Maybe she will be forced to ask and then you can say you won't do it bluntly because she won't appreciate it if you do.
That could open the floodgate for more outpouring. Don't shy away from it because you want to avoid a fight with her. No.

That 'fight' is long over due and you have to have it before you can amend things and move on.
No matter how 'one' you've become, spouses should always be appreciative of each other. Even for the smallest things. Taking one's partner for granted can lead to many other bigger issues.

I have been tempted to leave her to sort herself out several times. But the way I see it her success is my success, so also her failure. So even when I hold back it gets to the point i cant stand it anymore and i do something to help. Maybe i'm being too soft on her.

Yomieluv:
no matter what she ought to be appreciative...


call her attention to it,when she doesnt subscribe to it,then don't use your position next time.


even we human thank GOd everyday, much less human to human.

Ok, thanks.

Creamish:
Ofcourse that counts!!!!!!


Like I said..not everyone knows how to say "Sorry" or "Thank you"...but in their actions, U'll see it. Never overlook anything done out of the ordinary. She'z aight. Still have that talk with her but atleast now U have a faint idea of the kinda person she just might be.

Lol, okay o.

Prec1ous:
That woman loves you.

It look like a problem but it is not, your wife has forgotten that you guys are two. She sees herself in you and naturally expects you to know that she appreciates.

She is not doing it intentionally, but since it hurts you, let her know about it. I know your type of man, the quiet man who wants validation and a sense of belonging.

Talk to her. No cause for alarm.

PS: did you ever suffer from inferiority complex or were you bullied in school. Your childhood may not have hold much fun and thus, you need to know others are concerned and see your effort.

Take care.

Wow, very insightful post! Well, yes I was a very strong introvert as a teenager and my childhood was not much fun, more of a kind of military training, lol. When my mates were out playing in the sun I was being drilled and given tasks and responsibilites at a very early age. It was not until I left home and entered the university that I started mixing with the crowd.
Thanks for your input.

Dyt:
I am something like that too
Not that there's no appreciation but some of us just feel we are one
Whatever I do or you do is for the benefit of us
Sometimes I eben forget to say thank you when I meant to
And if I do something and I get a thank you
It makes me really angry lol

Its simple
I had a man that always wanted thank you
He eventually gave up when he found out its not me being proud or not appreciating
Its a feeling that comes like WE ARE ONE

But If you want the thank you
I am saying it on her behalf in a million times
As a nice man
Oya do something for me make I thank you
Waiting

Thanks for this insight. I'd really like to interact more with ladies that feel this way and know what makes them tick. Its a relief for me to hear your not saying thank you is not from being proud or not appreciating because honestly I thought pride was playing a major factor on her part. Thanks again.

Creamish:
U cannot allow urself wallow up in depression. Sit her down and have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Spare no detail. Let her know exactly whatz going on in ur mind/heart. Shez not a mind reader so until u guys have this talk, she may never know shez hurting u badly.

Im glad U take care of her but i want to ask U honestly.. I know some people rily don't verbally appreciate ppl but they make some gestures of appreciation...something U might overlook or shrug off.. Have U ever noticed her doing anything for u which might be out of the ordinary?

Nope. She's not the romantic type if thats what you mean. she's very down to earth.
Okay dont laugh but yesterday when she noticed I wasn't happy she went and made a special dish for me, kept it hot till I was ready to eat. Its not her normal behaviour. Does that count?

FrancisTony:
Why are you getting tensed over a little thing that's not suppose to be?.
Atleast you are happily married, and your wife is kind and loving according to your OP...
She is simply abiding to the bible verse that says, "husband and wife are one in the same flesh".

I don't see a need for "thank you" since two has come together to become one and whatever you offer & vice-versa represents both, even though it doesn't hurt to say it sha.

I get where you are coming from, I totally do. Mark 10:8 rings in my head all the time. But never saying thank you? Never showing appreciation? Do you know for the job thing till today we didnt rejoice as a couple, its her mother she went to rejoice with. I just dont get it.

AVECDEO:
Guy i feel u,but look at the larger picture such as the effort u are making will impact your kids.

Or maybe she feels she is doing much more for you and on the same pedestal with you regarding been selfless to each other.

You should also pray about it,she might just be nursing a grudge against you.

You can't fitn't understand women...

Thanks for bringing up the kids matter.
That's the main thing I've been thinking of, the kids. What if she brings them up behaving the same way?
I have woken this woman up in the middle of the night once and asked if there was anything she has against me, or anything she found out that needs clarification, anything at all. She said nothing.

Daresh:
Why don't you talk to her about it? Let her see that she is taking your help for granted and that you don't like it.

I have talked to her about it several times and have actually given up. It now looks like I am begging for thank yous and thats not the way it should be. I wouldnt have even bothered sharing this if not that she did this last one again.
Some part of me thinks she does it deliberately to "prevent my head from swelling" but i think she's overdoing it. I came from a family where appreciation is shown. I dont know if thats the way in other families.

Hildalicious:
he didn't quote any part of bible

Then its a religious thing. Maybe he sees it as dirty.
Have you considered easing it in gently? Waht I mean is make sure you have a bath together there and then start touching him romantically from there. Move the action to the bed and make him lie down while you kiss all over his body. Progress the kissing gradually down to his chest then belly then thighs then finally kiss him there. Only kiss mind you. Don't go futher than kissing, then continue on to proper sex. If he allows it do it more a couple of times until he is used to it then one day in the heat of the moment you can put him in your mouth. It has to be a gradual process. Try it.

I doubt if he is hiding anything from you.

Greetings to all members in the family section. I have an issue I'd like to share with you all and I would like your honest input.
I have been "happily" married for the past eight years now and in the course of this marriage we have been through thick and thin and I have come to accept a number of things. One of these things is that my wife dosent appreciate me. She's kind and loving and all that and I'm grateful to have her. However I've noticed over the years that she's not very appreciative of my person. Let me give some examples.
There was a time her mother fell very sick. Her brothers didnt have money to cater for her and kind of left her to her fate. As soon as she told me I got her admited and sent my personal doctor to look her up. In a few days she was feeling much better and discharged from hospital. My wife never one day offered so much as a thank you till date. Even when the mother later came to see us and was thanking me my wife for some reason got up and walked out of the room. Now I realise the appreciation from her won't add to my account or anything but I felt a little show of appreciation would have been nice. She didnt so much as refer to the matter again and neither did Iathough i was perplexed.
There was another time she lost her job at the bank where she worked. She was at home for almost a year while we both ran from pillar to post looking for another job to get her busy(my salary can cater for the home but she doesnt like being idle) and eventually I got an old contact who directed me to a government official who asked me to bring her cv which i did. For another three months I followed the matter up, calling the man incessantly(she refused to call, saying she wasnt friends with the man, I was, even though I felt she ought to call to familiarise herself with him) and the interview was something else with a lot of lobbying and such. Finally she got the job. When she got the text message to come and collect her letter she called her mom immediately and they were both screaming over the phone in jubilation. I had to ask what happened and she said she had gotten the job. she started saying things "Thank God she got the job, The interview was tough but she was tougher, she wrote intelligently, etc. I pursed my lips and said nothing. When we eventually collected the letter and went to see her mom she repeated the same thing, she did not for one moment mention my involvement in the matter. It really hurt but I felt it would be immature to complain so I kept my peace.
Now I wanted to open a buisness for her to add as a side source of income. I've been cajoling her that she has a lot of spare time on her hands from the government job and she's very good in buying and selling which she agreed but said she didnt want to start a buisness as it would be too tedious. I talked to her about it for almost a month but she refused so I gave it up. You can force a horse to the stream but you cannot force it to drink. Only for her to come last week very excited and tell me she wanted to start a boutique shop,I should give her money. I was wondering what caused the turn around and she said a colleague talked to her at work that it was a lucrative buisness. When I asked "but its the same thing I've been telling you now, why didnt you think of it when I told you...she said She doesnt remember me telling her. When i pressed further she admitted i mentioned it to her but "you didnt say it seriously enough and my colleage has more experience.". This is me who ran a boutique shop for my mother years ago of which she is aware. I mentioned it to her and she shrugged it off.
Right now I just feel ...I dont know.As if she doesnt want to acknowledge anything I do for her. And it hurts me because I'm someone that likes helping people. Someone has advised that I stop seeking appreciation from her and ignore, that I shouldnt rely on her for my happiness and whatnot but I honestly dont know how to go about it. How do I look for appreciation from someone other than my wife? Why is she behaving this way? I keep feeling one day we will have a huge argument and she's going to say things like I have never done anything for her. And it hurts. Maybe its not supposed to but it does. I have a strong belief in love and loving my spouse wholy and completely and part of that involves giving and I know showing appreciation or at least acknowledgement shoudnt be a big deal but it is for me and she knows it. What do I do? How do I find joy in other things and ignore her behavoiur?

Hildalicious:
I asked him to reach some sort of compromise by allowing me to give him MouthAction but he says it is against his religious beliefs . It seems as if he is using his religion as excuses, What can I do? should i end the marriage ?

Oh? And what part of the bible did he quote for this?

U want to end your marriage because your husband won't give u MouthAction?

Oops. Wrong gathering.

By my understanding the Ark was made of wood and soaked in water for 40days and was made over 4000 years ago. It ought to have decayed away by now or at worst destroyed for firewood by the new families, don't u think so?

EroticAngelina:
... something men/husbands now a days fail terribly at.

This is because many men/husbands lack a poor foundation in their spirituality.

Genesis 2:15-21 gives three roles for a man. These three roles apply perfectly to the marriage relationship. Many may disagree with these roles, but it is clear that this was God’s plan for men and husbands. A fourth has been added to expantiate on the others.

The husband is to be a physical provider.
Genesis 2:15 says God put man in the Garden of Eden to dress it and keep it. This establishes him as a provider, which requires that he must work to provide for his wife and children. Since the word husband means occupier and tiller of the soil it tells us that this role has been established since the beginning of language. Being a provider means providing for the physical things found in a home (Genesis 24:67; Deuteronomy 24:5; 1 Samuel 2:20).
A husband must be chaste or sexually faithful to his wife and provide for her sexual needs. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 says that the husband’s body belongs to his wife and that he should not withhold himself from her sexually (1 Corinthians 7:6-9; Matthew 19:1-19). This is for two reasons: to meet her sexual needs and to protect her from temptation to have a sexual affair. Likewise, he should abstain from things that might lead him to be physically attracted to someone other than his wife.

The husband is to be a Spiritual leader.
Genesis 2:16 says God told man not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil or he would die. This makes the man a Spiritual provider. God said this before He created the woman. Adam knew what God said and it was his responsibility to communicate it to his wife. However, Genesis 3:1-6 says that something went wrong.
Satan, in the form of a serpent, questioned Eve about eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. She told him that they could not eat from it or touch it because they would die. Satan told her she would not die and added that God did not want her to eat from the tree because He did not want her to be like gods, knowing good and evil.
Since Eve was looking for food (Adam’s responsibility), she saw how beautiful the fruit was and that it would make her wise like God, she took the forbidden fruit and ate it. She then gave some to Adam who was with her and he ate some too. There are two problems here. First, God never said anything about touching it. Second, Adam knew better and Eve didn’t (1 Timothy 2:12-14), yet he still allowed her to eat it and ate it too. The result was the fall of man and separation from God (Genesis 3:7-24).

The husband is to be the head of his household
Genesis 2:18-20 says God wanted to provide a companion for the man. God created every creature and gave man the responsibility of naming them. This demonstrated to Adam that none of these separately created beings were suitable for him. It was after this that God made the woman from the man, which established the idea of man’s dominion and leadership. Genesis 1:26-27 says God gave mankind dominion over all living things on the earth, which includes the husband’s dominion over his household (1 Corinthians 1:1-16; 1 Timothy 2:12-14; Ephesians 5:22-32).

The husband must model Christ
Ephesians 5:22-32 says that marriage is a model of the relationship between Christ and the church. This means that the husband must love his wife first (Ephesians 5:25), like Christ loved us (the church) first (1 John 4:19). He does this by inspiring his wife, not intimidating her as a servant leader. Inspiring her takes much more work and sacrifice to change her heart, but it produces lasting results that intimidation can never accomplish. Like a farmer who patiently plants the seeds and nurtures the crops, a husband must patiently plant the seeds of God’s Word and nurture his wife.
A husband must provide for his wife’s Spiritual needs (Ephesians 5:26-27) like Christ provides for our Spiritual needs (Romans 8:26-31). A husband must provide for his wife’s physical needs (Ephesians 5:28-30) like Christ provides for our physical needs (Matthew 6:25-34). Finally, a husband must provide for his wife’s emotional needs (Ephesians 5:31-33) like Christ provides for our emotional needs (John 14:15-27).


A husband is a man who is tasked with the roles of being a provider, Spiritual leader, and head of his household for his wife. He uses the example and inspiration of Jesus Christ to place the needs of his wife above his own in providing for her physical, emotional and Spiritual needs. In doing so, he glorifies God by modeling the relationship between Christ and the church.

johnydon22:


Now am sure everyone can see you obviously have no idea what it is to sound angry perhaps.... You need your sleep now..

I agree.
goodnight.

johnydon22:
Since yesterday? Woow thats a long time..

And many have been following mine for months and none have concluded i am angered by any religion.. ( As a matter of fact i am only angered by Jihad)

So i take it you mean he is angered at Christianity because he argues against Christianity or is there anywhere he asserted to be angry at Christianity?

Or is arguing against a religion synonymous to angry at it according to you?

hmmm,
You actually sound angrier for some reason.
I apologise for the use of that word then.

johnydon22:


He is angered about Christianity

It appears so. I may be wrong. I have been following his posts on religion since yesterday.

hahn:
@bolded, yes, I did. I already admitted that and I am grateful that you and johnnydon22 have liberated me from my ignorance and also saved me from the shame of saying it in public. That is the only reason why I enjoy engaging people more intelligent than I am

So, can we please move on?

No offence meant.
Have a good night.

[quote author=hahn post=38737141][/quote]When you type like this its difficult to quote back, don't know why.
anyway, I read your response. Like I said earlier, believe whatever makes you happy. I still don't get why you are so angered about Christianity though.

menesheh:
why not go and reread hahn comment, he used "gradually becoming obsolete" he never quoted any number.
that something is going into extinction doesn't make it non-existent. Our contemporary life style and laws guiding us are no longer dependent on any holy book or cultural practices , even in some middle eastern countries that are still practicing theocracy, they are forming new laws to conform with 21ST happenings and technology.

studies upon studies have shown that most people just answered to be christains and religious just for face value but dont really give any damn about the tenets of such religion.


You said nothing about the old testament.

and so Christianity is going "gradually" into extinction after 2000 years and counting, even though it remains the one of the three major religions of the world till date.

Dont hold your breath.

johnydon22:
stop speeding. . Here greeks do not believe a literal hell fire but a concept called Hades which was mutilated by christianity to mean hell afterwards..

Greek mythology have a place of torment inside hades called tartarus, hahn was correct



Wronger than wrong here.. Hinduism believe in a hell Naraka .. stop being in a haste ... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naraka_(Hinduism)

This is true, ever wondered how yahweh all of a sudden hired a hell fire when the christians got hold of it.… Judaic yahweh has no hell, christian yahweh does. .

Wrong again. . Buddhism borrows myths and concepts from Hinduism and so also accommodates the concept of Naraka (hell)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naraka_(Buddhism)

Only that the concept of judgment is not found in buddhism, Karma is what determines whether you will be born into Naraka in Buddhism...


There are actually more than 20 religions with concepts of hell both you and Hahn are wrong there.

Even in some african religions there is Hetgwauge of haida and kuzimu of swahili... Check before laying out confident assertions that are quite wrong..

Thanks for the links.
You will notice in my response to hahn that we were discussing "hellfire" an eternal place burning with fire and brimstone. Hence my postulations were on "hellfire" and not a hell or underworld.

In that light:

Naraka as you call it is a place of torment, but there is no mention of fires and it is not eternal but a temporary place of punishment. I stand to be corrected.

Tartarus was a stronghold for holding the enemies of the greek gods,namely cronos and other monsters. It is true that one or two humans won the unfortunate rights of being held here for eternity but they are in the minority. also tartarus is a place of darkness and ultimate chaos. No hell"fire" and the soul of the greek faithful (or unfaithful as it were) were hardly deemed dangerous or threatening enough to be thrown into tartarus.

as for the 20 or more concepts of hell, you will still agree with me that your friend exaggerated.

hahn:
RiloKiley:



There are actually 7: Judaism, Zoroastrianism, Greek, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Tibetan Buddhism

http://www.neatorama.com/2007/03/23/heaven-and-hell-according-to-various-religions/

Greek( I guess you mean the greco-roman belief) does not believe in hell fire but a shadowy underworld. Hinduism doesnt believe in hellfire but in re-incarnation until you gain perfection. Judaism believes in a shadowy dark afterlife. No hellfire. Buddhism believes in rebirth. death connotes a return to mother earth.

So. There are four.

Point is, you exaggerated.

The fact that they contradict each other only means they a product of man's imaginations.

The thing is, they dont contradict each other. Evil people will go to hell. good people will attain enlightenment or heaven. It shows a similar source, not dissention.

The fact that they have something in common doesn't make them the same. Christians believe that you can't get into heaven without believing in Jesus, John 3:16, just as Muslims believe all Christians will go to hell for believing in Jesus.

So you admit though that they have something in common?
Everyone has their beleif. You have none. You are in a precarious position.

This is where you get it wrong. I don't have to believe in god to be good. If you are good just because your believe in god then you have a problem. I believe in being good because it is good. Simple.

I knew you would say this. You think I'm going to start threathening you with fire and brimstone. Nope. Its better you do good out of love than out of fear. As an athiest I believe you have no higher priniciples whatsoever, correct me if I am wrong. you make your own rules and choose whether to be good or evil. You have nothing to check your behaviour apart from your own self. As a human being that is a precarious position to be in. you will agree with me that it is natural for man to be selfish, to look out for his own interest first before others. To do whatever they can and get away with it. Evil abounds everywhere and it is on the increase. If all men were allowed to do whatever they felt was right then there would be chaos. It is only natural for man to set down certain laws to govern all this unruliness. Just as there are societal laws to prevent chaos also there are spiritual laws to govern your spiritual life.

Why bargain the whole of an unknown eternity over a life so fleeting that you dont even know one day from the next?

Keyword here: Unknown. The concept of "eternity" is a selfish one. If you can't remember where you where before you came to earth, why are you so concerned about where you are going? Don't you think it is more important to do your best here on earth, which is evidently real, instead of focusing on an eternity that is nothing more than an assumption? Since the beginning of time, no one has ever died, gone to heaven or hell and come back to tell us the story. All the different stories about people who have visited heaven or hell are contradictory depending on the religion of the narrator.

There is nothing selfish about this concept. Nobody told you not to live your life on earth to the fullest as long as it doesn't involve hurting your fellow man. We ought to be concerned about where we are going because wherever that place is it is eternal. It will last longer than time itself. And since the dawn of time the same message has been drummed into man's head that there is something more out there. There is no smoke without fire. It will take nothing from your life to believe in an afterlife and in heaven except you have selfish ideals or you are holding on to some hate or lust or whatever. If anything it will give you peace of mind knowing you are in safe hands both here on earth and in the eternity whether it exists or not.

At this point, I am 100% sure hell doesn't exist. How? Because no one has ever seen it. At this point it is only a religious fantasy

I like the way you say at this point, that means if tomorrow you saw proof of hell, you'll believe, right?

[b]Believing in god, for me, is mental stress [/b]and is synonymous to me subjecting myself to mental delusion and hoping for what doesn't exist. If god is real, we wouldn't be having this discussion, it would have been evident just as we don't argue about the existence of the sun.

@bold is the crux of the matter. If you are so morally upright as you earlier claimed, believing in God should be a walk in the park for you. So why would it be mental stress? What exactly would you risk giving up by believing in God?

hahn:
At the end of the day you are still going to end up in the "hell" fire of over 5000 other religions. Good luck

You exaggerate.
There are only four religions that believe in hellfire: Asatru, Christianity, Islam and Zoroastrianism. the funny thing is, all these hell fires have one thing in common; The punishment of the wicked. So its safe to say it might be one and the same hellfire.
Wont it be better for you to aim for goodness so as to avoid the eternal damnation of your soul in hell? Why bargain the whole of an unknown eternity over a life so fleeting that you dont even know one day from the next? We are all, all of us, me and you, definitely going to DIE one day. Are you 100% sure hell doesn't exist? 100% sure? What will it take from you to believe in God?

hahn:
Believing in a god that only lives in your imagination is mental illness.

Morality has nothing to do with religion. The traits you described are exhibited by non Christians and atheists alike. Afterall, Hitler was a Christian.

MAtt 7:15 "Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.

Morality is religion. Abraham Lincoln was one of the greatest leaders in the world and he was a christian. So were very many others too numerous to count.
Anyone can call themselves Christians. It is only those who practice true Christianity that are the sons of God and true followers of Christ.

Matt 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

hahn:
Lol. @bolded, god refuses to live.

And you theists are stuck in a delusion.

When one person suffers from a delusion he is mentally ill but when many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion.

If being mentally ill means loving my neighbour, doing good to those around me and bringing as much love as I can into the world, then I'd rather be mentally ill for the rest of my life.

Shollyps:
so you mean God changed?. .but I thought one of his attribute is immutability ...so he is now more. gentle n loving than before?

God didnt change. He simply brought out a part of himself that hadn't been seen before (Jesus Christ). The Pharisees had made a mess of the old testament. they now worshipped the law instead of worshipping God. the 10commandments were meant to bring the people closer to God but because of the hardness of thier hearts it drove them further away instead. God's 10commandments in the old testament can be summarised into the 2 commandments of the new:

MArk 12:29-31
²⁹"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.³⁰Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' ³¹The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

hahn:
Those figures represent the amount of people who follow the Christian religion blindly due to the fact that they have been indoctrinated with the lies, false hope and belief attached to the religion.. When I said god is obselete I was referring to the concept of god. If I have malaria, for instance, and I pray to god expecting a miracle, there is a 90% chance I will die because the last time god performed any miracle was over 2000 years ago. However, with the aid of N100 amalar I can get rid of the malaria.

This analogy renders god useless because since it can't do what it's meant for then it is an unnecessary waste of time.

More people will continue to realise this and that means more people will begin to abandon these false teachings. Unfortunately, there are many in the world who cling to these fairy tales and that is majorly because they have been taught as truth instead of as what they really are. Lies.

The old testament is just another evidence of god's incompetence. For an entity who claims it is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, it sure has the tendencies to make mistakes and tries to excuse it's incompetence.

That is if it is even real

Believe whatever makes you happy. The idea of God being obsolete has been there for centuries yet belief in God just gets stronger as the years go by. Despite all the persecutions and nay-sayings and laws against Christians, the love for God simply refuses to die. The facts I gave you were google facts. Your facts however you pulled out of your head to make a point. Either way it doesn't matter. The love for God increases in the hearts of the faithful day by day.

Shollyps:
I tire for them o...but wen it comes to killing,destroying cities... then it is old covenant...double standard if I will say

Matt 5: 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

The old testament world was a brutal world. If the Israelites had turned the other cheek then they would have been wiped out many times over. Also the isrealites were a stubborn people and needed stringent laws to guide them. In the new testament the emphasis is on love. These new breed of "Israelites" are called "Christians."