₦airaland Forum

Ujoan:
Is it really a bad habit?

I mean you think your wife calling you is for her own good, so basically you don't need to call her because you won't be gaining anything from it

Leaving the toilet seat up is a bad habit . . . . . This my friend, is blatant disregard for human feelings and gross selfishness!

Ah. Now I see what you are on about.
You want a back-and-forth.
I'm not too good at it though but I'll try.

Ujoan:
It hurts doesn't it? The truth, I mean! Well, suck it up . . . nobody's above mistakes!

You men need to realize you are not really the best thing since sliced bread

Lol
Your husband must be really doing a number on you for you to think all men are egotistical. You sound like a troublesome woman whose only power is behind the keyboard.

I already stated up there that I didn't know it was a problem till after wifey explained it to me after which I changed. You on the other hand have refused to admit that you are a humourless nag

item4biz:
@Rilokiley, aha, am happy you shared yyour experience. Am also glad you have consciously work on your weakness.

As for me, I won't ever call again until I see changes. This is not something of today. I don't like someone taking me for granted and he has done it over n over. What he is good at doing is apologising. He's being calling since yesterday and I haven't picked, and am not doing that until he returns. Next time, he will not try it again. And next time, I won't burder to call to know how the journey is. My father travel alot, and I remember he would call and ask of everyone daily, morning and evening. My mum doesn't even call cos she knows dad would always call, when we started using phones, he would call us and when we call and missed our calls, he would always call back. If I call and my call is picked and appreciated it won't even be an issue for me. Not when my calls are ignored and when eventually picked I get shouted on or making excuses. My husband doesn't return calls! It's that bad.

Think I have rant on this enough. Am sorry jare.


@Godngold, Tearoses, I so much appreciate your advise.

It's good to rant and let out your feelings like this once in a while. Honestly I didn't know it meant so much to my wife till she discussed it with me and I had to make a conscious effort to change. Probably same place you a are in with your husband now. I'm sure after this episode he'll make a conscious efforts to call back. It's simply a bad habit that's all.
Let's know how it goes.

Ujoan:
Not only does her hubby not call, he doesn't pick up her own calls and when he does pick, is very eager to end the conversation.

In any case, I think men or women who behave like OP's husband and yourself are inherently selfish . . . You leave a human being at home to run the family, including kids, and you don't bother to call to see how she's coping.

I guess probably you think your so-called job is more important and takes priority over the well-being of your family.

I wound never date, much less marry a man with no regards for my feelings. I see you are taking this lightly, but it's no joking matter!!!

I travel for work too, just like my hubby and most times I'm on the road, he's back home with our kids . . . I don't call him for 'me' but for him to feel that I'm still with them, even if I'm in another continent. No matter how busy I am, my family is my priority.

Time for men to drop the God-complex, it's getting redundant!

I would have never married a stuck-up humourless nagging woman like yourself either. So you see, we would have never met.

As for the woman in question, she says she loves her husband and doesn't want anybody confronting him on her behalf. I've since dried my eyes and gone on with my business.

itouchng:
[/color][color=#770077] what we are trying to say here is that, We Nigerians has so much believed that we are the most corrupted people on earth, and it really killing us... may countries are out there who are more corrupt that we Nigerians...am not a Nigerian by nationalism but would like to be one very soon

Not surprising.
Nigerians like to think the worst of themselves.

zaynie:
A woman who put everything on hold to chase a career.
She should be able to afford it plus the cost of surrogacy plus every every.

Let me see if I can help.
The average cost of freezing a set of 10-15 eggs is about $20,000 (about N4million) And it lasts for only 10yrs Max after which u begin to question the viability. This is minus the cost of surrogacy. Also note that the age in which she harvested her eggs count for its chance of survival. Even then there is no guarantee the eggs will develop into viable embryos although chances have improved over the years (28percent in niaja, up to 50percent in the US). Is it really worth the risk?


Piddgin pls where do you live that you say it is done free?

bukatyne:
Well if we follow the theory that says women love cooking and house keeping according to Esther Vilar and co, I think men have the short end of the stick.

You rule the world and don't have a bond with your kids... browse NL to see several threads laments the 'thankless' job of fatherhood.

A wife cooks & cleans and care of her kids (doing what she loves) and still get to be made love to. (Studies on NL say women enjoy love making more than men)

Perhaps girls actually rule your world.

@Having kids when you want: The older you are, the older the quality of sperm

And I am sure an average man doesn't want kids in his old age.

You don't want to do school runs @ 60, do you?

Good rebuttal

crackhaus:
Can you afford to freeze your eggs?



[size=3]This is one example of someone that refuses to register her mind with reality[/size]

Lol! @smallfont

Dosent sound true.
I might be wrong.

.

Thank God for your lives! It's good to know there are still great marriages out there

Handling = f. o. ndling
Intimate = er.o.t..ic
Why is nairaland changing these words

Why requesting for a condom after two kids? Is she scared of having more kids? Did u cheat previously and she's scared of getting an infection?
I think this is one of the cases where proper communication would help. Unless she is frigid. But a frigid woman won't care about the condom bit.

It sounds like she's still hurting from something done in the past. If you know what it is talk to her about it (again if you have done it before. Counselling involves multiple sessions.) find out her insecurities and assuage them. Also try and change your sexual pattern. Don't let her just back you waiting for penetration, engage in pre-intimacy. E. G kissing, touching, caressing, handling. Don't go straight to her erotic zones. If she feels turned on she won't be this reluctant. And of she is feeling any annoyance handling has a way of making her talk about it. At least then you'll know what the problem is if u don't already.
Let's know how it goes

It's amazing how some people respond to simple marriage issues though. Not everyone marries monsters. Imperfect people yes, but not monsters. Marriage is not all about cheating and divorce. Thank God Op has confirmed her husband's whereabouts this time else some people would have poisoned her mind by now.

item4biz:
Helloo nl family. Been a member here but decided to use this my new handle to post this thing that trouble my heart.

My marriage will be six years by august. Since I have been married to my husband, whenever he travel he doesn't look back. He won't call, text, ping or do any form of contact. When I call he won't pick, whenever he picks he hurry the call and query my calls to be too much.

His job takes him out of town alot, either out of the country or within. On both movement, doesn't call to say oh I had a safe trip and am doing fine.

In 2014, he cheated on me for over two months he was away. I had a UTI when I travled to see him and we met. It was a bad time for me cos I had to be placed on anti biotics. I complain of him not calling and he keeps doing the same.

Please how do I stop calling him whenever he travel? I don't want him to ever see my number on his phone again whenever he travel, this I know will hurt him and make him change. How do I discipline myself to never call him whenever he is away?

Am in tears now, I don't ever like this his attitude, how will a man not call his wife to know how the home he left behind is doing whenever he is out of town?

I'm laughing cos am guilty of same thing. Not the adultery part though. Sorry about that. It's just a habit of ours. When I leave the house I barely remember my family at home. It doesnt mean I don't love them, I just don't remember to call. Have had many a fight with wifey over this matter and over the years I make a note to remind me to call in the evenings. That's how I solved my own. You can suggest it to him.

From experience I find it's hard when u try and change what is naturally good in you so you can spite the other person(your spouse) . I've tried denying my wife certain things to try and teach her how it hurts when she doesn't care. But in the end I'm the one that hurts. She doesnt notice what I do cos sheshe is not used to such gestures or maybe she doesn't care, I don't know.

I don't think you should harden your heart and stop calling him. Calling him is not for him, it's for you. You do it so you can feel better not for him. So I say continue the calling, continue the checking up, it's your nature and you'll be better off not carrying a chip in your shoulder. Keep reminding him to call and flash at particular times of the day so that eventually he learns to expect a call from you at so and so time and if he doesn't he will call back to find out what is happening. My wife did this for me persitently and it eventually worked. Now if I'm away and I don't hear my phone. Ring by 7pm I panic and start calling back Husband and wife can never have the exact same nature during marriage. Learnt that the hard way. Cheer up.

Congratulations first of all on breastfeeding your baby for so long. It warms my heart to see people who take breastfeeding seriously in this fast and modern age.

That being said there is no scruples in stopping now. Una don try. Don't use any drugs pls. Rather squeeze (or suck )the milk out. Over time when sucking of the breast becomes less regular, the breastmilk will dry up. It's heavy now because of accumulated milk in the breast and if you are not careful it might form a painful abscess.

Use breast pump to suck it out. Or squeeze it out. You can even help yourself to it being the husband, lol. It's very nutritious.
But seriously get the milk out. Good luck.

Lezzlie:
Love ? Since when love became that stüpid?

She's what I call a woo-woo!

She's just emotionally weak and thin-skinned!!!

I saw this was the second thread in sequence bordering on same issue with the same dude!


She's under this compulsion she needs to prove her womanhood to this guy with blind financial assistance!!!


Women empowerment


And it's just getting started!!!


Why does this verse come to mind, are we at the hour already?

And there shall be 7 women to a man, and will say to him, we can feed ourselves but we want to bear your name

Lol, funny dude!

But you're right, if this Julius girl was my sister the kind knock I will knock her head her brain will reset. Can u imagine the obnoxious guy begging threatening and cajoling for 10k, even telling her to sacrifice her laptop and put his interests first! And she is still thinking whether it's time to end the relationship? Unbelieveabe!

Op pls I join numerous others on this thread to plead with you to DUMP THIS GUY ASAP! He doesn't love you! He doesn't love you ooooh! Can't u see any man who asks you for money to the point of telling you to deceive others for it ISNT HUSBAND MATERIAL?

julius leave that guy. You will see that when u break up he'll be the one looking for reconciliation sohe can get more things from u! Don't be a fool! Drop his ass!

Teespice:
where are all the alpha males and all those boys who say that women are gold diggers and leeches.

dem Don disappear.

op, this dude is using mind games for you or should I even say reversed psychology. it's better you re evaluate things and figure out whether you want out or you still want to be a father Christmas or a mother new year.

you are an adult who can make rational decisions. all the best.

What has this got to do with alpha males Cuz this 'boy' is definitely not an alpha male. An alpha male would never ask his woman for money. Never! He'd rather die hustling first. This boy is a beta male and a shyster. A 21st century wimp who sees nothing wrong in duping a gullible female of her little cash. A... A... I don't have the word for it!

This guy is a pussy, not an alpha male!

Its possible the mother in law didn't like the girl at first glance and is using the opputunity to chase her away. Her response would determine where the relationship would go next. Her getting angry and walking out of the relationship could be just what the mother in law was planning all along.

She could humbly take the clothes to waah and the mother will drag the clothes back from her, or she cold go ahead and wash it and her mother in law will respect her all the more for it. She can quarrel with the boy after they have left the house to show her displeasure but the fact that she can wash her mother's clothes means she should be able to wash her boyfriends mothers clothes as well.

If your boyfriend's mother telling u to wash her clothes is enough to break your love for him then what kind of weak yeye love is that? Good riddance I say.

Allwility:
You see, African mothers no Nigerian mothers are excellent judges of characters. They have the innate ability of discerning things, picking out things the ordinary eyes wouldn't see. Like my parents would say, what they can spot out from a sitting position a young man cannot see it even if he climbs a mountain.

The mother giving the girlfriend clothes to wash isn't because the mother is rude or her son too poor to buy a washing machine. She isn't even assessing how well the girl can wash. She is deliberately putting her would be daughter in law on the spot. She's trying to judge the girl's character. Just a flinch from the lady will tell the mom a whole lot about the lady. Even if the lady forces a smile the mom will still take note of the fake smile. That's why most ladies are apprehensive about meeting their would be MILs. Best bet for any lady placed in such situation is to act natural!. Take her as your mom!!!! The lady can even make a joke of the situation by asking the son why he allowed his mom's clothes to pile up this much and saying something like "Im gonna change your name on my phone from Allwility to Lazy Allwility" or stuffs like that. Then wash the clothes and ask if you can join her in the kitchen because by that time the mother would be preparing food for the both of you.

This matter simple sef. My mother assess my friends by the way they eat their food whenever we go visiting her. Very few pass that test.

Talk about assessment centers!!

People seem to have forgotten we are Africans. Back in those days, girls go to the stream to fetch waters for their would be mother in laws and boys work in the farms of their would be father in laws. Of course they don't do it alone, they ask their friends to join them but everyone knows that such acts of love tell about how genuine their intentions are and is a real pointer to their character.

1000likes. Well said.

Artistree:
This photo is as old as I can remember and it is not photoshopped...google it!

They eat, right?
So how do they pass feces

dominique:
some women are the architects of their own problems. I read a very similar case on a page I follow on Facebook. She told her husband about the three day program, the husband warned not to. She told her husband that her pastor insists she must be there (who holds more importance in your life? husband or pastor?). She disobeyed by the time she returned, met her things outside with the locks changed (ironically she went for the 'ori oke' prayer to seek God's intervention in her failing marriage). Nobody could get him to take her back, not even the pastor. Now she's crying and wailing that her husband is now flaunting a new wife in the same church and the same pastor is giving his approval.

Seriously?!

iamSi:
Everyone should be careful how we comment on this post so as not to make things harder for the OP ... It may sound st.u.pi.d and funny but It might just be real on the other side.

It's best to say nothing than giving the OP options to die. I know of a certain OAP who mixed up and swallow pulp of cement cos she's jilted but thank God for today she's alive but yet if you listen or watch her shows today it's one of the best you can find.

For someone brilliant to have thought about ending her life that way ... Some of us get tired so easily. Just like immune systems , some are not that strong.

I can drink any water apart from Gutter water ooooo , but some here can't take just any water but these bottled ones.

This young man, should be prayed for cos eventually if he dies and u find him on punch tommorow reported dead am sure you won't smile ooooo.

Even if he wants to die why be part of it.

Thank you

It surprises me the way people on this forum respond to a desperate cry for help. Or can't they decipher a joke from a real situation? Someone is contemplating suicide in the middle of the night and others are suggesting ways he can end his life. Callousness and cruelty.

YelloweWest:
I don't understand what you mean by she can touch any pot no matter how hot.
Please explain

Me too am waiting for explanation.
That sounded weird.

lezz:
Women only began entering the workforce in Europe during WW2 and the development gap between Africa and Europe is wider then than it is today.

Lol!

Ah! Nigerian husband's must be the best in the world!

[quote author=danthamccoy post=43591190][/quote]@your illustration
Hahahahahahahahahaha

4. Some women deny their husband sex ‘almost’ all the time, Never make it a habit to deny him sex because you are trying to make a point.
He can also make many points between the office and home and you will not be one of those points. That, i believe is the beginning of family disintegration.

Lol

Its obvious the man and others around him are laughing to a public joke that was made. Even the woman beside him is smiling.

For most issues of domestic violence there is always an action before a reaction. There are few cases where we have violent men beating up women for no reason at all, that is madness. But most cases of wife beating occurs when the woman continuously provokes the man. He will eventually lash out one day. And then one naive idealistic fellow will say there is no reason to hit a woman but see nothing wrong in the woman insulting the man.
A woman should learn to control her tongue, just as a man should learn to control his fist. Both hurt. Both are bad. Both are to be curtailed.

But seriously this is an old story na.

A girl u barely know agreed to dance with u in a club unbeknownst to her husband. And the man came and met you and was cool with it...



But the moral of the story is nice sha.


Ok

chocolateme:
lol but why "OMG" when you see nothing wrong with the pics? Lol

Some were very funny especially number 3