₦airaland Forum

Who let the sicko out?

No sense made. Just a garbage of twaddle.

If you don't have anything reasonable to say please go to bed. Not everyone is as thick and shallow like you. Nonsense.

Elosky20:
money. onye ji ego na ekwu ihe nwanyi na anu

Haha. Okwa no onye ji ego bu ife nile?

Interesting piece but space your work for smooth reading.

He's said he's sorry and came over and you both talked albeit briefly. What then is the problem?

Hook up with him tomorrow for more talks, darling. Problem solved.

Unbelievable.

What went wrong along the line and why did she suddenly became bitter and set out to ruin the man? She must have had her mind corrupted by someone who advised her to implicate the man and have his British citizenship abrogated. I don't want to believe this story coz I'd be so vexed if it's true she was aware about the marriage plans.

francizy:
Really, I expect all feminists to practice that act of walking up to men they find appealing oh..
Maybe we'll soon get to the era where all men will have to wait to be asked out by females..

Real feminist and fervent adherent of egalitarianism are not afraid and see no problem approaching a man they like. It will be a disservice and unmerited affront to all true feminists and their struggle to examine feminism with the pseudo feminists we have on NL.

Some of us know the true characters of feminist and that they won't be scared to go for what they want. We can scratch beyond the surface boss. Though this cuts across feminism so let's not straitjacket it for now.

francizy:
I know say you must counter her! Kudos bro!

MizmyColi is to the ladies what you are to us on here!!

Nah, I'm her tutee. Still learning.

MizMyColi:

The reason most of us are against the idea of ladies approaching a man is because for aeons, our parents and those before them have been culturally imbued to think of the men as conquerors, as the pillar, the hunters, the providers, they are the backbones, are meant to do the hard jobs while the women do the softer ones....I really don't have an issue with this.

Over the years, our parents and those before them didn't seem to have an issue with it either. But our generation, being the adventurous kind and those who deliberately go after a change in the status quo have decided in their wisdom to upturn the belief.

Now here's the catch my Darlings‎

Because the scenario of mentality that I described above is still very much prevalent in our men today, it is GENERALLY not advisable to ask them out.
‎
True, I see no big deal in saying, hey, let's get to know each other more...etc - but we need to be conscious about the mentality, perspective and enlightenment level of the person we might be thinking of asking out.

As a lady, do you still have bits or bowls of ego and insecurity issues hanging around your life? If you do, please don't ask a guy out....if you both ever have an issue, your insecure mindset will tell you that he doesn't value you because "you came for him"

As a lady, do you have a level of confidence that amazes guys? If you do, then please, before asking him out, study him to find out to study if he is the kind that gets threatened by women who go all out to get what they want....if he's that kind, guide him in such a way that'll make him pop the question...that way, he'll feel more manly.

Lastly, if you are a lady who has come to understand the simplicity of life and has attained a level of enlightenment, and you happen to meet a guy who has attained such values, who for one reason or another doesn't seem forthcoming in that regard even though you know he wants you...you can spark a discussion in that direction or do sumtin little extra to show your availability.

For me though, I prefer being asked out. Not because of pride or ego...but because I want my man to lead..to be the leader, my leader...while I gladly follow


Ehennnnn
To my lovelies who are saying "he should Bleep off if he can't see a green light enough" Please sweeties...tone it down. I've been in your shoes too, and somewhere a little down the line, I found it a tad childish and proud to speak in such a way.
I apologise profusely if you feel like I'm judging you dearies. It's not intentional. I really do want the best for you all.
Hava happy year ahead‎

Nicely written. But pardon my ignorance. You said that if you're a lady who's insecure and egoistic one shouldn't ask a guy out. I've restated earlier that women who initiate romance are confident, bold and not afraid to go for what they want. Your admission of insecurity is to say they lack confidence, frightened by the thought of failure. What does that say of them?

In another instance, you said if a woman knows the man in question is a confident type, one who can't stigmatise her and if the lady is certain she won't be slighted she can make the first move? What you're saying here is that any lady who can't muster the courage and find a mind worthy of asking him out has no reason to be with such man, even if he's the initiator of an affair. The man is simply unfit for her. So my question to you is why should a woman involve herself in a romance with a man who lacks confidence and unsuitable for her even if the man is the initiator?

Oliviaarims:
But u can't know what I understand. I want to know urs.

Oh is it about individual understanding of 'first move'?

Oh well, my understanding of first move and which I believe it's conventional, it's that if you like someone and find them worthy to be part of your love life, then you ask them out. Guys and girls alike. Same method a guy ask a girl out and no waffy display.

Oliviaarims:
Ronald, u've still not explained to me what u understand by a lady making the first move.

I thought that's pellucid and self-explanatory. Same thing you understand by 'first move' when a guy is the initiator.

Oliviaarims:
It's not every man out there who's a real man. Too many will simply choose to try to take advantage of the woman.

And this isn't about any overblown idea of self-importance as u've chosen to believe.

Olivia, it's not about you and the reason being the post. It was an interesting debatable topic that warranted logical brainstorming but some mischief characters hijacked it from the first and second page as a terra firma to gloat and parade self-worth. And my observation and comment was aimed at them.

Toks2008:
Are you by chance related to prof wole shoyinka or senator patrick? Abeg take am easy o..lol

But seriously i want to be wooed by a sweet confident chic right now cos i don hang boot for wooing matter...

Self confession time at the bold?

You see, you are admitting your cravings to be wooed by a lady. Not to worry every guy loves to experience a woman initiate romance. So what makes anyone think a woman who's distinct and stepped out of her imposed precinct, out of her limits would be neglected and slight for displaying such exraordinary character. Who would treat such a sanguine and nonpareil character with contempt? Something you crave for?

I understand some irresponsible, unfledged, and sex-starved guys who don't value rare act of bravery will slight such a woman but to use that as a premise and citing culture or unnatural as grounds is laughable.

Toks2008:
My submission is simple...dont woo a man head on..show subtle signals i tagg green light.

even on nairaland a lady can show a green light by just quoting a guy and she could lash out at u and that can be a green light.

see ladies should wake up..real men no longer have time for this shit called wooing and these guys will just easily fall for any smart chic.

So ladies should continue forming levels,i trust the wobey guys to be on your neck and while you are feeling cool that a guy is persistently chasing you,the guy is simply doing wat he naturally knows how to do best and that is hunting you down no matter how long and how hard and once he gets u,he marks his register n move on...

Real responsible men will harly persist on winning a lady cos na even by Gods grace for them to woo you in the first place..quote me anywhere.

I've always maintained that we guys are responsible for how we're being treated by women. They would continue to lacerate you like the bellyaches that you are.

You see a woman and perhaps someone you've become friends with and ask her out. Then say a woman shouldn't do same citing culture as reason? Can you please define culture for a start and if it's constant or static?

A woman who ask a guy out is confident, and strong, sui generis and one with true character. It shows she knows what she wants and not afraid to go for it. It depicts one who's not afraid to defy her societal inhibitions and dogmas that aimed at restricting her potentials. And a real man will appreciate her boldness and examplary character.

A relationship is a two way street. Who ever made the "rules" of who always has to text first or do the asking is an idiot.

I ordinarily didn't set out to join the discuss after observing it was a luxuriant ground for some hoity-toity display of self-importance for those who falsely think they're some deity.

simplisity:
This is not a matter of calling u an old fashioned. It is very unnatural and uncultural for a woman to woo a man.

Speak for yourself and the class of women you have in your circle. What do you people think or assume culture to be? Culture is metamorphosic and evolves with time. If you think a woman shouldn't woo you just like you can woo them you're tacitly admitting you're not endearing and lovable even as its a confession of low self esteem.

This is referring to Toks2008 submission as well.

YourMain:
Ehm I'm pretty sure you're more likely to divorce than lose a baby after a baby shower. The baby shower is done at about 7/8 months to ensure the baby will be more than likely born.

It's not even a rule. It's just something everyone has some to like so we all just follow the norm because we actually do enjoy it. Baby showers are actually lots of fun and I'm sure it brings a lot of joy to the man when he sees how emotional his partner gets when his proposal is romantic. And that's okay. There's no point in defying something just because it's a fad. If it's not harming anyone then why not ?

Lol so you don't do anything simply for the heck of it? So what if you look silly ? Who cares ? I think it's them moments you remember that make you smile.

Baby showers are for both parents lol but yeah that sounds like great fun! The dad should be proud of himself. He deserves to be celebrated. Why not ? What harm ?

To be sure the baby will be more likely to be born, and that's it? Without the baby shower they won't be born? My mum never had baby shower on her kids and same for many and we are all here. It doesn't determine anything except for the joy the expectant mother and perhaps the hubby might derive from it. Which isn't bad but I'm only saying I don't subscribe to it. Doesn't mean those who fancy it shouldn't imbibe the culture.

Not until about 10years ago many people didn't know it exist until the media focus and women were still putting to birth. So why should it become an obtainable norm when we can still do without the attention cravings?

That something doesn't harm anyone doesn't mean it's worthy of emulation. I don't know if it would make sense if we should adopt the culture of engrossing in activities provided they harm no one. I can fart all day as much as I want provided I live alone and doesn't cause harm to anyone but I'm polluting the air and increasing global warming as farts contains methane gas.

To what end do we just live our lives as we want coz we don't harm anyone in the process

YourMain:
Well your woman must be amazing. Because as much as I want to conform and play "adult" my inner child is still there. And she wants to cry when bae proposes. And be shocked and be surprised. Then we can go down to business.

The knelling part is cute. But if that doesn't happen it's okay. You better request sha. The poor girl .

Yeah that's what baby showers are for. And to congratulate the couple. Especially the woman for the transition from womanhood to motherhood. And also get gifts and things. You might as well say there's no point of a wedding since the couple may divorce.

Well it's cute nevertheless. Stop hating on humans. We're cool.

This has nothing to do with maturity, it's about not pandering and conforming to rules that has no significance at the outcome or subsistence of marriage.

Yes a couple may end up divorcing after a wedding but that is a probability thus negligible. If divorce was a cinch then I'd say marriage makes no sense. Be that as it may, I still don't think marriage should be the goal, good companionship is priority to me over a ceremonial piece of paper.

And this also has got nothing to do with hating. I can't just embrace an invention coz majority does, I have to see it integrity and assess if it's worthy of emulation. Not coz the bandwagon brigade subscribes to it, no.

What next is in the offing for people to invent? A father shower where people would gather to celebrate an expectant dad for being able to prove he's a man who can get a lady pregnant? And we all start jumping in excitement and board the wagon train?

YourMain:
So you're just going to say " July 19th we'll get married, get your parents." Alright cool.

Baby showers are cute...

Lol. Not like you exemplified though. We're in a relationship and we both know and agrees we want to spend our lives together so I don't see the need for all those stunt and community imposed protocols. I'd prefer to just go down to the business of the day. Meet each other's families and kick start marriage plans.

Oh well, I'd request she be my wife but kneeling down doing so is not going to happen. Makes no sense to me.

I've to be honest I've never taking time to understand what baby shower means and to the best of my knowledge it is to wish the expectant mum a succesful delivery right? And if I may ask how's that going to change the outcome of the delivery process if anything was to go wrong?

My take is people are just increasingly getting bored and human's crave for attention is the drive behind all this invention. It plays no role in the delivery outcome, the longevity/happiness of the marriage nor the eminence or misfortune of the baby's future.

YourMain:

Lol. What's surprising, miss?

I'm not going to kneel down to propose to anyone, not even sure I'd formally engage anyone. We'd just get down to the business of fixing a date for wedding and every rite that goes with it. I don't conform to societal delirium. What next? Baby shower and other madness? No thanks.

Via text messages but that's if she failed to read the signs that I've moved on.

Ginaz:
Not all broke guys will remain broke, the rich ones of today were once poor dudes of yesterday. Money shouldn't be a citerial for choosing a husband material least we tempt God and miss out on our God given husband.

Some broke guys have ideals more richer than all this arrogant rich fvckers, all they need is opportunities to perfect their dreams. Y'all be careful ladies, not all that glitters are Gold, I would rather stay with a visionlistic broke dude with future plans than stay with a rich arrogant dude that thinks everything rotate around him alone. ( speaking from experience)

And by the way, its more fun to be with a broke dude and watch him build everything from scratch to a mansion. You gonna look back and smile, and you know you deserved it.

This can't be from the heart. I suspect it's a waffle and you're only pandering to political correctness. You don't need to make it so obvious to inhibit tongue lashing from members of my gender. Take a deep breath and look inwards and be real.

martineverest:
is it true or not? Are u also planning not to marry non-anambarian?

I don't have any current plans to marry from Anambra but if fate traject me that path I'd gladly embrace it. I'm not saying this coz I'm from Anambra but coz the assertion is baseless and spurious. If I can be receptive to non Nigerian women then why should a Nigerian be a problem just coz they hail from a different ethnic nationality? Who had control to the tribe they were born into that one should employ that as yardstick in judging them?

It has never be proven, can never be substantiated and a mere canard that Anambra men don't marry from a different state. I don't want to dabble into my views on "some" Anambra ladies and why they might not be an option for me as I have high regard for my state and ladies from there.

You can see from previous submission here that some have dispel it and even restated that their Anambra relatives are married to ladies from other states. I've in-laws from other states and tribe in my immediate family and that's why I get furious when I see people churn out sh1t from their ass as facts.

Why will people not live Anambra people alone? When will these archaic reasoning and unfounded allegation against Anambra people stop to exist? As if it's only Ndi Anambra that prefer to marry from their state and turning a blind to other southeastern states where such mentality is rife. And also turning a blind eye to the numerous inter-Igbo states marriages between Anambra men? WTF, let's have a break already.

Slimzjoe:
these are Mere Fallacies
My Dad is an Anambrarian But got Married to my Mum who's totally from Somewhere else.

I know many others who did too so this Is just Baseless Beer Parlour Talk

Told them bro in Zebrudaya's voice.

Nonsense. Unromantic guy my foot. How many of you ladies know what being romantic is? Or you think it's just guys that should be romantic

agya1:
Olamide messed up big time, this might affect his career cos naija fans can take sides.

You obviously think Olamide is Dbanj and Wande Coal that falling out with Don Jazzy will affect his career? Olamide is a boss of his own and a talented act with huge fan base and nothing will affect his brand, not even this.

I don't know any of Lil Kesh song but from what I read he's got great hits in the last year and deserve the award. This is not to say Reekadoo Banks don't deserve it either.

Olamide on his part is right to air his displeasure about the award and his label act losing out. But Don Jazzy acted foolish for calling him out saying he can have the car. That's a very stupid thing to do and very disappointing for someone of his class.

This just goes to show that his much touted humility might be a farce.

Concocted story.

Tempting? Was that meant to be an irony?

I knew it will be my Igbo brother when I saw the caption. He wants to be use it for business purposes and not coz he loves Jesus.

My wife has to be very skillful and talented in the handling of culinary duties. Coz I pride myself as one of the best cooks in recent times. So if she's the type who will feel threatened by a talented cook for a partner she has to be nonpareil and the finest chef of her kind, else I'd always find my way to the kitchen.