₦airaland Forum

ebamma: nysc stands for nigeria youths serving as casualities.

Nwoka: omg there's now chinko hp

miteolu: A Nigerian court sentenced Alamieyeseigha to two years in prison in 2007 for failing to declare assets in Nigeria, South Africa and the U.S. Prosecutors said he bought more than $8 million in properties with bribes he received from contractors while serving as governor. Alamieyeseigha also pleaded guilty to money laundering on behalf of two companies he controlled — Solomon & Peters Ltd. and Alamieyeseigha and Santolina Investment Corp.


1. Is only international courts that are very effective in fishing out corrupted Nigerians. All the agencies in Nigeria administering corrupt criminals are meant for increasing corruption.
2. If Alamieyeseigha could be sentenced to 2 years in prison what should happen to GEJ that turns declaring assets to joke.

JideTheBlogger: Price?

Biggyd2: I am not the originator of the excerpt below, but it does remind me of what goes on in this country, as a pun of course

Subject: If Noah had been a Nigerian 
 And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: ''I will give you six months to build me an Ark. At the end of six months I will send rain to cover the entire earth and destroy all bad people.
However, I want to save a few good people, and the animals, two of every kind. So I am ordering you to build an Ark for me'', said the Lord.
In a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for an Ark.  ''No problem'', said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints. ''Six months, and it starts to rain'' thundered the Lord. ''You'd better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very longtime''.And six months passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall.
The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. ''Noah'', shouted the Lord, ''where is my Ark?''.
A lightning boltcrashed into the ground next to Noah, for emphasis.  ''Oga, a beg make you forgive me,'' begged Noah. ''I don try - ah! Ah! De trouble were my eye see no be small, I swear. Dem tell me say I need certificate of occupancy before I go kuku build de Ark. I don waka Ministry of Works so tey I tire. Then, I come see say na money dem want, and I carry all de money wey I get gif dem. Na im dem tell me say make I add extra windows for ''cross ventilation'', and make I divide de toilet from de bath, so that if I de go toilet, another person fit de bath. Anyway, I pay one engineer so, make im modify de plans for me.
So, after I don finish dat one, I come go for forest to go get wood. Dem tell me say I no fit cut wood without permit from Forestry people. Anyway, I go see de forestry people dem and dem say I fit go cut de wood. When I reach de village now, dem no gree make I cut wood. Dem say I must gif dem their share - because na so one big man compensation. Na waoh! and me think say government no de gree us export wood. Finally, as dem wan fight me, I quickly settle de village chief, and dem com gree say make I take wood. Before I go carry de wood reach my house, na so so wahala for road. I settle police, I settle soldier, I settle customs, I settle immigration, I settle tax man, I settle local government, then when I don reach my house now, de truck driver and him boys say if I no settle dem, dem no go help me offload de wood''.  ''As I start to build de Ark now, na im task force people come mark 'X' for de Ark, say I no suppose to build de Ark for dis place. Dem ask me say whether I no no say ''environmental sanitation decree'' no de allow dis kind thing for inside town. Anyway I think say na my neighbour na im call dem, de man de jealous me well well. Wetin I go do, I settle dem too. As I say make I kuku hurry finish de Ark, na im de carpenters where de help me come talk say dem no go work again unless gif dem extra money. Me sef I surprise wen dem tell me say de here say na big government contract where I de do and plenty money dey inside. To cut long story, I settle dem too. Anyway, people plenty now wey de build de Ark, apprentice full ground''.  ''As I begin to gather de animal dem, I come jam another trouble. De ''404'' people dem no want make I take their dogs, dem say na delicacy. Bushmeat and fowl people no gree me. Even de people wey de chop ''isi ewu'' come vex with me. Dem ask me whether I no no say meat don too cost these days, where I wan carry de small meat where dey ground. So, I wan tell you now say, I no fit find dog, fowl, goat, or bush meat, and infact I just manage get cow, as one mallam don nearly dagger me when I want take de cow dem''.   ''One day as I de build de Ark now, na im NDLEA come arrest me carry me go prison for questioning. Dem talk say, dem hear say I wan carry de Ark smuggle cocaine & Indian hemp to America. Later, sha dem come find say no be me dem de look for, so dem release me, I never even reach home, when SSS come arrest me for further questioning, say dem hear say I be NADECO, and I wan carry de Ark go smuggle guns and bombs to come overthrow Naija government. Anyway, I come convince dem say I no know wetin be NADECO, dem release but tell me make I de report to frce headquarters every day. As I de gather de animal dem, na im FEPA come send me letter say I never gif dem environmental impact assessment for de animal shit where I go throway and de flood where you wan send. I tell dem say na you wan send flood cover de whole world. Dem no happy at all! Dem tell me say nobody fit do dat kind ting without permission from dem. Anyway, as de chief engineer say make I show am de place where de flood go start. I give am map of de world, he no satisfy, so I settle am too.''   ''As you see me de cry so, na because ee day like say dis wahala no de finish. De local government chairman where my house dey come call me tribalistic. Him talk say almost all de carpenters and labourers wey de work for me come from my village. Him talk say I must gif work to some of de town boys. I tell am make he send them, him no gree. Everyday him go send ''area boys'' to come cause wahala for me. Dem wan spoil de small part of de Ark where I don build so. Dem no dey gree us work again. Everyday where dem come here I must gif dem money otherwise, dem wan scatter de Ark.''   ''Oga Lord, I tell you, I don tire, even sef de other day, tax collector come, come say I never pay tax, say dem wan arrest me. I tell dem say I don pay tax last year, dem tell me say dis year I must pay de tax in advance, so I don kuku spend all de money where I get for settling. Make I tell you de truth, I no think say I go finish dis your Ark sef, even if you gif me five years,'' Noah wailed.   The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. ''You mean say you no go send flood take destroy de earth?'' Noah asked, hopefully. 
 
 
''Wrong!'' thundered the Lord. ''But being Lord of the Universe has its advantages. I fully intend to smite the Earth, but with something far worse than a flood. Something man invented himself.''   ''Wetin be dat?'' asked Noah.  There was a long pause, and then the Lord spake his last word,  ''Government"

edlion57: are dis fools try to fight our president

Kobojunkie: What a crock of bull!!! ROFLMAO!!

PeeBee: Sorry oh, but where in Nigeria and what kind of estate?

BUSH MAN: i already have 30 million and honestly its not a lot of money

CyberG: ^ Thanks for getting the gist! I see many failed attempts to lighten-up the ignorance of a few people who only listened to a few stories told over a place of akpu and eba here! This goes for all the e-warring tribalist parties on NL. Now, the usual tribalists get all touchy and defensive when people call them out firmly but truthfully. Can someone show me the llie in my post? Truth is tribalists are dark-hearted, soulically black and any attempt to light up ignorance with knowledge liberates the younger ones who are just hearing buzzwords and indoctrination.

@ Calloti: How it helps matters? Very obvious if you read the post: There's no need for fighting forever on NL. Anyone who cannot receive the graceful end to the war of 1967 has up to a week to engage the Nigerian Forces on a new war where the inferiority and superiority complex will be finally put to rest in a decisive REMATCH.

@ Posters: Here is the list of KNOWN tribalists on this thread: Blackpikin, Yeske, AfamEva. I see a few new names who are late comers to the party or just turn-coats with a new ID. Well, those 3 know who I am and even their super-tribalistic bosses know their nemesis when they show up here: Dede1 (King Tribalist), OnlyBIGLIES (chief Tribalist), Logic Mind (turn coat, irredeemable), Okija Juju (was surprised to find he has now joined the league of losers after indoctrination by ODedenson), Nchara (sold his soul to hatred tribalism), Mekuxxx, High Chief (Condemned to blackness tribalist), Manchy7431 (team tribalist member), Proud-Igbo, Htajz, OdualSoja, Bashr8 (super frustrated tribalist, ha!), Ezeuche (you should be number 2 just after Dendenson1, condemned tribalist), Ngodigha1 (tribalistic team mate with hate), Phreahrabbit (tribalist, trying to get promotion), DayoKanu (Ha! he is now a core tribalist too), lagcity (ha! tribalist), BEAF (OMG! How did I almost forget Supreme Tribalist Commander pretender), Uche2005 (also wants to split Nigeria in a different way using all kinds of maps), ACM10 (hateful tribalist, rank frustrated seargent), Ikeymann (subtle tribal quartermaster, plays every position in the game), BlueTooth~ (Ha, charirman tribal company), etc, etc!

There are many more but the more senior ones on this list know their super-boss when they meet them and you will see them abusing that I have called them out. Not all on this list are the usual aggressors, but they are as complicit from both sides. There are more on NL with multiple IDs. These people mostly are responsible for "This post has been hidden" especially the devil-assisted tribalists like Odedenson, OnlyLIES, Logic Mind (large tribalism shareholder) and CO. So, there is no need to waste time e-tribalizing the post. The Nigerian Army is on standby anywhere you want to fight. We are tired of how everyone is keeping them down because me myself, the thought that you people are blind sided by elites of every tribe stealing money, expanding and promoting corruption, etc while you fight is enough motivation to want to see you take on the armed forces. Yes, you are the majority of Nigeria and even the French, Britain, America are all tired. So, start your offensive immediately because WE ARE TIRED OF YOUR USELESS whining, complaints and empty threats!

pato405: on a more serious note, the trend of lifestyle of most 9ja babes now, is a sure prof that the prophetic end times are here.

just called 3 at random now, a little grilling, and they all really pissed mi off. the morals that were once a typical hallmark of the African lady is just no where to be found amongst this our generation of 9ja ladies. they talk too much, greed is their middle name, they are 'man eaters', a little lavish of funds can get them laid - even the ones that claim to be pastors daughters. what's really going wrong? something needs to be done fast o! look at the likes of this Idowugbo or whatever she calls herself for instance, go through all her posts on nairaland. none is garnished with courtesy. she hurls insults at will. not seen her though but if comments here on nairaland is anything to go by, her personality is anyone's guess ..typical street girl, a wastrel, a virago!

mikuz: President Goodluck Jonathan hasbegged the media to stop portraying the Federal Government as weak and ineffective in tackling the challenges of terrorism posed by the Boko Haram sect.
President Jonathan who spoke atthe Nigerian Tribune’s Men of theYear Award ceremony in Abuja noted that acts of terrorism in Nigeria were not against the government alone but also war against the Nigerian people.
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2012/03/stop-portraying-govt-as-weak-jonathan-begs-media/

Okija_juju: Everybody knows Ofemmanus are naturally cowardly, Loud and insane. . . I didnt need an FOI to tell them that now did i?!

sambas: I was nick named legend of the seeker, cos i had written utme 7 times all 2 no avail. Thank God i finally got my chance last year. No mata wat u'r nick name, this year is ur year. I was nick named legend of the seeker, cos i had written utme 7 times all 2 no avail. Thank God i finally got my chance last year. No mata wat u'r nick name, this year is ur year.

pDude: Why do you want to start another religious/tribal fight on nairaland? Haven't we had enough of those to last us several lifetimes?