₦airaland Forum

Proud to say I'm a mid-tier civil servant and I'm onto my own building project. Needless to say, it's an uphill task of unforeseen proportions. God knows if I'd any idea of the resources it'd might've gulped, I'd probably not have forayed into to field. Yet. It's been a day at a time, clocking three years now. I'm a ways from finished yet it's guzzled no less than N5m. Part-ways thru ceiling & interior plastering. No mention of flooring nor fixtures. No mention of the time & ancillary resources it's consuming (add a number of sleepless nights tallying the available cash to expenditure plus afternoons of absolute lunacy when you get to the site and your yeomen seem to be working at a pace slower than the hard-earned cash you pay). Ever had run-ins with the TPDA?

Got the parcel of land ways back thus its cost ain't an issue. There are times I feel I'd have been better off sinking the cash into biz of sorts cos that's what you do when you build - sink raw cash. Not to dampen the mood in the house. Merely a reality call to mid- to lower echelon guys out there: it takes more than the mere desire to own or build one of these things. It takes the grace of God!

Lastly, kudos to the guys who thru honest means have become proud home owners. From the heart.

Bunch of wankers!

Donnie Yen and the other dude in "Tiger Cage" sword duel
Yuen Biao and some other bad-ass boss dude in "Above the law"
Donnie Yen and Jet Lee in "Once upon a time in China III"
Snow and Yip Kun Sing in "The Duel"
Jackie Chan vs. the Boss in"Eight masters of the Shaolin arts: Snake and Crane"
Jackie Chan's final fight in "Animal fight"

And a host of other martial arts movies.

T-100 vs T-1000 (Mimetic poly-alloy ) in "Terminator II"
Yoda vs Count Doku in "Star Wars"

In fact, too many good duels to recount ,

If you're sure about what you're saying, why come to this forum at all? Reassurance? You don't need that! Justification for whatever course you decide on? Heck, people'll jusitfy even suicide on this forum! Don't assume anything. Confrontation seems necessary. Inevitable to maintain your integrity and keep your sanity. Why LovePeddler yourself to him - or make him gigolo to you (as the case may be)?

My take? If he's yours and you're sure, hold on tight and don't let go (not to cramp his space nor squeeze the life out of him though). If he's all wrong, then he's all wrong. Scram! As if your life depends on it.

And don't look back. Remember Lot's wife . . . . . .

Kill this thread!

I hate saying I love you either. But women, whom by default often need constant re-assurance, need to hear it all the time. The danger in saying it for me is the more I tend to say it, the less the words mean to me. I may ultimately stop feeling the words and say them for routine (and the girl's) sakes. I try to emphasize this to girls I've been with but they nonetheless demand I say it all the time. Oftentimes with disastrous consequences.

My point? If she doesn't say it, does she show it? If she shows it, it's ok (if I were you but I'm not, am I?). Some people are uncomfortable saying or doing certain (not all) things. Especially the reserved or shy types. Else, take time to have a heart-to-heart talk and be prepared to take the high-road should things not work out the way which suits you jointly.

But do have a talk with her about it if you feel so badly about it. Airing it on Nairaland isn't likely to guarantee you happiness nor the answers you seek. You may actually get misled or be spited. The best you get are personal views, opinion and advise. Like mine.

What the heck is wrong with you people, the guys especially. A fair percentage of the hypocritical ones dissing and yabbing the poor fella have rounds and bouts of unprotected sex with at least a girl. Many practice male "prostitution", if only they don't collect cash (a few do anyway). How many "wash-outs", "&C" and "MVA" have these girls had for you? Feeding on this guys naivety, you wolf on him relentlessly (and shamelessly, if I may add).

Truth be told, ol' boy, we all live with the consequences of our sins and STIs should be prime on your mind. Pregnancy is a natural consequence for what you've done. It's not a disease, it's God's plan for human perpetuation. You may however take solace in the fact that up to 13% of pregnancies may abort themselves spontaneously even before the woman is aware of being pregnant. You can pray, wish and hope. You ought however to arm yourself for the possibility that the presumed pregnancy may become a reality (it's not pregnancy until you've had confirmation of some sort).

It's been a while now. Be in constant touch with the girl to know the trends. Arm yourself with a little more knowledge on the topic so the earliest signs aren't missed. Or take a shortcut and have a do a pregnancy test. The outcome will determine which path you must follow. Or alternate courses to take.

Good luck. Be careful next time around (if there happens to be a next time around).

Lat word in: Two weeks ago, I was on my way to Abuja from Jalingo and a tanker had spilt some diesel on a road somewhere along the road (we were in Nassarawa). Pretty high road with fall-off being at least 50 feet in either direction. Another truck is sruck smack in the middle of the road (broken down, apparently). Traffic slows down to pass on either side and here-along comes another of those superman-drivers (driving an 18-seater Hiace van) who have found ways to defy physics. Careening round the bend, he tried to brake in time to avoid slamming into other vehicles. The snag? He brakes at the last possible moment (the "I-trust-my-leg" syndrome). Trusting his brakes in this instance wasn't quite good a judgement. He skids on the oil, swerves, topples over sidewards and slams hard into the ground only to lift-off and threaten to go over the shoulder into the ravine. Saviour? Another vehicle moving slowly ahead takes the brunt of the impact and saves everybody onboard; not from injuries however as passengers and driver alike bled freely.

Let's all remember that the laws of physics apply to all and sundry. Have faith but don't put yourself in a position in which it'll require divine intervention to make a turn-around. Heaven helps those whom help themselves, the saying goes.

Besides, the brakes, and indeed, the whole car is but a mechanical contraption. Rule of such things is they can fail in an instant - with or without prior warning. I'd rather be safe than dead. Fellow readers be sure to stay safe too. It takes too much effort to mourn.

A silly driver once refused to heed the complaints of we passengers. Remarkably, he was accelerating on an S-bend along the Oyo-Ogbomosho road, a bend which over the years, every sane man had deccelerated on. It appeared he was beyond the laws of physics.

The "Bang!!!" we heard was from the bonnet slamming into the rear wheels of a tipper which graciously didn't climb over us. Good thing for us as centripetal force may have tossed us into the bush.ravine anyway. Naturally, we all abandoned him with the car (notoriously a 504-wagon) and went our rspective ways. None were seriously injured (some bled) and typical for me, I was unscathed. God is good, ,

No use crying over spilt milk. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Expanded, it reads "nothing risked, nothing achieved". A fundamental aspect (not rule) of business. Nonetheless, it stands to reason not to gamble with what you can't do without. You made a wise choice to invest. The path to becoming a man.

Your wrong deed? It doesn't hurt to do a little homework on any venture embarked upon, regardless of how trivial. Make it routine and it soon becomes a habit. A little legwork would have made you realise Transcorp shares were in freefall. Might have saved you from your loss.

Learn your lessons - money can be lost just as easily as it can be made. Leave the shares as they are unless they fall further. If you need csh, sell them off and recoup the rest from somewhere else (legitimately).

Invest further when you get the chance to; this unfortunate incidence ought build your integrity, not marr you. Invest wisely. Let fools rush in; be the angel whom fears.

What else? Be happy! Glad! This lesson you've so cheaply learnt (and will stay with you if you've well learnt it) has cost some their life's worth to learn. Many a great man has been crushed from learning the lesson to late, notably those cushioned by having shrewd predecessors/silver spoon/blue blood. Better luck next time around ,

How many should I narrate. Pedestrian? Vehicle? Motorbike? The last memorable one was May 2007. Ambling along on my bike, a guy careens around a blind bend, slams dead into mine. His bike becomes an instant write-off and he's oozing and bleeding from a hundred pores and cuts. I had one significant bruise with plenty of swollen body parts as testimony to the severity of impact. My bike was crushed only as far as the front rims/mudguard up to the instrument panel (which I smashed with my chest - remained sore for weeks). My rear tyres inexplicably blew-out. The bastard ran off (being in the wrong and for assaulting a policeman at the scene). Four weeks later, he was captured, tried and jailed.

My losses? Fractures in both wrists and a banged up chest. Moderate bruising and an ankle sore. Traumatised ego (my tenth anniversary of riding bikes without a single crash was merely two months away).

Lesson? When you're culpable in a crash. Stay put as much as you can. The guy wouldn't have been jailed as I wasn't gonna press charges - not even to ask for a dime of his stash (he looked like he'd need it more).

And you're sure right about the timing. Premiered sometime between February & April I seem to remember. Not sure whether '83 or '84 now.

Have you any clips or links to clips of the "Voltron of automobiles"? I'm a collector of anime.

I guess you're one of a lucky few - or simply one of the few I've met - who've known more than on variant of Voltron.

Cheers!

Voltron's da bomb! But transformers still do rock! I've always been partial towards them. Even now, my transformers collection doubles my Voltron collection - and beyond.

Lest I digress too much, keep loving Voltron - either of the flavors available to you ,

Voltron's da bomb! But transformers still do rock! I've always been partial towards them. Even now, my transformers collection doubles my Voltron collection - and beyond.

Lest I digress too much, keep loving Voltron - either of the flavors available to you ,

@tundewoods

Just read your posts. Of course I remember the other Voltron. I called it the "Voltron of vehicles" as opposed to the other one composed of "Lions"

It's amazing no one ever believed me either. And you're right! It debuted in '83 - I guess April or something. I was in grade school then in Plainfield, NJ. For meeting someone who's actually SEEN the alternate Voltron force, I extended a warm and hearty handshake to you.

Cheers man!

PS: I've even got some episodes of Voltron (Lions) on hard disc

What do I say? I've been a while outta the hood but nuttin' has changed. The same ol' routine. The answer to this thread has gotta be individualized. But make sure you've got a paid job before you're married. One that'll conveniently feed two grown individuals and pay the bills. Subsequently, all other things being equal, I expect you guys to grow and "increase" (liabilities inclusive). That's how families are built. That's how they're made. And that's how most of 'em function. I wwouldn't lean on it hough cos I'm very much happily unmarried at the moment. Though I at times long for that ,

First on both sides. I get both the juiciest piece of the pie as well as the shittiest end of the stick. I'm complaining; at the same time, I dare not grumble.

Seen similar shit happen all over. It's not your fault. Nor is it their's. Just the normal societal/family "get your daughters married young" culture. You definitely don't want to fault that. It's proven even medically that ladies do better when they start off their families (child-bearing) young. Not to say you should start pouncing on teenagers (their bodies ain't ready for that yet, asides the social, emotional and economically drawbacks).

At 28, she's moving on upwards but she's got plenty of time. So do you. Ever heard of andropause? Anyway, don't do it simply because you feel obliged to, because everybody's doing it, everybody's saying it's the proper thing or simply because you're boxed in.

Your time (more importantly, God's time - if you can figure that one out) is the best.

Cheers!! {I like this one. As the thread grows, I may contribute more; varied responses will be the determinant}.

The answer is : You don't!
Not with your outlook on her and your apparent outlook on life. Massive reforms are necessary on your part - else your next relationship will end up in a similar fashion. If you can't marry her, don't sleep with her. It's been my motto since adolescent days and appears to work just fine. What if your next romp ends in an "accident" and she ends up pregnant as well. And subsequently you discover she's a lousy cook. Or holds your parents in disdain. What would you then do? Castrate yourself? The moral of the story is "look before you leap"

To the house at large, let the fall of a yellow leaf be a warning to the green ones.

@ hafees

Set up something reasonable for your baby-mama and for your kid. Only then would backing out be an alternative. A lawyer might be necessary. I'm an ardent believer of "a broken relationship is better (infinitely so) than a broken marriage".


Fix up your wrongs - then take a bow . . . .

@hbrednic

Capital isn't always generated from industry. If the banks were running short, as some claim, then the bulk of the capital comes from shareholders. Should the bank wind-up, it's the share-holders' loss. That's on the long-term.

On the short-term, trading is about who's gaining and who's losing. Where does your profit on the trading floor come from? Surplus funds on the floor?

Laugh some more . . . . but be careful of who's ignorance becomes apparent.

What advise are we given here? What advise are we giving as well? Trading of shares isn't for the faint at heart. Be prepared to lose - and lose big, even before you invest your first coin, for in so doing, you psyche yourself up for the inevitable. The truth is, while analysis helps in many more ways than we can enumerate here, you can't always win. The money you make was gleaned from someone else's pockets. The sensibility in all this is to know when to back out of the game, regardless of whether you're on top of the winning curve or the bottom of the losing curve.

Besides, regardless of our errant scribblingon these pages, the high-rollers will still do what they want. But thanks for the guidelines; may somewhat reduce the casualty rate.

Cheers!

Long courtships? Usually a tale of woe. Naturally, there are exceptions to every rule in the book, so we have phenomenal success stories of people who dated for decades. But my take? Avoid prolonging a relationship/courtship saga beyond what is "normal" in your own circumstance (bear in mind the concept of normal is subjective). I had a along-term courtship which crashed, with disastrous consequences on me (dunno what it did to my erstwhile spouse-to-be). We dated for a period long enough to have had a 2-year relationship and 3 children in marriage. We're both very single at the moment with nothing to show for the years gone by. THAT, is the the major fall-out of long-term relationships - should something go wrong, you'll both start wondering what better things you might have done with the "wasted" time.

Courtship should be kept as short as possible without jeopardising the future home. I'd say things should max out within 2 years. It all depends on your prevailing factors/circumstance (age, finances, emotional lability, proclivity, etc)

If you can't stand her being fat, let her know, on-on-one. Not on these pages. Obesity, whether pathological or self-induced isn't something to be laughed at or chided. Counsel the person. Let your mind out. If things'll work out. They will. If they won't, well, you'll know soon enough . . .

Swallow your pride and talk frankly with the person you soooooooo admire. Love potions are not the way forward. I heard the rebound is something out of this world. But do what you must, if you really must . . . .

Beans porridge hot, beans porridge cold, beans porridge in the pot three days old; etc.

I guess he likes his hot!

But HIV, Hepatitis testing and testing for other sexually transmittable diseases might be in order before you take a roll in the haystack. You don't want to become terminally pregnant, do you?

You want my piece of the cake? Marry first, get pregnant later . . .

Curious, but how did the hypothetical situation arise? I mean, how do you get to become a 35yr old virgin - and counting . . .

Anyway, while it's a feat, I see no reason why it should be spited. Or envied at that. Enough said. Back to our sinful thoughts . . .

Afterall, what kind of hypothetically idle mind concurred up this kind of thread?

Age is a matter of the mind - if you don't mind, it dowsn't matter . . . .