₦airaland Forum

I just have a question. Does Kiast accept WAEC from Nigerian Students or test scores?

I read they waive English tests for English speaking countries

Someone please help!

I don't understand these people again.. I thought it use to be Kenya now Ghana ti take over

She is very cute

Airforce is so popular on nairaland that each day someone creates a thread. Just for him.

Purehuman:
I am so sick and tired of this present generation. We seem to be the luckiest to have quality education and internet to educate ourselves more.

It's in our generation it was easy to travel by air to any part of the world.

It is in our generation we knew ways if getting scholarship abroad and get more educated.

It is in our generation that we get to know things in different parts of the world as it is happening.

It is in our generation that we can protest by just staying in our rooms and it will cause a change.

But I am so sad that it is in this same generation that we have the most stupid people in the world.

The youths that cannot stand for anything but moved by everything.

It is this generation that youths have been taken for granted for too long. They smoke and drink but do not have the power to make impact.

Just look at this idiot now, in his entire life, this is the biggest decision he has ever made. Alas, a stupid one.

I tire o

Hilarious!

The world have finally gone crazy

Aww you are so immature..

EazyMoh:
Yours is a small matter, I am in love with my ex who is currently married. I am contemplating telling her to divorce her husband so we can marry.
Love is Mad!

This got me laughing so hard

Yaba left!

Looks funny cos I keep imagining it's the bag

donstan18:
m

Wharis lol

nony43:
V

Rushia

As long as you have something/someone to pay your bills..yes cos you can't go and steal fa in the name of I hate my job.. except you get a better offer..

They look good together

IamLaura:
You rock matching P.Js and ask someone to take you and ur husband pictures to prove that ur marriage is waxing strong.
I never knew Mercy Johnson as a person that brings her relationship to social media until recently,you better thread carefully ma'am cos I don't understand this cheap show of PDA you've been displaying lately.

True talk

Does she love prison?

I don't really understand her

Nothing ever works in this country! Nothing!!!

Purebeerry:
Wetin you wan carry am do?

I wonder o

MhizzAJ:
Look at them...hypocrites!!!

She was asked a question and she answered truthfully...Most of them that criticised her aren't virgins too

Assuming she lied they wouldn't have believed her still

I don't know why people like condemning others like being a virgin makes one an 'angel' or a 'good girl' automatically

People are like that, usually..

Odianose13:
Because he is starting to make a fool of himself.

Gaa nodu ala..

Story for the gods

Odianose13:
Freeze again? Bros wetin? Even if u were sent from the pit of hell, be matured about it na. Open attack on a religion doesn't help o. Cos when u start suffering alone, nobody will be there for u.

Like if he did not fight, pastors will be there for him..

Pastors are mostly thieves.


Freeze is right!

sureheaven:
Freeze is enemy of the gospel

Story. You can go and give them your house if you want!

And the worst part is you will see them go there now and leave the players stranded in the airport.


CORRUPT FOOLS!

beautifulrosa:
Hmmmm
People are different sha. Everyone cannot be the same.

When i met my husband i didnt even know he is as rich as he is. He presented himself as a normal struggling guy and never for once hinted at his job. He jus told me he was an accountant. Nothing more. He jus looked a bit comfortable to me. Nothing to suggest anything.

Truth be told, at some point i felt i needed someone better, maybe with more money. But this guy loved me and stopped at nothing to make me happy.

Well d happiness for me was more important than the size of his pocket....so then we started planning to settle down.

Few days before our wedding, he started to let me in on the 'real' him. And then as soon as we were married....he let me in on everything. I was wowed. No d8oubt i had caught a big fish way way beyond my league.

Today, am grateful to God who didnt let me loose this sweet man who gives me with so much happiness.

Despite all that, i still want to be a hardworking wife so i can earn something at least to support him no matter how little. I wld not sit and expect him to provide all d comfort while i do nothing. I feel i can also contribute sso even if he had nothing i wld still av married him as it wasnt even about d money in the firsr place.

Not every lady can manage. Not every lady thinks she can do sth to support her man even if he has nothing.
Thats why i say people are different.

Women like you are what we need in this world. Kudos!

I am seeing your friend in vision coming here to tell us how his wife left him because of a richer man.

Congrats to them.

selflessmaya:
when ppl say never hit your wife, they mean never become the aggressor. what is happening to to you is domestic violence and your wife is abusing you emotionally and physically. you need to leave that woman fast. she's poison! don't try to change her, don't blame yourself for anything, just, cut her loose!

EDIT: so I just read the old article you included in the link, i change my mind. with more insight to this:
OP, I dont mean this in an insensitive way, your wife has some deep issues and must have suffered some intense psychological trauma to cause her to feel a lot of bitterness and act out in sadism when angry, the knife, the fork, hitting you with a shoe on your head and not stopping when you didnt even react!! this last one is a huge red light, something is really wrong with your wife, she loves to inflict pain and if her personality is as contrast as u say, that everyone thinks she's this sweet girl, then whatever is wrong with her runs really deep, it's not normal at all to keep hitting a person with a shoe on the head when they're not fighting back, she wants to hurt you, she wants u to feel pain.

I'm honestly convinced your wife has suffered sexual assault at an early age that led to a break in psyche, she's mastered suppressing her feelings, her nice girl act is not an 'act', she's actually that nice. but when she's angry, all the bitterness buried beneath the surface emerges and she finally deals with all the buried emotion in its magnitude, it overwhelms her and she wants to act out to hit something or punch a wall etc. when she's alone and unhappy, even when she lived with her parents, u really dont want to see/imagine what your wife does to and says to herself, this anger she shows you, she's lived with it for a long time, she's been her own victim till now when she made u her victim. there is nothing she has done to you that she hasn't done to herself times hundred.

if you choose to for better for worse it, find a psychiatrist or psychologist and go with your wife for counselling, your wife, with or without you will never change till she finally begins to work on whatever buried bitterness she's had to live with for years. try to get help together as a family or get a divorce if u would rather not go through it. it's really that simple, your wife will live with whatever has happened for the rest of her life but how she manages the accompanying emotions, her anger and abandonment issues can all be taken care of with a good psychologist and emotional support on your part. educate yourself on the topic of sexual assault and learn the necessary sensitivity training and triggers. counselling will teach you all this.

no, i'm not thinking too far, your wife ticks a lot of boxes:
-extra charming cos of distorted/low self image and need to be accepted
-her over-religiousness is for closure that she needs and like u said her prayers are always for her god to attack ppl for her. even her relationship with god isnt healthy, it's a coping mechanism. the idea of a protector that will attack on her behalf.
-she talks from 12am to 4am alone when you're asleep, OP, your wife is full of a lot of buried emotion, she really wants to talk to someone about something.
-despite being a nice girl, before you married her, she had no friends
-she's very quiet, hardly finishes her words (withdrawn personality, mastered suppresion)

you should never have raised your hands to hit this woman, when she froze for 5 minutes, it's not that she was thinking she overstepped her boundaries, she was actually coming back to her senses, when your wife gets angry, she loses her mind and forgets who she's dealing with. even worse when the person who angered her is male, she reacts with more venom cos subconsciously he represents her aggressor and she wants to hurt him to make him feel pain. she probably has conversations with herself and imagines herself confronting her abuser and being able to hurt him back and make him regret his actions and cries alone cos it's only in her imagination that she can deal with him. when a man makes her defensive in her personal space, she attacks. till u actually hit her, u just represented something that she has bad blood with and now you've added yourself to the list of men that have ruined her.
she has stopped hitting u cos she has buried the incident of the slaps too but OP, the same place it's buried is the same place her demons she's battling are buried, she wont touch you but when her bitterness surfaces when she's alone, this time you're one of her enemies. the resentment is growing and when she sees u, she's filled with such bitterness she shoves u. if u do not intend to fix this marriage OP, walk away NOW. a lot of bitterness is brewing in this woman and if you add yourself to the list, we will read about u in the news the day this woman snaps. the same way u never saw her eyes so red the day she yelled, u will never believe she has it in her to go the extent she'll go, your wife will surprise you.

nigeria does not have a good support system for ppl who have had to deal with the trauma of sexual assault, society takes it lightly too but this is 2017, ppl should educate themselves on this, when we read here everyday '6 yr old girl raped in lagos by 43 yr old man', that girl is someone's future wife and she will NOT just be like everybody else, the scars of her trauma will show one way or another and she'll need extra sensitivity cos she's a "special" case. your wife is not a naturally aggressive person, that i can tell u and it's sad that another human being created this monster in her. OP, this is really not your battle, it's not you she wants to fight, you did not give her all the bitterness she's carrying, so let the slaps u gave her be the last, you wife is a very very bitter scorned woman whose hurt has taken years and years to germinate, the person who hurt her isnt dealing with it, u are. if u add to her bitterness and it gets too much, the person who created 99% of this mess will not be the scapegoat, again it will be u. i haven't dealt with sexual assault personally or with a family member but i have met closely with some of the victims and the effects of sexual assault are too underestimated. ppl should be killed for damaging another human like that.

if u do choose to save your marriage:
apologize profusely for hitting her and become super sweet, if u choose to undo this mess, u have to be ready, sensitive, patient, very educated about this issue and strong for the both of u. if u choose to walk this path, u will watch her fall apart and u have to be ready to help her reassemble.
don't let her hit you, hold her hands and keep holding it and talking to her till she calms down. your wife is actually a very sweet person, the person you knew her to be when u married her exists, just buried under layers of bitterness. i dont blame u at all for hitting her, there's nothing illogical in hitting someone who came at u with a knife, i can understand why u snapped but let it be the last time. your wife wants to talk to you, listen to her, she talks when you sleep, when you leave she follows you, it's annoying but it's her subconscious, she really wants to reach out. listen to your wife! make out time and let her rant, she will talk about so many things, no matter how messed up it sounds, keep listening. then talk back about whatever and if she interrupts and tries to talk, let her talk, just listen. u can stop the midnight talks by changing it to day time. stop sleeping in your sitting room, move back to your bed.

when you're ready to make the move, try pulling it out of her, on top of your new sweetness, be extra extra sweet to her for the whole week like her sh!t dont stink, on a friday(so if she spills, you'll both have the weekend to grieve), make sure she's in a nice awww darling mood and when you're holding her, just brush by a conversation u heard at the office that made u really sick "about a dude that assaulted some teenage girl and how mad it makes you that men like that are still walking around breathing and if they ever dared it with someone u care about, u'll deal with them and how no matter what she was wearing or where she was, no one has the right on another person's body without consent and the worst part is there are girls out there who have experienced this and told no one and the animal didnt get caught"
stay on the topic of sexual assault and follow body language, dont change the topic, be gentle, when she cracks, try to get her to talk, say what u have to "she can tell u anything, u wont judge, u love her from here to japan, if it affects her it affects you, u are both one and she can confide in u etc" when she talks, encourage her to keep talking, show that you're listening, console her all you can, cry with her even if u have to force the tears though i doubt you'll have to force them, make her see that whatever sunken place she's in, you've somehow gotten there too but dont cry more than her haba. tell her that both of u will go for counselling together, find a good therapist and go with her till she makes progress to go alone. make sure u find a therapist before u try to get her to talk about this and once she talks, the upcoming monday, begin therapy. and dont expect to work this out in 2 days, give yourself time like 4-6wks to build the emotional environment of trust and zero judgement to be able to access her when the time comes. note: she has to open up to you before you can go for therapy.

-u can expect her to go into depression for a while, she might need anti-depressants, sleeping pills too, she will be dealing with a lot of emotion once she finally lets someone in.
-NEVER EVER make a joke about her incident or say something mean to her about it... NEVER EVER!!! NEVER EVER!!! I MEAN IT OP.
-if u want to divorce her and not work through this, which is honestly the easy way out for you, then pls dont bring up anything i just told u here, dont taunt her over this, dont ask her about abuse or anything, just let the marriage end and pretend u didnt even read this. she will still live with herself so she has it heavy already.

i really do sympathize with you, u have found yourself in a very unfortunate position and no decision u make will be easy. sadly enough, i feel sorry for your wife too, she's really lived her hell and she's putting you through it. both of u dont deserve this. i also applaud you for all the grace you've shown, it's very hard to break the cycle of abuse, abused ppl mostly pass it on to others, maybe not in the form they received it but they leave their mark, so i can imagine how strong a person u were to endure all the emotional & physical abuse. and no, slapping her back was not abuse, u defended yourself full stop! dont feel sorry for yourself, just do what u have to do: stay & do the work to mend this if u can or leave if u cant.
u have to accept that your wife has issues that cause aggression when it flares. in time, u will also notice she's protective of children or animals or things she pictures as defenseless, it'll show in her mothering, not wanting your kid to go out, being too clingy to the child, convinced the big bad world is out to get her child, all that u will both work through in due time. once you can get your wife to show you the dark place she's in, it'll not be her safe place anymore, she can't hide there anymore, whatever comes to surface will be dealt with by both of you and u will finally live with the smiling smiling girl u married. good luck OP

You are selfless indeed. I hope op sees this. Thank you

MaeBlocks:
For the first time I can actually say I found a sensible and educative post on Nairaland.
Am usually bored reading long post but not with yours as which paragraph was well packaged. May our good Lord expand your knowledge.
Growing up as a female child in our society has never been easy and young children are not even taught to talk to their parents or elders when they have been assaulted. I too, am a victim but have never spoken to anyone about it till this day. I rather chose to suppress and forget they ever happened though sometimes I fear what the outcome will be. I am my only friend and I talk to myself a lot. I have never insulted, beaten or screamed at my husband while we were dating or now that we have been married for 3 years because its not his fault and I have always asked the Lord for his grace to do what is right each day but am hyper-super protective of my daughter. While I was pregnant I kept on asking the Lord a male child so as to avoid the pains of my past, even my husband was surprised of my insistence of wanting a male child. Well at the end of the day the Lord gave me his own choice. I will teach her how to be free in talking to me, but Lord knows that whoever dares to touch her will get 100% of my bottled up anger.

Sorry you had to go through that alone.. Be strong still..Everything will be fine someday.