₦airaland Forum

Thanks for your posts.

Lets have this one.

FLOORING THE FERRARI
Doing 120 in a 65, he knew he was in trouble when the cop pulled in behind him with the roof lights on. Figuring he could just lose the cop he floored the Ferrari. 130, 140, 150 and still the cop was right on his tail. 170, 180, still could not ditch the cop. Giving up he pulled over.
The cop approached the car," Give me one damn good reason why I shouldn't give you the biggest ticket this world has ever seen"
"Well, he stated, " Just last week my wife ran off with a cop."
"SO WHAT!!!" the cop screamed.
"I thought you were trying to bring her back."

Q: How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?
A: Give him a piece of paper with "Please turn over" written on both sides.

An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running.
A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.
Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer,
"I think I'm planting them too deep."

OLD WOMAN WHO HAS A BABY

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says, "Not yet."
A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, "Not yet."
Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?"
And the mother says, "When the baby cries."
So they ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?"
The new mother says, "I forgot where I put it."

@ omotofine,

Se omo baba lo jo chipanze abi omo yar'adua?
mo gbagbo pe omo baba ni ooo, ni to ri, omo ni lati jo baba e e.

Emi fe fe omo na, ati omo yar'adua, mo gbagbo pe ti mo ba fe chipanze kekere, chipanze nla a fun mi ni eyo kan ninu awon refineri to wa ni orile ede yi (olorun lo so bee)

Ehen, ejoo mon wa iyawo oooo, ele te mi ni ago lori ero yi. odo, mejo, odo, meji, mejo, mefa, meje, mejo, mejo, meji, meji, tiankiu, ese.

And hey, obirin ni mo so ooo, mi o fe iya oo, abi mama arugbo ooo. ti e ba pe mi, e ni e fe ba Ife soro, ma je yin.

Eyin Omo Oduduwa,

Se lo o to ni won ni baba iyabo ta refineri poti ha co tu? to ba je oto ni, ko da ra ra oooo.

Ati pe, se gbogbo yin ti MIGRIMORE? ani jeun so ke?

Ma wa ki yin ni ale oni, e wa omo sile fun mi oooo

@ Cute_and_ Hot

Is a simple case, the fact that the woman cannot read doen't mean that she can't forever, she can go learn how to, get back to the blind man and start helping him read his papers, and above all, the woman can lead him to a pastor or babalawo for a charm to see, if the problem arises that the blind man cannot read with his eyes opened, then the both of them would have to go for an Adult Education Class (AEC).

I think with the above analysis, the problems are not only half solved, but solved totally. So lets know what you want to tell Seun, his my friend, I can help you tell him.


Cheers,

Segoye2

All we need to say is No to this unecessar extortion and when worse coms to worse, lets setup all the scammers around us and hand them over to the police, and situation where the police is working same line, the International Community would be glad to assist.

Lets say No to any form of Extortion, any form of Scam!

Dear Naira Land Users,

Am Segoye2, I reside in the Niger Delta region of Nigeria and a citizen of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

I read through all the contributions we have on this thread and I want to say a big thank you to Mr. Admin for putting up such a great topic. But when we talk about scam, I believe is not restricted to the yahoo yahoo, as people back here call it, but, has its root in the sand of the most honest men of our country.

Like in the case below, you will discover that almost everything in here is scam, if you don’t accept it now, I believe someone close to you, soonest will make you accept it.

I quite appreciate the great wave the Nigerian immigration has taken into ensuring that Visa, Passport and other immigration issues are tackled easily online, which means every processing would be very fast and easy to make.

I want to report a case that has been given me concern, and as a citizen of this great nation, I felt such shouldn’t be heard or seen, even if heard before, shouldn't be now again. I wish to report to you the Nigerian Immigration Passport Continuous Extortion of money from Innocent Nigerian Citizens.

The fact that International Passport Application can be done on internet, from the comfort of your home or a registered cyber cafe is no more news to an average Nigerian, and is a welcomed development, and we citizens appreciate the brain behind this great project.

A friend of mine, who currently works with the NNPC Medical as a Laboratory Technician is scheming for admission abroad, and as part of the requirement for any international student, we, with the information on online international passport application which can be done at www.immigration.gov.ng, we bought a card from UBA bank which we got at the actual amount spelt out on the immigration site (5,100), and we applied for the international passport online just as advertised / instructed and made the payment and got not only an interview date which was re-scheduled by us because it was too close but got the application payment slip and acknowledgement page alongside. And Asaba Passport office was selected as the Passport Interview Venue.

Below is an extract from the Nigerian Immigration Website;

General Procedures For Passport Application:
1. Applicants go the Immigration Web portal, Click on the 'APPLICATIONS' link.
2. From 'APPLICATIONS' click 'APPLY' under Passport Application Home.
3. Select Passport Type From the Drop down list and select the type of Passport you want.
4. Click The 'Start Application' Button to start the application
5. Fill the Passport Application, check the 'I AGREE' check box then click the 'SUBMIT APPLICATION' Button
6. From 'SUBMIT APPLICATION' Click on the 'Here' Link to view and print the 'ACKNOWLEDGEMENT SLIP'
7. Click the 'Pay Online' button to pay for the Application, Then choose your mode of payment then Click 'CONTINUE'
8. View a summary of your Application, Then Click 'PROCEED' if information is correct, a payment window Opens
9. A message will Appear to show if your payment was Successful or Not
10. If Successful you can view and print the 'PAYMENT RECEIPT'
General Documents to bring along for the interview:
*ACKNOWLEDGEMENT SLIP and PAYMENT RECEIPT Showing Passport must be printed and brought along to the Passport Office
*A letter from the applicant's Local Government
*Applicant's Birth Certificate or Age Declaration
*Applicant submits Two recent photograph (no laser copies), passport size bearing the full face
Standard Passport Application Requirements:
1. A Guarantor's Form signed by a Magistrate or a High Court judge.
2. Parents' Letter of Consent for minors under 16 years.
3. Marriage Certificate, where applicable.
4. Husband's Letter of Consent for wives.
5. Police report in case of loss of old passport.
6. Applicant submits application with supporting documents to Passport Control Officer (PCO).


Contrary to the information supplied above from the Nigerian Immigration Site, when she got to Asaba on 7th of May as was on her Interview date, with the documents she was asked to come along with which cost her lots of stress to travel to her local government to get the documents, she was bounced back by the immigration officers operating the Asaba office, they claimed she would have to pay an Extra 6,000 (six thousand naira only) outside that which she had already paid to the bank, She was played around by not only one immigration officer but about four of them, one even collected her documents and went into the thin air after he promised processing the passport with 5,500 (though she retrieved back her documents + the card she bought at UBA from the supposed immigration officer that collected it from her on 14th).

The officers gave out their number and even some gave their complementary cards, we felt this is unnecessary extortion that needed attended to. And personally, I felt if their is need for more fees to be paid as they claimed, then, it should be spelt out on the Nigerian Official Immigration website and anything outside that is another level of scamming the Nigerian Community and nation at large.

The Interview date was re-scheduled for 14th May, after she was turned back to her base which is about 2 hours journey. When she got to the passport office on 14th May 2007, to the shock of my life, she was told that if she doesn't pay 5,500, nothing would be processed she’ asked to go and get someone else that would attend to her. Though I already asked that a receipt should be issued for the 5,500 which I believe / hope they would issue. But, a receipt was not issued, they claim they don't issue receipt, As at 14th May 2007, about 144 paid this undocumented fee, which I believe our great national corruption / scam baiter should probe them for this act, I still asked myself where is this whole money going to? I wonder how some persons / group of persons would be stealing with their conscience on, and above all, I still wonder the authenticity of this whole passport exercise.

I want you to use your good offices, see to it, that this injustice and unecessary exploitation / extortion of our community is stopped, if not on the case of this innocent citizen, but on other innocent citizens that even to raise the 5,100 is already difficult for. And I want to say, as a citizen of this country, we have, I have right to say No to this money extortion. I have right to say, corruption has to STOP!

I later received a call from a friend in far northern part of the country and he made me know that this whole issue is as old as the Nigeria Nation itself and it a nation wide issue. And to me, this whole extortion exercise has to stop, for the sake of our future, our history. And outside this great extortion process, Would you believe that our children and young people are being killed for rituals every minute of the day in Nigeria?


Many of the things going on in Nigeria can only go on in Nigeria. And just as I promised the officers that I will report the case to immigration directly, I hope and which that investigation be done fast and the culprits be brought to book, and in a case where the money they are requesting for is Legal, and then I will urge the Nigerian Immigration to please, include it on their official website and include it to the adverts / jingles to enable the Nigeria community know, how much they would be needing to process each passport and should there be any need to get the cell number of this immigration officers, I would kindly supply them to you.

If Nigeria cannot be saved, then what about the Niger Delta?

Sincerely yours,


Segoye2
Activist / Online Campaigner
Niger Delta, Nigeria.

Nigeria; when the preferable is not available, the available becomes the prefereble. So as we have it, we take it.

@ Cute_and _HOt,

Well, can I have a clue of what you wanna tell him? atleast, a problem half shared is half solved!

False prophet draws Latinos into an unholy faith
Wednesday, March 14, 2007

There is a Latino who calls himself God. Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda says he is Jesus Christ, while at the same time proclaiming he is the Antichrist.

He is also apostle Pablo reincarnated, Miranda says, and has the apocalyptic number of the beast 666 tattooed on his body.

Miranda is the leader of a church he calls Growing in Grace, which is headquartered in Miami.

Pay off

Media sources say Miranda has around 80,000 followers in several countries. By his own account and other sources, Miranda has amassed several million dollars.

In a recent interview for La Comay, a Puerto Rican TV show, Miranda stated he has received numerous expensive gifts, which have not given him trouble with the Internal Revenue Service as these gifts are nontaxable.

Last week, the newspaper El Tiempo in Bogota, Colombia, reported that Miranda has churches in 23 of the 32 states in that country.

The same article reported that one of the church members, Alvaro Albarracin of Miami, donated 20 percent of his earnings to Miranda's church after he sold his Internet business, Dialtone, for more than $16 million in 2001.

Luz Fuentes, another Growing in Grace member, acknowledges giving the church 50 percent of her mortgage company's income.

Fuentes even honors Miranda in her company's name, Apos Mortgage, as Apos -- for apostle -- is one of Miranda's many nicknames. According to El Tiempo, Miranda's followers also call him papi and dios, and at the same time flood him with gifts.

Church members show their commitment to the church by tattooing their bodies with 666 or SSS (the first letter in six). They are very proud of carrying this seal, they say.

On the attack

Miranda's followers have caused many disturbances, even attacking Catholic marches and religious gatherings of other denominations, according to Jorge Raschke, pastor of the Pentecostal church in Puerto Rico.

Raschke challenged Miranda to a televised theological debate to "publicly show (he is) an impostor manipulating followers to lavishly enrich (himself)," he said on La Comay. At first, Miranda did not accept the challenge and argued that Raschke would "be beat beforehand, as he is not prepared to debate God." Finally, Miranda accepted, but it is still not known if the debate will take place.

The controversy was first made public on La Comay.

In modern history, several characters have declared themselves illuminated and ended up taking their followers to a tragic end. David Koresh, for example, called himself the Messiah. He had been expelled from the Seventh Day Adventist Church and joined the Branch Davidians religious sect founded by Victor Houteff.

Koresh joined the Davidians' headquarters at a Waco, Texas, ranch, and, ultimately, amid horrifying scenes and clashes with authorities, led more than 80 of his followers to their deaths.

A similar case was Marshall Applewhite, a former music teacher known as "father John." His gospel declared an apocalyptic end for humanity.

Certainly, since father John was allegedly invested with divinity, he had the solution to save his followers from such a devastating future. The only solution was to go aboard a space- ship, just like Noah's Ark, that would take the chosen -- father John's followers -- to heavenly domains.

In March 1997, the comet Hale-Bopp came close to Earth. Father John said the celestial phenomenon was a divine sign and convinced 39 people (21 women and 18 men) to commit suicide. He promised a spaceship would come behind the comet, collect their bodies and take them to paradise.

Similar cases occurred in ancient times. In Egypt, there was a very well-known story of a "man who played god." Artisan Ptahemheb, led by his lust for wealth, power and recognition, convinced a few people that he was God. It is because of those who believed his lies that he became a semi-god.

There is no doubt all cultures have had false idols. However, it surely seems that Latin Americans are quite susceptible to manipulation based on faith. Perhaps it is a religious zeal that springs from Latin America's geography and gets mixed with rich mythology and a variety of legends.

Charlatans abound

The Latino soil is fertile not only for apocryphal and false idols, but witches, populist politicians, spurious leaders and all kinds of charlatans.

Millions have abandoned faith and genuine religiosity to put their destiny in the hands of con artists.

One of the secrets of prosperous peoples is they know how to identify authentic leaders and true prophets.

Those without that capacity wander as a flock of docile lambs behind a wolf in sheep's clothing.

A friend called me from Nairaland and said this whole thing is done not ristricted to State Passport Office alone, but is done nation wide. Lets join hands to say No! to this extortion, I stand up, lets stand up!.

Great Talk

Many of the things going on in Nigeria can only go on in Nigeria.
Nigerians are being killed and duped every minute of every day. SORRY.
For your information, Nigeria is dangerously; lawless and corrupt, and we must do everything we can to save Nigeria.
If Nigeria cannot be saved, then what about the Niger Delta?

An Extract from A letter written to Hon. Tony Blair, by Women of Africa International.

I felt ashamed of myself being a citizen of this country, and above all standing as saying at this jet age, some group of persons from the stone age are still helping in the black painting of our country.

Contrary to the information supplied on the Nigerian Immigration Site, a female friend of mine got to Asaba on 7th of May as was on her Interview date after applying for internatinal passport online, with the documents she was asked to come along with which cost her lots of stress to travel to her local government to get the documents, she was bounced back by the immigration officers operating the Asaba office, they claimed she would have to pay an Extra 6,000 (six thousand naira only) outside that which she had already paid to the bank, She was played around by not only one immigration officers but about four of them, one even collected her documents and went into the thin air after he promised processing the passport with 5,500 (though she retrieved back her documents + the card she bought at UBA from the supposed immigration officer that collected it from her).

The painful part of it is that, this is an exploitation, and you too know that, because no reciept is given. And she had to travel far to Asaba to get the passport done.

The next time you go to www.immigration.gov.ng and read things like International Passport 5,100 naira, don't place your budget on it, because is a scam, you still have lots of illegal money that no receipt would be issued to, and when you think deep, tell yourself Segoye2 said, everyone is aware of it, even the government is aware that this is a scam which noone would want to talk about.

God will judge, God dey, history will judge us all, will judge Nigeria!

Well,

My quote goes this way;

What happened to PTDF Report?

Mo fe fe 1 of omo Obasanjo obirin, but ti o baje pe Okunrin lokun, ma fe fun Mama mi.

I lost my cell phone to my girlfriend!

To my own opinion, Togo, South Africa and Ghana are giants of Africa, while Nigeria is their Baby!

I really like his boldness and his compilations of no head way Grammers, but the problem am having with Mr. Okotie is that he is a liar, even up to using the name of the Almighty God to Lie, Landers, this man really need to be questioned.

I watched his TV Show during his first campaign and heard him talking about God saving to him that, even if we did not vote for him, he will be the president, that failed maybe because he sinned, but what happened this time, May 29th is still is date?

Forget it, a Liar is a Liar, nd sometimes, confused persons like this have no option but use such avenue to market themselves into modelling, selling books, or selling music tapes.

I believe Okotie's God told him he will be the president in the year 2047 and not 2007 so, is just a matter of missing number "4" instead of the "0" his seeing right now.

We have thiefs as leaders with nothing but great ideas on opening hidden accounts with ghost names, OBJ No 1, Tinubu No. 2, Atiku No. 3, and so so so,

I find it irrelivatic idiotic to call such a man of great sense of lies a man of God.

And come to think of it, has he ever done a healing or normal ministration like that which other pastors do? NO!. Instead you come to church with a big note book, 2 new working pen alongside an Oxford dictionary to translate all the grammatical annointings into small small paticuls, mean while at the end of the day, all fall down to 2007, is our year, May 29th is our day, Jesus is Lord.

Is not a surprise, maybe gods really told him, but even when they did, he should have waited for the voice of God.

@ Thread Author,

Please say somethin else instead of this trash. Meanwhile, this thread pose a great threat to the religious unity of this nation.

I advice you go to bed and get some few rest, when you wake up, great ideas + opinions will drive in.

The Guy is a pocket scrapper and not a man of God.

God is not man, his words will surely come to pass, he will never, ever lie.

If Okotie heard from God the first time and God changed his mind and allowed OBJ the first time and again OBJ Kiddies this second time, and even while every NIgerian has accepted his faith, his talkin about forcefully or miraculously beating a constitutional process, then he should have his head checked, and even that of his Blind Group.

My advice for his followers is pray to God to speak to your pastor (Okotie) instead of sending Devil a message to deliver to him (Okotie). and please watch out before opposition parties send in time or praise bomb to your political oranisation (Church)

@ Thread Author,

Why raise this post, don't you know deep inside you that this man Okotie is a liar? huummmmmm. leave matter for matayaH

won gbe abiku fun baba iyabo pe fun naija as president.

subon the person ton soro o fe so fun won pe baba iyabo Bleep up. Mon binu baba orubo yen fa.

@ Funmeme,

emi ko read meaning si gbobo tick yoruba yen oooo

I think the international community has a limited power in this regard. A female Activist ALICE UKOKO made known her intentions to pick of the case in UK, but I still believe such a move would cause more harm that expected.

Is just 4 years, and soonest Nigerians just like the word of Fela Anikulakpo, Suffering and Smiling, they always get used to it and this case won't be an exception.

Instead, lets pray for long life for our Mr. New Presido and request that Rev. Pastor Prophet Okotie, take him for healing or even his name sake, the big brother Okotie.

Man Big B1,

Am doing great, is long I heard from you, I was worried but now that you are back, is great to have you back!.

Well, the issue of Yar'Adua emerging the president has been predicted by our brothers on the other side of the sea, and though we would have reverted and make such scheme a failure if only we stood our ground and stand with someone that has been under the international crime watch, someone who has his name to protect and who will not have to start opening new accounts with strange name to loot our national cake(as they put it).

I admit that they (Nigerians) prefer a delegated presidency to that which has to make his decisions without a God father's consent, even that which can not give a fight to corruption as a sign of appreciation to a corrupt process.

Some voted for Atiku, and still heard Atiku's reason for not accepting the INEC result announced because the election was not held in rural areas in Nigeria and where he claimed 80% of Nigerians live in the rural area, even Atiku knew that too, but his lots of years in office has no effect on this same 80%? or the managed solving it from 90% to 80%?

The next thing we will hear is another big appointment for Iyabo OBJ, atleast that would be the last help from a boss Dad!

Fela Anikulapo said it all in his new album titled "Sincere Riggers"

@ Mamajama,

I know we have been havin some few misunderstanding lately, how are you doing? Well, you should know that No National Assemble Kilo de in this country oo, all we have is a group of elected men of Iro.

@ All,

Lets join hands to pray for Yar'Adua for long life, because with whatz on ground, his just like a lamb being led to the slutter. Meanwhile can you refer him to any church for deliverance or healing?,  huummmmmmmm?

Well the whole scheme smells like shit.

Tinubu might be a thief as PDP claimed, he might have succeded in opening more and more hidden accounts with strange names than that which they already discovered. But, we know why his accused; accused because Lagos State election was an election that had not only credibility, but lots of transparency. Even INEC had not say or power to do their usual Oriburuku and Ori e o baje stuff.

So even, when Tinubu is being prosecuted for his great misdeeds, 1 day na 1 day, OBJ go seat down and watch his side blocks throwing him a prepared copy of all his master hide and seek kit.

TINUBU IS A THEIF, but realised himself this early, what about a thief that still assisted his bang of Ori e o baje to get into the scheme back, God dey, history will judge you, OBJ and your kiddies!

@ All,

Do you have more updates on Tinubu's case or has he dressed like a woman too? abi him don Wole?

Brother Big B1,

Is pretty long I heard from you. How are you doing today? I know you are really doing cool.

@ Thread,

Well, I think is cool to have a third term in disguise. But the most annoying part of it all is Yar'Adua still allowed himself to be played into this whole mess,  He used to have a clean and cool record, but now, His Credible way of winning this whole election has shown to all that, He fought with them, stood for them, and at last joined them in this whole scheme,

Anyway,  OBJ still on the track cover project known as "Operation No Trace"

IBB, has said it all, they are all confused fellas, they all need prayers to get out of this mess, and to Yar'Adua, I pray that the present pressure His facing should not in anyway cut short his life as we heard his Kidney's are Gquasmed!

ARISE OH LORD, ALLAH, GOD, JESUS, EDUMARE, OGHENE, CHINEKE, OLORUN, UBANGIJI, ME-SHEITO, YAWEH, JAH, JEHOVAH AND SAVE YOUR LOST SON, NIGERIA.

I got this news on www.thenews.com

There are indications that some key members of the present administration have been pencilled down as ministers in the in-coming administration of Alhaji Umar Musa Yar’Adua, the President-elect. P.M.News authoritatively gathered this morning that 18 members of the present administration would be part of Yar’Adua’s cabinet when the Katsina governor eventually assumes office on 29 May, 2007.

Some of the names on the list, allegedly drawn by President Olusegun Obasanjo for Yar’Adua, include: Mallam Nuhu Ribadu, the current boss of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), who is expected to be announced as the Inspector-General of Police, to succeed the current IGP, Sunday Ehindero; Malam Nasir El Rufai, expected to be named the Minister of Finance; Mrs. Nenadi Usman, Frank Nweke Jnr.; and Chief Femi Fani-Kayode.

Others are: Alhaji Adamu Maina (former PTDF Executive Secretary); Alhaji Adamu Muazu, former governor of Bauchi, who lost the state to ANPP, Chief Onyema Ugochukwu (PDP governorship candidate who lost the Abia gubernatorial election); Mr. Akin Osuntokun, former Special Adviser to the President on Political Affairs and Director General, News Agency of Nigeria (NAN), etc.

P.M.News gathered that unlike in the past when governors were given the mandate to nominate candidates for ministerial positions, the PDP hierachy did the nominations this time around for the President-elect.

It was also learnt that ministerial nominees would cut across party lines, as members of the opposition would also be incorporated into the new government.

Presidency sources also revealed that the ruling party would not pass through any of the opposition parties in choosing any of their members to serve in the Yar’Adua cabinet.

Alhaji Yakubu Jibril, a former field officer in charge of Bauchi State at the National Economic Intelligence Committee, while confirming the nomination of Muazu, said: “We are aware that the federal government will be accommodating Governor Muazu, but we are ready for him because he cannot be our representative.

“We have an avalanche of petitions against him at the EFCC and ICPC and we are ready to produce same before the National Assembly, which is constitutionally empowered to screen ministerial nominees.”

http://www.nas-int.org/news/2005/RipplesOver$22mInUSBank.html

NA WA O . . .

THIS SAME BABA IYABO?

This site looks like a scam site to me, try know the source of the site @ www.godaddy.com

Eya, so Tinubu is not that smart all along.

Well OBJ should be charged too, he opened an about in 2004 and from that same account he borrowed or dashed Fasawe his friend 700 million dough. Is that not worth probing too? lets leave Tinubu, he has done a great thing and is worth it, I approve him opening 16 more accounts.

OBJ, History will judge you. will judge us all.

Just heard this and can't believe it! you gat any info about the news please?