₦airaland Forum

Keep applying, I will attend to your applications as soon as possible. And please remember that noone is gonna ask you for a dame, this service is for the previously broken heart, the present beoken in heart, and new lovers. Just tell us what you need.

@ Wale,

Thanks for your support, I like people that believe in the Nigerian thing. I know people would be suprised if I invite someone great from a super dating site to access your aplications. Meanwhile pls. try tell them to upload their pictures too, if helps too.

u can vote for him then, ass brain

Do you need a girlfriend or boyfriend, we are not restricting it to boys / girls alone, you can apply for manfriend and womanfriend, and even sugarmummy, sugardaddy's, sugar brothers, and sugar sisters here, we are ready to supply you what your dream wants, just upload your requirements here, and we get back to you.

RIP Adefarati.

When Adebayo was a governor of Ondo State, he never did something tangible or worth seeing for the state so I wonder why this whole episode of him comin in as president of this country is really comin into play. I think I still reserve the option of assessin AD as a party and want to say, from all indication, they failed their bid for choosing a presidential aspirant for themselve nd their entire political ground-nut.

Love doctors got help here

maybe junmi should bring da phone maybe i'll bring d microwave, ur phone will be most preferrable. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

@ Victor O.,

Thanks for that sharp reference. Can you share where that with us? Must be in one of this tipical village where the top selling GSM service provider hooked up with a very big wave of mercy. I guess that would be Ijebu area.

@ Jummi,

Thanks for the great support, you are right, they need to produce the materials for the experiment.

@ All,

I snapped the mobile phone today, but was dame dark, when I tried taking another snap, gush, I was nearly cut my the owner, aha ha hahaaa,

If you know you are a winchi co-ordinator and really know how to co-ordinate winchies to China, then recharge my mobile, better still, lets start producing magic mobile, like i want to call, I will conjure ur ear or head from anywhere you are and speak to ur ass head.

Still, as a winchi, you can do a lot of things, so many things, Don't ask me for clue to those things because am not one, but still to let the spirit of writing flow, you can be the next king of your village, while you make me the assistant admin to Nairaland.

I think Mr Admin is not talkin on this issue, what do you think about him? Do you think his in support of the the thread author flying to china with some group of local league winchies? I think Mr. Admin is right.

Africa winchies get board if the discussion is out of the usual meat and blood comminion.

@ henchyk,

Please direct that questions to winchi winchi in Owerri or Winchi co-ordinators, I know you already know them on this thread.

Well, I still think am the most qualified because I studied Gism in one of the best universities in the world located @ Toronto, so believe me, and remember when say believe me, you should.

Engr., you can help us with your mobily phony, or wont you?

@ ogorluv,

Well, I already have seen it myself, but for reference purpose, you can produce the microwave while Engr. Carlosein provide his phone for the experiment. I think not all phones can melt like that of our lady friend, Engr. Carlosein mobile cannot melt, I can bet it with my whole mind, abi carlosein?

@ All,

Am still making great efforts to snap the funny mobile. I was in her store this morning and was starring at the mobile and was like, Sister can I snap that phone? Can you pls advice me on how to do it better? should I just ask her flatly? I mean u need to see the remaining by all means.

Any better idea please?

@ Thread Author,

I read through your post, was well written. 1st I will say if our government is really caring, well to do, reliable, and responsible, and then, only then, they can stop all the oil nonsence going on in their, and the unfair treatments melted on our poor people of the Niger Delta.

And on the other hand, they are part of the government, so they are part of the problems of the Niger Delta.

@ ogorluv,

Huuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm The Test is not far fetched. Get a Microwave and insert your mobile phone in it, switch it on and lets see the result.

@ Omo Eko,

Can you explain more please? like how much can one make?

@ Winch Mukina2,

Am not taking his job oo, he can still me the admin, while I be the owner, shikena.

@ All,

Can any winch credit my mobile phone for me? I mean I need magic recharge card say for 42,000 gs

the richest guy in nigeria is OBJ. but the source of his wealth, hummmmm, Otta Farm, hummmmmm, no, Aso Rock Farm. followed by Atiku, from PTDF Farm and other minor farms

Ok people, thank you for supporting this great project. I suppose you like it because are want a free trial or free copy, all the same. I have it fully tested now, but I need something to complete this whole test. I need Akara, can you help me out? Akara are you there?

If you need addresses of this full time wintches, you will need to travel down to Ijebu where we have Seun, I think he can be of help, show you ur way around.

ok wintches, I gat a proposal for you.

Tell Seun to Dash me nairaland.com, I swear I need it, first I will privatize all major forum categories, and make all of your register with you either credit card or recharge card on this thread.

Ma second proposal is I want to marry from nairaland just grant anyone for the sake treasuresm.

Meanwhile am ready to you anything you want, I mean anything like, palmwine, palm oil, palm canel, parmi, paupau, pepper, anytime of fish, broom sticks for your new plane, and my password to this forum. ha hahaha ha

Huummmmmmmm, a man at 76 want to rule this country. I believe he would be 80 years @ the end of his tenure. I wonder what this so called top mentalist take this entire country for.

PDP is giving us someone that has unstable health condition.

AD sending in a great grand father, Abeg, I tire,

Thanks God I have no candidate am going to cast ma vote for, so, let them do it, as they always know how to do, let them select them ass selfs again.

Is only in Nigeria I discover that constitution can be changed because of the interest of any person, group of individual.

What a DEMo of crazy old generations.

I still wonder why he decided to go into Coke biz instead of bank robery. Not aonly fraustration, Fraustrating Ni.

Another side of the story from punch website:-

Actors deny colleague caught for drug trafficking

Haba! Nollywood is at it again. One day, one story. It is no longer news that another Nollywood actor, Uche Odoputa, was nabbed last week at the Murtala Muhamed Airport for alleged drug trafficking.

Skip to next paragraph

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Odoputa

Life and Beat gathered that the actor was on his way to London when security operatives caught him.

Sources disclosed that the actor who had featured in a couple of Nigerian movies like Passionate Appeal, A Serious Mistake, Issakaba and Opposite Love, is still chilling at the NDLEA’s office pending his arraignment in court.

Incidentally, anybody who knows Uche know that he is ‘born again’. This is one guy who would start preaching as soon as he sighted anybody he knew.

Many believe it was frustration that led him to become ‘born again’. He went as far as going to a Bible College and becoming a personal assistant to his pastor at his church in Ogba.

Life and Beat also gathered that things have been rough with Uche in recent times, as he was no longer getting roles the way he used.

But Nollywood actors have come out to say that frustration or hard times weren’t any reason for anybody to dabble into drug trafficking.

In fact, the Actors Guild of Nigeria has denied Uche as a member of the association.

According to the president of AGN, Ejike Asiegbu, “Uche Odoputa is not a financial member of our association. He used to be an actor, but in the last four years, he has not featured in any movie. We are not happy that our name is dragged to the mire. We are responsible professionals and we do not condone such act. Very soon, we are going to issue a press statement to declare our stand on this matter.”

In his own reaction, Bob-Manuel Udokwu said he was shocked when he heard the news.

“It came as a surprise to me. I was dismayed and shocked.”

But his shock and dismay did not lead him to cast any blame on anybody.

“I try not to cast blame. His actions could have been motivated by anything. I have not spoken to him in a long while, so I can’t say what he is really into. But the thing is that this kind of thing happens in every sector. It is just that we are in the eyes of the public. Marriages crumble everyday, but once that of an actor crumbles, it makes headline.”

@ busygirl,

Ok, thanks for that.

@ All,

I just got this again on the said actor.

Nollywood drug suspect, whose real name is Uche Odoputa but lied to anti-narcotics operatives that he is Tochi James Peter, has said that he went into drug trafficking out of frustration.

A source at the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) told P.M.News that the star actor said during interrogation that because the movie industry is in the hands of a few people and they decide what others get, he decided to go into drug trafficking to make ends meet.

P.M.News gathered that the actor, who is currently in NDLEA's detention facility, will be charged to court soon for drug trafficking.

Odoputa was arrested last Friday, 23 March at the Murtala Muhammed International Airport, Ikeja, Lagos while attempting to board a Virgin Atlantic plane to London.

It was gathered that he excreted about 1.336kg of cocaine after his arrest.
Aged 36 and a native of Imo State, the suspect's travel documents read Tochi James Peter.

AKURE — THE Alliance for Democracy AD yesterday called for the postponement of the April elections following the demise of its presidential candidate, Chief Adebayo Adefarati. It has also declared a three-day mourning period nationwide following the death of the immediate past governor of Ondo State.

At an emergency meeting of the National Executive Committee (NEC) of the party held at Akungba-Akoko, home town of the late former governor of Ondo State, the party said it had written INEC on the death of its candidate and the party’s position in accordance with Section 37 (1) of the Electoral Act, 2006.

In a communiqué issued at the end of the meeting, the National Chairman of the party, Chief Mojisoluwa Akinfenwa said that, “As a democratic party with a pedigree, the AD is solidly committed to the forthcoming elections and as such has written to INEC stating our position in accordance with the provisions of the Electoral Act.

@ All,

I wonder what killed the great man, anyone gat info?

Female genital mutilation (FGM), often referred to as 'female circumcision', comprises all procedures involving partial or total removal of the external female Instruments or other injury to the female genital organs whether for cultural, religious or other non-therapeutic reasons. There are different types of female genital mutilation known to be practised today. They include:

Type I - excision of the prepuce, with or without excision of part or all of the clitoris;
Type II - excision of the clitoris with partial or total excision of the labia minora;
Type III - excision of part or all of the external Instruments and stitching/narrowing of the vaginal opening (infibulation);
Type IV - pricking, piercing or incising of the clitoris and/or labia; stretching of the clitoris and/or labia; cauterization by burning of the clitoris and surrounding tissue;
scraping of tissue surrounding the vaginal orifice (angurya cuts) or cutting of the vagina (gishiri cuts);
introduction of corrosive substances or herbs into the vagina to cause bleeding or for the purpose of tightening or narrowing it; and any other procedure that falls under the definition given above.

Health consequences of FGM

The immediate and long-term health consequences of female genital mutilation vary according to the type and severity of the procedure performed.

Immediate complications include severe pain, shock, haemorrhage, urine retention, ulceration of the genital region and injury to adjacent tissue. Haemorrhage and infection can cause death.

More recently, concern has arisen about possible transmission of the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) due to the use of one instrument in multiple operations, but this has not been the subject of detailed research.

Long-term consequences include cysts and abscesses, keloid scar formation, damage to the urethra resulting in urinary incontinence, dyspareunia (painful sexual intercourse) and sexual dysfunction and difficulties with childbirth.

Psychosexual and psychological health: Genital mutilation may leave a lasting mark on the life and mind of the woman who has undergone it. In the longer term, women may suffer feelings of incompleteness, anxiety and depression.

Who performs FGM, at what age and for what reasons?

In cultures where it is an accepted norm, female genital mutilation is practiced by followers of all religious beliefs as well as animists and non believers. FGM is usually performed by a traditional practitioner with crude instruments and without anaesthetic. Among the more affluent in society it may be performed in a health care facility by qualified health personnel. WHO is opposed to medicalization of all the types of female genital mutilation.

The age at which female genital mutilation is performed varies from area to area. It is performed on infants a few days old, female children and adolescents and, occasionally, on mature women.

The reasons given by families for having FGM performed include:

psychosexual reasons: reduction or elimination of the sensitive tissue of the outer Instruments, particularly the clitoris, in order to attenuate sexual desire in the female, maintain chastity and virginity before marriage and fidelity during marriage, and increase male sexual pleasure;
sociological reasons: identification with the cultural heritage, initiation of girls into womanhood, social integration and the maintenance of social cohesion;
hygiene and aesthetic reasons: the external female Instruments are considered dirty and unsightly and are to be removed to promote hygiene and provide aesthetic appeal;
myths: enhancement of fertility and promotion of child survival;
religious reasons: Some Muslim communities, however, practise FGM in the belief that it is demanded by the Islamic faith. The practice, however, predates Islam.
Prevalence and distribution of FGM

Most of the girls and women who have undergone genital mutilation live in 28 African countries, although some live in Asia and the Middle East. They are also increasingly found in Europe, Australia, Canada and the USA, primarily among immigrants from these countries.

Today, the number of girls and women who have been undergone female genital mutilation is estimated at between 100 and 140 million. It is estimated that each year, a further 2 million girls are at risk of undergoing FGM.

Naija blood is full of 419 and scam activities. I think they are right, they are always right.

@ Thread Author,

Ok, why not try tell them that you want to donate blood to Nigerians overthere instead of donating to whites? so many things dey involved sha. things like nigerian blood will make them black. F++K malaria, Malaria can not be the reason for stoppin naija from donating their corrupt bloody blood.

@ All,

Am in London right now, and don't know much about the U.S of a thing, we could introduce (Agbo) or gbogbonishe or touch and go, overthere, since malaria is like HIV now, is a good biz and great proposal, think about it. And I believe the author of the thread would use this opportunity to take a great advantage of this Cure, be proud of it, make them see they are wrong, and if you or others that felt bad about this small thing, then you can come over to naija, I will give you a link where you can sell your blood for 45 USD, thats extra 5 USD for you.

Is better slaving home than cutting dirty jobs abroad, first, Nigerians are not supposed to donate a dime blood out there unless if the case is emergency. How many Ugandan's, Ghanian's or even U.S citizens have you ever seen donating blood here?

(hissing)

I was dame crazy that I had to move down to the plaza this morning to ask her what was her observation after warming the wet mobile, trust naija babes, she said:- E melt from back,       , I helped her out by adding e don but burn from back. I wonder why she couldn't eat it yet.

You mean Ijebu Girls can be that dame funny? Well have not met any yet, that would be great to know that not only one exist, but a tribe of them.    

Try guess more, I will show her the thread maybe soonest and try see how to convince her to allow me snap her with ma phone or camera and upload it in this thread  

Funny, girl with a roasted mobile.

Ok, I know this is going to sound like another level of Joke, but is dame real.

A lady @ the last Shop where they sell supermarket / white man food, in the shopping plaza where I go once in a while to browse if my home connection is down did something very Crazy.

I saw her in a very moody manner and I had to ask her watz wrong. She said is her Phone.

What actually happened she explain:- I dey eat so my pure water wey i dey drink come pour on my phone.

I interrupted:- The water plenty?

She replied:- No, na small oooo

So I queried:- so wetin come happen

She settled down to answer me:- I come put ham inside the ehnn, this thing wey we take dey warm food (Microwave) and before I know, the phone come melt.

I can't help myself but give her a full dose of all the laugh I could offer, was great funny. I think wat was on her mind would be; the phone is wet, and micro wave can dry it up, dry up in deed, What ever be the case, She got it DRIED UP, What a roasted mobile phone.

Don't ask me where she's from please because she is from somewhere you already know.

@ Raymaid,

Thanks for the the remark, apology accepted.

@ All.
Huummm, so whatz the name of the dude? I really wanna know more about him.

And I still wonder why the best Maz. in the country would pick up a strange name for a shit eater. Really amazing and dame funny.

@ Exxcite,

Dear Wirch coordinator, I think you deserve some holy ghost fire / water to cool your head off.

I think Seun is a witch. I mean the Blue one, Blue witch na internet witch.

@ Exxcite,

Dear Wirch coordinator, I think you deserve some holy ghost fire / water to cool your head off.

I think Seun is a witch. I mean the Blue one, Blue witch na internet witch.

Great Topic,

Am a software developer and think I should let you know that I have a software called Garri Creator. Is an easy to use software and can do more than you really though. You can use it to extract garri from the Net, and put it in your MOUTH , yes, I mean open it, sorry, I wanted to show you a kinda sample.

It costs about 5 USD to get, you can send me your email address and password and I will forward a free trial version to you.

My team are currently working on Akara Cooker software to make our great softwares a blend.

Nothing like Garri, No place like Ijebu, No software like Garri Creator.

I was in London for 6 months, 2 weeks, thanks to my Aunt, Was busy feeding I with Eba, garri, akpu, and the rest, was fun all through

Star01,

Agreed with you. They even smoke Mary Ju wa na on state now, I think we need to start praying for them ooo.

@ all,

Wummi promised to act her own story and she gave out the name, so, what do you think about that? I think is still gonna smell like real shit.