₦airaland Forum

[quote author=mondi_cheeks]im here to stay [/quote]That's cool. Happy to have you here. So, what's your favourite movie?

[quote author=mondi_cheeks]Helllooooo [/quote]Welcome to the chat room dear. Good morning.

Apart from movies stuff, I believe this thread should also help us know one another better.

Like prof now, I have an imagination in my head that he is an eighty years old man with grey afro and well-kempt beard. I may be wrong...you know

And let's share how our day has gone. I believe it brings us kinda closer and not just about movies and so on. [s]And if we noticed someone that's usually here is long gone; when he/she comes back, there must be an 'update' on what has kept him so busy to even post one thing within a week[/s]

Just suggesting...lol

Lol@ godofmusic's suggestions. Good morning to all.

@ Prof. ..I was also bothered why the room was as silent as a graveyard for somtym nw. All izz well. But I don't believe in inviting some certain ppl to keep the thread 'alive'.

VillageBoi: For where? I get pot-belly?

Is that ur definition of a Big man?

Morning o.

^^^^^

Thanks, ijebabe for helping a brother out. Though I believe your response was borne out of "care" but I just find it funny. Pardon me. Lmao.

Briareos: Yes. But it is not encouraged.

Why?

lertee: I found you here at last. That was a nice piece you got there.
A very good message not to trust too much. Poor mary

Lol@ you found me here at last. Thanks very much for your comment. I'm glad you liked it.

Frabidel: Nl moderators,I av been watchin u guys.u like discouragin people...despite d fact I'm always be d first person to post here,u won't move it to homepage*re u guys collectin bribe or what?all is well sha!

It's frontpage ehn...pele. Don't worry, your time will come. Patience is a great virtue. Just keep striving to be the first to comment on threads with great "potential". The moderators would soon notice your efforts.

VillageBoi: The BigBoi dey take sabbatical every week

I see. If he is a BigBoi...you be BigMan

Where's speedyboi btw?

[quote author=god_of_music]Congratulations, this is a great opportunity for a career start. [/quote]Thanks. We'll see.

Kslib: @sholay,i saw your work on FP..
I loved it.. Nice work..

The scene where the old woman was staring at him from the other side of the street was very creepy..lol
I thought he was in danger,only for me to find out he was even involved.. Nice twist..

I also loved how you used few characters cos it painted a mental picture in my head that the street and environs was lonely with no one to call for help, hence making the the story more creepy..lol
..
Nice job!!

..
All izz well!

Thanks very much oo bro. I duff my hat for the funniest man on NL. Hope you're good?

aprokomania: thanks for the compliment sholay. akpu wouldnt be bad. i would like to work with you on this movie if you wish to release it.

You are welcome. I am just a scriptwriter, not a filmmaker. So, I have 'released' it already on nairaland .

But I can work with filmmakers whose emphasis is on quality.

Thanks to the mods oh for putting my script on frontpage. Seun Osewa has promised to pay me the allowance attached to such

Babzilla: THATS THE BEAUTY OF STORYTELLING IT CAM SWING ANY WHICH WAY.
SPICE IT UP WITH PLENTY SUSPENSE. THEN GET A VERY GOOD DIRECTOR TO
TOP IT UP WITH LOTS OF BLOOD AND GORE. STUFF THAY
THATS BOUND TO MAKE PEOPLE LOSE SLEEP AND THEIR APPETITE.
Y'FEEL ME? UNFORTUNATELY I DONT HAVE TIME I WOULDA DONE SOME EDITS ON THIS

Yeah...I get.

Nemidav: @Sholay,nice write up bro! Tss sooo cool....re yuu on whtsapp? Bbm? I fink wee need to talk.thanks

I appreciate your feedback bro. Not on bbm. Here's my email address: oladesuolusola@yahoo.com.

tobi kush: this is a nice piece shollay...mankind needs people like you...nice story indeed and i love it.

Thanks very much bro. I appreciate your comment.

HAPPENINGS9JA: Riveting piece! Really nice read. Had mh eyeballs almost pop outta my head when I read the husband was behind it all.

Want to make a proposal (not marriage o) to you. Kindly avail me of your email address. You can send it to contact@happenings 9ja.com

I hope to get your response.

@ the bolded part of ya post.

Tnx very much bro. My email is simply: oladesuolusola@yahoo.com. I appreciate your comment.

tony ayo: Where was i when u posted this one, just seeing it 4 the first time cos it's still making d TV/MOVIE section 1st page, damn... this is good, the feel, dialogue etc. And first and foremost 'SCARY', scarier than ur earliest thread 'naija horro story'. Tuale bro, this one really got me hooked. I know i came late sha, in two words: GOOD TALE.

Tnx Oga Tony. I appreciate.

chromatic: Nice one! BTW I think the dialogue is cool, nothing wrong in anyway..especially the part Jaye and the Madam Q, had me in that scene pretty well, the way he expressed his shock when Madam Q dropped her bomb, I like it.

Thanks bro. I'm glad you like it.

hopeyemmy: Whether na telling or na showing, I enjoyed every scene. Great piece! Props to you!

Lolz. I appreciate you, bro. O se joor.

Young po413: Chei see film!
Nice one,keep it up.

Tnx very much. I appreciate.

Babzilla: *SHRUGS
NAH IM SUGGESTIG IT
U DONT NEED TO TAKE IT
JUST GIVING U A FEW ANGLES DATS ALL

Hmmm. Tnx very much. I appreciate your suggestion.

Lol. @OP....you sef no well

Life has taught me that only what you do for a cause wholeheartedly would last.

Also, life taught me not to ever try suicide no matter how difficult things are, I should be patient; I'll still die.

Babzilla: WHY DONT U MAKE MADAM Q TURN INTO A DRAGON OR SOMETHING HORRIBLE THEN EAT UP EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE THEN BURNS DOWN THE HOUSE WITH HER BREATH B4 FLYING OFF SCREECHING

Lolz...

Pls, are you being sarcastic or you're really suggesting that?

You must reply me ooo.

[quote author=C'est moi]I was just playing and imagining it in my head while i was reading it.Nice one![/quote]Tnx very much dear. I appreciate.

atlbj: Fantastic write up! Keep at it Sholay2011, i see a bright future for Nollywood with you as the most sought after script writer.

Lol. Thanks ooo. I appreciate . Me too just dey learn ni oo.

Ikamenze: Its a not perfect bro......there's nothing like a perfect script..

This is my observation.
- You made use of too many Parentheses..
- You need to work on your DIALOGUE..it has to at least sound realistic..try reading it out loud next tym..
-You didn't exactly stick to the “show,don't tell” rule in your narration...and there was too many unnecessary info in it like....(They are eating white rice and stew with juice to wash it down// Mary is wearing Ankara)...

I know you were trying to paint a vivid picture but the way I see it,and this applies to all writers in d house, No matter how hard you try to be vivid or should I say precise with your descriptions,at the end of the day,its really up to the READER'S IMAGINATION...when a character is introduced,let's say MARY for instance,you can say she's tall and fair in complexion with curly hair but in d reader's head,he or she may have already pictured Mary to be short and dark and dats how he's going to see Mary till the end...the question you should ask yourself is,does Mary's height and complexion really do anything for the story? Does it add or remove anything to the storyline? If it doesn't,then why add it? D way I see it,If it doesn't have any direct impact to d story,then it shouldn't be there
I took tym to explain this part cos a lot of writers get so caught up in d minor details dat they forget the important stuff..

But all the same,nice effort...keep writing,keep studying,that's the only way you can get better...I've bn writing screenplays for 3yrs and I'm no where near perfect....we are all leaning..

I would like to commend the mods....this is the second screenplay dat has made it to front page in less than a week..pls keep it up...hopefully wen I post mine 2morow,it will make front page too..lol....

@villageboi..I'm shocked really,I was expecting some harsh criticisms from you...I thought you were gonna give him the same treatment you gave me when I made my first post......Have you gone soft or is shola a close friend of urs,u don't wanna hurt his feelings ryt? Lol......

Bro, God will bless you and may you succeed in life endeavours. I appreciate your post. Well, you've spoken well as a fellow scriptwriter.

My own perspective is, try to be as detailed as possible, so far you won't piss the director off. It may nt be necessary in a short, but for a feature, it may even helpin casting. Those described physical features makes the character feel specific, not just ambiguous.

With the parentheses, Prof also indicated that and I have reduced it to the ones that I feel are necessary. So, I don't still get why they are a problem.

Tnx for that dialogue tip but that's what I do. Maybe it just didn't sound realistic to you. It happens...art is subjective. And the location of the setting wasn't related, but we re sure it's the "toosh" part of "Nigeria". Or maybe the dialogue didn't go the way you would have written it. Lol.

Villageboi na correct critic oo and pls, dnt take any feather from his cap. He is quite blunt and in his opinion, would find loopholes in a script and correct it. What you think is a loophole, may not be one to him. Or he may have his cogent reasons but Villageboi is one of the ppl that know their onions and can as well tell you the truth. In short, he has never spared me.

I believed I stuck to the 'show' not 'tell' thing. But I may not have written it the way you expected. EVERYTHING IN THE SCRIPT CAN BE SEEN ON SCREEN IF SHOT AS A FILM. That's what is called "showing". Like where I said Mary dialed a number. If I had said "she dialed her husband's no", that's "telling" 'cos hw do we automatically know it's her husband she dialed while watching it on screen except there is a close camera shot? I tried as much as possible to write things that would be seen by a viewer, not just read by a reader. I'm not trying to say I am perfect...infact, far from it. But kindly point out areas in the script where it was "telling"...not "showing"...maybe it's you that have the wrong idea of what "showing" entails.
Tnx for ur comment all the same. I look forward to seeing your short.