₦airaland Forum

Demmylade: serious, now at d DSA. A friend just told me now

Eh eh...o ti sele oh.

Briareos: Sholay, do supply a pdf of this script na.

I would look into that, papa mod.

semid4lyfe: Dear Lord! Sholay, this is BRILLIANT. You absolutely killed it this time

Interesting, fascinating, riveting and I never saw any of it coming.

Also, important for me. . .it is "authentically african" (apology to Chimamanda) and relatable.

I still dey look for loopholes & wetin to criticize but I never see. Maybe the Title cos "Horror" depicts something scary, of intense fear or dread and I didn't feel any of those emotions reading this BUT that has no reflection on the story itself.

For me, this is the best script I've read on Nairaland. I'll limit my remaining comments to the score card

9/10



[size=4pt]N.B: At the appointed time, your ministry will be moved to the permanent site [/size]

I am humbled oo. Thanks, I'm glad you like it. So, d story wasn't 'horrific'? Okay na.

Lol@permanent site. *In Yuzedo's voice* Tenk

In as much as parents and the govt have roles to play as regards teenage pregnancy, the major portion of the blame is on the teenager.

No matter how much factors influence anybody, there's still that place of choice and will. Sebi na the teenager enjoy am, ehn make in enjoy the blame too naa.

@SOM!!...I see you oh

tony ayo: It's like u didn't understand what i said abt the short being a feature. I meant that it'll be of more fun as a feature not that the script is SUPPOSE to be a feature. Abt not 'showing' in ur script, what u did throughout ur script was telling, u didn't show any single thing, i know u'll try to prove me wrong cos i'm tony ayo not villageboi. Who said that naija producers don't gbadun camera shots? Following my research, naija producers will look n pass ur scripts if there are no camera shots, it's over using it is where the problem comes in like what mr prof said concerning ur parentheticals, unless the producer will write n direct his script.

Your 'advice' is well-noted and would be given consideration where appropriate. Thanks.

tony ayo: IMO i'm just LMAO. ** no offense bro, just making use of the abbs u thought me**. Good one, this short is more qualified as a feature, but too SHORT to be a feature. As far as oga villageboi has commented before me, i don't think i got more to say. But i'm very surprised why oga villageboi said nothing abt the VISUAL aspect of the script, like showing not telling. No camera 'SHOTS' and 'we see' concept that oga villageboi showed us in his scripts. 'we see' concept is very important but not kind of naija thing, but the SHOTS concept is a must add in scriptwriting as far as naija and the world are concern. I know that ur script formatting changed when u pasted it here, assuming u didn't disclose to us that it's a short script, i wud have mistaken it as a stageplay. Frankly speaking, this is the 2nd best SHORT i've read here, first is MOTHERING HEIGHTS, u and oga villageboi are good story tellers, but i promise to be better as far as NL is concern. This is a pretty good tale but don't let script formatting to make ur writing look bad.

I appreciate your comment bro. But pls, try giving examples from the script...don't just state a problem in which I won't actually know how to correct.

What makes you think the short is more 'qualified' as a feature? Is it because of d 11 mnths later thingy? Lol.
Where was I 'telling' instead of 'showing'? Pls, point it out.
You talked about camera shots. Most directors don't 'gbadun' a scriptwriter already being too specific about camera shots UNLESS IT IS NECESSARY with respect to the story.

Script formatting may make my writing look bad? Lol. Make I no talk

But tnx for ur comment.

.

joeydozzy: *standing ovation for sholay*

but why ghost? I hate ghosts

Lol. But I didn't mention the word 'ghost' naa thruout the script. Tnx for d comment.

frazegidi: All Abia polite shld go n check their names d list is out. Ma fwend jst check mine n ma name is on it. Halleluyah

Congrats oo.

Opiosko: NA GOD! First to testify 20132424**. Gr8 Uniben. Thread mates, friends bros nd swt sis, i prophsy! una go testify soon in Jesus name.

Congrats ooooo.

.

omoteamac: WINI...YOU ARE SAFVE

Bros abeg wetin u hear? This one that you're declaring someone as 'safe' or was it a prayer?

E ja wa si naa.

WinnieDPooh: Goodmorning peeps OAU peeps pls what is going on here? Omotea na wetin dey happen? @Hopeyemmy and Toyde pls if there is anything about that deal please just inbox me thanks.



Miss RED visited me this morning i'm not feeling too fine i'v been throwing up(the ladies will understand) so i have to sign out now. See you all later. Goodluck to everyone...

Awww....sorry Winnie. Goodluck to you too.

omoteamac: ALL DEPTS CNT BE MOBILISED...DATS 4 SURE...BT PEEPZ WERE MOBILIZED SHA...BT WE RE SAFvE BY HIS GRACE

Hmmmm...but i doubt if my dept (and even faculty) was mobilised.

[quote author=Creamy_chi]oau hw can yhu do dis to me...#sobs uncontrollably.to my other oau peeps wish u all d best as u await callup no..[/quote]What da hell!!!

hopeyemmy: Ogo sele abi kerubu?

Hun-hun...seraphim ni.

omoteamac: ROBSON WAS RIGHT PERHAPZ....MOUTH SEALD...

You too?! A ti rogo...

hopeyemmy: Big time! It was worth my time. I tried relating every character to the monikers we have here. You say weird? Yes, kinda weird.
Gotta follow for subsequent updates. God bless the work of your hands.

Thanks very much bro. I am humbled. You can as well comment on the thread. Lol.

robsony22: TEMI YE MI

Guy...abeg...oau stdnts plenty for hia and we wud appreciate updates and feasible rumours. Wetin you hear? What dept re u btw?

hopeyemmy: Once more, good morning mates.

While we await the good news from various schools, I think we need something to douse our tension.

I bring to you this MASTERPIECE from our own SHOLAY. It's an excellent piece and it's worth reading. The piece's critiques are well delivered, too, and succinctly put.

https://www.nairaland.com/1449649/nigerian-horror-story-short-film

ADARY's thread I shared in the early hours of this morning is still there. Believe me, she hit the nail on the head. No HYPOCRISY of any sort.

https://www.nairaland.com/1387811/serious-matter

Thanks oh ope for providing the link to my thread. Hope you enjoyed it?

@robsony....what do u mean by "oau no do well o'?

prof800: Yes ooo..BREAKING BAD won it.
I heard something else..
'twas an other category i heard.

That must be best tv actress for drama (Claire Danes in homeland).

prof800: The Emmy Awards is going on Now and HOMELAND has just defeated GOT & BREAKING BAD to clinch the best tv drama.

Breaking Bad won it naa, not Homeland.

^^^^^ Thank you very much for the elucidation. Didn't see it that way. Would try fixing some of them. E se gan prof.

Zikkie: Morning peeps! Guess I'm d only one in d house @ d moment!!! Keeping my eyes n ears wide open as from today! It is well with us!!!!

Lol. Morning. Make una keep ur eyes wide open like car headlights What will be will be.

hopeyemmy: Since it's thread sharing time, let me share this with you. It's from one of our own - Adary. Interesting read, I tell ya.

www.nairaland.com/1387811/serious-matter

Opeyemi...baddo christian

tunapa2009: Hmmmm... AFRICAN!!!!!
Very interesting... Nice one SHOLAY!!!

Tnx bro.

VillageBoi: Nah it's cool... it was an initial name used. Glad it's been corrected.

Just piecing the logic together... tiny things to look at. Since he had already been forced to lie to Mary that his mother was dead... he really should have known that Mary was never going to remain in his life.
I think a line of dialogue when Mary was on the staircase could plug that logical hole there - it would be the reveal and Madam Q could say something along the lines of -

"Well I'm not dead; so you must have known there was never going to be a future with Mary..." and if you want you can add to it (could be a bit OTT) "...First true love is a more powerful sacrifice."
It just that the reveal '11 months later' is a bit 'late' & could make people question about Mary and Jaye 'really' not knowing what was going to happen.

But I really like it a lot. You write some quirky little shorts that are very good. Again, nice one!

Bro, you make too much sense. Adding your suggestion right away.


I'm glad you like it.

tunapa2009: How far? Check out this thread.
www.nairaland.com/1444825/abused-wives-girlfriends-only/22#1444825.727

Pls, check my short film script at TV/Movies section entitled: "Nigerian Horror Story'.

And that goes to all of you on this thread too.

hopeyemmy: You eh?

Ki ni mo se oh?

[quote author=uj_sizzle]It really happened? damn! I hope they get punished [/quote]The police can't just arrest ppl for 'metaphysical' tinz lyk dis without concrete proof. And as ppl will say: "It's just a rumour".

But there is no smoke without fire....most tymz.

666!!! Eh eh...