₦airaland Forum

@sushieater....I like the title. Would try grabbing a copy. "ORANGE is indeed the new black". Lol

xynerise: Good morning guys

Troublemaker you are welcome. Morning.

dont8: No, until you give me the master to your latest movie to pirate

Mr. Producer, good morning

Good morning Mr. Latin/Lalude Larride, how was the night

This guy....you're quite troublesome. When did I become a producer? Lol. You sef be Location Manager/Casting director. Morning.

waxdude: Ok..go check it out,its new..gt justin timberlake,gemma,ben affleck..

Morning. I would check it out.

Morning to everyone in the room.

[quote author=god_of_music]As e dey hot! Abu Mikey Okija juju [/quote]

speedyboi: Lmao....this thread is making my night

Lol. Ppl yarn plenty tinz for hia today after Prof said d rum hasn't been active. Enjoy!!!!

Btw, Afam wants to be a director Nice one.

waxdude: Hahahah seriously sholay..yeah rite,..hello evry1..,abt ma day....hmmmmm emmmmm, watched d movie RUNNER RUNNER today nd der sumtyn dts kinda werid abourit shaaa...mayb y'all should watch it ..hehe

Lol. Welcome. Hope ya day was gud? Haven't heard about "Runner runner" sha. Saw a movie today too entitled: "Stoker".

Mr speedyboi. ..welcome.

Dillish looks beautiful! !!!!

speedyboi: I don't have a tight schedule......wahala just come and go!

Mmm...now I'm getting curious.

^^^^^lol. Thanks for checking.

And well done wiv ur tight schedule. Yeah, Madam Q is 62 years old.

larride: Good evening. Is there any space for me here?

Of course! You are welcome bro.

prof800: OP...Why must we follow the link for the complete list..
You can as well list the movies here.

Abi oo

speedyboi: First things first; Sholay I'm very sorry for not responding on time....accept my apologies .

Okay! Btw, should this fall under 'horror' genre? Seems to me more like a fantasy...

This script is really beautiful! The plot is very cool and I like it!

I really love Madam Q's character! Her lines are 'tight' as well! I think FUNLOLA AOFIYEBI will act that role perfectly . The dialogue is also beautifully written except just two parts...which sounds quite cheesy.

1.
I dunno why, but I just don't like that reply. It is too fast paced IMO.
It could have been splitted for madam q to say something before 'then why did I agree to....'

2.
Lol...this is really crappy. I don't see anyone in Mary's condition at that particular point in time saying this! A 'shocky' and 'screwed up' Facial expression could've been more appropriate.


Afterall said. Sholay! This is nice!

Am I forgiven thou?

Of course, you are forgiven bro. Welcome back! Prof and Villageboi wud be "over the moon" with ur return.

Hmmm...your comment really got me thinking. Fantasy? I don't agree...yet but those lines you pointed out now seem a bit 'crappy' to me just because you pointed them out!

Funlola Aofiyebi? Hmmm...she wud be too young for such role. I wud choose Joke Silva or Liz Benson I really appreciate your comment. Thanks.

Btw, where have you been We've missed you in the chat room. I'm glad you're back.

VillageBoi: Just a little busy past couple of days. How now?

I see. I'm gud. Hw ur side?

VillageBoi: Saw it a while ago... pretty nice, good vfx too.

Where have you been since?

Hmmmmm.

Maybe if I hadn't seen 'Web Pulp fiction', I would have enjoyed the script a bit but I just found it to be a rip-off of the scene where Samuel Jackson and John Travolta went to meet some guys in their apartment and shot them at the end of the day.

The meatpie Doug and Frank ate in the script is equivalent to the burger Samuel L. Jackson munched in the aforementioned Tarantino movie ([s]no wonder you opened a thread on how you prefer Tarantino to Rodriguez [/s])
The 'what' palaver also ensued in this scene of the film but you dragged it for too long in your short script, mitigating the momentum of the story.
It's not a bad thing to get inspired by another person's work but let the rip-off be subtle and not too obvious. (I got the inspiration to write Paranoia from "Silver linings playbook" but you can rarely link the two. I got inspired for Nigerian Horror Story from "American Horror Story" but the similarity ended in the title.)

Now, lemme get back to the script.

1. Your struggle with tenses was too obvious and almost killed my interest in reading the script. Singular subject goes with 's' in its verb while plural doesn't. Eg: *"Villageboi GOES to a film school"
*"Villageboi and Prof GO to a film school"
*"They GO to a film school".
# Sholay GASPS.
# Sholay and Briareos GASP.

2. I still don't understand why you wrote some words in CAPITAL LETTER, even those that would make your mistakes with tenses obvious.

3. The characters that should have been interesting and provided tension were written "out of character". I am referring to Doug and Frank. There was a place Frank said: " the meatpie dey der" and then in a split of a sec...they were speaking like "americanas" again. You kinda confused the readers on the identity of these men. Are they Nigerian hitmen or they were "imported" from America? If dem wan speak pidgin, make dem yarn am from beginning to end of the script; if they speak fluent english, let it be consistent. If they mix the two, let it be realistic!

4. There were unnecessary things that dragged the story too long (though would have liked them in a feature). Like Doug telling a story of a neat man and bla bla... (the story was lame anyway because I can't remember how that is related to the issue on ground and it wasn't funny even though it was told as a joke). All the unnecessary definitions of words do not help in a short script. And Doug mentioning how Alero bangs Chief Ezeogwu but doesn't scream looks very unnecessary. What concerns him with what his Oga does in the bedroom? And asking Kehinde same question about Alero not moaning in bed sounds more annoying to me.

5. I didn't really feel the dialogue (some parts didn't flow) and the story started well but the ending was a let-down. The secret to making a short script worth it is a very good storyline, pacy and realistic dialogue (coupled with good writing of course). The storyline would help ppl develop connection with your characters since they can't be fully fleshed out in a short script but you wanted to flesh out Doug and Frank as badass niggas which almost made the script boring.

Nonetheless, your writing has greatly improved and I really like your description. ..kinda helped in easily imagining the scene.

Sorry for my epistle but [s]it was the "spirit of Villageboi" that descended on me[/s] . I had to point out things that I feel you should correct. All the best in your script writing endeavours.

Afam4eva: Pls, can anyone direct me to a very good film school where one can learn directing.

Who hacked into Afam's NL acct?

[quote author=uj_sizzle]Only if mediocrity and well, stewpidity is lovable [/quote]Why are you tongue-lashing nollywood naa? E don do. We know they are far from the standard but some others are trying their best to bridge the gap.

prof800: Sholay..have you visited tony yayo's thread?
www.nairaland.com/1454468/web-fiction-short-film-script

Yeah but haven't taken time to read it. I was waiting for you and Villageboi to comment on the script first.

Would read it now.

^^^^^Smh.

prof800: Osufia in London part 6

Cinema Guest House- nice name.

[quote author=god_of_music]Sholay na Xynerise you dey warn

Person wey use hin hand derail hin own thread [/quote]Oh...I see. *Dials @tpia's no to attend to this mental case *

xynerise: The police are after you for defecating on top that bridge

Guy, free our mod joor.

lertee: I was surprised too when I saw it on afmag yesterday.
Yes there are more problems,production,casting ,storylines. Also use of inferior materials and fake scenes. I watched a movie as well, a guy was shot and there was no traces of bullet or even blood stain,it was as normal as it appeared before the shot,I am not a movie person but then Some mistakes are just too cheap.

Yep, I agree.

[quote author=uj_sizzle]Dangerous chics, Dangerous babe, Could this be love?, This is love, Missing Angel mtcheeew.
Silly movies, silly names, no originality.[/quote]Lol. But why don't you talk about the ones making sense in nollywood?

Like Kunle Afolayan's "Phone swap" and Lonzo's "Anchor Baby". Have you seen them?

lertee: The major problem I have with naija movies is “title” what in God's name is “we are useless”, “ASUU strike”, “Blackberrybabes”, and many more. Naija I hail oooooo. Hehehehe

Are you kidding me? A movie's title is "We are useless"? Lolz.

But there are more vital problems than title sha.

[quote author=god_of_music]*lights a match on his palm and burns the effing hand off* [/quote]

homesteady: Asalam Aleku! Peace be unto this room!

Welcome, troublemaker.

[quote author=god_of_music]Na true na see as hin come here immediately hin see say caseless and other bad guys no dey here to interrupt hin toasting work [/quote]Lmao.

Stefan01: Hi guys...

You're welcome bro.

[quote author=mondi_cheeks]just wright I have watched it over 10times now[/quote]I haven't seen that movie sha. Would try getting it.