₦airaland Forum

Agricaddict:
Igbo girls for fine but them too muscular

Muscular where?

DimplesLikeWow:
What are boyfriend duties? Money? Since when does having sex with a man imply he has to be giving the woman money?

~In case you're misunderstanding the meaning of FWBs (friends with benefits), FWBs doesn't mean imply the involvement of money/that the man gives the woman money. FWBs are people who engage in intimate/sexual activity without really dating each other, without being committed to one another.

After their initial sexual encounter that night, both of them should've discussed what they want from one another, if anything. If he didn't initiate the conversation, as a woman, the onus was on her to do so before continuing to sleep with him. For her to be going over to his place for sex without bothering to have this conversation with him indicates: 1) she too may be cool with this FWB setup ― there are females who can have sex with no feelings attached and she very well could be one; or 2) she may be assuming there's a r/ship in place or expecting one, both of which are dumb. Since when does having sex with a man equate to being in a relationship with him, especially when none has been defined nor spoken of?

It's better to wait for marriage before sex, but if not, at least date properly and have a committed relationship in place. If she gets pregnant now, she will end up being a babymama 'cos a man that's not ready to date a female won't marry her. Or, if they rush into marriage as a result of pregnancy, they may end up finding out they're not compatible afterall and be miserably married b/c other than being Bleep buddies, they didn't really bother to know one another.

I'm not talking about money or whatever here Mr man. You're the one who brought up the boyfriend duties talk, so I'm just flowing with it.

Look stop trying to justify this action. There's a need to communicate in a situation like this, to avoid any misinterpretation In the future.

If I start dating, the first thing I do is to say what I want in that relationship. Whether I'm there for fun or If I want something serious, if that's not what the other party wants, we go our ways. Simple. No need to beat around the bush.

Biko have a nice day.

JudasNaCarrot:
Women being happier without men....how??

Please don't open your stinking mouth to say thrash of what you don't know or probably want to trend.

Make a proper research, women are very bittered, I mean very very bittered without men. Ask a single mother or lady, divorcees and all those Oloshos and they will tell you the hidden truth.....something only them struggle with.
No matter how wealthy a woman may be she still want a man around,someone she will turn to for protection,cuddling, pet talks, some one a female cannot fill the gap.

So, stop deceiving yourself and face the reality. I'll advice you to seek help on time if you are depressed which is evident in your comment.

Ndi Ara!

This one pain you

Lmao. Nigerians o.

They're right sha.

If this little girl can do it, we can all do it.

God bless us all, bless our legitimate hustle to make our parents proud.

Stop disrespecting my Lord please

It is quite unfortunate

Because it is.

DimplesLikeWow:
In your first post on the thread, you said, "I blame women" but you're attacking the OP. Aren't you contradicting yourself?

The female in this situation is the one at fault, giving her body away so cheaply and stupidly. If the dude later decides he doesn't want a r/ship with her, she can't blame him nor can she claim he used and dumped her because she's willfully going to him almost daily herself.

She has never even asked him what they are, yet she's going to him "almost everyday" for sex. How can she be sleeping with someone in this manner without defining the terms and conditions beforehand? You can't set the tone for a Fwb (friends with benefits / friends of the opposite sex who just have sex) then try to demand boyfriend vibes lateron. That bait and switch hardly works.

Yes I blame women. And I still blame her. But that op doesn't need any advice, he just wants the "go ahead order" from his peers to continue whatever he's doing.

When you don't table out your needs from onset, why won't they demand boyfriend duties? Explain yourself! This is what I want, this is what I want. Later when she starts asking for boyfriend duties, you won't feel remorseful at all, because after all you communicated with her.

Truth is, most of you don't know the importance of communication, or maybe you do know but decide not to do it for your own benefits.

Interesting15:
Lemme also say this. Whenever I read some stuff on internet forums, it's usually surprising. When I come across young people that can't go for two weeks without premarital sex and other immoral stuff, I'm like, really?

Some will even say things like "Wow, for three weeks now, I have not had sex oo"

And I will be like, really! What should we that despite our healthy sexual urges, have never indulged in it till this moment, do?

It shows you must surrender yourself totally to Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit empower you to live a life of dominion over stuff!

It is quite surprising. And they never believe someone can be celibate. Immorality has eaten people's souls. No self control, no guidance. People are just living and doing as they like.

Hmm

No

Pacecar:
It is in your place to proffer an advice without being forceful. It is in my place to choose what to do. Don't take it too seriously. You are very judgemental and pushy. That's not what I want from you. You are even biased... You are just hitting on me. Why can't think about from her point of action. What if she is just having fun with me. But instead you keep making it feel it's my fault she enjoying sex with me. Be diplomatic. It's not as it seems all the time.

Look, I've seen this situation before, matter of fact I've seen someone that has been in it. Women don't just have fun. As long she starts visiting and not even asking anything from you, it's not fun for her. Leaving someone after they've developed strong feelings for you is depressing. That is why I'm telling you to communicate with her, tell her you're not in for a long time, just a good time. Being hard on you? Do you even know what you're doing? You want me to tell you to go ahead and have your fun and at the end discard her like a broken glass, just like your fellow guys are telling you? No I won't do that. Because I'm not supporting your actions doesn't mean I'm biassed.

If you want relationship with no strings attached, the best thing is to table it out. So each party will trade carefully and guard their hearts at the process.

Pacecar:
Shorty, she probably might have a boyfriend at home or somewhere else. Maybe she just likes me, maybe she just admires me. I am not going to talk to her. Maybe she just loves having sex with me. She is my friend and she enjoys what we do. She told me she had a boyfriend. The thing is they were having problems. But she didn't tell me they broke up. I am not going to leap too fast. I respect her and nobody knows her identity. I keep her secrets and she keeps my secrets.

Then stop asking people on want to do, if you can't communicate with her.
Continue having your premarital sex.

Pacecar:
And who told you I don't feel anything for her... You definately didnt the story completely. I do feel something. I am working on a plan to earn money, but before then, I can't get into a serious relationship. I am just envisaging what might happen in the future because she hasn't said anything to me.

Why don't you ask her? Why you asking people here? Go talk to her, tell her "you are not ready financially ready for a relationship, but you still want to continue to be having sex with her" then see her reaction. Whenever a dilemma like this occurs, communicate with the person in question. Only she will have the answer you seek.

Pacecar:
She is not trash... And I won't sleep with her if she doesn't want to. Is there any part of the story I narrated, that came out reducing her personality?
You just one if those have sex and pay girls.

You're manipulating her Mr man! If you don't feel a thing for her tell her now so the feelings don't get too deep. Let her move on!

nwaezeemmanuel:
Yes! Like how a man should embrace his masculinity.

People need to know what toxic masculinity and toxic femininity is.

Exactly!

nwaezeemmanuel:
I stopped following the thread after the OP started using femininity to give BS advice.

It is good for a woman to embrace her femininity, but that doesn't mean she should lose her self worth and become useless because she is female.

MhisTahrah:
Co-sign!
I read a comment that said women were not supposed to work,career women are unattractive, a woman should not be independent and must let go of her dreams and career to raise children and some other beautifully worded nonsense.I was weak after reading that bullshit. I still can't believe that a 21st century male thinks like that.

It is quite pathetic. I stumbled on that thread this evening, reading it gave me chills.

nwaezeemmanuel:
You're welcome, i have stayed long enough on Nairaland to know that a lot of people don't know anything about masculinity, femininity, feminism and many gender-sensitive topics.

I pity the naive ones that feed on what they want to see and not what is true.

I just came across that thread and I was just dumbfounded!

PhGossip:
Ovation!!!

Thanks Sir

nwaezeemmanuel:
Beautifully written and well said!

Thank you!

I'm writing this based on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6242360/ubunjas-miseducation-2020-femininity/1#95844154

Y'all probably hate me now cause of my stubborn nature, I say it as I see it without twisting words. And I very much don't care about what any of you think or feel about me, because no one here feeds me nor clothes me. I don't censor words neither do I look face. And I'm not a premium beans like some ladies. I believe what I'll achieve in life, I definitely will with the help of God Almighty.


And no, I'm not a man hater. I very much love men because I have a father and a wonderful brother. When I go against some logics by men it is because as a woman, I know what and how it feels to be manipulated and unappreciated by some men, especially some downright downgrading comments I read here from men towards women.

Now on that link is a topic about femininity, and hey, I'm completely feminine, and I love men. Reading that thread and comments, I saw how men were agreeing and literally nodding their heads profusely to that write up, why? Because it is just what they expect from the female folk. And the word is "useless".

That a woman shouldn't work, that she shouldn't be bold nor outspoken, that she shouldn't hustle and fend for herself, rather she should depend on the men for her wellbeing by just being feminine. Ha! I'm sorry sis, you're digging your own grave. We all read comments from men all day calling Nigerian women broke, useless and " urgent 2k" gang. And "vagina people" when you don't use your head, work hard and fend for yourself, these same men agreeing to that ubanja bullshît will be the same people to create a thread here bashing you on how useless and dependent you are on them. This is what they do.

So as a lady, because you're feminine, therefore you're going to sit and use your "femininity" to make a man do your bid, you're just useless. Yes it'll work, they'll do the bid of course, but to them you're just useless and a mere object used for their satisfaction.

What am I saying in essence? Please endeavour to be your own boss, disregard whatever ogbanje or obanjo is saying. Fend for yourself, have self worth and discipline yourself and at the same time be feminine!

I'll use my boss as an example here. My boss makes foot wears, (and so do I) she makes bags, she repairs electronicals, she's all round. But if they ever tell you this lady does any of this you'd never believe. She doesn't have low cut nor acts like a man, she's100% feminine and so am I. And guess what? She's getting married next month to a wonderful man. Whenever bills come, they share it. And that respect is there! Ladies, (I'm drawing my ears o) do not let any man take away your respect. Don't be rendered useless because of a stupîd femininity that won't feed nor pay your bills. When you need money, you'll start begging, when you want to shower your parents with gifts, you'll start begging. And you're disrespected and reminded how poor you're all the time.

Even women their parents are stupîdly rich, still work hard to make their own money. (E get why).

Because you're female they expect you to be in a cage while they feed you banana like a monkey and pet you. And at the same time mock you.

Ladies embrace your femininity and also gain your respect. Pursue your career, be bold, talk when you need to, disagree when you need to, be your own boss. A man who truly knows your worth will love you!

Note: if you don't read that thread on that link from beginning to end, don't bother quoting nor mentioning me.

Luak:
. Op has taken the hint, I guess

Nonsense hint

Luak:
no need for the blame. Men, women; we all have one need or the other and companionship is one of them

Companionship where you're treated like trash? Oh please.

I blame women.

Money used to make this would have been given to the less privileged.

Congrats jare.

You people will just open mouth waa and be calling price anyhow. How much is the radler themselves making to be throwing 500M away like that.

Nonsense and Star

Beautiful girl

holocron:
How can you ask that? Are men and women the same that you should ask if the case is reversed. Men are allowed to keep more than one wife at a time in Islam and African culture, but women cannot because a woman can only bear a child with one father at time. If she keeps two husbands simultaneously, which of them will be father of the child (only one of them), so it is forbidden and unnatural for a woman to keep two men at the same time. You can't serve two masters at the same time, you must love one and hate the other; even the Bible said as much.

Bible said what exactly?

Hmm

1beat:
since she occupied two opposition in your life wife and business partner just remove her as wife unannounced and unbothered about her attitude let her maintain her position as business partner. put all her contribution on record, work very hard, within one & half year separate with her peacefully and give her all her entitlement without cheating her, start your own business.

wear your cap of wisdom and hear this fact.

The man that gave her 1M will not collect only kiss as return ( she might be the man last wife outside mistress )

The lady is not trustworthy as wife and business partner she can kill you or shortchange you when the business grown

your life is at risk rolling with such wide lady, she's wiser than you and ready to manipulate you

she can't be a good wife and a good mother , please safe your unborn children from wrong hand

please do the needful, don't put your self in future problem ..

But if the case was reversed will you give the woman this advice?