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Education / Re: Top 10 Words Nigerians Use That Aren’t In The Dictionary by shreder(m): 2:21pm On Oct 23, 2018
Even d U.S.A speaks english dier own way,o.p leave us alone
Politics / Re: This Video Of President Buhari Has Gotten Nigerians Angry by shreder(m): 2:03pm On Oct 23, 2018
Buhari wud take last evn in pre-basic one/primary one

3 Likes

Celebrities / Re: Davido’s Daughter, Imade Plays With Bundle Of $100 Bills by shreder(m): 12:08pm On Oct 23, 2018
Boluwatife lukin at her and wonderin why his schoolfees is yet to b paid

4 Likes 1 Share

Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 12:05pm On Oct 23, 2018
..Lalasticlala,I heard all wat u said to im before killin im

Explorers:Dont b foolish,I knw u hv d same ambition as mine

IamAirforce1:I do,take my side and I will make u second in command

Explorers:Second in command?!,I rather take ur lyf!

Explorers was almost as tall as IamAirforce1 but shorter and bulky.His weight paved d way for his victory as he attacked IamAirforce1 wit one of his fist,d oda hand holdin d machete,IamAirforce1 caught his hand but cudnt get im off his feet and neva lived again to tell why,as a machete landed on im.He spent d last minute of his life wonderin hw Rocktation charms against attacks failed im.For Explorers,he wasnt really happi abt d two deaths,two deaths in one day wit one machete.His ambition was gettin tins messy,besides he just killed a frnd But no retreat now for im,he pondered as he cleaned his machete on d grasses by d road syd.Notin was stoppin im,not evn d gods.He was goin to b king no matter wat.

PART FOUR

BOUNDARY BTWN NAIRALAND AND TWITTER
Sarrki has done wat..
Family / Re: The Song “sweet Mother,” Reduces Women's Worth - Nigerian Feminist by shreder(m): 11:12am On Oct 23, 2018
Just shut up,u are out of point,evrytin nai una dey complain put.We hate homosexuals bcus dey go against nature ryt?,feminists do d same,nature has made women to b of service to men.Religion is one of d oldest institution in d world,Christianity states dat women b submissive,same wit Islamic religion,same wit our own African religion.NO ARGUMENTS PLS
Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 9:57am On Oct 23, 2018
Pocohantas ended up wit d king.As usual,witout thot or much ardo,King Seun placed a death sentence on Rosy15 much to d displeasure of Explorer who knew it was goin to upset Lalasticlala.Divepen1,one of d weakest palace guards was d one to carry Rosy15 to her place of execution.Dis same Divepen1 dat ran away frm d palace simply bcus he heard Twitterians was plannin an attack on d palace.Rumour had it dat his moda slept wit more dan one man b4 his birth and d sperm mixed up to produce im,all big and muscular but very cowardly.

Now lets go back to d present,As Explorer was goin back to his house,he felt dat strange air lyk sumone was watchin im.He toke sum few steps bein a smart warrior,timed imsef den turned arnd and vwola!,standin ryt infront of im was 6'7 IamAirforce1.

Explorer:Gudmornin broda of my sista

IamAirforce1:Dont give me dat,u are d head warrior lyk mysef,hw can u b tinkin of such abt ur king?

Explorer:Tinkin of wat?

IamAirforce1:I hv been doggin ur footsteps,since d day u claimed u executed...
Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 9:42am On Oct 23, 2018
Donkinno:
Shreder, i neva read am, but from pple comments, i know say he go madt gan
Nice one, Oga Shreder
Tnks
Celebrities / Re: Singer, Simi All Shades Of Gorgeous In New Photo by shreder(m): 6:42pm On Oct 21, 2018
Love simi but she only luks pretty wit make up
Rap Battles / Re: Flow For Rank by shreder(m): 4:42pm On Oct 21, 2018
I broke out in dis domain lyk daybreak
I neva gave recognition to no fake face
Dey are kids,take my Ignition key take play
Frm d position am standin u knw I cant fail
I will take my leisure to make sure Verm's burial take place
Puccyniqqas floodin dis domain lyk d great lake
Deckline popularity declinin out of d main frame
I only respect God he is d only person on d same page
D lines in Me cumin off lyk bra's in NoBraDay
Vermaniace wat are u smokin?,
I dont hv to bazz wen my brain is takin bars in
Dey wey I rap u tink am speakin ashanti
lyk Kdei
Wen he is on d microphone shoutin Bra dey(brother),Bra dey
My rap fresh and green lyk independence day
Dier own old and grey,its lyk a foil sheet
I cant lose sleep over dis monkeys
If u read through my blue print and all am plottin
U realise ur zoo is somewhere on d northeast
U knw am beta dan ya even if am in my 40's
Dats why I lyk play on d bed,hanky-panky
Deckline ur standard is as fake as plastic
Worst part,ur moses to d land of milk nd honey
Celebrities / Re: I Bought You Car This Morning, White Woman Crying After Falling For Yahoo Boy by shreder(m): 3:23pm On Oct 21, 2018
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Celebrities / Re: I Bought You Car This Morning, White Woman Crying After Falling For Yahoo Boy by shreder(m): 3:22pm On Oct 21, 2018
To be sincere,I feel pity for her.Wen oda's treat u wrong,u show dem d ryt way to treat pipo.D woman might b an American wit no British blood in her.U claim dat u are recollectin all d wealths d Britons stole from us but u attack different Nationalities

1 Like 1 Share

Culture / Re: Naomi Oluwaseyi, Ooni’s Wife, Prophesied Her Reign As Queen Over A Year Ago? by shreder(m): 3:07pm On Oct 21, 2018
Meanwhile she was deliverin pipo of same spirit she is gettin married to.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Culture / Re: Naomi Oluwaseyi, Ooni’s Wife, Prophesied Her Reign As Queen Over A Year Ago? by shreder(m): 3:05pm On Oct 21, 2018
Wat abt dose tyms she was collectin tithe and offerin?,shebi it was d will of God,now she don end up wit ooni,a traditionalist,a strong and very fetish one.Wen we were warnin dem,dem no dey hear,d only way God receives anytin is by showin love to ur neighbours.I guess she got pregnant dats why dey married her.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Rap Battles / Re: Flow For Rank by shreder(m): 2:16pm On Oct 21, 2018
Am beta dan u in evry Ramification
Try to compare it is ur own crucifiction
Ur death warrant am signin,u hv my permission
Lately in dis domain hv been passive
Yeah am dondada here,I Am bossy
Deckline is so fat,big chest lyk Cossy
Trim down ur size b4 u cum here to start dissin
Bleep dis fools,yes ryt now am cursin
Ur bixtch singin nyc in my bed lyk justin
Call ursef high standard ryt now u feelin cocky
Real ones lyk me knw we hv to kip it lowkey
My name is knwn both in Boston and Brooklyn
Watch ur mouth before ur home receive a break in
Tnk ur stars ur aza hvnt been moved to ur nxt kin
Sometyms ur rap praises me untill I start blushin
Even though u try to diss me ur lines aint workin
Nigerian railway lines on sheet of paper still constructin
My rap is as nyc a sound lyk pied piper's
Naija dont deserve me am workin my visa
So gud bye aszholes nyc to meet ya
Dat is me signin out lyk am bobby shmurda
U want to diss me go and read my story and at d end crunch some letters

1 Like

Politics / Re: Breaking: Nnamdi Kanu Speaks, Says: I Will Remain Apolitical by shreder(m): 7:42pm On Oct 20, 2018
I use to lyk Kanu but now am not sure,where has he been since wen dos poor women were arrested?,he didnt say anytin,just lyk Ojukwu stole pipo's wife and accused dier husbands of saboutage but Biafra must cum to pass.No mata d plan of Nigeria or d misbehaviours of our own leaders.For now lets Atikulate first.
Celebrities / Re: (Photo) Lady Tattooed Davido And Burnaboy Face On Her Thighs by shreder(m): 5:41pm On Oct 20, 2018
TheOdd1sOut:
what of we that haven't seen the news?
Learn to move on den
Celebrities / Re: (Photo) Lady Tattooed Davido And Burnaboy Face On Her Thighs by shreder(m): 5:36pm On Oct 20, 2018
Old news since oct 1st,continue readin old newspapers and facebook newsfeed
Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 5:12pm On Oct 20, 2018
Roll back to three days and Rosy15 was abt to b executed.Lately she has been tinkin alot and her eyes showed nites spent witout peace of mind.Today was d day of judgement.Rocktation was at a corner tryin to get d gods to speak abt d execution.If he came out wit a message frm d gods difrent frm d king,den any judgement wud be recinded.Obviously he wasnt goin to do dat.D king was sitted on his throne wit his queen,Pocohantas who a lot lately hv becum SokoDobo's tool of joy just lyk she was to NwaAmaikpe.She was d only daugther of Deckline,only child too.Pipo accused Deckline of being a weaklin for not hvin a son,dey said he was as weak as his farmland.Dat all changed wen she grew up into a beatiful but premiscous gal.She was d most beautiful untill Tamarapretty displaced her.All men either congratulated her fada either for her beauty or for d service she had rendered to dem.Dey sympatised wit im behind his back becus he was d only one missin out on d fun since he was her fada.As per d strange lines of fate....

2 Likes 2 Shares

Rap Battles / Re: Flow For Rank by shreder(m): 3:06pm On Oct 20, 2018
I dont give a f.uck to dis modaf.Uckers
Cant share dier mom wit dose modafuckers
U want to rap,dont mind if its panda cover
But I bust u lyk a spy dats undercover
Carry my news arnd lyk u are now a blogger
Frm d street of Lagos to anoda border
I aint gat no love for dose oda rappers
Dey can eat shii and die,try ghana burger
Deckline cum out of d closet,u are a gay,broda
Receive some fresh air den go back to ur locker
I wil pass u as a nazi a secret frm d bunkers
Neva seen a black nazi,ooh,hv seen anoder
Goes by d name Verm,he is a gutter nigqa
He smokes lipton mixed with sheabutter
I will stop now,so dey feel beta
I will face sumone else lyk bf wit anoda lover
Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 1:24pm On Oct 20, 2018
ambition,marry Ishilove den execute Donkinno and chiefAzubuike.Gud tyn NwaAmaikpe was out of d picture.He met Lalasticlala just where he tied im up,he had prayed dat no evil spirit or animal eat im up.

Explorer:Gud mornin,Lalasticlala

Lalasticlala:Explorer Kill me or let me go.Death is beta dan empty stomach

Explorer:U deserve death for all ur attrocities but for now I nid u

Lalasticlala:Wat?

Explorer:Dat u wanted to marry Damselposh ur own late daugthers bestfrnd,dat u are sarrki's godfada and u axed im to execute NwaAmaikpe b4 his sudden disappearance

Lalasticlala:Explorer,early mornin palmwine is ekwensu's favourite demon,wait,did u just call my daugther late?

Explorer:Yes I did,both of dem.I knw my news will sober u up.

Lalasticlalasadlaffs hysterically)U are jokin ryt?

Explorer:No am not.Early mornin "lalasticlala" is ekwensu's favourite demon.

Lalasticlalasadsurprisinly calm)Let me go,let me gooo!.

He attacked Explorer furiously.Explorer had to use his machete,he did and it landed on his head.
Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 12:30pm On Oct 20, 2018
..With her,he wud tear her head of.For Rosy,she was lost in thot as dey pushed her to d king's court,first of,she lost NwaAmaikpe,den her fada,now her sista.She was abt goin crazy.She knew dis was her end.
PART 3
Explorer isnt an early riser but for d past few days he had to.His kingship dreams made im do so.At d corner of his raffia mat was a shinin machete,he picked it up,luked at it intently den went out.Few days ago,he was given an order by d king,he disobeyed.He lied to d oda's dat he wanted to kill Lalasticlala all by himsef but instead hide im on d outskirt of d evil forest.He needed a backbone for his ambitions.Lalasticlala was dat backbone.At a tym,he wud go wit lalasticlala to d village,tell d pipo abt d crimes of dat King,den forcefully take d throne.He knew per ancestory he cant assend d throne,it was a Gordion knot but lyk Alexander d great,if he cant loose it,he wud cut it wit a sword.Dis village nid to b cleansed of d many evils dis king has brought upon d land of Nairaland.He had anoda......

1 Like 2 Shares

Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 12:12pm On Oct 20, 2018
Deckline:
grin grin My farm too big be dat o.
My G don reach here,lol
Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 11:55am On Oct 20, 2018
AnonymousLee:
Lalasticlala
Mynd44
Seun
Please kindly encourage this man..

This is front page worthy as it portrays nairaland as a family..
Tnk u sir
Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 8:38am On Oct 20, 2018
Benteazaa:
I think am gonna like it here
Sure u will
Politics / Re: "I Earn Barely Enough To Survive" - Lai Mohammed Lying At Chatham House by shreder(m): 2:32pm On Oct 19, 2018
Dis man wud not qualify as a bank cleaner talkless of minister.Him and dat crackhead Dalung

1 Like

Celebrities / Re: Teddylicious: Chisom Okprara Suffering From Depression (Photos) by shreder(m): 2:25pm On Oct 19, 2018
KingzLeo:
This statement from u no jst try at all. Wow. So celebrities aint even humans too? Or, maybe, they aint allowed to have emotions. But u are, right? Can we just always think thru the things we'd say??
Tell me wat is makin her depressed now?

Tell me wat made Harrysong depressed?

Listen to ursef,dere are pipo earnin 7k a amount wit all d stress and will still spend 4k out of it for T.Fare,did dey complain.Seems lyk u knw dis "depressed" girl or she is ur WCW
Celebrities / Re: Teddylicious: Chisom Okprara Suffering From Depression (Photos) by shreder(m): 2:20pm On Oct 19, 2018
KingzLeo:
[color=#990000][/color]This statement from u no jst try at all. Wow. So celebrities aint humans too? Oh I 4got dey aint allowed to have emotions. Can we just always think thru the things we'd say??
Pls explain to me hw almost all celebrities now are claimin depression,dey are d ones u shud b mad at bcus dey are mockin dos truely depressed.Depression in d last couple of months hv becum a celebrity tin to gain pity.Well,let me join d train.I AM DEPRESSED ALSO.sad
Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 12:33pm On Oct 19, 2018
damselposh:
Hahahahaha Abeg Tamarapretty, come and see ooo, you connived with me lol.

well done OP
Tnks o,damsel
Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 12:26pm On Oct 19, 2018
...used of rape.One day he met his match.Rosy15 was just cumin back frm sexuality section of Romance clan wen he met her.D road was deserted,He thot he cud hv his way untill three days later he found himsef on a mat in front of dat smellin dibia's house.Obviously,he lied dat he was attacked by and Sarrki.Den two days later he cam back to d dibia's house to spend two weeks.His accused attackers visited im and almost killed im.He had to run out of his hut naked to d dibia's hut.He was a distant relative of d king and for bein royal he cudnt be punished for any crime except Rocktation d dibia,d smellin eyes of d gods,passed a message frm d gods dat he shud be punished.He always had dat covered by sendin Yams,goat and oda gifts through PunfumonQ the dibia's servant to im.To his credit,since he became youthleader,d level of sanitation have been lyk no oda.Donkinnos fada,Cilicmarin tried to steal d throne frm d king wen he was alive.Today,dat same Rosy is at d tip of his clean fingers,he wud deal....
Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 12:10pm On Oct 19, 2018
Here?,Rosy wat hpnd to ur sista?.

SokoDobosadsquat down to check if she was alive)She is dead o

Italianwine:Rosy why is dere blood on ur knuckles,u killed ur sista?!.

Rosy15gave no response,maybe she thot it was a rhetorical question.Her head was poundin,she had d taste of copper in her mouth.She knew now she is all alone no love,no family.She was scared,confused she wanted sumtin to free her.She wanted an end.Dere was dis poisonous leaf her fada brought home b4 he was killed.He wanted to throw it away b4 Explorer came to call him abt d king's summon and he neva returned.

IamD18:So Rosy u killed ur sista?,Abomination!,Nairaland must hear dis,d king must hear dis.

Wit dat he ran out,repeatin d words over again.She was abt to grab d leaf wen GOFRONT held her hand and d oda hand landed on her face.

It was just d beginnin of heavy slaps for her.IamD18 returned wit d youths.The youth leader,Donkinno was so angry,he seem to hv sumtin personal wit her.Donkino was a serial rapist.He had several tyms been acc..

1 Like 1 Share

Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by shreder(m): 11:39am On Oct 19, 2018
GOFRONT:
See this guy wan use laff kill me for this office......Never knew we have a playwright on the forum..

Nice concept!!!
Lol,Tnks smiley
Celebrities / Re: Russia’s Sexiest Biker Girl Dies During Half-Nude Motorbike Stunt (Pics) by shreder(m): 10:54am On Oct 19, 2018
She returned to God d way she came,naked smiley

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