₦airaland Forum

Richvkunt:
Holidays were okay.
Sorry about the accident,hope you are getting better?
Once again Missed your posts,so I say welcome back.
Wishing you and yours a happy new year once again.

Yes, much better. Kind regards to you and yours.

Richvkunt:
^^^
Hello shy one,
Nice and intelligent concept of the OPs fears.
Happy New year to you and yours.
Where have you been?

1)  I had been working on Facebook with the NL website redesign group - I was working on the "content" for the website and prior to submitting the "content" I was involved in a serious car accident - so I was forced to withdraw from everything, still badly bruised and sore and with help from my therapist, I will be ready to land in Nigeria in January.  God be praised in time to meet the container I shipped the day after Thanksgiving.

So this week is the first week I have been able to log in, read and respond.

So Richy Rich - how have you been?  I hope you are having a wonderful holiday.  I am just grateful to be here and I have had a very quiet, peaceful and restful holiday.  My family isn't really happy with me, as I have turned down all invitations, I truly just value my peace, my serenity and my quiet more than people, faces, music, noise and revelers.  I have really loved this holiday so crazily the accident worked very well for me.  I tire of so many people clawing at me all the time.

What has your holiday been like for you?

After reading your post, somehow I sense that you fear "corruption" and not poverty.  You fear what you have being taken away from you somehow.  It sounds like you fear being "undermined" somehow.

You have done so much to get to where you are, you have dollars put away, a home, a car, you are a citizen in the most powerful country "to this date", to me it is more a fear of what you have achieved, being taken away.

Do you not feel that you "deserve" what you have accomplished?  God says a "workman is worthy of his hire" = are you not worthy of your hire? 

I suggest that you focus on solidifying your position where-ever you are, continue to work on magnifying that success you have demonstrated to get you where you are today. 

Don't just invest in companies without, continue to invest in yourself and your own ideas, and relax my friend, everything and everyone is not corrupt.  Many of us have been where you have been.

Outstrip:
The issue with hair and black people is just too complicated. It is not as simple as what the woman wants or even what men prefer. The issues are also different in different cultures. I can definitely relate to changing hairstyles depending on your audience. My hair usually is in a very curly fro-like hairstyle but if I am going to see a potential client especially if it is the first time I will wear my hair smaller. Part of it is that I don't want my hairstyle to be the focus of a meeting and the other is that I don't want them to make an ignorant assumption and screw up a deal.
With African Americans the whole 'good hair" thing drives me crazy and that started from back in the slave days. You had "good hair" and light skin you might get special priviledges from "master". In Nigeria it is just a mess. People just walk around wearing wigs backwards or sideways and think they are cute. As long as they have fake hair it is okay. It makes them look more American.  There are Nigerian men that will look at woman like she is crazy if she even wears her natural hair. I would even go as far as to say that educated american men are more accepting of women wearing natural hair than educated nigerian men

Seconded and totally agree!

jennykadry:
As usual MBJ, a man cheats on his wife, it's her fault, men love articial women, it's our fault, a man is broke, it's our fault, a man dies it's our fault. When will you lot start taking responsibility for your actions?

Seconded!

ifyalways:
Its alot worse in Naija,trust me.

I know how hard I fought and all the problems i had back in the days at a nursing school and my only crime was cos i was spotting a clean locks.(not dada oh)

I also remember going out on a date with a compound fooool who at the end of the day,was giving me money to make my hair the next day,asking me if i was so broke i can't afford to make my hair.Jeez! I almost slapped the guy.People embarass you anuhow just cos u choose to stay natural.

I wore my hair natural - exactly 3 years ago - had it completely cut off to less than one inch - just washed it once a week - but wet it every single day and put in conditioner and allowed the conditioner to air dry in the hair and it curled the hair in tiny curls all over my head, received so many compliments.  I walked around like that for 2 years - but I rarely went outdoors - I owned my own business from the home which is computer based so I didn't receive any feedback from others and if I did, my personality could care less, About one year ago I finally permed it because if it wasn't wet, it was difficult to comb through and I didn't have the time it took to tear through it, destroying my locks and ripping hair out, so I put a perm in it.  I don't do weaves or braids - HATE THEM ALL - now I just soften the hair with perm versus the bone straight look, but the conditioner "creme leave in" gives a very straightened look where I don't have to perm my hair any longer but 3 times a year and just enough to soften the kink, so it is now manageable and I lose less hair because no more ripping through it and fighting with it by using water, etc,

But that doesn't mean that I don't love natural hair  - if your hair is natural and you can style it without having to put braids in it or spend hours tugging through it, I encourage you to wear it in that manner. 

Hair isn't about you as a person.  We live amongst our families, friends, mates, neighbors.  Though we want to make our appearance as though we have "sole ownership to it."  The reality is that if you want to succeed and progress and train your household and offspring.  If you wear it natural or store-bought - it definitely has to do with confidence, acceptability (home and society).  Or you can opt on being an outcast, a rebel with your cause and go forth.

There are still some acceptable "natural" styles such as the very close cropped cuts and big earrings.  If you have glowing skin and a personality to match - I don't know much about Naija but U.S. adores a black woman who sports that look, she is on the page of periodicals and magazines, in law firms, corporate America, schools, etc.

Riding my bike at midnight and then bible study

EXCITED and CANNOT WAIT!!!

Wikipedia - please be aware that Wikipedia ISN'T A VALID SOURCE on ANYTHING AT ALL.

It is updated by ANYONE - you can open a wikipedia account and list an item.

When I was at Holy Cross College, Notre Dame Indiana and at Northwestern University, Evanston, Illinois and at University of Wisconsin-Madison - NONE of the professors would allow us to list a source found on "Wikipedia."

They aren't valid and they aren't credible sources.  You can make up anything and list it on Wikipedia. Anybody, anywhere can put any kind of nonsense, fable, lie, invented fiction and list it as though it is fact.

One of my clients, "Wanakee Pugh" - a very famous model - googled herself and found herself on Wikipedia and some of it was true and alot totally false. She had to send a notification to Wikipedia and it took some weeks before she was allowed to revise the information that was written about her by someone she had never heard of and never met.

Please people do your research.  Accuracy saves headache and time from being wasted.

When I was a student at the UW-Madison - I took a class titled, "The History of Wisconsin" - this is where I learned the facts I posted in my first post and where I also received the worst discrimination I have ever seen in my life; though I have lived in several Southern States and out West.  Wisconsin's general misunderstanding and barely veiled hatred for black faces was out-of-control (they don't care if you are African or African American or a dark skinned individual from India or Puerto Rico or Mexico - all they see is black - they don't care if you are light skinned or dark skinned - they just see black).

This is now 2011 - but this has been ongoing for many, many years - they always have a problem retaining blacks because of the racism in that state.  I hope 2011 is different.  This has been ongoing for 40+ years and probably longer than that,

As in most instances, there will be some successful blacks that fall through the loop and come out unscathed but for the majority of blacks, it is of nightmare proportion.

http://www.cows.org/pdf/ds-blackwisconsites_011107.pdf
scroll to the 2nd page - see - Unemployment and Incarceration

CyberG:
^ For real??  I never knew that much!

I attended UW-Madison from 2004-2007 - From 2004-2005 there was exactly 4% African Americans enrolled in a group of 10,000+ students on campus.  This was told to me by an African American male Dean of one of the schools.

The summer of 2005 or 2006 - the local newspaper posted on its front page everyday for almost a month or longer that because of the lack of "diversity" with Wisconsin graduates - most large corporation employers WERE NO LONGER willing to hire graduates from University of Wisconsin-Madison because "Their graduate" and I quote, "do not know how to work with people that were different from themselves."

So an initiative was launched by the University to "seek out minorities especially black."  I attend an "all-white church" and when this hit the newspaper, the church called a meeting to discuss it.  You can only imagine the embarrassment I felt in that crowd, being the only black person.

This is how I remember it VIVIDLY.  From 2006 and on, on almost every street corner you now see a black face on campus.  The campus is going out of the way to make sure their white students can obtain employment with large corporations.

But you still have many, many, many that think just like the OP.    Also Wisconsin isn't the only state.  I caution anyone going too far out west as well.

Welcome to the "Wisconsin mind-frame" - I just moved from Wisconsin a little over a year ago.

Sadly, a very large majority of "Wisconsinites" - think like this about anything that is not white.  Many of their African American men especially the more north you travel, they also think this way as well.  They have a self-hatred going on and date only white women.  Especially in the Madison area.

Fstranger was exposed to it as well.  The history of Wisconsin and Minnesota is a very, very large percentage of Germans live in the area since the State's creation.  The level of racism that resides in that area is remarkable.

It boasts the largest number of Afriican Americans locked up in the United States - every year Minnesota (its sister state) or Wisconsin holds the lead.  Also Wisconsin is the leader in the U.S. to the State with the highest number of unemployed people.  Jobless.

Highest unemployment and Highest number of Blacks incarcerated in the U.S. - this has been a fact for several years running - the past 10 - I have NOT checked their status since I moved from the state in 2010 - but I doubt it has changed much.

Overlook the poster, her comments only reflect her surroundings.  Many of the whites in Wisconsin especially the more north you venture have NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON in person, just on television.  Every city in Wisconsin no matter how large or small houses a prison.  Wisconsin is known for its cheese, fish, farms, hunting and rural get-away areas that city folk want to see country = millions of farm-fed rednecks populate Wisconsin.

When you leave southern Wisconsin, the area that houses their black population which is Milwaukee and Racine area and you head towards central, Western and Northern Wisconsin where you are lucky to see any blacks at all - I encourage you to sleep with one eye open at all times.

Sadly, the poster's ignorance is the normal for that area.  She probably hasn't been scammed.  This is "just who she is." - There are thousands of people like her on the UW-Madison campus - where I attended school - trust me, it was SHOCKING and TOTALLY TWILIGHT ZONE LEVEL.

Tom Ford:
Hmmm,
I just finished reading 16 pages of this topic which started out as a suggestion plea but derailed by some 'notable derailers' but the turn of events for me started with the accusations,word trading e.t.c around page 9.I went through one of the links and smh,its saddening to know people behave that way

Having said that,why can't the people clamouring for pictures see beyond the veil?does it really change anything?some even said they don't mind photoshop
what really is wrong with the mindset of some people?what's the biggie in having a car as a gift no matter the model?People give houses,lands and the likes every now and again so what's so special in a car gift?

@op,just want to know if you eventually settled out your differences with that fx dude and do be wise in your dealings with people
@topic,going by your topic header shows you want it returned, my opinion just do it.Why accept it in the first place if you knew right away you would rejected it?

Seconded!! Great review and accurate observations

@ OP

Thank you for opening this thread - I am going to post all the emails that I have received from these people as well. Some are women claiming they love me. I am a woman and I like men - I don't want a woman. They are liberian, cameroonian and some other nationality - I will post the emails later today too.

Maybe this will make them stop. It is ridiculous.

@ OP

insecure - means it didn't end well and you still have feelings for this guy

I WOULD NEVER go with a fake date - dress beautifully and - work on yourself internally from today until the wedding.

Also remember that men have the same feelings that we have, he is probably thinking the same inside. Go by yourself - you could meet a wonderful man who won't approach you in the presence of the fake date.

I would smile a brilliant smile - hold my head high and strut my dayum stuff - dance, eat and be merry.

Ese gan

Moferan Yoruba

Mase iwon ti mole se lati ko

^^^

It touched me too my friend - I loved it very much - thanks for posting it.

Bawo Ek'aro

@ 190

Welcome back

Ileke

That is very, very sweet.

Why are you people feeling sorry for the woman and criticizing the man?

Whites have exploited blacks the world over - I do not pity her and am not angry with him. She is a grown woman - let her enjoy his young d.ik and let him get his papers.

Celebrate both of them and let the two get whatever they want to get out of each other. The woman shouldn't be pitied - she knows what she has done and is doing. I pray he gets away from her old azz before she turns him out and all he will want to date is old women. One good thing besides his papers is that he will be matured by her and be a better man from his exposure to her.

The only thing I pity in her regard is that she has to deal with someone in his 20s who will be quite immature. But maybe he won't be too immature - her marrying a man that young says volumes about her lack of maturity as well.

Reality101 that picture makes me vomit - abeg 1000 times please take it down.

OK - Shy's NL Husband(s) - I need more than one and the order they are listed is irrelevant - none is more important than the other - these guys I respect and admire and if I marry any one of them - Shy will be very loyal and committed to them:

FStranger
Kingsleyinfo
Orinklia (I never seem to be able to spell his name correctly)
Lord Reed
Kokoye

there are more names but I cannot recall at this time.

OG

When Wanakee started working with her hair - it was much shorter than your hair is now. Her hair wasn't past her chin or even her nose. When she was done it was getting caught in her belt loops at her waist.

She is not mixed with white - she has true black women's hair and it is thick. In her home (beautiful because she is an artist) - she showed me photos of her hair which was damaged from modeling and from on-set hair stylists who didn't know black hair - she modeled with mostly whites - I love her hair oil.

@ OG

Long Hair Care Forum - I have read it very, very well - one of my personal clients is "Wanakee Pugh" - google her - she is the queen of Long Hair and they mention her on the forum - her "Liquid Hair Oil" - I use it personally - it is fantastic - Verafin is its new name. (I probably have misspelled that word)

Wanakee is now a very good friend of mine - she used to live in the same building with me (condo) - that is how we met.

I use the leave in conditioning creme - I have never used ANY of the other products they make.  Because Wanakee's Hair Oil has made me a believer so I use her hair oil and I already have my other favorites - shampoo and deep conditioners from other lines - I piece meal a hybrid line TOGETHER FOR MY OWN PERSONAL USE - my hair tires of using all products from any one given line.

OG - try the creme - I love it and I am REALLY PICKY and have spent hundreds of dollars on hair care products, have tried so many, have lost count - now I have put together this formula for my own hair - if I don't get results I don't recommend - they have to make a true believer out of me in order for me to share advice with anyone else.

freecocoa:
See talk o,come shy-one so because I wear weaves that makes me a hypocrite?HOLY JESUS and MY ANGEL MIKEY! Your hair touches your nyash,how doe that affect us?you are bald,went bald or want to go bald,please who freaking cares?you cut your hair by the minuite and it grows back by the second,oh wow.well you are one lucky lady.
Please if you want to give tips on hair,I advice you do so without being overly pompous and ridiculous.whatever works for you,shouldn't,wouldn't plus doesn't have to work for everyone.
Now FYI,that someone chooses to wear weaves doesn't mean she won't be beautiful without it. What Nerve!calling people ugly and not themselves cos they wear weaves,you for kuku no dey wear cloth make we for know say you are yourself, Mtcheeeeeews.

@ lefulefu,I seriously wonder why a sane girl would\should let anyone TORCH her hair.

What's up Free? Haven't heard from you in a minute - my bad for the use of the word "hypocrite" - wrong word choice as Babe corrected me already.

Anyway - in response to your words - you know I didn't say ugly so why are you using that with me? I am not lucky just really hard working when it comes to hair maintenance.

tom28:
OP the reason that many nigerian girls get angry if a guy rubs their hair is because they wigs they buy and the cream they use on their hair is very expensive in nigeria hence they get scared that their boyfriend might mess up their hair if he touches it.Anyway its understandable that your european girlfriend is not offended when u rub her hair based on the fact that in western countries its not that expensive for a woman to maintaint her hair unlike in nigeria.I hear that in nigeria brazillian wigs for women cost to high heavens.

Tom - you are complete correct

ogugua88:
Sorry, that's how it came across.

You can always see the difference between shed hair and pulled hair. If the hair is pulled from the roots, there may be some scarring. There's more information about braiding now so I'm sure people aren't braiding like they used to, just as there's more info on natural/relaxed hair and different approaches are being taken.

Hair doesn't need to be lathered with shampoo to be clean. One needs a clean scalp to have healthy hair growth. When rinsing the shampoo from the scalp, it will go down the hair before it's completely rinsed off. So if braidwearers are washing and moisturizing their scalp, they should be fine. As for stimulating, the massaging from the shampoo/conditioner and also the moisturizing should be good enough. If they aren't washing often, then rubbing the scalp before bed can do too.

Trimming the ends of your hair has nothing to do with growth at the roots. Trimming split ends means fewer tangles and healthier ends, which leads to better length retention of one continues to care for the ends of the hair.

I'll look into hydroveil.

Touch or torch oga? If na touch I no go vex lol.

OG88 - I agree with you - once you stated rubbing - that is completely correct - any scalp stimulation and clean pores - pushes growth.

But I still am a big advocate for trimming ends - though it doesn't have much to do with hair growth - it has MUCH to do with hair retention and assists against hair breakage and split ends. - Just a shave's trim is all that is needed.

OG - HYDROVEIL is the "ish" - I am in collaboration with the company to be a representative for the product once I get over to Nigeria - that is how much of a believer that product has made of Shy. I love that stuff - it is really creamy so I completely avoid putting it on the scalp (don't want to clog pores) but I lather it in my hair and on my ends and then put a liquid oil for shine and either air dry, blow dry or sit under the dryer - I have never had more compliments.

Girl I beg you to try it and tell me what you think.

[quote author=BABE! link=topic=792901.msg9452459#msg9452459 date=1320073300]I'll give it a shot. If it doesn't work, you are paying me back my money.[/quote]Babe - give it a shot - send an email to my address and I will mail you your money back if you don't see results. I PROMISE

Dyt:
^^ where u bn?

Working like a slave - also am busy packing EVERYTHING for Nigeria - I miss your words on NL - how have you been my friend?

@ Poster

A wonderful photo - a picture is worth a thousand words - a great big thumbs up to you my friend.

^^^

I have tried just about every hair product on the market

I have never found anything that can beat this one or compare to this one. Absolutely love it.

[quote author=BABE! link=topic=792901.msg9449029#msg9449029 date=1320030081]@Sister Shy.

I wasn't offended. I was just confused.  

Hypocrites don't always hide their true selves. They don't necessarily present a different side of themselves to others. You know who they are for real; they don't practice what they preach; that's why they are called hypocrites.

The term isn't harsh. It's "wrong".

Calling them/us "fake" would make a lot more sense.  

PS: I'm going natural.  I'm three months into my transition. [/quote]Ohh - ok - well then give me another term that you are comfortable with, to me hypocrites ALWAYS hide their true selves - when they finally pick a side you still don't know if it is real or not because they have done what you said above - they don't practice what they preach and in view of an audience they also practice what they don't preach depending on who is or isn't around. But since the term is confusing - forget it.

Wearing fake hair is fake is what I am trying to say.

I cut it all off to less than half an inch no perm for about 6 months - when I washed it and conditioned it - it curled up all over my head and I wore hair gel to freeze the natural curls in and put in a hair glosser - so the little curls were soft and shiny - everybody loved it - then I grew it out and kept the ends trimmed myself. Now I can't see the back so my mom trims it for me in the back because it sits on the middle of my back and I trim the top myself. The top now in about 3-4 months will be too long for me to trim myself and I will have to get someone else to trim it for me.

Babe - buy "Hydroveil creme leave in conditioner" - you will LOVE IT - coats the hair - no breakage - grows the hair like weeds and has a great mint smell too. You will never leave home without it.

http://store.goldenmartbeautysupply.com/hydecoletr.html