₦airaland Forum

Blame,that sanctuary everyone is always quick to run to when the going gets tough. The already made excuses we are always quick to offer when everything comes crashing down. The same thing our politicians use whey they fail to meet up to their expectations, the same weapon a husband uses when he is caught cheating, that same tool a student uses when caught in an act of examination malpractice and once again, the same weapon a woman uses to sell her body for money because of the hardship in the land. The recipient of this blame is always the devil. Yeah, the same one that was banished from heaven. Indeed, this guy is really mischievous and brutal owing to the stories we've all heard about him. But please, this poor guy should be given a break.

As an adult, there are some things that are expected of you. There are things you should know and when you fall short of this, never heap the blame on someone else, instead, take the responsibility for your actions. Don't tell that lady she trapped you with pregnancy just because she very much wanted to get married to you. You're as guilty as she is. It takes two to tango, she didn't sleep with herself to conceive. You didn't think it was necessary to strap up when getting intimate with her, to protect youself from being an unprepared father, and most importantly preventing yourself from contracting those deadly diseases out there. You decided to take all chances, and now you suddenly think the lady is a witch that has been sent from your village people to disrupt your life plan? No, you alone are responsible for your misfortune.

For the lady, you have a duty to protect yourself. Yeah sex is great and all but remember a man and a woman is different biologically, and you will be the recipient of the end result of your risky escapades. It is not a crime for a woman to embrace her sexuality, in fact,it is a good thing when a woman acknowledges the fact that she do have sexual urges like her male counterparts. But that doesn't mean you always have to act on it, that is what makes us better than animals, because we as Humans have a better sense of reasoning and judgement.

But what I find disturbing is the usual line some women are always quick to use when a sexual relationship doesn't work out. It is usually' he used and dump me' how exacly did that happen? You knew what you were signing up for, not so?and God forbid, if they should eventually get pregnant it is usually the ' he got me pregnant' line as if she wasn't aware of getting intimate with the guy in the first place. Think twice before you murder (abort) that innocent soul, if you're old enough to have sex, you should be ready to stand by its consequences. The only exception in this case is when a woman is being raped or if the woman's life is in danger and the baby really has to be terminated to save her life.

The importance of taking responsibility for your actions cannot be overemphasised. If anything, it actually makes you a better person. No matter what life throws at you, you will be ready to embrace it. Every human is responsible for his or her misfortune, whatever action you carry out; which could either make or Mar, just know you're the architect of what ever outcome eventually comes out of it.

Don't tell me the recession in the land made you become an Internet fraudster. One thing I find annoying about these guys is the number of hours they spend in chatting with their clients. That same time that could have been used for something productive, like reading to have a sound and better mind,sharpening their computer design skills which could fetch them some bucks to keep body and soul together and list goes on, is usually used for counter productive acts. I always cringe at their ostentatious lifestyle, it never ceases to beat my imagination how porous and shallow minded they can be. Stop using the bad governance in Nigeria as an excuse, our leaders have failed up woefully, they are all greedy louts who are only concerned about their pockets. But that still doesn't justify your heinous act.

You don't have to swindle innocent people of their money because you very much want to buy a 'big suv' to impress the shallow minded girls. Yes, it is only a shallow minded girl like yourself,who has no substance, morals and most especially has nothing to offer that will be swayed by your outrageous lifestyle.They glady sell their bodies to you, and you in turn shower them with your ill gotten money. Yes! the land is bad, but people are still surviving. I've good guys around me who would rather work hard to make ends meet than to engage in what you call 'the easy way out'. They do not have two heads, they also live in Nigeria. So what exactly is your excuse? You really think it's cool swindling people right? Well good news, karma is just right around the corner. And when it finally comes knocking, please be ready to hold up to it and embrace it warmly.

Accepting responsibility increases your personal growth and level of maturity. No human is infallible, we all make mistakes. No one was born perfect. Our imperfections keep us alive, motivating us to push farther and farther. So next time you want to blame the devil, or your sweet,wrinkled, old grandmother in the village or any other person at all; just know you are the architect of your being. Your future will always serve as a constant reminder and reflection of your 'today', so therefore, make today count.

www.simplybami..com


Cc; Lalasticlala

LadyGoddiva:
I even thought the boobs were showing sef, like Tboss braless
She’s got nice boobs, bras are fuckiñg uncomfortable and she can decide not to wear them. I never even wear bras when I’m home sef so maybe she’s the kind of girl that don’t wear bras unless they’re stepping out.

God bless you dear. I hate wearing bras at home too. What's the fuss about? Smh.

LadyGoddiva:
I even thought the boobs were showing sef, like Tboss braless
She’s got nice boobs, bras are fuckiñg uncomfortable and she can decide not to wear them. I never even wear bras when I’m home sef so maybe she’s the kind of girl that don’t wear bras unless they’re stepping out.

God bless you dear. I hate wearing bras at home too. What's the fuss for? Smh.

ikeepitreal:
I'm dying I'm dying

Awwwwn, ndo you hear. Lol.

DivinelyBlessed:
Why will you make $150,000 and go broke??

Nna eh, yahoo no be work!

yanabasee:
How do they get to meet pretty ladies on Facebook?.....

The girls that I have been sliding into their DMs are ugly....
The pretty ones are hoes..... while the few semi-pretty ones will reply me ones in a year!!!!


BTW, they look cute together......

Wow! Smh.

sholay2011:
Jesus! Nigeria!

I read this story and I was shook. God help this country and bless this doctor. Chai.

Lol. 'shook' indeed!

Brooke60:
You wanna use 'bus' to judge?
Lemme tell you that I entered a bus with a very rich man from Obalende to Iyana-Ipaja. It was when he dropped that the conductor shared his story, very rich man. They did not even collect transport fare from him

Sometimes, they just wanna feel real life of hustling upandan

This guy's sense tire me

Don't mind her. Even if the guy doesn't have a car yet,is that really a yardstick to judge his personality? So far a guy is SMART,has a great personality, and has potentials,never let him go. Maybe she wants him to steal or start 'Yahoo' to buy a big 'SUV' to impress her friends that she has arrived. Smh. It's simply misplaced priority.

Nostradamus:
alright then, but I really believe that the OP is not babalawos

I don't think so. Well,let's keep our fingers crossed.

bodyonchecheche:
Lol I always know what's up when I see 'what are you wearing?'

Or send me a picture of you in bed. #pervert .I don't waste time in telling them their lives history though.

This man is so shameless.

Agbaletu:
You are a useless governor, lalong

A very useless one, God I'm so angry!

How insensitive can one be? Is he now mocking Ortom? There is absolutely no justification for what is happening right now. God, I weep for my country.

gregyboy:
i am an half caste(brown) as Jamaica's may call it and when are seen as different race in jamaican we are highly segregated because of our light skin .
when I consider the social interactions in Jamaica. However, a form of racism, if I may use such a harsh word, exists in the Jamaican culture.
The thing is I have a fair complexion or what is locally known as "Browning" in Jamaica. The blessing and the curse. I must admit that this complexion does have it's advantages as the likkle high colour and pretty hair somehow makes you a bit more appealing to quiet a few girls and for some it gives that a boost up the corporate ladder. However, there is a price to pay for being a Browning .
"Brown man!"
One of the tortures I had to endure while growing up and still am enduring is constantly being called Brown man or
Browning . Some have even gone as far as calling me Mr. Chin ...note I am of Irish and Black decent, not Asian! I find it extremely annoying when I'm referred to as Brown man or Browning . It feels as if I'm being singled out for the colour of my skin. If you don't know my name, I'm ok with " young man " or "Yow my yute" or refer to be by the colour of my clothes. That's how a person of dark complexion calls to another dark person in Jamaica, why do I have to be referred to by the colour of my skin? I don't walk around calling to people as "Black man", "Black woman" or "Blackning "!
Yuh Rich
The one that really pisses me of the assumption that because I'm light skinned I have money. I call it the "Brown People Have Money Syndrome ". I will abbreviate it and call it BMS for the rest of this article (venting). It is a very common misconception among many Jamaicans, in other words many Jamaicans suffer from BMS. I face this almost every day, when I go about my own business in public.
I remember this incident some time ago. I just started working and I didn't have my car as yet, so I had to take public transportation to visit my mom back in Portland. I was on this mini bus, and if you have ever traveled on a mini bus (Mostly 15 seat, Toyota Hiace or the larger 20+ seat, Coaster) in Jamaica, yuh know it packer dan a sardine tin! There was this big fat woman beside me, taking up two persons seat, and squeezing the life out of me. As if that wasn't bad enough I had to drive through "The Junction " in St. Mary. The Junction is the most winding and treacherous road in Jamaica. Corners inside of corners, semi-loose rocks on one side of the road and precipices on the other side of the road. As the bus rocked to my side this fat woman attempted to crush me to death. So in an attempt to save my life, I used my elbow to gentle ease her up. She didn't like it and proceeded to cuss me out. " People like yuh nuh fi travel pon bus.. .” and the statement that took the cake, "... all if mi did brown like yuh mi woulda have mi own car. ..” How the hell the colour of my skin will magically allow me to have a car? I have to for a living just like any other Jamaican!
I find that in Jamaica there is a price for dark skinned people and a price for light skinned people. If I decide to buy something from some of the higglers who sell on the side of the road, I have to pay Brown Skin Tax (BST). Just because of the colour of my skin, some of these higglers think that I am rich. A few months ago I was searching for a dog tag (the chains soldiers wear), and asked the price and this man wanted to sell me a $300 dog tag for $600, "a wah tek dah fool yah ", I said to myself and walked off. Just a few days ago, a dumb ass self-proclaimed repairman claimed to have repaired my girlfriend’s fridge and because I was there, he wanted to charge $2000 fro diagnosing the problem (which he did not!) after telling her that it was $800. When she objected he proceeds to turn to me and say, " Brown skinned man like yuh a big monetary man, yuh must can tek care a di fee."
What di rass! Here we go again, another case of BMS.
Maybe racism is too much of a strong word, or call me overly sensitive, but I do face a form of discrimination here in Jamaica, due to the colour of my skin.and i also relate with other africans and it seems the same blacks against black,Black's against browns and white against Black's.and also the bleaching syndrome in blacks
sometimes i feel inferioty complex which has grown to be a mental slavery in every black.and i feel our big problem is not the white man but we ourself. pls comment your thought

The word 'Half-caste' is derogatory. Next time use 'Biracial' instead.

biacan:
She is so beautiful



When will my English boyfriend propose to me biko

Why not propose to him since you're ready?

You're right OP. Check out www.simplybami..com

MhizzAJ:
He will go broke very soon

Exactly! that vehicle is way too expensive.

Proudlyblack:
I am the only lady here that don't find guys with so much beards attractive? I am the only lady here that don't find guys with so much beards attractive?

You're not alone. I find it very repulsive.

CaptainG00D:
Hmm ok so Ur hubby paid dowry and became broke.? Rubbish!!!.
Any man that cant pay for his woman bride price is not ready for marriage n parenthood..
By the way its not by force to marry an igbo woman... look elsewhere where women are cheap.

As for ur friends who has "VOWED" not to marry igbo women pls tell them to vow with amadioha and ogun so that the vow will strong well well.
Becoz im loving that vow let them keep away from our women pls and stick to their own who "dont sell" their kids.

Pls pls all igbo parents should increase the brideprice more let them leave our gals alone becoz its getting too much pls.

NUFF SAID!!

Bride price should be abolished.https://lm.?u=http://simplybami..co.ke/2017/12/bride-price-in-africanthe-old-norm-and.html?m=1&h=ATP4Bs7EvyDldfUow0EGfeBGUGOJ-h-mRyJ1maiCSGIg1saY6kQMzykEVV2DyygJQ5uYG3VmvAsY8Uf5Tluqfh-6KMThmkvykxRRZnK_D2ipzpqUjzMTe2gQanMMZQR5qv0r9-gKZc4C3h7IPE9h&enc=AZMDj_KKlPqhDmKfUbq2AnwHMTYyxyd8KjBYQWg68qCPTDig4lvC9Mqql5RSP2F2jF41-clEpSodXdyGL-e69_qVrV-OPWJemThWUcP-K_wal6rxNJCSsGfVSnq8TF965zrHV5b0ZhxvzUfSZm9oh75YkCr5UombgUdKDRMRofJ4C5Zl4wbTDtxt2EAopSvRKjO4aRrxEDOXy1i-qdq6ISreriYCkr_ESQ9MyKAi9MgAxmApDqPAaFcBpTKJPJ6OhuDw3al5kTooZJ3Nog01iKab_inTEQJE47wYggmmsoG_S7eJmgCqpp-BC91mGGVHMYcLqrmbj-zlkEIy3YfnpWRc&s=1

Mynky:
is it really possible that an upright man will agree to marry a physically challenged woman?

Love is such a beautiful thing.

hammerF6:
They want to argue who has more beautiful women.


I will take yorubas seriously wen i see their men marrying yoruba women.



U jump fence to Igbo land, leave ur free women to pay bride price and u still think u have any grounds to stand with us and talk?



How many igbo men do u see marrying other tribes? How many Igbo men marry yoruba?

What sort of madness is this?please,you will become someone's ancestor in future;so start acting like a well raised Adult!

ajasa4link:
The 'concert' is just an example of what is wrong with average Nigerians; I can do it all by myself. You want to be the host, the star artist, the concert manager, the DOP and all.

I believe events like this is something that ought to have been planned since January with every little detail given much attention. The show should've been contracted out to be well managed by some professionals to managed,a live band to be arranged(which most of the musicians would've rehearsed with in the course of the year) instead of the shouting contest we witnessed in plac of life performance

And yes, he is not the only one guilty of this sha. Dem plenty

He really needs to learn from Falz.

The agitation for gender equality has been around for quite a while now ,which is an emancipation from that stifling box women have been placed in; hence, making them enjoy the same benefits and opportunities the opposite sex enjoys without any form of restrictions. This is a welcomed development, which has had a tremendous effect over the past years. According to Wikipaedia, the Feminism movement/history(it is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a commom goal:to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, person, and social equality of the sexes)started in the 19th/20th century.It is divided into three waves, each with slightly different aims based on prior progress.


First-wave Feminism of the 19th and early 20th centuries focuses on overturning legal inequalities, paying emphasis on women's suffrage (the right to vote). The second wave Feminism (1960s-1980s) broadened debate to include cultural inequalities, gender norms and the role of women in the society.  The third-wave Feminism(1990s-2000s) refers to diverse strains of feminist activity, seen as a continuation of the second wave. It is important to note that, when Feminism was introduced to Africa, it was seen as an abomination,because it was not in our culture for a man and a women to be treated in equal proportion. Hence, the resistance initially. But now, we are gradually acclimatising into it though slowly, and we will definitely get there some day.

The issue of Bride price has become a controversial issue in the present day African society. Some see it as an archaic culture that should be abolished, while others see it as an essential part of the African culture that should never be cut of. It is the believe of the latter that for a man to show his love and worth to the family of the bride and also as a form of respect to the bride in question, he has to pay a certain amount of money which is always very low. But the marriage list that comes with it is usually very expensive to fulfil.

For example, in Ondo state;the bride price is a paltry sum of five thousand naira which is always returned to the father of the groom. But the wedding list (Eru Iyawo)which includes:forty-two tubers of yam, a bag of rice, twenty-five litres of palm oil and vegetable oil,crates of soft drinks, crates of malt drinks, two big baskets of different types of fruit,a big suitcase containing clothes, shoes and hand bags for the bride and list goes on; can be very expensive and demanding which must be fulfilled, even to the smallest thing on the wedding list. The groom has to provide everything on the wedding list, because without it; the bride price isn't valid and the bride won't be handed to the groom.

So how exactly can gender equality be achieved with the inclusion of bride price? Is the female gender a commodity that should be purchased by the highest bidder? In our society, if a man doesn't fulfil the wedding list of his bride, he can never be regarded as a real man. As a result of this, some men do resort to borrowing money from friends, taking loans from banks and at times; even stealing just to fulfil all righteousness. So after going through all that stress just to get married to the woman he is in love with, you really expect that type of man to see his wife as an equal? NO, he will continue to see her as a commodity he had spent his life savings on to purchase.

This archaic practice is usually backed up with the African culture card. Culture is the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of a particular people or society. People make culture. The rules and regulations we have all over the world were all made by humans so many years ago, not spirits. In the 19th century, it was the culture of the Efik and Ibibio:a particular ethnic group in Nigeria to kill twins. But it was later abolished because of the intervention of the late Mary Mitchell Slessor who fought tooth and nail to ensure that the barbaric tradition was put to an end. Of course, so many people were against the abolishment initially because they were sacred of upsetting the gods of the land. But, it was eventually abolished, and the ethnic groups involved are still flourishing till date.

So, can this tradition be cut off? Yes, but it can only happen when the African society start seeing the female genders as full human beings whom they do not have to transfer to a new owner/master as a mere commodity. So many men in Africa believe that, bride price automatically means ownership. It is important for every African parent to know that once they accept the bride price of their daughters, they are automatically selling them off; stripping them of their rights, dignity and honour. Some men maltreat their wives because of the huge amount of money they've spent in "acquiring" them. They see them as  lesser beings . But love is a beautiful feeling which should never be quantified by monetary standard .It is not important for a man to pay a certain amount of money or fulfilling an outrageous wedding list in order to prove his worth and love for his bride.

An incident occurred on Christmas day in my street; where a man kept beating his wife for a flimsy excuse of not answering him immediately he called her. The surprising thing however was the statement he kept repeating:"I've paid your bride price, you're living under my roof and you should accord me with respect because I'm your Lord"! People had to intervene to get the woman from his grip after designing her face and body with different patterns. This is just a typical example of how some men treat their wives. The man in question spent a staggering two million naira on the bride price of his wife. The man obviously sees and treats his wife like an object, this mentality is really demeaning.

There are so many hustling guys out there who would really love to settle down, but they are being discouraged due to the high amount of money they'd have to part with. Can we all have a sane society, where women aren't treated as second class citizen, devoid of any owner? It begins with you and I, by educating people about the outcome of this archaic culture,which should be cut off completely. I honestly crave this type of society, because there will be happier men and women without any form of expectations.For gender equality to be achieved in the African society, the issue of bride price must be abolished totally; giving women a sense of freedom and right without any restrictions.

www.simplybami..com

Martin0:
Chai all these ogogoro driver's

What's so funny about this,are you an idiot?

Sanchez01:
You ended up mixing your points up and left a space open. What we should be asking now is, 'was nudity in vogue as at the time the White man introduced clothing and textile to the black man?'

Yes, Africans realised they were naked when the White men came and they wasted no time in carving a dress sense for themselves which was never truly European. It became our thing and wore it with pride.

In a bid to protest against the colonialists, do you go about naked just because it used to be your thing?

If you were given a camera, a crew and some money to shoot an expository video of your very own people, your kindred, would you ask the ladies to go unclad or perhaps make G-strings out of leaves and and shake from left to right? You get the problem now, yeah?

Social media happened and that it is why nudity spread like wild fire. The desperation for attention, social media likes and compulsive Internet trend forced most people to hate their clothes. But then again, the simple logic comes to play; in a bid to fault whatever the white man did/brought, one's body parts was much revered than any other thing in the past.

That you should about the heritage of your people does not mean you must date it back to the days of Adam and Eve, when they walked about all day without knowing they were naked and unashamed about it.

Sex sells faster than anything in the world today and the same thing goes for nudity.

Nice one!

Gkemz:
Black beauty

Her skin tone is everything.

mazimee:
The comments was Exactly the same thing some nairalanders would have said if the victim was a girl.

Now everybody can clearly see how crazy it sounds when the table is turned.

God bless you.

harrwix:
Reading the post...I thought it was another feminist agenda




till I read the conclusion....well written!

Thank you. Do you have a problem with Feminism? Because that's what this is all about.

ubergold:
Op who did this to you? When I see women query the "status quo" in marriage I either see them as not having understanding of how it works or have gone through a terrible experience. Please get one thing straight, a wise woman knows that submission is a woman's most powerful tool.

What exactly is your definition of submission? I find that word very stifling and unsettling.

[quote author=donsimo post=63322319][/quote]Wow!your level of reasoning is so shocking.

Wow! Your level of reasoning is so shocking.