₦airaland Forum

Forget TCCOBB, forget the wrestler. . . The Movie to see is Slumdog Millionaire! Ye Gods, this was a very good movie and the fact that it had no pretentiousness to it made it even better.  I hope it wins or at the very least get nominated for an Oscar. The little movie that could!!

It’s also got Irrfan Khan (the guy from The Mighty Heart) in it and Anil Kapoor whom I’ve always adored, which made it the perfect movie to see (for me).

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE!!

PS
When I said forget TCCOBB, I was only joking ooooh!!

Every Earthmama thread should come with a warning. . . like the Miranda rights or something


You have the right to remain silent. Anything you type can and will be used against you in uwan Duniya's court of law. You have the right to keep your fingers from typing during questioning. If you cannot do this, look for an ax and chop them off immediately!!

Do you understand these rights? Do you? Do You?!! For the Love of God. . . . DO YOU??!!!

JJYOU:
sisi and TOPUP. what is reding?

Reding? I'm not sure I know what that is oooh!

Busy_body:
For real, wow, I'm impressed and my head is starting to swell sef, would love
to be brilliant and versatile like you I popped out on the 31st of May, how about you

My teacher!! My Mentor! The one I aspire to be like when I'm all growed up. . . Mine is 8 days afters yours!!

*Toyinrayo:
OMGGGGGGGGG, I'm Gemini too I popped on Feb

Guysssss, we rock


Busy body, you're next o, make u show picshur

Rotflmao!!!

Rotflmao @ Doyin and David

Seriously, You guys are hilarious!!

Guess you missed the little horns poking out of my head, the big buck teeth and the hunched back!!

Yipeee!!


@ Ruby & Tope

Na gode

Busy_body:
At the same time, as a Gemini

You jokin'. . .  I am Gemini too!! https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/6.gif

Oh boy, I bet Doyin is going https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/43.gif right about now!!

topup:
[color=#cc0066]I know that in this reply and the one above you were being jester and trying to lighten things up, but I actually am slightly. . a teeny bit offended. I have seen that tactic before, the whole quoting out of context. Within context it is clear to see that what has taken place on these last 14 pages is a discussion. A discussion which some people have changed their original stances and not just me. I don't feel targetted at all and I know there was no harm intended, but this is why I feel like getting closure and reassurance, because way too often people want to push their opinions on you, and as I argued strongly I will continue to argue that I believe closure is a valuable tool.

My initial point was that I have heard a surprising number of guys tell me their exs are crazy because they continue to call, but some guys just don't tidy up after themselves. I think we have been too easy on these guys (not all guys are like this I know. . yah yah). Now, instead of us pointing out the childlike behaviour in a 'man' who runs away from his problems, we are attacking each other, and then instead of the guy letting the girl know what's up, he just avoids confrontation, which is the MAIN issue, it's not because he has decided there is nothing to say, there is ALWAYS something to say, even when it's as simple as saying "I have nothing to say." If you can't deal all that comes with a relationship, stay out of them!
I have decided to no longer concern myself with the closure subject, and would much rather discuss what I set out to discuss. I don't want it to become personal because it has taken me almost 7 months to try and reasses who's fault things were, whether it was his or mine, or whatever, and I had to go through all of this crap because I didn't know what happened. Left stunned, just because someone says to you that they can't commit to you doesn't mean you understand what you did wrong, what went wrong or what happened! I think I will go back to my old method of not telling NLs my personal problems and woes, because I have found that in my time of vulnerability is when people will be pointing fingers. I mean who do you think is more hurt? The girl who's first love just ditched her after grooming her into a false sense of love AND commitment, who's even here on NL still talking about it or the guy who's moved on? *This is the part where I get the speech about moving on, because it's practically the easiest thing to do! (sarcasm)I've been doing that for 7 months and am usually fine until I read '*, and I am supposed to believe that It wasn't my fault as some have tried to tell me?

All I can hear is 'topup, you are part of the problem because you did somethings which might have caused the relationship to end, you don't know what they are, and you shouldn't want to, because it might not be what you want to hear or make a lot of difference. You are still a wonderful person nonetheless and no one should make you feel like you're not, even when they treated you like you were worse than crap, now you should pick up your pride off the floor and carry on walking, and when you've managed that, never wish to speak to him, because that is scary just move on because he has.' - Fabulous! It's that good ol' practical advice again!

Anyways, before I start going too far, I think it's going to have to end here. You guys have made your points clear, I won't speak about my personal life anymore, I'll keep shut and offer my advice. Got it!!

Topup, you know me now. . .  I am all for the rah, rah we are women, hear us roar *shake fists in the air* but in this case. . .  I think calling guys on their untidy break up methods is wasted effort, I mean this is not the same thing as calling them out on their bad table manners. So saying we’re letting them off too easy is a bit. . . I don’ know like saying we are not making an effort to move a mountain.

It is only human to want to avoid confrontation and with men, it is even more so. I have brothers who will give me what I want just because they want to avoid the whole drama which ensues from me not getting it. I have guy friends who give in to me just so they don’t have to face whatever mini pretend meltdown I have.  

We. . . women know this about guys and we have used to our advantages many many times.  So is it the same guy who readily give to minor things just to avoid confrontations we expect to sit down and have a “tidy breakup with up”, a situation which will no doubt lead to tears and recrimination? Come now! Let’s be real here.

Will it be nice to always have a clean break, with all the reasons laid out in a neat pile, even filed alphabetically or maybe according to seriousness? Of course!! Like you rightfully said, people should have a chance to learn from their mistakes (by the way, this is another thing that bothers me. . . why assume it your mistake? Why assume you were not the best girlfriend? Why assume the reason for the break up lie at your feet?)
However the chances of ever having a neat and tidy break where after it’s done, you are comfortable with the reasons given is very slim. Short of prying it out of their mouths with pliers, you’re not going to get much out of them and there is little or nothing you can do about it and trying to is why a girl is labeled crazy.

THIS Topup is what some of us are trying to relay here. . .  a guy would much rather withdraw or act a jerk and have the girl break up with him than sit her down and starts listing everything that went wrong in the relationship.

Closure is good, closure is healthy but I don’t think you need another person to help you define your closure.

Oh by the way, I don’t think we are attacking each other, I think we are having a heated discourse about them nasty guys . . . much like you would with friends over a bottle of sparkling apple cider. Hehehehe.

Scenario:

A friend who's current boyfriend told her to ignore calls on his mobile from a girl named X, because X was a girl who you know was . . 'crazy' and couldn't get over him. Well, she couldn't leave it and when she found out the truth she realised that the 'man' she was dating was an irresponsible boy. It turned out that the girl who called the 27 year old b/f of this girl was only 18 and he had told her that he wanted to be together with her. . forever, but after she lost her virginity to him, he broke it off, he initially acted all different with her and then eventually admitted that he wasn't into her anymore and left. She then tried to contact him initially to get him back, but then after he ignored her for months and months, she forgave him and now wanted to call just to ask some questions that were still lingering in her mind, I mean she thought; "How could someone do this to someone unless the girl had some problems." One time though during the heat of the breakup he had begged her to stay friends with him. So now that she was a lot less sore, she calls about 3 months later and he doesn't pick her calls, so she tries again. "Oh maybe he's changed his phone." She tries twice more, not knowing that when she's calling the same guy is telling his current girlfriend that the girl calling just won't leave him alone.

Scenario over.

Okay. . so what does everyone think about that scenario? Is she crazy?
[/color]

Once again, therein lies the problem. . . assigning the fault to the girl. She is not crazy. . . THE GUY IS A JERK, period.

The fact that is a JERK is enough for to have a perfect closure. In my opinion, waiting for them to give us reason for their behavior is like making excuses for them, we don't want to believe he is a jerk, so we leave ourselves open for whatever excuse he gives us. . . even if they are lies. Let his behavior speak for him and not the words out of his mouth.

Another glass of chilled cider?

Seriously, is there something in the water? What is with all these. . . .err. . . abeg forget about him.

Sometimes us women are our own worst enemy. Why won't they call us crazy when despite his shabby treatment, some are still lamenting over an email response.

Are you satisfied that you tried to take the mature route? If you are, then leave his behind to wallow in immaturity and if you aren't. . . . Well, You better start feeling it asap!

Yana buga turenchi kaman ba shi da hankali fa. Oh, drats. . . .menene ina ce? Ba shi da hankali.

Manners are manners are manners. . . No if, and or buts about it. This is the first I've heard that you have to invest in it.

Wahali, Just Good mutum yana ba dariya na. . . Dariya.

Rotflmao! Ni ma na sani. . . Bashi da komi a gida. Ba shi da kere ko bera a gida sef.

Hauwa, yaya?
To na gani kina tambay wannan mutum me ya faru da shi?

Oh Hauwa, Hauwa, Hauwa, dan Allah, dege inan zamu fara. . . . Wurin ba shi de hankali ko wurin ba shi de manners ko muyi duka?

Ki fadi, walahi talahi ina son taimaka shi. . . bani da aiki yanzu yanzu Kuma.

PS
Ya ce yana da mata a gida. . . . Yeah right! Wanne yarinya za ki so wannan?

Jeebus. . . Now they wanna make us out as unfeeling robots all because we aren't crying into our pillows every night, thinking how our world has gone awry!

Lmao!

@iice
I agree with you! It depends on the person's character.


@ Topic
The topic is about closure, or the OP won't state in caps WE NEED CLOSURE, EVERYBODY DOES.

Isn't this or rather the lack of this closure OP said can drive women crazy? Al the questions whirling through their heads, what did he leave? Why didn't he even tell the girl what she did wrong? Is she so disgusting he won't even pick up her calls?

Isn't it the insistence for answers to get closure which OP says makes guys think women are crazy?


So how do we talk about crazy women if we can't talk about what has supposedly driven them craaaaaazy like a fox?!!

That some do not agree with the idea of closure to move on, does not mean the thread has gone off course.


Why do girls nag? NOW that is off topic for this thread and I wish you'd open a thread for that coz that is one technique I need to learn.

I think the first step is knowing what kind of material you will be using and then match it with the accesesories.

Here are some lists of materials

Batiste, Brocade, Charmeuse, Chiffon, Crepe, Damask, Duchesse Satin, Dupioni, Faille, Gabardine, Georgette, Organza, Peau de Soie, Pique Satin, Silk Gazar, organza, Silk Mikado, Silk-faced Satin, Shantung, Taffeta, Tulle, Velvet.

Please, please don't use Chiffon and Taffeta. . . some of the nastiest wedding dresses I've seen are in Chiffon and Taffeta. (no offense to anyone)

If you can, use Satin with lace or Brocade and then use beaded embroidery. . . perfectimo!

na2day?:
how very convenient, blame the black guy, it wont be the first too 

Awww, I hurt your liwwle feewings? I sowwy https://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/consoling2.gif

Now give us a smile! Awww, soooo cute!!

<sub>Jeez, men. . . so sensitive.

Must be that time of the month. https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/29.gif</sub> 


You didn't answer. . . if women are the true custodian of our culture, would we be having this discussion? Hmmm?

Then what logical explanation could there be for their discussion?

This is a legitimate question? Seriously??!!

This is so stupid! Like anyone who wants to bomb a plane will be discussing the details so casually. . . on the way into the said plane.

Eejits!

5p1naz:
sisi jinx,  u really nid to get yourself updated,  n u really nid to do it quick, wtf is this? what uv written is meaningless,  gnatn 4 generation?/ hell no!!!! go do some little yahoo chat,  that'll improve ur skills of shorthand typin,

I apologize for not being up to date in gibberish as you are!

By the way

Wtf is this?
What uv written is meaningless
And hell no?

Yep, that about sums up the reaction people get after reading your nonsen. . . errr. . . skills of shorthand typing.

Hehehehe. . . . I guess I've been infected with the global denial going on here.

Drats! I blame you!

If we are truly the custodian of the culture, we won't be having this discussion, now would we?

E kú odún, e kú ìyèdún o!

Ati eyin naa ooh! https://images.zaazu.com/img/cheers-anim-cheers-champagne-wine-000272-design.gif

okooyinbo:
A very intelligent observation! Anyway, selective usage of culture is common place all over the world. And besides, globally, it is actually the females that are custodian of culture and not the male as one would like to think. Now, if female Africans begins to advocate the jettisoning of our cultures; then i am afraid the future of Africa is very gloomy!

That said: The western culture that "some" people would like to whole heartedly import, is itself not free of faults. Actually, there is nothing wrong in learning from other cultures as the Yoruba people knew a long time ago (Awon agbalagba ni: ogbon ologbon kii je a pe agba ni were). The optimal way would therefore be to imbibe the good things of other peoples culture into the local culture like the Japanese successfully did and as many Asians are doing. Christianity and Islam was preached in China, Japan etc. However, you'll never find that these people try to be more Christians than the oyinbos. They are actually not so xtianised nor islamised and they are advance countries in term of economic and cultural development. Even the elightened Westerners that have become disillusioned by the purported foundation of their culture are turning to "Eastern Philosophy and Religion". Now, the Africans tale is different! The Africans would love to think that he / she is more christian than the Oyinbos. Yet, Africa remain the most backward continent despite having churches and mosques in every nooks and crannies and the deafening prayers and isojis year in year out. A phenomenal about Africans taking other peoples culture is the wrong usage they put it. We call that in Yoruba (òlàjú òdì). They use it to oppresse and to marginalise others that do not share their views, which explain why we have not been able to achieve any meaningful development inspite of our rich endowment.

[b]My advice therefore is, please preserve our cultures and make neccessary adjustment where due. Don't just import other peoples culture. If we want to import foreign cultures, we should stop buying into them blindly. That's to say, we should try to refine the good things in the foreign cultures and blend it with our indegenous ones for OUR common developments.

It is a fallacy to believe that the men are the custodians of our culture. You WOMEN are! So therefore, please WOMEN don't stop being custodian of OUR culture! E má gbàgbé wípé: Odò kìí sàn kí ò gbàgbé orísun rè, odò tí ó bá sàn gbàgbé orísun rè, gbígbe ni a gbe.

Hopefully, some of your African brothers who are stilled imbibed in their cavemen mentality who would rather a woman be seen and not heard, will take this advice to heart.

The fact that a woman does not want to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen does not make a less of an African woman!

The fact that a woman think she deserves the same kinda of respect awarded to her male counterpart does not mean she's lost her way.

na2day?:
once again u are wrong dear, recycle bin is what u find on ur computer

I see denial is not just a river in Egypt!!

Rotflmao! Lawd-a-mercy! If you get married now, who will play with her Barbies?

JJYOU:
are you both hausa or what. 16 nawao this day and age

5p1naz:
watsup with ya man! no beef brother,  da shorthand stuff's just making ma job easier,  plus u gotta tell ur frend to get updated with da world n not sit somewhere n xpect pipl to always type each letter out,  no1's got da time to read long articles this days,

n d dumn dn of d nxt gnatn bgns https://www.runemasterstudios.com/graemlins/images/willy_nilly.gif

dayokanu:
@sisi jinx,

It means I would bend down to lift him,
When you want to lift something you bend down  geddit?

Thanks but I still don'tget it,why do we have to lift Jesus up?

Isn't it supposed to be the other way around . . . he lifts up?

I've always had an issue withall the bending down,

picking imaginery stuff up the floor and lifting it up in the air people do when they sing that song.

Jesus is not a piece of paper!!

*Toyinrayo:
LOLOL! I don't know. . . but there's another verse to this song that has to do with Satan on the floor. I forgot it

Noooo! Really? So Jesu is on the floor with Satani and it us who have no powers who picks him up?

Now that is just all sorts of wrong. . . never singing that song again!

na2day?:
na lie, that product was just recently put on the shelf and i can testify to that, brand u from the factory

Aaaah! Factory, eh? Hmmm, guess that's what they call recycle bin these days.

doyin13:
what the. . . .



its not my fault i can't eat ewa without adding sugar

Ehn now, that's why they said ema bawi!