₦airaland Forum

@TeeVee
One with no provenance!

Is that me?!!!


Why I never! What the....how dare. ...Bwahahahahahahahaha, can't even get through feigning offense with a straight face (I'm sorry. ..).

You sure have a way with words, I'll give you that much.

I know we haven't gotten off on the right foot but I'm hoping you can put that aside and help me out with something....I don't the whole people are jealous of me thingy, especially in the context of online interaction.

What exactly are people supposed to be jealous of...the way you space your posts? How many words you can fit in to a sentence? How fast you type...what? ! I'm sorry, I don't mean to put you on the spot but the psychology behind this type of utterance fascinates me.

How does one get jealous of someone they don't know beyond the words on the screen? Abi is there a special kinda monitor that reveals all the behind the scenes biography of the person you are interacting with?

I'm just asking oh because my thinking (which maybe totally naive) is that you gotta know who someone is, what they have or don't have...to make a sound judgment on if and why they may be jealous of you.

I use MAY because knowing who they are and what they have sef still doesn't make Jealousy an automatic conclusion.

There are just so many variables to consider, it's perplexing how an adult who has supposedly gone through all the stages of cognitive development reasons this way. So help me out here, what do you see that some of us don't?

The words SELF SERVICE just takes away the seriousness of the post.

Self Service. ..what is he, a gas station?

I think he should have placed more emphasis on the government creating a viable environment so the youth can have an incentive to stay.

Provide the basics amenities and watch them thrive.

Rotflmao @ Topic.

All sorts.

Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Well well well, this sure explains a lot.

Lord have mercy!!!

Thank you Uju and yellowpawpaw.

What you ladies wrote is exactly what debrief was trying to convey until people started jumping down her throat like she was pulling stuff out of thin air and won't let off even though she clearly stated she said most Nigerian men.

Even if all the people here had fantastic dads it still doesn't make up for the number of emotionally distant fathers out there. It doesn't!!!!!!!


That one is not naive or myopic to think how it was for them growing up or how it is for them now is how it is for everyone does not mean one had a terrible childhood (the logic behind that kind of thought is just very juvenile and quite frankly stupid....must one be directly affected by something to know about it? If I talked about the wonderful dads around me, does it change the fact that many many many children out there don't have the same experience? Does is Change the fact that most men think bonding with their children is beneath them?

Like I stated earlier, I'm glad it was a guy who started this thread because it just shows glaringly what is really going on here. If the issue causing wahala is truly about how men are being portrayed and not people just having an aversion for some user names, why didn't the defenders of Nigerian men take issue with the OP for opening this kinda thread? Why didn't they take issue with the very first response to the thread? Why was it until debrief posted....stating exactly what many of us know to be reality, stating the reason OP opened the thread, expanding on what most respondents have written..did it suddenly become male bashing?!

If the real problem is about how Nigerian men are being portrayed. ...then the thread itself should be called out. Period!!!!!

Holy self importance Batman!!!!

Someone sure has a high opinion of their presence on these threads.

Only tremble, what about tumble.

Grownazz men talking about online bullies. Lord save us from these pansies who call themselves men.

Choi! They sure don't make 'em like they used to anymore. Sad!

TV01: Simple kweshun 0! See diversionary non-response by a seemingly virtual person!!!



You, yours...geddit??

TV

_{And for those of you viewing the preceeding post, please stop ogling my lovely bod, it's for Mrs TV only !}

How do you want it....in bullet points, cliff notes or a full dissertation? You know what. ..I think we should just keep the status quo, ya know the one where you scurry unseen to read people's previous posts...yeah that one. This way you get to feel a sense of accomplishment for being smart enough to know about people from reading what they have written about themselves.

Now! Now don't thank me....I aim to please.

And they say we can't get along!!!!!

2s£xy:
Aunty Sisi kills, abeg nor slap me oh.

We all know that men who spend time with their kids are not much when compared to the larger population that's as far as the Nigerian soceity is concerned...

At least where I grew up you hardly find such... You could say there is a growing trend inclined to such requirement among Nigerian dads.

And please, I don't mean that they don't care and is taking up resposibility of paying ONLY bills the major things they should do? Was our mothers the ONLY one who brought us to this world? NO...

All I mean is that QUALITY time to be with the kids so as to be their 'friend'. There are some kids who can't even communicate with their dad like they would with their own friends at school because of 'fear' or no relationship.

I don't wanna debate but me must be the best for my kids.

Lmao! I got your point jare! No e-slapping here.

It was just surprising to see people acting like this isn't the reality in most homes in Nigeria. I don't know how stating the obvious gender bashing. Good thing twas a guy who started the topic.

Anyhoo, thanks for being real. That you noticed something wrong and addressed instead of sweeping it under the carpet for the sake of "protecting your gender" I pray God bestow upon you all you need to be GREAT FATHER to your kids.

babyosisi: Your husband says he doesn't mind so what exactly are you worried about
You already said your parents are late and your siblings at 12 and 17 have no where else to go and have lived with you and hubby for 3 years already
This should be a thread celebrating a great husband ,a good guy who has stepped in to help you take care of your siblings and has also allowed a 22 year old move in temporarily.

[size=18]I would plead with you all to treat him nice,and give Him his due respect. Problem will only arise when you or your siblings take him for granted
Please don't let that happen.[/size]

Do whatever you can to make sure your 22 year old brother doesn't overstay his welcome and when he gets a place and I hope soon,let your younger ones go to stay with him during some holidays ,that way you can have time alone with your husband.It is very necessary.
sorry about the loss of your parents at such a tender age.
God bless.

Just curious,why is your 22 year old brother not staying in your parent's house ?

Very well said!!!!!!!!

jidegirl12: [size=18pt]Dude was inspired by Jeremy's dedication to his family and wondered if there're men with same devotion / commitment to their family at home-Naija.[/size]

See what I mean? Shouldn't this be a given? A man? His devotion? His family? People ought to be e-slapping the OP upside the head.....with a what kinda question is that type expression. . .at least that's what one would expect if this wasn't a rare phenomenon. If a man isn't devoted to his family, who will he be devoted to? Ayin!

Unfortunately Jeremy could be another typical maniac dad who displays his family pic on office his desk/ Mac screen saver for 'awww' , 'such cuties', 'happy family', 'how old are they?' reviews/compliment from cubicle nose pokers e.g OP dude.... nobody knows what goes on the down low at home.

So yeah this thread is kinda synonymous to quest for complimentary comments and reviews bout how hands on and great Nigerian dads are too just like our super dad Jeremy.




You're kidding right?? Buhahahaha .. sisi oh abeg


Give us some credit Abeg. I mean Ex. who pays for their kids university tuition whole nine yards without student loans plus free accommodation on top ?? Naija I hail thee oh.

Erm ... Sisi time to make up with the dude Abeg, it's getting hairy in here btw you three ops sorry two .

Lmao! Is it not someone who you are fighting with you have to make up with?

Nah! It ain't fighting, sometimes people need to get things off their chest and dude has obviously been waiting for the opportunity and far be it from me to get in the way of that.

The only thing I am angry about is the fact that I gotta go eat crow on the politics section. I used to think those guys were high-strung but spending time on the family section...mehn I find myself reaching for a bowl of hot felefele crow.

So about the water thing. . .sometimes water is ice

@ Topic
Rotflmao. ..what the whaaaaa?!!!!

That is NOT a cute sight.

jidegirl12: How?? How does that one take concern us?
Maniac/ merciful less men are not circumscribed to Nigerians only, there are gazillion monsters and maniac dads/ husbands out there in other countries .

I don't want to mention & offend specific tribe ( non-Nigerian) that's a perfect example of world's Douche bags Dads& hubbies.

Besides the Topic asked 'How much time do they spend' and not to outline a Typical efiko 'control experiment' week days/ends routine in Nigerian Homes ( we don't know how they run their business) No?

Maybe I read OP'S post wrong but isn't the entire premise of the thread based on a the fact that many Nigerian men don't spend time with their kids?

If this was a normal phenomenon, I don't think he would have felt the need to open one, neither will he have been touched by the natural act or rather what should be a natural act of a father being so involved on his children's lives.

No one opens a thread about water being wet because it is a given, yes? Ehn Ehn same sitch naa.


When the topic about is about Men in general, I'll talk about the Kenya daddy who has to be reminded to pick up his daughter (Dude knows she's at the center every other Friday. ..it's been like this for a couple of years now oh yet we still gotta call him)....until then amma stick to the topic.

Rotflmao! Tee Veee...Deep Breath son, deep breath.

Gosh! How long have you been waiting to put that out there?!

I hope twas worth the wait. Lmao!!!!!


Moving on. ..Nashville, it is because I have seen the good ones (which are really a handful) and how well they handle it which makes it perplexing that some men think it's beneath them to be fathers to their kids. Like I said I work for an organization where majority of the kids are from African....Nigerian descent and I can count on one hand how many times their dads come to any events. I've seen up close and personal what their disinterest do to these kids.

Nash, my man...I don't hate Nigerian, I just dislike badly behaved Nigerian men and I'm not gonna pat ALL Nigerian men on the head just because....for one thing it does a great disservice to the few. ..very few good ones.

So once again instead of getting haughty about people talking about the badly behaved majority, how's about we find a way to make them the minority?!

On a side note
Will a thread ever be complete if the pipsqueak does not make an appearance? I think not. Lol. ..Eejit!!

Debrief don't let anyone put you on the defensive abeg...there was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with your post. I like that you don't try to sugar-coat nonsense. Thank Goodness the CDC has not listed Bury Our heads in the Sand-ism as a contiguous disease...that or some of us are just immune.

No one is denying there aren't hands on daddies out there...but we all know they aren't the norm. Isn't this same NL we read stories about these men...one can't iron his child's shirt because it's beneath him. Another responds to a question about bathing his own child with a "Is there mother sick?"

Let's even forget the online stuff, one can dismiss as people just making stuff up. Let's focus on real life, how many have attended children's birthdays only to notice the fathers are off on one side doing their stuff...totally disconnected from the whole thing? God help the child that only came with his daddy to an event that calls for parent participation, he is on his own oh. Daddy is "too much" to be seen rough housing with his own child.

This is from experience...I work with an organization that promotes creativity in young adults (Tweens and Teens) and every other month we have some program or the other and these programs are usually put together by the children (acting in plays one of them wrote or shooting a short from a screenplay or presenting a song/poem). I can count how many times some dads made an appearance. I'm sitting there looking at these wonderful, brilliant and talented kids and my head is about to explode in pride and they aren't even mine.

The mothers do try to make it but sometimes we kinda wish they will just stay home because they are too busy trying to keep the other children in check, children they can't leave at home because daddy is too "big" to look after his own kids.

So don't no one try to act like people just feel like typing bad things about Nigerian men. Again there are hands on daddy but they are not the norm. Instead of getting all haughty about how Nigerian men are being represented, how's about YOU the good ones help the bad ones see that there is nothing wrong with being a FATHER in every sense of the word. How's about showing them their joysticks won't automatically drop to the floor (Please keep the details on how you show 'em to yourself ) because they do a little rough and tumble on the living room floor with their children or join their child in a parent-child competition at picnics.

Help them to stop spoiling Y'ALL's GOO...errr... Y'ALLS NAME!!!!!!!!!

Ms_Steph: A guy has challenged u guys nd u dint say a word but when a lady just said her opinion u bounced on her.. U r afraid of ur fellow man but ready to insult a lady smh

I'm still waiting for an answer on this question you conveniently sidestepped.

Sisi_Kill: Hmmm, since the parents of the homosexuals were actually heterosexual, going by your logic...heterosexuals are the ones breeding homosexuals, yes?!

So are we putting heterosexuals on the list of those who shouldn't be allowed to raise children?! I hope so oh or else your entire premise is caca.

Moore Dad Posts Sex Ad On Craigslist, Involves 6-Year-Old Son.



Havonnah Johnson, News 9 & News9.com
NORMAN, Oklahoma -- Police have arrested a Moore father for allegedly allowing a man to handle his young, autistic son while masturbating.

Police say Jonathan Mark Smith listed the ad for MouthAction on Craigslist, and at least one man responded to it. Teddy Dean Davis is accused of showing up at Smith's door back in January, and asking to see the 6-year-old boy.


Police say Smith's children were asleep and his wife was at work at the time. According to the police report, Smith led Davis to the boy's room and allowed him to handle the boy. Court papers allege Smith stayed in the room, watched the molestation happen and pleasured himself.

It's not known how police found out about the alleged molestation.

"It's disturbing to know that something that atrocious can happen and you can pay enough money to get out of jail when a child was hurt. I don't know how autistic the child was but maybe he couldn't speak for himself. Maybe he could but didn't know what was going on," Cynthia Garten of Moore said.

Since the incident the family has moved and rents out their Liberty Drive home, but that doesn't comfort their neighbor who is a new father.

"That absolutely disgusts me. It fills me with a hatred and anger that I have actually never felt before because I have only had a child for four months now and I can't imagine anyone taking advantage of her much less allowing it and almost encouraging it," Michael Kotzun said, who lives across the street.

Officers arrested both Smith and Davis in July. Davis is charged with lewd molestation and indecent proposal to a child. He is out on a $50,000 bond.

Smith is out on bond and is charged with enabling child sexual abuse and lewd molestation.

Both men are scheduled to appear in court on July 26.

m.newson6.com/story.aspx?story=15109566&catId=112042
-------

There's gotta be a mistake in this report. ...the daddy has gotta be gay, the wife must be man and the poor little Autistic boy musta been adopted because no way a man who married a woman and had their own biological child will ever do this.

And if he isn't gay, then we must make allowances for him. Being married to a woman covers a multitude of sins. So a daddy can prostitute his sick son just to get his jollies off, as long as his wife ie a she and the child is biological his, all is well with the world.

Faaaaantastic!!!!!!

ileobatojo: How won't they ask where he is based? When they are hard at work ensuring that they successfully propagate and promote the societal 'standards' and 'expectations' without taking one second to apply any critical thought. They can't appreciate or even attempt to understand anyone with an independent brain that doesn't follow the herd. Bunch'a robots!

dasparrow: You are preaching to the choir. The average Nigerian will never understand that. Nigerians live in a robotic society where everyone is expected to think the same, act the same and have the same destiny and dreams. At the moment, I know several Nigerian women who are married and with kids and who neglected their kids. Yet they expect the children to take care of them once they are old. What an irony!

ow11: You couldn't be more spot on!

This lazy thought process where everything that is different is from hell or should be burnt, killed or insulted is so frustrating. No curiosity to understand why the difference even exists!

Some one on here even suggested that people should only get married if they intend to have kids since the fellow has concluded that marriage should only exist for the purposes of procreation.

https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/41.gif https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/41.gif https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/41.gif

AjanleKoko: Modern women are only mouthed jare.
The really smart women don't have the time to spend on NL postulating.

Hey, hey don't knock the not so smart women who spend time on NL postulating. They perform a service...Someone has to keep sugomus, dodoyos and dadandato men who spend time on NL postulating company, yes?!

Equation Balance.

Ms_Steph: When I watch sum documentaries or shows about homosexuals who raise kids together I just feel its not right cause they are breeding more generations of homosexuals nd hw can a child learn about life when dey are raise by two same intimacy parent.I feel it can cause some psychological problems for the child. What's your opinion on dis?

Hmmm, since the parents of the homosexuals were actually heterosexual, going by your logic...heterosexuals are the ones breeding homosexuals, yes?!

So are we putting heterosexuals on the list of those who shouldn't be allowed to raise children?! I hope so oh or else your entire premise is caca.

oyb: if the parents of these condom advertisers thought the way they did of children as nothing more than bothersome burdens . . . .

there is nothing like the love of a child - unconditional, always forgiving

nothing like coming home after a horrible day at the office to see your kids running out to meet you

those are actually the best times of parenthood, when the kids are too young to drive the car, get pregnant, give you attitude. . .

Awwwwwww

jackbauersballs: My Mum Said I could...

Old but Gold!

Rotflmao! Okay this wins.

You are absolutely right in the sense that the difference in numbers might be negligible. I suppose I should have said there will be a difference in how many people approach their baby making decisions.

And you hit the proverbial nail on the head about the other factors...timing, setting etc. Was reading a thread recently about guys who don't want children. Some guy was actually quite honest about not wanting any and instead of the normal questions you'd expect an intelligent person or someone who has at least two brain cells to ask, he was asked the most asinine question. ...where are you based?

The implication of course is one can't be based in Nigeria and not wanna have kids. Yep, having kids has nothing to do with a person's preparedness. It's about where you are based. If Nigeria has shown it self a safe haven for children, one might be forgiven for thinking that way but it doesn't so what point has been made?!

Sadly this pointless, basal way of thinking does play a huge factor in how some people make the decision to have kids.

Rotflmao! I just put up a thread about the need for condom. Simply put - KIDS ARE A PAIN!!!

@ Topic
I think deep down, if the pressure of meeting societal "standards" and "expectations" where to be lifted, many people won't have children. Somehow, we have been convinced that not having kids makes one selfish....when the truth is, sometimes the opposite is the case and you are saving a child from living a miserable life?

I say people should be honest with themselves, contrary to what we have been told...not everyone is maternal or paternal. If you know you don't have what it takes to be a good, emotional available parent...do the world a favor and pack up shop.

Personally I love it!!

Honestly can't understand why some people are up in arms over it.

Sometimes this parent group sef....does having kids make one lose their sense of humor?

I'm joking oh...not about loving the ad but the humor thing before I get nailed on a stake...not that I think parents are stake nailing, humorless people oh....what I mean...I think I am just gonna sharrup now.

So what y'all think?!

"Protect Yourself" Durex commercial


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiiN_AME1bQ


Another one

French condom commercial: Kids are a pain, use a condom


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gLlBv_SrZw

I'm reading from a teeny tiny phone so please pardon me if somehow I missed it but where exactly did hubby say he is ready for a reconciliation?

In everything you have written, there is no smidgen of him caring if you come or go yet you are asking about reconciliation. Am I missing something here? When did indifference become the new sure fire sign of love?

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Feminist aren't Lesbians?!!!

Whaaaaaaaaa? Since when?!!! Since when?!!!

What the heck am I supposed to do with all the rings I got?! I was gonna kick next month with multiple proposals...

Gah! I had envisioned myself as the first Polygamous Feminist Lesbian (Errr....errr..do they still call it Polygamy when it is a woman doing all the marrying?)

This sucks man! It really sucks!!

I should have gone for a refundable ring....now I have to see if the jewelry hawker on main street remembers me so I can get my money.

Well this is certainly the last time I take everything I read online at face value.


@ Ile
Jeez woman, you haven't updated your bible yet or could it be that the pages from T to whatever is stuck together coz I know for sure that the latest version of the new Bible clearly...CLEARLY states "As a man....errr...woman defendeth in public, so she is" In order words, that you don't think people in same sexxx relationships should burn in heeeeeeeelllll means you gotta be one. Of course it gets dicey when you try to reconcile this with how Jesus Christ put a stop to the persecution of the "LovePeddler" eventhough he isn't errr...you know, so my best advice - Don't.

Ile, For me, what is more alarming than the high rate of the African Criminals is how quickly they learn...after all, the issues OP listed never ever ever happens in Nigeria. ..EVER!

How do they do it...how are they able to discard the childlike innocence that can only be the result of living in a utopian nation like Nigeria to become beasts abroad?!!


Very disturbing.

Well that was a fun read. .. so this is the bottom line, at least according to the Anti Feminist Fighting Ninjas - We respect everyone's rights to have a choice, as long as that choice meets our approval and we like it.

Got it.

On the pay rate issue -

How's there equality if one person is being told they can't do something solely because they are of a certain gender? Some of you Feminists slayer unabashedly admit this happens....certain companies are do not have a conducive environment for women to work (accommodation, transportation etc). Which begs the question. ...what is the argument for?!!

Guess it really doesn't matter that both sides are saying the same thing, the fact that the other side has a buncha women in t, then it must be shut down. Perfect example of equality, yes?

Don't know why some ladies are wasting their time look for proof when all one need do is read this thread. Y'all Anti- feminist kick boxers never face your fellow men who make the same points these women are making but are oh so ready to flex ya muscles to shut a woman down.

Funny lots.

TheMadame: Biola,
I am a woman and I feel pain of aspects of inequality that women face in a mans world,[/b]but then am also a practical person who believes we will get there one day,step by step.

I understand the idealism of some of these young girls,they have points but they are going about it with their heads in the sky.

I am not going to be a rabid feminist and pretend I hate men-NO! And this is because my husband is a lovely man,and I have two sons.

Will I want my daughter to wear a pink or green wedding gown on her wedding day? [b]No,but I would not stop her cause that is her choice.


People need to learn to be tolerant of opposition views.

Hmmmm.

biolabee: Shollypops dear last i checked, its a free world and i or anyone else can like any post at all

biolabee: @ileoba...I can really imagine your glee... quoting the insults to make your day....yes?

She is only treading the same misguided path before you gave yourself some brain n married or settled down

Airforce1: She's pretty..


Hope directors never dey *clears throat*

This is the first thing that came to your mind....about an 11 years old child?!!!!!

I say this with no reproach just concern....for the little girls around you, please seek help. You are clearly very very disturbed.