What the wha....!!!

Having strangers help you stalk your girlfriend is now the new "Loving and Caring"?

Okay naa!!!

damiso:

Issues like jazz and being stingy
The jazz bit like TV said is less common these days with more and exposure.As for stingy they are just very good money managers and tend to be quite strict with budgeting.I see that alot in my mum and my husband and they rarely ever fall into financial difficulties. They don't spend impulsively and I have one kain confidence that my hubby always has something somewhere no matter how much he says he is skint. Despite that you can't find people who like the finer things of life as much as them.

Rotflmao! True Dat!!!!

otipoju: Awon Iya Elewedu ,adura yin ti gba.

Is Yobo gonna be Escorbar-ed?

greatgod2012: According to nigerians, or let me say yorubas, where i'm from, this man has been given "vegetables" to eat...............won ti gbe efo fun je.

I just hope we know the meaning.................

Funny enough, those who you think are more and better enlightened and social still believes that something is wrong with any man who can go to this extent in taking care of his family as well as helping his wife at home. From experience, my own sister called me in confidence to ask me to confess to her the charm i used on my husband, just because he met him losing my hair and after that losing our daughter's hair after which he took her to the salon.................she actually said it in our dialect, "even, if you won't confess to me, saaa ba mi wa iru efo ti o se f'oko e, ki emi naa see f'oko mi" meaning even if you won't confess to me, just help me to find the type of vegetable you prepared for your hubby, in order for her to also prepare it for her hubby and i told her "iwa l'oba awure" meaning good character surpass charm, and she said, maa tan're e, meaning, keep deceiving yourself.
Can we see.......

Rotflmao @ won ti gbe efo fun je

That or they will say they have exchanged his head (Please translate in Yoruba, it is sweeter)

xynerise: I do more than this

Bravo!

taryour: Awwww this is so so cute, how I want a girl next. God bless all fathers that adore their children and care for them, God bless my husband over and over and over again.

Amen and Amen!!!!!

steph7: Bless his soul, the sad reality of things is that most men will see this act as emasculating.

I'll never get why...I mean WHY?!!!

Would pay anything for an answer.

"I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal". . .Says Doyin Richards whose picture depicting him brushing his daughter's hair has caused an internet stir

Backstory

A father of two Doyin Richards (pronounced Doe-ween), 39, is currently taking a paternity leave of absence from his job in learning development to care for his daughters, ages 6 months and 2 years. He described the incident on his blog.

"One morning, [my wife] was running late for work and was worried that she wouldn't be able to get [my daughter's] hair done before I had to take her to school. I told her that she could leave and I'd handle it. She countered by saying that doing her hair requires attention and the baby would get upset if I left her alone while I played the role of stylist.

Again, I told her that I'd handle it. On the way out she said, 'I'll believe it when I see it.'" Still determined, Richards placed his infant into her carrier and "worked my hair magic." He also set up his camera, enabled its 10-second timer, and snapped a photo to prove to his wife that he could handle the job."

So Dude posts the picture online and it goes viral....many of the comments were positive but what baffled Doyin (and has always baffled many of us) is the downright nasty comments made about men who are ACTIVELY involved in their children's lives....most of them from other man?!! Why is it so wrong for a man to braid his daughter's hair? Bath is his son? Cook for his children? Take them out alone without mom?

WHY?!!

Doyin Richards Dreams

"I have a dream that insecure dads will spend less time hating on good dads and more time on getting their own shit together"

"I have a dream that people will view a man’s love for fatherhood for what it is instead of thinking there’s something “fishy” going on.

Me too Bro! Meeeee tooo!!!

To all the wonderful daddies out there - GOD BLESS YOU!!!

Read More HERE

I'm still stumped at the part where thinking having a child with a crazy woman will change her.

If you have little regard for your own life, that's your prerogative but please don't not bring a child into your mess.

Saw an episode of a crime show (shut up Coogar) where the wife threw their baby down a flight of stairs just because she was mad at her husband. Her Psychologist said she wasn't trying to hurt the child but because her anger overrides any form of control she has, she threw the thing closest to her and it just happened to be their 16 month old....Poor child is now brain damaged.

I'm sure he too thought having a child will change his wife.

tpia@:

Are you sure you read his posts well or you're being carried away because he was applauded ( nicest explanation)?
Just asking, since this is how people get scammed.
Explain how the friend's wife has a personality problem but the friends who want to run his life don't.
When "friends" are vying with a man's wife and kids for his attention (ie his money), what would a reasonable man do?

Errr... I don't know which post you are referencing oh but this is the one I am talking about.

We were once having a drink together with some other chaps and we talked about him changing his car as we know he could afford a better car. The guy agreed and said he also wanted to buy a better car but his wife does not want him to change his car. He had earlier told us the same about the school the children go to. It was soooo far from where they lived and he had to drive several miles to get there. When he asked him why all the long journey, he said that was what his wife wanted.

Her husband wants to buy another car, they can afford the car so why not?

The Children's school is far, husband wants to change schools because he is tired of doing Israelite's journey everyday....she refuses. Why on earth would anyone want to make life difficult for someone they claim they love if they don't have a personality problem?!!

I'll always applaud anyone....Man or woman who preaches mutual respect. It doesn't take a million others applauding for me see who makes sense and who doesn't.

@ Nashville
Great Posts!!!!


You and Debosky ought to get together and write a "How to be a THINKING (not thoughtful oh even though y'all are ) Man! Manual


Just gotta point out one teeny tiny itty bitty thing. . .being a nasty selfish, self-centered unyielding woman has nothing to do with equality. Your friend's wife has a personality problem and I am sure she will act the same way no matter what kinda relationship she is in.

Maybe you are just shy around the opposite sex because you don't know what to say to or handle yourself around them in the context of a relationship that goes beyond friendship.

Maybe you are comfortable around guys like you because you know there isn't any expectations beyond friendship.

Except you have a strong desire to jump one of your male friends bones and you aren't telling us, I'd say you are fine.

*Scratching head*

Errrrr......Ooookay.

ileobatojo: Liberal Feminism First published Thu Oct 18, 2007;
substantive revision Mon Sep 30, 2013

Liberals hold that freedom is a fundamental value, and that the just state ensures freedom for individuals. Liberal feminists share this view, and insist on freedom for women.

There is disagreement among liberals about what freedom means, and thus liberal feminism takes more than one form. This entry discusses two basic kinds of liberal feminism. Part one discusses what, in the philosophical literature, is commonly called simply ‘liberal feminism.’

Liberal feminism conceives of freedom as personal autonomy—living a life of one's own choosing—and political autonomy—being co-author of the conditions under which one lives.

Part two discusses what is commonly called ‘classical-liberal feminism,’ or sometimes ‘libertarian feminism’ (these terms will be used interchangeably here).[1] Classical-liberal or libertarian feminism conceives of freedom as freedom from coercive interference. While liberal feminism is established in academic philosophy, much of the classical-liberal or libertarian feminist literature is oriented towards a more popular audience. http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/feminism-liberal/

 

Thank you!!!!!    

sapiosexual: One of the reasons so many women say "I'm not a feminist but..." (And then put forward a feminist position), is that in addition to being stereotyped as man-hating Amazons, feminists have also been cast as antifamily and antimotherhood.

 
And thank you too!!!!!    

Don't understand why OP and his friends are determined to use the extreme cases as examples of what Feminism stands for. It's on par with someone using the church that drills holes into little "witch" children's heads because the bible says not to be kind to them....as a shinning example of Christianity.    

What part of Feminism is about the freedom of choice is hard to comprehend?  Like I stated earlier. ....the debate is moot if one doesn't even understand the very basics of what is being debated.  

The long and short of this is.....We know what we are, what we stand for and we are comfortable with and that's all that really matters.  Although i suspect OP and his friends know this too  (not that we care) they are just too stubborn to admit it (their prerogative)    

Don't know about y'all oh but I am  not gonna start the New year.banging my head on the wall, so this is it for me on this thread. If OP wants to continue to believe Feminists are man eating banshees, then I this is all I have to say to him ~ Be Afraid, Be very afraid!!!!!!  

Happy New Year All!!!!

On a side note....can someone explain to me the logic in deliberately taking the opposing side of a debate just because you don't like the person arguing other point of view?

Roflmao!!

Oy veh!

I'll post the quotes mentioned above when I get to a PC.

Dantedasz:
Why not open a thread about it instead of trying to derail this one.
.

Why am I not surprised you missed the point....which was every movement has its extremes. The guy who coined the word Masculism is a touted as a leading on fighting for men's rights yet as sure as I am that the sky is blue is how sure I am you and many others don't agree with all of his views. Even Christianity and islam have their extremists lead by notable people........does that mean the moderate should be ignored?

For every quotes supposedly uttered by "Feminist" that has been posted there are quotes from men who also don't think much about the institution of marriage too. Why do they get to express theirs and not get called out? Do their quotes carry less weight because they are men? As a feminist who believes equal rights and freedom for all, I find that extremely sexist.

I am all for every group looking out for their own best interests but not at the detriment of another. Can't a man be a man without the subjugation of women.

@ Topic
Letty Cottin Pogrebin - Co founder of Ms Magazine and one of the leading authority on Feminism.

Hilary Clinton

Michelle Obama

I would include Nigerian women....if I knew any. Unfortunately they don't get as much press as their foreign counterparts because they are from a place where many still believe a woman should be barely seen and never heard.

Dinachi and co....From your postings on this thread, it is safe to conclude you guys are anti-feminist, yes?

May I ask a huge favor....please go read up on Masculism and the Masculist Movement. I'd love to read your thoughts on it.

Did this story come before or after the one where NE's ever reliable and unnameable sources spotted Elvis aboard the mothership partying with Jimi Hendrix and Ray Charles?

I say.....does anyone know where them 3 will be ringing in the New Year....Pluto or Saturn or did NE's ever present fly on the wall sources not say?

This was from an old post on the same subject....


From the responses here, it is obvious many people have no clue what feminism is all about.

Thinking it is about men is the first mistake. Believing they hate men is the second. It is about standing against things, issues that makes women feel less of a human being.

It's about giving women choices and letting them make their own decisions. In the past and somewhat in the present, men have been the rule keepers and that's why it seems women are fighting men but if it were something else...An Alien from outta space in charge women would still fight with the same vigor.

If a woman choses to go into a polygamous relationship, that's her prerogative. If women are forced into polygamy, then feminist movement stands up against that.

If a woman wants to cover her head, walk ten steps behind her man and talk to him in her knees because she wants to, that's her choice but if a woman is being forced to do all that for no reason but because she is a woman, the feminists movement comes in

Again, Feminism is about fighting for a woman's God given right to make her own choices. That it's being basterdized and given qualities not in line with what it really is by people who are intent on rubbishing it is sad but what's sadder is women who take the bastardized version and ran with it. It's one thing for men not to educate themselves on what it truly means (it doesn't really affect them), it's quite another for a woman to just follow suit...regurgitating the crap being fed to them by men.

Feminism isn't about intimate orientation, it's not about always being on the opposing end of an argument just because the other person is a man. It's not about wanting to be a man. It's simply about being allowed to direct your own life. Why this is such an affront to some men has always baffled me.

How does one compose the next great song if they know nothing about the basics of DO RE MI?

Can one write a novel without learning ABC?

No and No.

So how then can we discuss feminism when many have no effing clue what it is all about?

It's no big secret that there has been a very calculated effort to ascribe the bastardize definition to Feminism (I.e women hating men and wanting to have their balls as squeeze toys) in order to rubbish it.

No woman who has brothers, uncles, sons, father etc will hate ALL men. Some may hate a certain type of man, which is only natural after all people can't like everything under the sun. To now say because they do, they are man haters is quite frankly an extremely idiotic conclusion. I don't like oranges, does that make me anti fruit?

Any woman who thinks women should be treated like a human being with a fully functioning brain is a feminist and that friends is the simplest definition of Feminism. All these women want is to be given the chance to make their choices and stop being treated like an inferior being.

Anyone (man AND woman)'who has a problem with this......has serious issues and it is of their own making not Feminism's, so stop blaming the movement and go seek the psychological help you desperately need. (I'd start with the How to Build my self esteem, believe in my own worth and stop feeling threatened self help books if I were one of y' all)

whenever women in our African Student Congress would question the behavior and attitudes of men, I would scream, “We don’t have time for them damn lesbian issues!”

Some things don't change.

How does one stick to a relationship that won't "amount to nothing" for 5 years?!!

I think it is safe to say your friend is the one with the issue here and sooner she sought help for it the better (for her).

mogbomoya: Hello House,

2014 is round the corner, and the purpose of this tread is to share easy tips on how a working mother can survive without a house help in the YEAR 2014. (This is specially for Nigerian Working Mothers/Women. Mothers abroad pls share ur survival tips as u guys are used to DIY.)

Some say house helps are necessary evils. I had my first help in January 2013 and this year alone I have had 3 househelps! (The first was a thief, the second was so lazy & rude, the third had eye for my hubby and eventually got pregnant for our gate man). I got fed up and I have lived without them since September 2013. I am happy I do not have a stranger living with me.

I have a 17 months Son, and I am currently 3 months pregnant. The following tips will help anyone who decides to join me to say no to househelps in 2014.

1. You must get ur spouse involved. This is the most important o.
2. Get a washing machine. This is a saving grace cos my toddler can wear 5 different outfits in a day!
3. Get a deep freezer. This helps me to cook in bulk and store.
4. Ensure you have a generator that can power you freezer. (You do not want ur stored food getting defrosted and going stale cos of the erratic power supply in Nigeria.
5. Shop in bulk and store. In case you don't have time to shop, there are various online grocery shops. I love Madam Sabi. www.madamsabi.com You can also get ur office assistants/cleaners to help with ur shopping. For me, hubby does the toiletries and necessary provisions shopping (He buys from any supermarket, pack & shop/Shoprite/ebe ano), while I do the vegetables and meat.
6. Plan ur meals at the beginning of each week. I have a timetable.
7. If you have a toddler, get a Creche that closes 7pm around ur home, so that in case you are stuck in traffic, ur mind is at ease knowing fully well that ur kid is in safe hands. My baby's creche closes by 7pm, and in case my hubby/myself can't make it before 7pm. They take him home and I pick him from there. They also bath and fed my baby dinner and dress him in his night wear, so I just pick and put him to sleep in his play pen, while I make dinner. I take to bed when he eventually falls asleep in his playpen.
8. If you have older kids, get an after school facility, most creches offer this service. They bath, feed ur kids and help out with their assignment. They even help make ur female kids hair.
9. While doing house chores/cooking, my hubby baby sits our son.
10. Have a night schedule / specific bed time for ur children. My son sleeps by 7.30/8pm. so I have 2 hours to fix a quick dinner, have my bath, have dinner with hubby and watch TV.
11. Go for first service on Sundays. i.e if u are a xtian. I attend 7.30am service. Am back home before 10am, and have time to do loads of stuffs.
12. I use my Sundays to plan out all our cloths and shoes for the week. (Myself & son)
13. Get at least one good wig. For those sundays you are unable or too tired to make it to the salon.
14. Get ur hubby to help paint ur toe nails and do ur pedicure. Not only does it save u time, but also a bonding time for you both.
15. My hubby helps with the ironing and washing the toilets & bath.
16. Do not stack up ur dirty plates & pot. Try as much as possible to wash as u cook.
17. Get nice cartoons and sing along for ur kids. This keeps my son busy in his play pen / high seat while am busy with cooking/house chores. (In case hubby isn't around to baby sit.)
18. You do not have to attend / honor all weekend party invitations! I bet most don't even notice u are absent.
19. Hubby baths our son every morning. While I pack our breakfast/lunch boxes.
20. If u have an uncooperative hubby, pray to God and talk to ur hubby.

House, abeg add more tips.

Nice tips!!!!

I have just one itty bitty concern....you say the creche people take your kids home with them when you are running late. May I ask if these people were friends or relatives? I'm sorry I don't want to be a downer but if they aren't....what is the difference between having someone you are paying to help you at home and these people?

What kind of environment is their home? What type of people does your child interact with around he is with them? How do the get him to their house? Do they take public transport? How careful are they when they are in these transports? Do they walk him home? How are they on the roads? Do they drive? Have you ever been in a car driven by them? Do you know if they are careful drivers? Do they take him along if they have other errands to run? What kind of food do they give him at home? Do you know how it is prepared?!! If God forbid he is falls ill, do you know what kind of meds they give him?

That these people work in a creche does not mean your son is okay with them in their own home. The creche is a controlled environment, there are other people there who can raise alarm is someone is maltreating your son. There are rules and regulations they have to adhere to in the daycare center, the purpose of the daycare center is to provide a SAFE ENVIRONMENT for your son and if they are found wanting, you have the right to take action. A person in their own home is not obligated to take the same measures or act by the same standards.

You are already doing an amazing job juggling work and home but please rethink this having your child go home with his creche people part of it. I know it's God who watches our kids but it doesn't mean we should take chances.

Best of luck!!!

chaircover: My thoughts on Money!!

Some people feel that the man should do everything/must do certain things. . I think NO NO NO! . . . There is nothing stopping you from doing it if you have the funds. You are a team and you are one and so it doesn’t matter if you tie the wrapper round the bum or the bum round the wrapper, so long as the bum isn’t exposed.

It doesn’t matter who pays for what. Don’t wait for the man to give you money for foodstuffs before you buy some. If you have a project that you are both working on and you have money and you have heard him talk about paying the painter or the electrician, then bring the money and just put it into his account. If you see him struggling with something, don’t wait until he comes to ask you or he starts talking and talking about it before you offer to do it. You are one. If the school fees are due and you know that he has his hands full with other things, then there is nothing stopping you from paying them. They are your children too.

A man respects and appreciates a woman he knows that has his back. He knows that he can rely on her. He rests easy knowing that his children are in safe hands. He knows that there is someone out there who is on his side no matter what. Under all this macho macho are men who too crave to have a soulmate and someone there for them no matter what.

. . . .And when you do help, please don’t rub it in his face, or automatically expect him to start washing the dishes and pounding yam if it isn’t something that he has been doing before. Be patient, he may show his appreciation in other ways.

Thank you for post!!!!!!!

I just want to add that it shouldn't be about "helping"...it's our house, the upkeep is our responsibility. If we all saw it that way there will be no room to rub anything into anyone's face. I mean would I pat myself on the back for paying my bills? Would one mock themselves for being the one who buys the grocery they eat? Of course not!!

Lovely thread by the way!!!! Great contribution from all


@PocketEconomist
I don't think it's right to mock your cousin just because he is not acting in the manner you think a man ought to be. He is happy, his wife is happy and his child is happy. If putting an apron on and shoving biscuits and croissants in the oven is what makes his home a happy one...so be it.

She is so pretty...it's unreal!!

Yep, You know it's all going to hell in a hand basket when Satire is as close as the real world!!!

Seriously, How many people can say truthfully that they don't think this can happen?!!

Not sure where to post this or what to even title it sef but I just had to share.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9DOxH5RyWQ



The the title on one of the many sites this video was posted was - How one leopard changed its spots ... and saved a baby baboon

I tell ya, I am starting to believe we really can learn a lot from Animals.

Awww Osisi....Wishing your dad the speediest recovery.

It shall be well with him in Jesus name!!!

Amen!!

SMDH!!!

Awww! Pastor is trying to make note of the ladies he has to bestow his "Special Grace" on.

How Nice!

mitey:

Really??

Well here are some reasons:
1. The people in the video you showed are actually fully clothed under the tissue paper
2. Her ribbon/hair band whatever is made of tissue paper
2. We(men) do NOT attend bridal showers??

The People in the video are fully clothed....he says like there is a standard rule about how one must dress to a bridal shower. Let's ignore the fact that the people in the video could have dressed for the weather, one only has to look closely at Toke's Picture to see she's wear a brown strapless dress.

Her Ribbon/Hair band is made of tissue....he asks after being informed that the object of the game is to design a wedding dress.

Men don't attend Bridal Shower...which is why it would have been best to hold off the judgmental tsk tsk, don't you think?!

Giving all that, I have ask - What....what exactly is the point this head scratching post trying to make?!!

Why is this a "Should" Question?!!!!!