₦airaland Forum

Outstrip:
If you confront the man he will lie about it. You just have to get more evidence somehow. You also have to let your maid understand that you are solidly behind her. That will give her the confidence to tell the man to respect his old age the next time he tries to touch her

i agree.

^^^^

Exactly.


there are many kids who were not beaten but still have no sense of respect for their parents

Hello, Champie . didnt see you earlier forgot my glasses


[quote author=Busy_body link=topic=249630.msg6284834#msg6284834 date=1277524508]See oppression, oyinbo no go finish for thread Not to worry, just you wait till i finish the "eze goes to school" i've been reading for the past 7 years, just 3 chapters to go, and i will be on this thread too denge-posing and denge-dazzling with my command of English lingua franca, you will see, you shall seehttps://emoticons4u.com/sad/1361.gif[/quote] . you dis woman

[quote author=African_queen link=topic=475925.msg6357548#msg6357548 date=1278685471]Try it, its fun. . . She'll never want to hide anything from you[/quote]lai lai. she will still do. there are certain things you tell your friend that you wouldnt tell your mom and vice versa.

bawomolo:
is beatings the most effective way to instill respect.

no it is not. but its still a method of discipline many use

what happens when the child becomes immune to the beatings?

thats why using one method of disciple is wrong. use "time-out" as your method they will also get use to it

when do the beatings stop, when the child is 10,15,20? beatings lose their effectiveness pretty fast hence the reasons lots of Nigerians have bad relationships with their fathers.

many things factor in that reason(s) why many have bad relationships with their fathers. beating is not the sole reason abuse is. there is a difference between using flogging as a disciplinary action and using flogging as a method of abuse.

nawtiichic:
when i was 13 my dad walked in on me self-servicing lol! it was soo mortifying! i couldnt face him for weeks!! it really messed things up coz at some point he thought everytime i went out, i was out sleeping with men

i cant imagine the embarrassment!

sex ed talk. the "talk"

happi Bday to her

na the same group abi na their relative cousins"statisticians" who also came-up with some random numbers on how women now smoke more than men in nigeria without providing any criterion on which the "research"  was carried-out


what criterion was used in determining this random-hard to swallow numbers?

was this Psychiatrist the only person involved in this out of blue study?

how many people did he sample out of the 150million+ people? only his patients?

i am sanely [/i]finding this numbers ridiculously-ridiculously[i] insane

oisehumen:
Am sure the 70% also includes the Psychiatrist who made this research

lmao

LWKMD!!!

omo, see angry people gathered in one place

jeezz the post was meant 'obviously' for dog lovers' not dog eaters


chei, my gawd have double merci. wahala dey o

where are you?

[quote author=African_queen link=topic=475925.msg6355285#msg6355285 date=1278660519]Be best friends to your daughter. . . She'll open up[/quote]i PREFER close-net mother-daughter relationship.

let her go out there and have best friends

dont really buy into all those "my mom is my best friend", "my daughter and I, were/are best friends" phrases

Outstrip:
LOL. It's probably true

30-45 maybe? yes

but a whooping 70%?

https://forum.thescubasite.com/confused/confused0052.gif  hard sell

Siena:
Yes, I would support this law, if it was passed, and enforced.

Beating children does not make children respect their parents. It'll end up making them despise them, and in time, they'll become immune to beatings, and just play up regardless.

Where does beating stop? How far should a parent go, and what would be termed as "excessive beating"?

i disagree. not in all "cases". IMO, that would only apply in cases of abuse in this setting (cane/beating abuse)

smartmom,

she meant natural birth without pain relief of any kind

smartmom:
Think of the fact that with natural birth, no fears of any complication later in life for mother and child. Besides, the pain no matter how great is still temporary.

sashaa


have you tried gaining weight? i mean, put effort into it?

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=474319.msg6351489#msg6351489 date=1278601673]Ask the Yoruba man to knock you up - your father will relax.
I dunno why women rely on their father's choice when marriage knocks the door.
Why you nor marry your father then? Your father is old, he would soon leave the planet and it will be you and yourself alone when he leaves.
If you truly love this Yoruba fella, go for him.[/quote]because most women esp those from a "normal" home would want a husband just like their father

amarilo:
After reporting me to police or whoever he will come home or the police will adopt him/her. Fashola should start building homes for those kinda children.

abi oo

Divorce(with a good reason) and courtship is not immoral in my "book of morals"

i dont believe all this random numbers this people make up in their minds

i will have a 'mother-daughter' talk with her if i haven't already

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=475305.msg6348570#msg6348570 date=1278569010]Lol, you dey take idea to know the limits of the law so you can drive straight to the village with your daughter upon returning to Naija. I no blame you, alagbon no be better place.  The law go reach village by next year o.  [/quote]LWKMD!!!

Emeka you no well i tellya

i dont need any yeye non-enforceable law to tell me how to handle her.

what about those children in rural areas?

this law only makes sense in the paper

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=475305.msg6348019#msg6348019 date=1278547765]No you are rather indebted to her by law because she wasn't in your bedroom during her formation. Nobody put a gun in your head to bring her into the world so by right, you should shelter and feed her until she is of age.[/quote]it also by this same right you are implying here, that i have to disciple her. i have a responsibility towards her morally and otherwise to raise her to the best of my ability.


i cant just provide/shelter her and then let her to go disciple herself or let someone else do that for me.

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=475305.msg6348000#msg6348000 date=1278547181]This is like a soldier decorating himself with the rank of a general because he thinks he deserves it. [/quote]deserve ke? far from it. i guess its ok for me to also choose not to provide/shelter her because i certainly also dont have any right over her? Emeka,im yet to see any parent who needs especially "duty orders" or certification for him/her to disciple her own child ?

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=475305.msg6347976#msg6347976 date=1278546553]I don't know who gave you those duties?.[/quote]do i really need to tell you that? its my duty to discipline her, just as it also my duty to provide, protect and love her among others things

Again, how sure are you that you are well and able to discipline your child?. Are you equipped or certified to handle children with ADD/ADHD?

Lol. i know i am able because i am able.

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=475305.msg6347881#msg6347881 date=1278545162]Murder ke?. He didn't murder them, he was trying to teach them a lesson and a bitter one at that.[/quote]lets assume that was the case( trying to teach them a lesson)which is not but for the case of this), that is the extreme of the extreme cases. so you cant compare it to normal disciplines


[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=475305.msg6347892#msg6347892 date=1278545305]Yes, call the family court to help you evaluate your kids. Some of them have ADD/ADHD without your knowledge. Look at the products of flogging, spanking and kicking in Nigeria, what did we benefit from it apart from the pains?. Other products of that abuse are 419, looting, armed robbery, ashewo, etc. Compare the rate of these vices with the ones in the Western world.[/quote]you cant attribute flogging to those "careers" thats the result of poverty. lets ok assume that was the case, what about those who were also flogged but didnt become any of those?

i cant call some family thing, when i am well and able to discipline my child ADD or not. disciplining my daughter is one of my duties as a mom and parent. for how long will i keep calling some center when she misbehaves? and what i will be doing then? taking orders from some people in some center on how to properly disciple my own daughter?