₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=475305.msg6347831#msg6347831 date=1278544479]The truth is that there are many children who are not more under the tutelage of their biological parents in Nigeria because of the proliferation of divorce. Divorce rates are too high in Nigeria today especially in Yorubaland and many kids find themselves under the care of step parents who turns around to abuse them physically, verbally or sexually. Trust me, there is a difference between the way you will discipline your daughter and the way a step dad/mom will discipline her. Why do you think there are so many paedophiles in police net today in Nigeria?[/quote]are you insinuating that spanking,beating, flogging etc be done away with in our society?

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=475305.msg6347772#msg6347772 date=1278543752]If the child disobeys you, call the Lagos state family court who can place him/her to psych evaluation and determine how best to help the child. This is 2010 and not 1920. Disobedience is not an emergency and can wait till monday when the family court opens.[/quote]Emeka c'mom, if my daughter disobeys me instead of me, her mother and parent to disciple her i will call some center to evaluate her for me?


for where? lai lai

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=475305.msg6347715#msg6347715 date=1278543121]Why are we always pessimistic?. What are the constraints of this law anyway?. It's not as if it is a rocket science project.[/quote]i dont think its a case/issue of being pessimistic but realistic. its just our society.

will there be an exception i.e in cases where a child refuses to do something the parents ask him/her  to do and disciples him/her for disobeying her/him?

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=475305.msg6347662#msg6347662 date=1278542544][size=16pt]YES WE ARE; YES WE CAN!!!!!!!!!!![/size]


Say NO to the abuse of children from their supposedly loved ones.[/quote]we "can" but not "yet"

[quote author=Ileke-IdI link=topic=475305.msg6347628#msg6347628 date=1278541963]I think it'll gradually spread to "Anybody" who flogs/"abuse" a child. I'm assuming that the parents are being tackled because they're responsible for their children.

The child/ren can report "abuse" to their teachers or neighbors. But it's such an irony because the teachers/neighbors are child beaters themselves. So I dont think this whole law thing will work.

Another assumption: This new law is an effect, prolly from the mother that accidentally killed her baby when she spanked her. So sad.

Sissy, do you support this?


Nothing happened, not what you think [/quote]personally, i think they should more interested in creating strict laws against child molestation. while i dont wholeheartedly support this "law", i do agree however, that some children are abused physically in the hands of their parents and otherwise.

it will be hard to define that line between normal discipline and abuse when it comes to flogging, therefore IMO, this law is only effective on the papers that its written in.

it will be interesting to see that child that will have the gut to report his/her parents for flogging him/her

ok dear, thought it was the 3 words thing that happened

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=475305.msg6347621#msg6347621 date=1278541892]Call 999 from their cell phone whenever they are subject to abuse. the proliferation of paedophilia in Nigeria calls for such laws to be established. If kids have direct access to the police, many paedophiles would have been nipped from the bud long time ago. Denial will lead us no where.[/quote]999 ke? i doubt this law will effectively be enforced. we are certainly not yet cut out for this "kind of law"

oh ok.

still want to know what they will do with teachers,uncle and aunties who flog kids because its not only parents who raise their kids

and how they plan to enforce this "law". will the child/ren have access to the police?



@ Ebony

wetin happen

light red

^^^^^

there is always adoption. so its not as if abortion is the only way out

will teachers also go to jail for flogging their students?

at this "over his dead body" level

two options awaits you


obey or disobey



goodluck with any of the above options you choose

if "over his dead body" language wasnt involve a third option would have been hard-work convincing and re-convincing

Ilelobola:
I certainly wouldn’t recommend natural childbirth.

i would still choose natural any-day,anytime. elective CS is a no no for me.

unequivocally no on abortion


i will have the baby if he marries me or not.

who do you advice/tell your kid to go to if she mistakenly goes missing while with you in the mall/market or any other crowed place/event?

MRbrownJAY:
- were you virgin when you met her?!

i want to know to.

more reason why, certain personal issues should be kept in the cupboard as long as it doesnt/wouldnt disrupt the function of the marriage/relationshipi in the present/future

mutter:
People have different views on abortion and everyone's view has to be respected. I am against abortion and I would not be assisting or escorting anyone to do an abortion. That simply has to be respected by your friend too. 
You even went against your own wishes by supporting her even though reluctantly
I cannot condemn you for discussing this with a third friend. I mean the truth is that most people tend not to be very good at keeping secrets. Anyway it is possible your mutual friend knew about it already.
It has happened so you need to pick up the pieces from there.

its not discussing, its gossiping and breaking the trust her friend might have had in her. what exactly did she intend to gain by gossiping about it to her? her friend knew that third friend was there and would have told her if she wanted her to find about it but for whiteroses to gossip about it to her is wrong.  even if she cant keep an ordinary secret knowing how sensitive the issue of abortion is should have given her the idea/manner to respect her friends privacy and choice.

SSaemoenl:
Doing what, ? maybe in your area. I still stand on my word, that we have to eradicate that ugly system, by using clean material in the hse not in the public.

And 2morrow you will inform us that carrying loads on your head is as well our culture, where as we dont want to embrace a new life. Change is what we are in!

do tell us whats next to "eradicate" in-order to embrace the next chapter of "new life" in your "white mans manual of advanced living"

new pics of her shows no end in sight


[img]http://4.bp..com/_u3lFqBksmrE/TCnihasjLJI/AAAAAAAAfdo/BqRhSTUr7kw/s1600/article-0-0A3FEFFB000005DC-823_468x594.jpg[/img]


[img]http://1.bp..com/_u3lFqBksmrE/TCnkR42eJ7I/AAAAAAAAfd4/lTJVDgjQwfk/s1600/article-1290449-0A3FF003000005DC-361_224x423.jpg [/img]

Chaircover and Chika are right. what you did was wrong, so is also your friend. what she needed was a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on in-order to get through the horrible thing she did and not a judge in a disguise as a friend. like Chika said, try to amend with her

[quote author=Miss_Ife link=topic=472846.msg6328942#msg6328942 date=1278220014]@Ohsisi : [b]Your post is quite judgmental and prejudiced towards western women. [/b]I went to Nigeria, didn't have generator nor A/C, washed myself with a bucket in common bathrooms (yes the one all people from the same floor use), used okada to go around, ate local food bought on the street, and hand washed our clothes in a bucket. Many of other "western wives" I know did the same and in most cases, they were more than happy to live a simple life, but nigerian husbands are the ones who feel pressure and want to impress with their "oyinbo wives". My husband almost had a heart attack when I told him I wanted to take bus and okada, but it was fine with me. There's no A/C in my country, as a student I cooked for years on a kerosene stove and so on, so please, not all western ladies grew up in a mansion with 24/7 comfort [/quote]dont really think, its just the hard raw truth in many cases

0hsisi:
Nigerians that marry these foreign wives really do have a burden on their hands
You have to constantly explain and re-explain yourself
Give ample notices,excuses and answer a million whys
It must be very tiring
I can't imagine a husband always explaining what a particular food is called,the ingredients,translate not only his local language but pidgin English too.
It's hard enough to marry from another tribe where the spouse doesn't understand the language but at least the Nigerian experience and expectation is very similar.
If I go village or anywhere in Naija with my oga and the generator is broken down,I will happily use lamps at night,happily draw water from a "drum" with bucket,bathe out of the bucket and happily pour a bucket of water into the toilet to flush.
But these our men have to bend over backwards to cater to the comfort of these their foreign wives.
God forbid the generator breaks down.
He may start apologizing and may be forced to fan the woman all night while she complains of how hot the place is
If the gas cylinder is empty suddenly, how will she cook with a kerosene stove or firewood sef if need be?
These men dey try o
If I be man,I no fit carry that kain load ,marriage is hard enough

LOL

funny but true

maybe you should try the education section, you will get more helpful response there as many others are probably in the same boat as you

your mom simply dont like a girl not because of her person but simply because shes is omo pupa and your pastor have already analysed your future and have foreseen the yet unforeseeable?

it seems you have already let others make the choice for you, please it will be very kind of you to compensate the girl of all the hard works she has diligently done for you before you let her off with some silly excuses

thats nasty ewwwww

shotster50:
Well at least she did not put it in her mouth lmao

luap:
Interesting to read everyone's view of the NL men.  Seems the overwhelming response is that your men cheat no matter what.

I think it is sad that you actually believe in this stereotyped view of your men.  You must think of them as lacking integrity and commitment to their families.  You look at them as being weak.  Even the men posted the same view.  It is really pitiful that[b] you perceive your own men in this way. 
[/b]
If I were a woman from NL I would not even consider a LTR in a culture where the men are predispostioned to cheat and damage their own families.

Just plain pitiful.

It's a free country so go ahead and think of yourselve this way.

the question was addressed to men in GENERAL NOT "OUR MEN" ONLY. its not only "our" men that cheat on their both equally 'beautiful and ugly' wives alike, its in EVERY CULTURE where a man wants to cheat.

sophy09:
@ Leliah

Do the pills you taking have any side effects?

\


why not just visit a family doctor or a family planning clinic and find-out the right option for you?

your best bet is still a IUD cause not every woman is consistent on the pills

i wouldnt suggest using hair removal creams on those areas, if it bothers you too much gently shave it off, or trim it.

whatever method you choose be very gently on that "ball"before you get more than you bargained for.

let them laugh na. at the end of the day, youre the one the sun is beating, the one whos going to suffer the sunburns and loook all melted.


use it if the sun is too much, and you cant stand it (put on a sunglass and off you go) or you get those big hats.

dont forget the suncreen