₦airaland Forum

CAMEROONPRIDE: Why do women always feel the need to tell us what they earn esp when they earn more than their husband? is it a kind of trend on Nl? Anyway your salary has nothing to do with your story, or you are trying to tell us that he doesn't worth you? Anyway sha you know what's the best for u

Nothing wrong with what she said.
You lots are eventually gon ask her what she's contributing to the home hoping to pin the fault on that factor or you say her story is incomplete.She saved herself the trouble.

Now,you get the full picture or are you still waiting for the other side of the story?

Fowl wey shyt wey nor piss..na for hin body e dey..

lmao @ Patience's picture attached to this article.Having Patience MIL character as your MIL is the beggining of woes for you.
...but seriously,i think its an unfair generalization and Nollywood made it worse.Good MILs abound.
It takes a naturally wicked person to become a wicked MIL.There's no sense in making life miserable for somebody whose existence is/would be connected to your son's perpetually.

vanitty: Oh poster put a sock in it. From your write up, you come across as a very insensitive man. You refused to go visit her parents after the initial abuse. Were it to be your parents who abused you, would you do same? Evil deeds because she does not earn a kobo? and oh of course you want custody of your daughter because you were the only one that brought her into this life?! I guess you will also be wanting custody of the foetus as well?! Or is their another sisi oge lurking in the corner?!

Four years into a marriage meaning she got pregnant almost immediately and now she is 7 months pregnant again with a toddler as well and you are complaining she hasn't earned a kobo into the marriage. How will she earn a kobo when she is forever either pregnant or cleaning after her baby.

Mr poster, what exactly do you do or say that makes her insult or abuse you? What was she doing before you got married? Did she leave her job because she married you and had to relocate? How is her pregnancy journey? Did you at any point in time advice her to leave her job? What small scale business do you want her to get into?

Listen poster, life is not a bed of roses and definitely not marriage.

No reasonable person that cares about you will advice you to divorce your wife that has two children (God willing) for you based on those flimsy excuses and you gave without trying all other avenues to make things work out.

It is probably difficult for you being the only breadwinner of the home and obviously you will be frustrated and quite rightly so but divorce is never the first, second even third, fourth option.

^^what he said!

Gboliwe: What exactly is 'behind based'?
no more Justus? Did it die with Justus Esiri the actor? Why would Princess be banned? Not funny.

a-nal.
The rationale behind anyone wanting to name a child that is beyond me though..
...and then there's "lucifer" and "full-stop" in the list too.Crazy people!!

I don't care about the topic of discourse but i'm loving this thread..
Haha!
#siddon look things #

chikeorji123: @Greatgod2012..l really appreciat ur comment anywhere u drop it kindly keep it up my sister..
@Op ..listen what worried me on this ur post is were u said 4yrs ahead b/f u settle down..l can BOLDLY bet it this relationship will crash before that time GOD! 4 goddam yrs?.. any relationship should not exceed 2yrs period.Have u ever thought that someone more serious will come along the line? so she have to wait for u 4yrs not even sure wheather u will marry her at end? oh! GOD more single ladies are adding up.. For age? forget it the most important thing is compartibleness b/w both of u.

Oga Ade,
Do you have to be this tactless?
Haba!!

jeffizy: What's healthy for peter may be arsenate for paul.

Each individual has his/her own manual of how life should be.

Generalising is not right.

^but submissiveness is a quality y'all want in a woman...yes?

jeffizy: @slimyem..
Its more like he ( the guy) is trying to let her become more aware of how much he believes in her.


But when a woman doesnt know her own value, how long will it take for others to see it that way too?

It not something that can go away by waving a magic wand especially if she has been like that for a long time.
If she doesn't know her own value,at least the husband does and she does know his own value too.He is the only one in a position to exploit that weakness and if he truly loves her as much as you say,it is not a problem.

If she's being secure,independent and a no-nonsense person,you'll complain she wants to take over your position as the man or that she's relaxed in her duties as a wife.Now,this one's meek,respectful and submissive(abi isn't this what y'all claim you want in a wife?),you still dey complain.
You men just have too much wahala.Ugh!

I have seen people who are age-mates have beautiful marriages for as long as possible.You shouldn't be worried about age if she fits the profile of the one and if she isn't worried about it too.

The only issue i see is that she might be ready for marriage when you are not yet.Besides,since you think its still four years away,just enjoy the moment

I really don't see any problem here.It might or might not be self exteem.
She reveres her husband and she's cool with it.What does the man want her to do to show she's confident?
Show some arrogance and disrespect him?
Apart from constantly showing,telling and assuring her of how much she is equally loved and appreciated,there isn't much to do here.Stop looking for a problem that's not there.

Seriously though,we need to hear the other sides of the story
Some men are devil's incarnate fronting as saints.

[quote author=tpia@]Seems he is a nler![/quote]

taryour: Now you make me laugh in spanish, you think when a woman begins to cheat on her hubby openly,the next door neighbor wunt get to know about it?? My dear that's were the news begins to spread like wide fire and you start hearing them whisper it even to the woman's hearing. Or do you think kids are so dump they don't know what's going on between their parents. No matter how much a woman trys to hide such dirty act,it will definitely come out openly sooner than she expected it.

Understand that i am not explicitly defending this woman's actions but if this is the angle you are pursuing as a reason not to retailiate on her husband by doing the same thing he is,it can be waved down.
Cheats usually are discreet and except you are a partner looking to catch them or they are doing it close to home,your presumptions are goofy IMO.

taryour: You are there screaming Jeedus!! If it were to happen to you(God forbid) would you have acted like that woman in the story and not consider your children and their future
No offense intended,just a question.

Your absurd analysis of the situation is the reason for my exclamation.You make the whole thing sound like "cheating" is done in public and the whole village gets to know of it the moments it starts.
The only thing ice you didn't put on it is that stick and stones would be hurled at the children for their parents' indiscretion.It doesn't play out as horribly as you make it sound.The children might not even be aware of what's going on for as long as possible talk less their friends taunting them with it.

Lovetinz: Moderator, Please remove this topic before my babe sees it.

I dont want it in my egusi soup!

lool
This post wins "post of the day" for me.

taryour: To all the women in the house who sees nothing wrong in what d woman is doing,don't you all think the kids between the couple should b considered? How it will affect their growing up and how they will be talked about in public and their friends and neighbors will make jest of them and calling their mother a slut They wunt even be able to boast of their mother outside their home cause a they know their mother is a Married Slut.. Luckily for such woman she will have all girls,then she shouldn't complain if they start sleeping around at the age of 14 or even open their legs for their own father to penetrate.

Yes it is very wrong for a man to cheat his woman but a woman doing same because are hubby does is disgusting and unjustifiable. A cheating father is already a bad model to his kids,should the mother also join in being a bad model as well

Jeedus!!

Pataki: Interesting......

The man cheats and lets her wife knows...telling her, she can go to hell with it.

The woman cheats and keeps it a secret from her husband.....



Who is really fooling who in this context?

As far as the husband is concerned,she's in hell.
I'm guessing he knows already and doesn't care.
The story didn't even mention that its a secret

jennykadry: @slim
Staring afresh might not be meeting someone else, it could be making a career if she has none, focusing on her kids and her health. She has kids to think about and I think both her and her hubby are too selfish people.

You do know it won't be that easy and not everyone has that kind of strength to just up and leave?
What makes her selfish?Story says her kids are fine and well taken care of or is that not?

jennykadry: She is deceiving herself. She needs to leave that marriage and start afresh. Two wrongs cannot make a right in emotional situations like this.

Don't let your spouse send you on the road to hell.

What if starting afresh could be the road to hell as well?

biolabee: May God help us all

Maybe you can use the same lawyer as slimyems friend

Biola,abeg o.I nor sabi who lawyer be.
Na behind the scene i dey for the matter o.
May God help us all too.

noobiesin: @ Slimyem, pls, are both parties consenting to the divorce in your friend's case?

Not really.The other party though uninterested in the union has been uncooperative and uninterested in the proceedings too.
Goodluck to you.

Op,I'm sorry but your title is hilarious i had to laugh.

Where there's a law...
It'll be okay..i hope.

noobiesin: Okay thanks.

Better don't believe the crap you are saying thanks to.
Divorce is not that fast or immediate.Don't waste your money rubbing useless palms.

Whether you rub palms or not,the first thing they'll tell you in court is to try reconcilliation and come back in a number of months and then a lot of other hearings and adjournments.
I know this because i know a friend going thru the same.
Talk to a laywer.

Our street-smartness.
The never say die attitude..
The unity in some of our diversities. (forget what NL politic section says)
The hard-work


Oh,how can i forget our parties(music and culture entwined)!
Nothing beats a proper "owambe" with our sky-high geles shaking what mama gave us to good fuji/juju music.

biolabee: good response.... that means infidelity to a woman's mind translates to the fact that the man hates her
interesting...

Nope.It translates to the fact that he has no respect for her and/or for his family.

biolabee: you'd judge equally because you are a woman and to you they are all your children. fair enough

To a man they are not the same

...because they are HIS BASTARD(S) too or ain't that right?

you may be thinking of fairness and equity but they are not the same

keep rationalizing right and wrong

For fans of Games of Thrones, Cercei Lannister killed King Robert's Barrathian bastards as they had more royal blood than Geoffrey Barathion who is a product of incest
all are bastards but some are more equal than others
LOL

Watching GOT too but haven't seen this part.don't spoil the suspense for me.

biolabee: throwing your marriage away is what it is,.. seperation or divorce
so if your pouse committed 2 or 3, you would walk out of the union?

probably.

Second question

What if he loves his wife and remembers theyve been through a lot together and wants to stay for the friendship, kids etc

....and also wants to keep doing his offside runs?
Is that what you are saying?

In old age. physicality is not an issue but rather companionship

true.