₦airaland Forum

SenecaTheYonger:
Why would you even allow a man to hug you?

Is there anything wrong in man hugging his fellow man?

ashewoboy:
You have seen his picture? That is btw though. Shey you are a pretty babe?. If you are pretty, reply my mail.

No. I'm not a pretty babe.

ashewoboy:
He fit dey lie like that?. @stargurl20. He is lying.

Lol he's not

culf:
what's is it my Royal Highness? let me hear it please or am I wrong?

You're not wrong. I'm only acknowledging your majesty's words

culf:
am I flattering you?

Its good not to flatter oneself too much but sincere flatter or let's use praise, is good once in awhile.

Hmm

cayorday89:
You should know the kind of family/parents you have, I knew mine but they had a surprise for me, they started talking marriage and I was only surprised because it was a crime seeing me with male friends not to talk of females, well I put then in their place and focused on how I can survive independently without relying on anyone..

Save from your allawee and if you are able to make side money, it should help and don't think of getting your apartment immediately because doing that will still make you pressure yourself due to endless bills. Be intentional about who you date, as for jobs, you could be lucky and if it comes good take time to move out and be on your own, live your life and take things one step at a time.

Thank you

johnfem321:
Sure you have hope.. don’t focus your thought and energy on negative thought.. you should believe you will find your own man and have a happy marriage..forget say woman plenty.. I’m sure you know there are thousand of people getting married every weekend.. the ladies are not more better or beautiful than you.. just be approachable, don’t deceive yourself by using work or money to compensate for not getting married, most especially pray, God answers prayer.. Yes marriage is a necessity for a happy and fruitful life…

I wonder why people think one is being negative when one is just being realistic. Thanks for the advice

omosefeeguaibor:
Well I had to post on this thread because this was exactly my case as at four years after my p.o.p, note i come from a very strict background where as a girl you can never pass the night out, except under your father's roof, and to be honest, my parent's house was quite comfortable to stay, however it was a case of too comfortable for my liking.

And i made up my mind during service that never ever will I return home after NYSC, till I made it. lt sounds funny � thinking about it now, but back then it was pretty much tough.

So what I did was this I saved money, I mean 19.8k then I saved, and I sent part of my money to my parent lol to show off that I was fine without their help, even though the reality was different.

Also note that during my service year I never asked them for any financial help I wanted to send an indirect message that I was doing fine without their input, and that worked.

And lastly after service, I went back to my former hostel when I was still in uni and lived with the most amazing friend I could never trade for anything, this lady believed in my dream and helped me grow, my dear there was nothing I didn't venture into(legit oo) from learning to work with cars, I was a female mechanic, remembered how people laughed at me chaii! to learning decor and catering services, to selling different items, well it was one hell of a journey but I never returned home, all because I wanted to make them proud.

I remember countless times my dad and mom will threaten me even my siblings to return home I simply like my independence hence I ignored the threats... looking back today, I did not regret any of my actions I made, I was able to save up and with the help of my friend turned sis.. I left the shores of naija and its been a better journey moving forward. All I can say is make sure you're convinced you are doing the right thing, and be focused and above all hold God true, He will surely give you a safe landing. I do hope my story inspires.

Wow! Thank you so much, ma'am. I really learnt a lot from this. I've small cash from the scholarship I'm currently on, but I'm confused on what to invest in cause I do not want to jeopardize my studies along the line. So, I'm going to be fixing the money, including the one I will be receiving in my finals by God's grace and wait until Nysc before investing. Also wish to japa, but where money dey? Lol

juman:
How are you going to be feeding yourself?
First get atleast small job before moving out.
Teaching job is lucrative, you can get hundreds of thousands per month if you are really active.

If not you will be forced to sell your body to pay bills.

Yes, I intend on getting job, and not over selective with their pays

culf:
hmmm, you're laughing at me appreciating you or being honest, which one? I know most ladies don't like truth and I pray you don't join that list, after all, you're royalty not just a Lady.

Maybe it's because I don't flatter myself

Elidrisy20:
never mind

I don't understand your point of commenting ngbayen

Jalo60:
I will not encourage you to leave your parent's home immediately becos you are a Muslim lady, you should be prayerful for the best in your future endeavors and save your allowance during service + learn a skill.

Pls sir, why can't a Muslim lady leaves her parents house? I'm sincerely asking.

juman:
How are you going to pay the house rent and other bills except you get job first.

If I fit squat with person....
I don't know why, the pressure I foresee is something I feel I may not survive. I no like wahala

johnfem321:
So you have given up on finding husband while you are still in school.. shey na when you finish school you wan get your on husband.. you better find husband in school before you graduate.. the pressure is necessary.. you are no more a kid

As if I get hope after sch sef. Women don plenty pass men. Honestly, I wonder why marriage is a necessity. I for no stress myself. A these stories of couples pretending to be happy while going through a hell gan is enough. Me I no just get strength for wahala

culf:
you're welcome your Highness and you're highly appreciated from here too. God bless you for us.

Aameen. God bless u too

culf:
Hahahahaha. modesty ke, I'm actually very loyal, my Royal Highness.

I'm OK, thank God and thank you too.

Lol

R0LL0N:
She is not a baby, you are referring to a graduate. Most unwanted preg are link to under 18s

I'm still an undergraduate. But his comment is actually funny though

culf:
I noticed it yesterday! how is her royal Highness this morning, the one and only stargurl20, your boy is still very loyal. Have a remarkable day ahead!

My boy? Oh come on, sir. It's time you stopped this modesty. Too much modesty is a sin.
Good morning, majesty. I'm fine, you?

DreamSonInlaw:
I am mines...maybe na why I get blind spot there.

This one wey you say u no like school, hope you get your PVC sha

Lol....

culf:
good morning her royal Highness? Its no laughing matter oooo, they think I'm sweet mouthing but I'm only being truthful. you deserve the best and you will get the best.

Good morning, your majesty. thank so much. I sincerely appreciate you.

Deeprooted:
OP look for the nearest police station and tell them to lock you up.

I go come tell them why, tomorrow.

Lol

culf:
naaaa, she deserve better, she will get a brand new fresh guy, I'm taken and old fashion.
Who knows, it might be you, after all you're a 'dream son in law', only don't break her heart else I will come for you... lol.

Lol

culf:
we made front page you know... cheers to that my royal Highness!

Lol... I never knew your majesty. Cheers

Persephone1:
Dear Stargurl20, for every balance equations requires an equal amount of reactions. For a relationship or marriage to work there must be a meeting point , a balance of wants and desires. If you marry someone you don't love, you are aiming for disaster.Don't listen to advice from people who don't understand what being a woman is, feelings is very important for a woman because it is what keeps us going. The love and feelings a mother has for her child is what makes her take up all his troubles and cries. If you as a woman don't have feelings for your husband,his every breath will stink to you. You will have to think of his money and gifts to allow him touch you. How long would you do that? What if money stops or you get fed up with it? What if you end up desiring to love but you can't do it with him.

Love is built Yeah, but attraction is key. You are a woman, you built to feel. Don't let the world tell you otherwise. Know thyself! Enough of all this undermining a woman's feelings because some people think it hinders a woman from making decisions. Infact anyone that does not take your feelings important is not worthy of you. Guys on this forum will encourage trophy wives in a post but go on to shame them on another calling them all sorts of names.

Please groom yourself, love yourself, fall in love and get hitched. You can fall in love and be loved at the same time.

What's even surprising me is that, it's these same people who will not lose the opportunity of bashing women of every posts stating how greedy we are, or how Naija girls cannot love but just for the sake of money. When Regina Daniel married Ned, most of these people condemned for marrying him for his wealth. Yet, there still the one who will condemn a girl who desires to choose love over money. It's most guys don't know what it take to be In love. I've been In love before( though was heartbroken), but during the course, I was really in love with this guy, and always yearn to see, plan future and all that. I doubt if I can do this with someone I don't love. Even if I have to, it will be out of compulsion. Well, for me not to be single all my life, maybe I just marry someone. If it ends well, fine. Make person Sha have good children.

Persephone1:
How can you love someone you are not attracted to?

Is marrying someone based on how he treats you isn't what is termed "fake love"?

If a lady marries a guy because he treats her like a queen, isn't that by Nigerian standard gold digging?

Must a woman's feelings be undermine or belittle when it comes to marriage?

What happens when his goodness is short-lived immediately she says "I do"?

So she goes the Regina way and ends up catching feelings for some somadina, what should she do? Lock up and continue to be with a man she doesn't love?

Honestly the way you all script up do's and don't on relationship matters on this forum is very annoying to say the least. You all refuse to acknowledge the fact that marriage has no specific manual, humans are dynamic and realities of life differs. Funny enough guys are mostly guilty of this selective omission!

Honestly, after reading most comments on this forum, I began shaking my head. Not because those comments weren't in my favor, but because these same people will be the ones judging, condemning Naija gurls of their inability to love men, but after them for money and material things. It's even making me regret of wanting to actually love someone and not greedy. Coz it will take me nothing to date multiple guys together without their knowledge and starting collecting money from them. I know how to give people attention that none will even have the slightest idea if cheating coz they will trust me to a fault. Also, God has blessed me with good physique, and looks ( at least that what people around me say) Alhamdulilah. However, I just don't have the courage to do that. At times I'm confused with how God has wired me. Maybe because I'm more of introvert than I'm an extrovert Sha, coz I can stay indoors for hours, provided I'm with gadgets most especially. I don't go out and I'm a shy to a great extent.

Ok, I've decide to marry anybody o

pansophist:
most people marry who they love, but it's the wrong strategy. It is to ''love who you marry''. The former is based on feelings, and the latter is based on an informed decision. Feelings are what is keeping many girls single, they are waiting for the guy that will give them butterflies. It is wrong. Start listening to Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo and his wife, Mildred, these couples will clean your brain for this dirt modern society has deposited into it.

If you find a man that treats you like a queen, genuinely loves you, and wants to build a future with you, then love him. Butterflies are fleeting because when life's difficulties and responsibilities show up, you will appreciate a good man. Butterfly doesn't pay rent, protect and provide, lead and not bring trouble to you.

The same excuse you have that you haven't seen someone you fell in love with, is also the same excuse millions of unmarried women in their 30s have. Don't make such a mistake. Because you have feelings for a man doesn't make him good. It's a jackpot to love someone that happens to be a good man, but the primary duty is his goodness first, then feelings.

Thank you

CeeJeckydivah:
Beware of people that try to speak plenty grammar, they most times have absolutely nothing to offer.

Smiles

CeeJeckydivah:
Try to communicate in clear, brief and simple English boy. Life no be by plenty English grammar. Men can have child outside wedlock or adopt, women can't? So because she has standards it's a big deal? I don't have the time to engage you ok. Believe whatever makes you sleep at night.

Omo, the English off me self. At a point while reading his comment, I had to skip certain words.

DreamSonInlaw:
Toh why you want make e be you? Why not him? �

Lol.... Every child wants to be its parents beloved

VTJN:
Not me


I'm not one of them..

Even if a girl is not lucky with already made man, it's not an excuse to go after her school mate

I won't encourage that

I'm not even after already made man. Once I see you're not lazy, you're relentless, you're with prospect, and I feel something for you, and sense the feeling is mutual ( coz I wouldn't force myself on who doesn't love me), I will turn mumu for you o....

Some of them blaming these women for looking for already made man wouldn't even withstand their daughters considering a civil servant. Let them keep ranting. I know most of them are young guys. Let's wait until to start having children, doing responsibilities expected of them, train their children, and when they're of age, they went and bring some wretched men home to them. I wish their reactions are what we could see

placeofallure:
You don't understand OP's point when she said ... somebody you feel next to nothing for... You didn't understand probably because you are a man. If a woman feels nothing for you, even sighting you alone can cause convulsion or vomiting. Very irritable! Men can sleep with anything and anyone, dunno how they possibly do that but women cannot. How do you now go into marriage, a lifetime thing, with such? Is that not suicide mission? Cheating on him will not even solve the problem!

Thank you so much, ma'am. Someone even said I'm full of myself. If only the person knows how I reason. If only he knows how I see my self as ordinary and not superior to others in anyway, probably he wouldn't have said that