₦airaland Forum

All I can say is that it's well

Ebubu:
hope you’ve resumed?

Yes o.... finally

jeromestarks:
Marry a virgin and avoid untimely death.

But u don disvirgin all of us na. Where you wan take see that one?
Tot you guys said virgin doesn't exist.

Na today?

Allahu Akbar. My Lord is really wonderful.

Ngige is really showing our lecturers shege.
Abeg, make them no allow them go on strike o.... Na so one prof refused to lecture us claiming he hasn't been paid. Imagine the prof being paid half salary marking one's script.

Karleb:
People who don't have love always despise it.

Maybe they are confusing love with that butterfly feelings. How can you run a family without love?

Anyone who tells you that is living with a housemate, not a spouse.

Ok

I thought they said love is not important that it's an illusion

Life after death and what future have in store. Not death.

mostob:
For male nko.... We sha no fit use waistbead

You fit wear face cap

Surayj123:
Op if what u are saying true, then the guy u saw was not ur dead friend but a Jinn using his body. thats all i haveto say

Exactly my thoughts

mostob:
Everybody do bath naked now. Abi na me no understand you ni

At least there should be maybe a tiny piece of clothings on you. For female, maybe waist beads

Base on my little Islamic knowledge, I've learnt that if a deceased person used to sleep naked or bath completely naked during his/her lifetime, a jinn could wear the person's appearance after the person's death.

But this really got me scared o

thundafire:
Why not,even Seun were dey use outdated emojis deserve to be sued yet he makes noise

Lol

Police is truly your friend.

Aladdin1:
Toh! God will deliver you! Wailai!

Aameen

Aladdin1:
How can you not find someone you like or dat likes you? You better go for deliverance now earlier the better.this your case is not ordinary and its likely caused from the marine kingdom issues.a woman is wired naturaly to love a man,who shows love for her.what if you find someone that you love but does not love you.my advice to you is you better look for solution to your problem.cos something is definitely wrong with you.

Toor. Will you comma deliver me?

Techmac00:
I've been following this thread since inception. Your philosophy about love and marriage isn't bad honestly.

I was matchmaked with this young student Nurse and after 2 weeks of knowing ourselves, I pulled out. Why? The connection and attraction wasn't there. I couldn't pretend, and even though she's hot cake for the type of course she is studying, and her mum is wealthy, I couldn't take that risk to marriage where there's no turning back.

But I was able to take such a decision because I'm a Man, at 30 I'm not too late, but you ladies don't have the luxury of time. I think that's the unfair advantage when compared with both sexes in terms of spec and marriage.

At 23, you are still young but don't create too high expectations for the man you will love.

Yeah, I didn't even make this post for myself. I know that the chances of ending up with someone I have no feelings for maybe high, but I only made the post to get those who bully unmarried women know that some are unmarried not because of their high expectations, but because they're just like me.

Thanks for relating from your experience. I just read some comments from most men here and shake my head.

Can anyone of them pray to end up with women who doesn't love them at all? I pity them If their answer is yes
I understand I do not have luxury of time as a woman, but I'm just making them know that not every woman should be bullied coz it's like most men on this forum derive joy from that( what I've observed over the years I've been on this platform).

Saintinoo:
No, i have been trying to make things work and finding a way to understand her all through those years. But i know better now.

If you're being honest with all these you accused her of, I wouldn't advice you to marry such woman. Not just a woman, humans shouldn't have high inflated idea of their won importance. We shouldn't be full of ourselves.

However, I think u should have discard her earlier the moment you tried changing all these, and u are not seeing any signs of her willing to. Maybe her virginity got into her head, not knowing they are countless virgins ( forget what they say here.
Anyway, the ball is in your court

yusufmurry:
She is still thinking heaven and earth at 23. Why she has no feeling for those coming her way, even at the 23, once Otedola's son comes, she go get feeling by force. And you think girls don't know what they are doing. Lazy beings looking for already-made food pretending to love

You're entitled to your opinion

mignone:
Never say never.
I've heard stories bt specifically, a senior colleague gisted me about how her ex-husband pounced on her for sex shortly after a caesarean birth. She said she would have to cushion d incision site with towels or so while at it.cos of pains& secretions.

Some men Sha

Don't tell me you're just seeing all these after 3years.

ayoncox:
naira to dollar flipping. Google it

All these online businesses get as them be o

VERDA:
Lol...you don't need to be sarcastic, some people are being unreasonably harsh I agree, but there are a lot of very sound advice I see up there....I know feelings are very important to women and yes you cant just give in to just anyone, you need to start somewhere though....in the larger skim of things in Marraige, feelings contributes the least to Marraige sustainance.

Thank you. I understand it does. In fact, I think I've mentioned the fact that I know it fades after marriage, but just as you mentioned, it's 'somewhat' pivotal.

Abi make I rugged am? But no doubt frigidity will be my second name cause na just to fulfill righteous most things wey I go dey do go be. But when there's at least something there fo that person, it will serve as drive to always make effort to make things right

ayoncox:
Do arbitrage and you won't regret it

Which one be arbitrage again?

pansophist:
And my question is, why did you infer the worse possible interpretation of my point? If you read it in the context that I mean, you would notice that you have gone astray with your arguments. ''To love who you marry'' doesn't mean you should just marry any man that shows up or a man you do not have feelings for, it simply means that you should not marry someone because you have feelings for them ONLY. It simply means that in the hierarchy of traits that will make you commit to a man (or a man to a woman), attraction should take the back seat. I pray that the man you are attracted to will be a man of godly character, but life has never been perfect or balanced. 

If you decide to marry someone because feelings are more important than the strength of their character, just know that it has a price. And when you start paying that price, every modicum of attraction and respect you have for him will vanish. Marriage is not dating, marriage is marriage. If you reminisce on all the times you have fallen in love, you may notice a pattern. You would see that the guy you were dying for, that has your ''mumu'' button before is just an ordinary dude now, and you begin questioning yourself, how on earth did I fall in love with this idiot? if this has never happened to you, then perhaps you are still young.  

Also, if you talk to any behavioral scientist, or even google the science of attraction, it is clear that attraction is based on looks. If you know any man or woman that was overweight and loosed weight down to 10 percent body fat, they will tell you for a fact that they get more romantic advances, and suddenly become visible in the dating market. What you call attraction is mostly fitness and someone that is healthy. Most people if they are disciplined enough will be attractive if they can just be on a diet and exercise daily. One thing you can do now is to check out the 'before and now' photos of models/actors in the past, and you will see that they are probably fatter now, and not attractive anymore. 

Attraction is external, it is not skin deep. It is fluctuating and fleeting. You do not, and should NOT make a decision of permanence based on that. Character is a good bet, and if someone treats you to the best of their ability, even if you do not find them attractive, you can still live with them. It is impossible to hate someone that wishes you well and wants the best for you. And if they want the best for you, keeping fit, which is an expression of self-love will make you respect them and potentially develop deep feelings and attraction. Also, what are the probabilities that the man you love will love you back? if like every other of your past love, you lost feelings for him, what will become of the relationship?

If I will use a simple relatable analogy, it is like telling an obese person to love healthy food, instead of sweet junk. Healthy food may not be sweet, but it is good for you. Personally, I like junk food, especially chocolate. I don't drink, smoke, or do those stuff, but chocolates are my Achille heels, But as I grow older, I know that it is not good for me, and I stopped it. My diet now for most people is weird, but I come to love it because it's healthy for me, and will make me live longer. It is about sacrificing want/desire, for need/greater good. In case you don't know, you are always paying a price. And not knowing the price you are paying makes it worse. Being with a man due to feelings is also a reason for the prevalence of single motherhood, how about that? Bad men are attractive too you know? 

Is it a surprise that dating now is a mess? It is this mindset of putting feelings first that contributed to this mess. Lots of good boys and girls are friend zoned because they didn't give you butterflies, even if they will make good partners. The content of their hearts doesn't matter, just appearance. To end this, let me make this clear for the umpteenth time. By all means, marry a man you find attractive, but don't marry a man you find attractive only. This is and has been the central point of my stance so far, but I keep wondering why you and some other posters who don't want to quote me directly are inferring what I don't mean, and interpreting it to the worse it could possibly get.  Marriage is hard, it is an institution that calls forth the best in you, and feelings alone don't do it, but character.

Even though I scanned through this comment, I think I understand you now unlike the previous one i ignored( I think I did). Maybe it's me who didn't explain my personality fully in my write up. Things that tickles my fancy in a man have always been a God fearing man( for I know love fades in marriages, and when there's no love left, his fear of God will make him treat me right, coz trust me, when there's no love, most partners become irritant to one another). Intelligence; I should sense that to an extent you posses this ability to provide solutions to problems. It could be any type of intelligence. And someone who have same religion as me. I'm not the overly religious type, but there are certain rules I strive to follow in my religion which one of them is it not permitting women to marry from other religion, except male, who could marry either christians or Jewish. And looks you emphasized. Honestly, just like every human has what moves them, I just like when a guy is dark or at least not so fair. I like when things exhibit true features of Africa. Also, I'm a very tall girl. And if the guy is at least of the same height I'm fine. When it comes to looks, I understand there could be compromises, coz I understand we do not always get what we want. If I'm asking for too much, pls let me know.

I'm not materialistic ( it's your choice to believe this). As a guy, just let me perceive you as someone who's serious with his life and future; someone with prospect and not lazy. In fact, I'm interested in how a man started. I believe in building a man with himself and building yourself alongside as a woman.

So, if you say certain things are what make people have attraction towards another which probably birth feelings, I won't dispute that, coz things I mentioned above will sure impress me in a guy especially a God fearing ( not religious o... U could be religious with no iota of fear of God, but when you have fear of God as a Muslim for instance, you will at least fulfill the basic things Allah has demanded from us like solat) and one who take his future seriously.

bigpicture001:
@Op...u are a big fat liar.....u are overly materialistic nd lie u are not...okay explain what makes u like a man aside stuffs that are materials nd let Gid hear u say u havent fou d them in a man, but chhose to ignore him cuz he doesn't hv sooooooo much money...

ypu lot are same thing...nd full if lies

You're entitled to your opinion, whether right or wrong. One thing I will never do is to explain my self to people repeatedly. You can believe whatever you want. Provided God is the all knowing who knows every of our intentions, my broda, think of me not just as a gold digger, but diamond, platinum or even more precious stones digger, I DO NOT CARE!

UyaiIncomparabl:
It is indeed very draining. Make me question what exactly those species want. Be a gold digger, they will be here wailing all day saying women don't love and it's all money. Now, here's someone trying to preach her belief in love and they still turn otherwise. Beats my imagination. Love is important. Very important.

Truly, humans can never be satisfied.
The comments I'm getting here are just do unbelievable to me. Not because most aren't in my favor, but because they're coming from the same people would make post almost every single day that Naija girls are gold diggers, not loving, this and that.
Na was o

Jman06:
No need arguing further with you! She, like many of her kind, will eventually find out the reality. I just hope it won't be too late for her.

Can you just tell me what you guys want?
You accuse girls on this platform almost everyday for not loving a guy, but only there to exploit them. Una see person wey no make material things priority, una still dey complain. Do you guys really understand yourselves?