₦airaland Forum

2buff: Yup. I really don't know why people are such in a hurry to start spouting children. they take so much time away from one. Definitely not a trigger to pull immediately.
I still think this is one of the causes of boring marriages, when people rush into "the motions" of making babies before having time to explore life with your new wife/husband devoid of distractions.

Besides, you 2 are working AND in school, and you think you would have time for a baby?
Dude is pretty unrealistic in his expectations of how easy caring for a baby would play out. Pray that he isn't one to succumb to external pressure from family members and nosy people when it comes to guiding the affairs of his marriage.

God bless you for this post. People keep asking why she got married if she wasn't interested in making kids? Like seriously??The whole burden of the pregnancy, child bearing and nuturing will be on her. Its not as easy as it seems. We see women combining this with school,yes! but that doesn't make it any less stressful. In as much as I do not support placing your career over your marriage,I strongly believe the issue at hand can still be well managed. You have just 18 months to go. Like some posters have said, make him see the reasons you don't wanna get pregnant now,and work towards the last semester. He has to compromise too-it won't make him less of a man.

Lol @ the 'give him his kids replies'...are they not her kids too?? Abi which reasonable woman won't want to bear children in her matrimonial home.

Olalekan 0: It's no rumour,the july batch's been scrapped.There are now only March and November batches.(

Choi!!! Would someone please tell me this is a joke!!!

...unprotected sex aint worth it at all.

[quote author=Risky_mallam]Well, you can always joke about her being "mono-syllabic" by insinuating that it seems she doesn't have much words in her vocabulary.

Has always worked for me.[/quote]Hehe..nice one!

soapdish: Speechless...what a husband!!!. He did not see other girls except your employee. That's a huge betrayal from one's better half. My dear,wipe your tears, God shall console you by granting you fruit of the womb. Don't leave your home for another woman to reap where she did not sow.

The fact that it was her employee hit me the most. How disrespectful and betraying! I just hope insensitive guys don't troop in here to spew trash. The last thing this woman needs is mockery or blame of any form.

I'm sure if she saw any signs she'd have sent the girl away. Clear case of women are their worst enemies! What was the silly girl thinking getting close to her oga's hubby to the extent of getting pregnant! She's nothing but a sl-ut, I guess she should be over 18, an adult, so I'm sure she knew exactly what she was doing. What was the hubby thinking putting his wife's employee in a family way! This man has absolutely NO respect for his marriage, its just so unfortunate. Some men deserve to be cursed! I'm so pissed I don't even know how to compose my post sef. This betrayal from both parties can kill. It is so easy to tell you to calm down and accept it all cos I'm not in your shoes.

*sighs*

May God grant you the strength and wisdom to do what is right. It is well.

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]OP thank you for this topic, this is what I have been trying to promote. . .I even started a blog about it some few years back, I passed out fliers, handouts, put up videos but sadly all my troubles was for naught because we still have these sassy women propagating the idea. . .the silly notion that they are worthy to stand toe to toe with a man.

Anyway, now that we are talking about it again. . .here goes

THE GOOD WIFE'S GUIDE: HOW TO BE THE BEST WIFE FOR YOUR HUSBAND

1) Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

2) Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

3) Be a little happy and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4) Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

5) Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

6) Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

7) Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

8 ) Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

9) Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home later or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

10) Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

11) Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

12) Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

13) Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

14) Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

15) Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

16) A good wife always knows her place.


I had to highlight the last two because I think this is where most of us women miss it. . .WE JUST DON'T KNOW OUR PLACE!!!!

Thank God for the bountiful patience he has given the men who have to deal with us.

For more instructional, please feel free to visit my blog PERFECTION: BE THE BEST NAIJA WIFE

@ TARYOUR,
You have a good head on your shoulder. . .you just get it and I was wondering if you would like to help me co-write the blog. From the little I have read, you will be a shining example of the inferiority of girls to boys. I sincerely believe that once people. . .our young girls see that one can still live a normal life while embracing their inferiority. . .many of them will be dissuaded of the false idea that they are more than what they are.

Please send me an email if you are interested and we can get started on this arduous task of ours. [/quote]OMG..mother of all sarcasms..hehe

Obinoscopy: Thanks Ijebabe. I just don't know why they are all excited at my post. There's nothing wrong with a girl serving her junior brothers food, just as there's nothing wrong a boy serving a girl food; the watch word is mutual understanding. As long as there's the understanding that she's just playing her role as a woman and he's playing his role as a man. The fact that she's serving her juniors or the fact that he's doing all the working instead of his juniors should not be understood as being treated like a slave. I repeat, the watch word is mutual understanding.

I've seen families where its the girl dat cooks and serve her junior siblings. But she's still being respected as their senior and is accorded her well deserved respect. Offcourse if she and other gals are not in the house or if they're tired or sick, its the guys that do the cooking and serving.

Hope I've clarified myself?

In your initial post, you used the word 'should' , I interpreted that to be an obligation. Now that you have added 'mutual understanding' , I think its a bit clearer.

denzel2009: She should also be on her kneels while serving cos I don't like my girls standing to serve me.

LMAO!

ijebabe: What I understood from what Obinoscopy said is that men and women are different and have different roles. It doesn't mean that men can't cook for women or women can't do hard labour. As long as there is mutual respect.
Obinoscopy please clarify.

His post was making sense until I saw that part. As far as I'm concerned,the poster with the successive posts on this thread already did justice to the topic. I think if the last paragraph of the original post is modified, the thread will pass across a better message.

Obinoscopy: A man is a man and a woman is a woman. There are certain things that women can do that man can't and vice versa. Based on this premise, I'd say no one is superior to the other. However a man should be accorded the respect a man deserves from a woman and a woman too should be accorded her own respect as well. For example, a girl should be the one to cook in the house and serve the boy even if the boy is her junior; similarly a boy should be the one to do all the manual and energy sapping work in the house even if he has a girl that he seniors.

Conclusively, a man is the boss over his wife but that does not make her his slave. They are to love and respect each other mutually. The man should love and adore his wife while his wife should be submissive to him. This is my own opinion.

What is this garbage??-----»a girl should be the one to cook in the house and serve the boy even if the boy is her junior.

God bless my parents.

I keep wondering what people gain from this popularity contest. .

Why ONE handle keeps giving people sleepless nights is beyond me.Indeed,Nl romance section needs to be cleaned, too many disturbed minds *sighs*

[quote author=gree-die]d be a sinner and sin boldly nairalander I tot ogugua was a male? Anyways, i still admire his/her courage[/quote]Lol, there used to be a female ogugua (she's no more active in this section)..the male one is the satanist.

The second part of your post is incomprehensible, but would you quit blaming the man's wife?

ULSHERLAN: *folds arms* and watch as things unravels. This T.B josh is A̶̲̥̅̊ man to watch out for. Been following his predictions for A̶̲̥̅̊ while now and am completely speechless

Nothing to b speechless about this. Firstly,this man died of cancer which is incurable, he was going to die anyway! and secondly he predicted the death of a hollywood star,not Nollywood. Very false prophet I must say..gambling with his soo called prophesy.

jay bee: Off-course I would and common sense tells me that principled people stay away from temptations.
If your friend was that principled then he won't be in a position to witness such.

Absolutely no point taking advantage of our Nigerian sisters then going around advising their own peeps to stay away from them.
In my world, it's called double standards Sir

I agree completely with your second paragraph.

amosy007: ur answer is simple ...
becoz it goes against the rules and regulations guiding the way people should dress to school... If ijab didnt affect student, dressing like a monk or prostitute shouldnt affect anybody either.. What is good 4 the geese is good 4 d gander

Very lame I must say. Take a glass of water and try to think straight. Bluetooth asked a question and I want to ask that same question. Of what gain is it to you if these girls stop using hijab? Also, are you affected in any way by their present usage of hijab?

amosy007: so "shut up" is now an insult...
By the way who design school uniform?
The western world that brought about western education doesnt teach religion? They teach physics,chemistry etc ... If u want to study quoran their are institutions that does that which u can easily enrol ur kid too if u have problem with secular state... Afteral western education is not compusory... Almajiri school is their.. There are islamic schools that will suit u and ur mode of dressing out there and it shudnt have to be public school!... Why is it that islam will always want to impose their way of life on public... There is arabic inscription on naira in secular state and english as a general language, ibb smuggle nigeria into OIC as if nigeria belong to d muslims, lamido forced islamic bank on us.. Boko haram will stop kilin Christians... Why why why?

Now I know what your problem is. You feel threatened by islam innit?. The last time I checked, SLS dint impose islamic banking on anyone. You can also stop spending the nigerian currency since you are so much bothered by the arabic inscription. Nairaland christians are so full of hate, insults and intolerance towards muslim. Ironically, a good percentage of u has a muslim coworker, relative, neighbour, boss, and so on. Are dey all terrorists? I'm sure no1 has actually given this hijab thing a thought, but now that it is in the news and especially because it has to do with islam, you just can't help but show your hatred for this religion.

For the record (I don't expect you to agree with this though)- Islam DOES not impose its way of life on people.

godello: u ar daft to say dat! The olumba should like wise wear their sutan to school and workplaces na. Ther is alwayz a dress code 4 skuls. Islamic religion my foot.

Why don't they try it out 1st, I mean their sutan. This hijab has been worn for years now by some muslim girls on top of their uniforms, and so far, I haven't seen/heard how this has affected anything. It doesn't cover their brains, neither does it affect their colleagues in school. I don't understand why fashola is becoming irrational in his thinking lately.
That being said,I'm sure its a rumour, it sure can't happen.

^^shaking my head

dabrake: madam, I like am like that oh. When I used to love them, they took me for a fool. One of them, after I fully supported her whole-heartedly, granted our departmental editorial team an interview where she professed love for our presido, telling them that she was with me cuz she knew I'ld always do her assignment. Was very popular so it was easy to identify me. Imagine how you would feel. For 3wks, the 'bulletin' remained on our bill board. . . Have been heartbroken many times cuz of your gender so it's not gonna happen again. BTW, I am only setting my priorities right.

Lol, this is the second time I'll be reading this your story. I have always known that every anti-female (ure not exactly one tho, better than 190, lol) on nairaland has once been a victim of heartbreak. E pele.

A thread similar was posted by h-babe some months ago and it was a very 'hot' thread . I'm not married though, but I think it should be an interesting read again.

*standing by*

991: blame neither nigerian government nor your god, the blame is 100%ly on you women. no woman @28 hasn't been proposed for marriage in her early age, the problem(women's problem) is that they give silly excuses, guess what? i have a list of silly excuses women give in their early age:
1. am still young
2. i want to finish my education first
3. i dont want to be a house wife
4. i want to be making my own money
5. he is too short
6. he is not a graduate
7. he is a trader(OMATA)
8. me marry a bus-driver? god forbid
9. give me time to pray over it, if its the will of god.
10.bla bla bla

And you say the above reasons are silly

Smh! How about graduating with a good grade first, 'get made', then come back to complete your balderdash.

neyostica: i already know them, debrief, jennykadry, queensmith n co, i just pity any lady that listens to their fuckkdup advice. homewreckers

You guys should quit this immature whining! Give your advise and let the Op select and chose whatever advice suits her.

You keep screaming these people are pro-divorce ,but I hardly see them advocate divorce. Or is divorce the only thing you can infer from standing up for yourself, don't let anyone shatter your self -esteem?? Y'all can't share the same opinion, so please stop all these 'take my advice' don't listen to the others. Its not some sort of competition, is it?. At the end of the day the poster \ observers pick the ones that suit them.

Ps- I'm not new here. Been a guest for years.