₦airaland Forum

I love this analysis

The emptiness we feel within us is an indication of lack of purpose in life. This lack of purpose express itself in different ways; going after material things, money, women, etc. At the end of the day, we still feel that emptiness within us. This suggests that nothing can replace purpose in life, because true satisfaction and fulfilment can only be attained through living a purposeful life.

Every single element that exist on earth has its purpose, including human being. From observation, all other things are doing just what they were designed to do, but human beings are the ones who are lost. As a result, they began to wonder and experiment with things through trial and error, hoping that they will find happiness or a sense of purpose, but this also fail. That's why, rich politicians in Nigeria, for instance, will continue to embezzle public fund, hoping that more money will make them happy, but they still remains unfulfilled.

The key then, is to discover your purpose in life. Within your purpose, you will find all amount of happiness, material things and fulfilment.

How do we discover our purpose?
To discover your purpose, you have to return to your childhood days. During these days, society's voices did not overwhelm your original sense purpose. You were original and true. Your desires were a true reflection of what you were born to do. You were drawn to a particular vocation because that is what you were born to do.
But as you grow up, society's influence and opinions overwhelm that sense of inclination and directed you to a strange path where you're not built for. Establishing a career path in this direction will never bring you happiness and fulfilment, no matter how much material things you own, and material things can not offer happiness, they are temporary; and also, because you were not configured to attain happiness through such path.
Returning to that original voice or desire or passion for a particular vocation and spending the rest of your life following that burning passion and desire is the key 🗝️ to a happy and fulfilled life.

The 12 universal law of success

Sex urge is one of the physiological need of a man. It is actually your level of knowledge and understanding of what it is that will determine how you handle it. If you see it as something evil, it will also affect the way you are going to handle it.
Let me begins by saying that masturbation is not a bad or evil thing as people portray it, it's just another form of s'x. But if you want to stop it, you can do it. All you need is the knowledge of how habit is formed, reinforced and broken.
Search for this book on Google, download it and read it. It will help you. ATOMIC HABITS by Clear.
So long as you eat and remain healthy, you will definitely have urge.
But wait oh, you said you are a medical student, how come you don't understand this thing?

Code No. 1. Never write about a subject matter you have no knowledge in public

14. Discover yourself before you chose a course to study
15. Date yourself first, before you date anyone.
16. Read everyday, at least one page a day.
17. In every decision you take, make sure it propells you to your goal. If it doesn't, leave it.
18. Never fall in love with someone you don't know, no matter how you feel about him or her. If you want to love him/her, start by knowing him or her (friendship)
19. If you don't like something don't think about it, if you think about it so much, you give it life and it becomes your reality.
20. Put aside something everyday, even if it is one naira.
21. Always proof read before you summit your write up, no matter how sure you are.

[quote author=Oblivion34 post=117860646]In my defense, ASUU has always been unreasonable in negotiations with the federal government.

ASUU were insisting on suffering themselves and the poor students by not calling off the strike.

They also claimed to be ok with the "No work, No Pay" policy. [color=#990000][/color]

Aside from that, we'll always see them insult the government at any given chance; either on social media or live TV.

They also said they were never going to beg the government because they were clearly the boss of them and not the other way around.

Why should they be paid when they were willing to stress the strike up until the next year unless they get what they want?

Why should they paid when they told students to sacrifice two years of their time for them?

Why can't they also sacrifice their salaries for the cause?

It's important to note that ASUU was willing to stress the strike for as long as they want because they were 100% sure of their paycheck before or after the strike has been called off. [color=#990000]

If they get paid, who will compensate the students?

I am sure the students have already been compensated with exam timetables. And lecturers are preparing to come and stamp their foot on the ground in lecture theaters to brag about how they'll get paid whether they come to class or not.

I want to implore the federal government to adhere strictly to the "No work, No pay" policy.

This is the only way we can use to break ASUU's wing and allow our students to graduate at the appropriate time.


How long will the government keep begging ASUU? Year after year, ASUU must declare a strike!

In my opinion, the salary issue should also be tabled at the court of law. I will love to see them win that case in court

The "No work, No Pay" policy must stand in other to curb yearly strikes.
[/quot

From your write up here, you don't really understand anything about the subject matter.
Sorry to say this, you are displaying ignorance in public.

I think subconsciously, you're not ready.
Your conscious mind can deceive you because they rely so much on what you feed them with. But your subconscious mind can't deceive you or be deceived, because they contain all the truth.
Most of the times, our subconscious mind will try to send us some subtle messages, but we ignore it because we're so fixated on what we want. But ignoring these messages will not take the consequences away.
Some of the ways these messages come to us is through the following;
1. Anxiety
2. Being Nervous
3. Dreams
4. Still Small Voice
5. Insight
6. Serendipity etc.
Being anxious sometimes is very healthy, but it depends on the degree. For instance, preparing for interview. No matter how much you're prepared for it, there's still this anxiety we feel because we're moving from the known position, to the unknown. But marriage is different, you have to be sure of what you're doing.
Being anxious and nervous at the same time, might be a subtle message you need to interpret. Find out why you're feeling this way. Except you are a shy type, you should be anxious and happy, not nervous.

Mr. Op, sometimes, it's very hard to be sincere especially with ourselves. One of the ways to know this is to ask yourself this question, if you were them, would you marry you?
You see, for you to really understand life, you need to sometimes see things through the eyes of your opponent. Understand that people have desires, dreams and preferences. And these preferences might conflict with yours, but this does not, in any way, have anything to do with you; it's just their choice of life. Expecting that they should see life only through your eyes, is being selfish, and this will only increases your pains.
The only source of happiness is to embrace reality, not running away from it, cos you can't.
Do not go after something that doesn't want to be kept, it will cost you so much to keep it.
Life is more than marriage. Find happiness and fulfillment in other areas of life. If you see someone who is willing, on her own, to spend her life with you, good, you go ahead and marry. But if you do not, please try and be happy own your own. Sometimes, we don't know what we have until we lose it. Who knows, you might be okay on your own!

Some Africans evolve from a culture that was based mostly on superstition. As a result, they don't have a culture of carrying or conducting research. As they say, we are product of our culture.

When you compare us with the white, you will realize that their forefathers evolved from a culture that like to find out things by experimenting with it. This single element of their culture is what separates us from them.
Any culture or society that always based their explanation of things on supernatural concepts, are bound to fail in terms of development.

A culture that always conduct a research in order to arrive at objective conclusions is bound to be a developed society, whether they pray for it or not.

What our forefathers transmitted to us do no longer solve our current problems. We the current members of this culture should see the need to drop those elements in our culture that do no longer serve a purpose, and develop, even if it's to copy from others, those practices that helps solve our immediate and long term needs. After all, culture is a mechanism (a set of tools) of solving human problems. If ours do no longer solve our problems, then wisdom demand that we drop them, if we really want to make progress.

In conclusion, the problem is the system (culture) in which they evolved from. That is why when they go out of this system, their performance changes.

We are a product of our environment.

Mr. Op, you make my day through this write ✍️ up.
Alot of young kids here will not understand the the import of this knowledge, off course, hence the reason they make so many mistakes. Their lack of insight of the import of your message, should never be an instrument of measuring how successful your write up is.

Thank you for sharing your knowledge, I have learned so much from it.

Mr. Op, you're suffering from addiction that has lasted for six years of your life. You will not be able to stop it simply because you know is bad, and that you want to stop it. It doesn't work that way.
Simply put, addiction is when you can't control a particular behavior even when you know is against your well-being or reputation as the case maybe. In other words, it's a kind of conditioning which create a circuit in your brain � that makes it works like an habit, once it is triggered, the process has to be completed. This is why you feel this compulsive behavior at the thought or sight of someone going to the bathroom or place, you can't stop yourself until you do it. Your brain releases certain neurotransmitters called dopamine which make you feel good about the act. Your pleasure system, at this level, has taken over your ability to discipline yourself.

Mostly, what causes this behavior is lack of access to sex, p*$$y and all that. Now , the lack of access to these things make you overrate and begin to worship them. But if you expose yourself enough to these things, over time, your desires for them begin to deminish; that is if you do not become addicted to them.

Finally, if you find someone and date, and the need for this behavior still insist, please go for a therapy. Do not wait to be caught, it will cost you more than you ever imagined.
I wish you good luck.

A machine that can predict your future base on your daily decisions.

2. A machine that can detect someone's talent.

According to Dr. Myles Munroe, "when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable".

From the Op's perspective or point of view of marriage, it is very clear, that he may not know the purpose of marriage.
If you're looking at marriage interms of what is there for you, then you have lost it all.

Know this, the way you look or see something, does not in any degree, change the nature of that thing. But rather, it defines what you see.
Now, assuming you see it from the wrong pointof view, and you make your conclusion based on this view, do you think your conclusion will be a reflection of the true nature of that thing or that of how you see it?

The cardinal point is that, marriage is a training ground (socialization) for the youngsters who will take up the next generation to its supposed direction.

One of the core reasons why Nigeria fail as a nation, in her responsibility is because of lack of proper upbringing.
We have children who grow up to be leaders without conscience, empathy or sympathy for one another. Bad leadership without discipline are clear indicators of a failed family who give birth to a failed nation.
You can't give what you don't have. Nigeria as it is today, is a product of our own making.

The likes of Davido, 2face and so on, are creating more problems than solving them. It is not about how it appears today, but after 10 to 20 years to come. What kind of children would they become? And if they happen to be a leader tomorrow, what kind of policy would they make? Because the quality of socialization one get, determined the quality of a person, and the quality of people in a nation determined the quality of that nation. In the end, the quality of families in a nation determined the quality of a nation.

These are what we consider when talking about family, not how you're going to enjoy it. Family determines everything. And the journey begins with marriage.

I guess, now you know why marriage is so important, Mr. Op.

Op, why don't you study music instead. You know, wth your talent you can achieve two things at the same time; a degree and your music career. With the knowledge you will obtain from the university, you can direct your passion to become the very best in your field. Because, by then, you will not only be a talented musician, but also an authority in this field, which is an advantage to you. Except, you studied sciences in secondary school.

Once you start year one, your passion will make ways for you. Scholarship will come, if you're as good as promise, then money will not be your problem.
I wish you good luck.

[quote author=CumOnHer post=110366851]What is destiny to you?

Op, to be frank with you, I think you're the one destroying men destiny for posting this kind of information for public consumption. What do you think will be the outcome of someone who feed on this type of information every day?
I Think we have a lot of work to do, interms of the quality of knowledge our youth have. Because as a man thinketh in his heart (mind), so is he. You can't outgrow the level of your knowledge; where your knowledge stop is where your growth stops. Therefore, the quality of the contents of your mind has a direct relationship with the quality of success you attain in life.

Your destiny lies completely in your hands. You are the sole determinant of your destiny. Being successful or achieving your purpose in life is completely your choice. Blaming external factors, spiritual factors or human factors is an indication a lack of internal locus of control.

God is not responsible for your success or failure. You being successful in life is as a result of the quality of decisions you make on daily basis. The totality of these decisions is what you called success. If you make wrong decisions every day, then you don't need to pray for success, because prayers doesn't make any one successful, you will inevitably fail.

I'm writing this, with the hope that someone out there, need this message.

The likes of Bill Gates do not even observe these things you have outlined, but yet, they're successful. Why? Because they have studied and understood the principle of success. So once they apply it, it works. They don't need to pray for it, or someone pray for them. You can also apply the same principle. It will work for you because it is a universal law; it works for anyone who practice it, irrespective of where you come from.

Op, just go to any university closer to you, and ask for psychology department. When you get there, tell the receptionist or secretary, that you want to see a clinical psychologist.
Let's start from here first. Please treat it as important.

What you need right now, is to understand that you're suffering from a psychological illness. Once in a while, people get depressed, and also come out of it, with help of a professional. So yours is not different. It will be over soon. Just do the needful.
Thanks goodness, you recognize it on time.
I will love to hear from you.

[quote author=Kobojunkie post=110346106]1. This is all about mental discipline and the only one that can help mentally discipline a grown man at this man is the man himself.

Mental discipline
I do not know if you have heard about " operant and classical conditioning" before. These concepts explain how learning and habits are formed.
When a healthy man exposes himself to a naked woman(unconditioned stimulus), it will naturally elicits a certain reaction or response (unconditioned response). This response is a reflex action, it does not require thinking to occur. In other words, you didn't make it happen, it happened on it own. It is like touching a hot pot, you don't think before you remove your hand, but rather, you remove your hand before you think. This is a survival instinct build into your nervous system to help you live long enough to produce offspring.
The same thing happen to a healthy man when he sees a naked woman, the natural tendency is to react without thinking (erection), but the decision do it or not, is where discipline comes in. You don't decide to have an erection, under normal circumstances, it occur on it own, because the process is automatic (reflex action). So, it is not a choice to have an erection, but it is a choice to either do it (after having an erection) or not. This where discipline comes in.

Another point is about whether Op is mentally stable or not.
Op is very ok, there is nothing wrong with him, mentally. If he did not have an erection, at the sight of such a stimulus, I would rather say there is something wrong with him, sexually.

The concept of discipline.
Deducing from so many comments here, it will be safe to say that, discipline is a misunderstood concept here.
Discipline implies individual's ability to delay immediate gratification in order to achieve a particular goal, objective or purpose. When ones gives in to a particular desire or craving, we would say that, that person lack discipline. But in this case, the Op did not give in, but rather, ask for advice. This is a pure incident of self discipline!

Subliminal messages and their effect on mental/cognitive processes.

What are subliminal messages?
These are messages we exposes ourselves to on daily bases without being aware of them. These messages are stored in our subconscious level of our minds. They have a direct influence on the quality of decisions we make daily. For example, studies have shown that guys who live in a compound with 3 to 4 girls, who constantly seduce them, tend to have high frequent sex urges, compare to their counterparts in a compound with no girls. This so because, the seductive messages keep building until they interfer with your thinking process.
That's why they say "guide your heart (mind) with due diligence, for out of it are the issues of life". You don't subject yourself to all manners of junks messages and then exercise discipline. It doesn't work that way. Discipline has a limit. If it is push too far, it will definitely be overwhelmed.
They say "flee from fornication", not discipline.

Op, what you're going through is normal. The response you're experiencing is completely biological in nature, remember, you have not met her before. She, being your cousin's sister, does not in any way, stop from being a woman she is. The problem here is that, there is no conditioning between you two that establish the fact that you guys are sisters, as such, there is a clear prediction that if you have opportunity, you will make love to her.
Based on the above submission, I will suggest you help her find a place to stay. Even if she changes the way she dresses from now on, it will not still change anything, because you have been conditioned already. Until you will not rest. So, to be on the safe side, find a place for her as quickly as possible.
This does not require discipline, it require removing or staying away from the source of the stimulus. If you keep staying, you will do it one day.

ozoono:
My few years as a doctor. I never read that madness is transmitted. Check well maybe they are on hard drugs. Due to mother death. Shalom!!

You have never heard of schizophrenia before?

Sorry that your family is going through this.
Like you have rightly identify, your brother is suffering from schizophrenia; it is a mental disorder characterized by alteration in perceptions, emotions, thought, or consciousness.
Although schizophrenia runs in families, the etiology of the disorder is complex and not well understood. It has been established that genetics play a role in the development of schizophrenia. If one twin develops schizophrenia, the likelihood of the other also succumbing is almost 50 percent if the twins are identical, but only 14 percent if the twins are fraternal.
If one parent has schizophrenia, the risk of the child developing the disease is 13 percent. If, however, both parents have schizophrenia, the risk jumps to almost 50 percent.
So, your problem is not spiritual one, but rather psychological.
Genetics does not fully account for the onset and severity of schizophrenia, there must be other factors at work. The rate of schizophrenia tends to be similar across cultures, suggesting that cultural influences play relatively minor role. However, being born or raised in an urban area approximately doubles the risk of developing schizophrenia later in Life. Some psychologists have theorized that urban environments are more stressful and that the increased stress can trigger the onset of the disorder. You can deduce this from the case of your mum when she was pregnant, and that of your brother while he studying. The stress level, like I've said before, can trigger the onset of the disorder.
The reason why I am taking time to write all this is to make you see that it is not a spiritual problem. Now that it's early, take your brother to a clinical psychologist, allow them to do the needful and your brother's condition will be managed properly.
Mental issues are mostly perceived to be spiritual problems in this part of the world, because mental health awareness has not been created. So, some pastors, prophets and what have you, thrive on this ignorant and exploit innocent people, but the problem remains the same.
Therefore, please, do not be a victim.

Your problem has nothing to do with you being an introvert, it's more of you not knowing Who you are.
To start with, I'm an introvert and I love it to the core. Why? Because I know me so much that I can't help, but fall in love with myself.
You're not an introvert for no reason. You were born with a definite purpose and everything about you is a clue to understanding that purpose. The problem is that you have been trying to be like others that you forgot Who you are; this is known as personality crisis.
l will suggest that you start learning about you.
Try to know more about yourself by reading books that deals more on human nature.
Books like mastery by Robert Grene, the laws of human nature, by the same author.
In conclusion, introvert is an asset to those who can use it. In your case, you have it, but you don't know how to use it. just learn it.
I wish you the best in your journey.
DISCOVER YOURSELF!

what you're seeing is exactly what it is. Stop imagining that she would change Learn to see things as they are, not as you wish to see them.