₦airaland Forum

*12 WAYS ON HOW TO STREGETHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP*

1. Do not overlook those little things that make yourspouse
smile.

2. Tell your lover that you truly love him or her, not because it’s a
usual word or you want to use him or her, but because you
seriously mean and feel it.

3. Buy for him/her a gift even when she doesn't expect it
from you. No matter its not expensive, it will mean alot

4. Let your lover feel appreciated for all his or her effort.

5. Ask your lover to tell you things you can do to improveand better the relationship.

6. Money and Sex is not everything; make him/her feel your presence by sparing time for them.

7. Be faithful and don’t cheat on your lover.

8. Always have a heart to heart talk with your lover. Befree and
open

9. Do not make your lover do things against his or her wish

10. Be patient and understanding him or her

11. Always admit when you are in wrong.

12. Don’t bring the bad friends to your relationship, they will spread forged rumors; giveyou bad advice which will lead to a break up.

can i use etisalat bis on my blackberry tour 9630 sprint cos d customer care guy said odawise, nd ma fone is not branded, den secondly my sim is on double your recharge, how do i opt out?

As for me nothing is real about d NSE. †ђξ only tin dat is real is its existence. Lyk sm1 said earlier it is anoda gamble house, aπϑ 1 fact about gamble is dat d peson/owner makes a 1000 times more dan d players in it. D big guns wich includes d president of d NSE; alhaji aliko dangote aπϑ his cohorts, most of d major big companies are d beneficiaries/ profit makers, dey make a hell lotta money nd dey av structured d NSE 2 suit demselves, seriously as long as Dangote remains president of d NSE his fortunes will forever increase. aπϑ he knows d role d NSE plays in his wealth, dat was y he fought 4 d presidency by going all d way 2 court, 2 reclaim d position after he had bin earlier removed. Another big gun aπϑ sm1 very respected is d owner of falcons ltd, can't remember his name.

As 4 d masses, aπϑ most ignorant Nigerians d market is not real, its jst deceit, dey make u tink u A̶̲̥̅rε̲̣̣̣̥ making profit @ sm point aπϑ b4 u can say jack, all ur investments dissapears jst lyk dat. U A̶̲̥̅rε̲̣̣̣̥ d looser aπϑ dey make profits. Even with a good stockbroker its almost d same tin aπϑ don't be surprised majority of d stockbrokers, dnt understand d market only few wu knows aπϑ plays d game

In conclusion, I'll neva advise any1 2 invest in d NSE, I'll rada direct d peson 2 real estates, xcept if u av large capital with a very resourceful stock broker or if u ar investing 4 d long term purpose. As a mata of fact d NSE is not real!

Lmao! Rooneyboi wetin hapun? I tink sey U̶̲̥̅̊ b im fan aπϑ frend as im don take man.united deceive u.
Seriously, dat boi needs 2 get a lyf!

Guy,
u no dey shame? dem carry ur yeye pix show d world au immature and idle
u are and u still get mouth dey tlk sey u don turn celeb. indeed, u are
a celeb but nah to all dos village gals nd pepper sellers wey no 1
leave, nd seriously with all dos comments on ur foolishness nd stupidty,
i do not xpect u to come hia nd start saying anoda trash.

Anywae no be ur fault, u be sm1 wey no dey think, nd if u think because ur
post don dey frontpage u don turn star, na lie! infact ogugua jst wan
finish ur already miserable life and make u a scape goat, na y she carry
am go f.p. walahi u b fool wit no sense of humour, pple suppose dey
mourn 4 u, cos u don go gaga, am very sure sey no b smtin wey dey
ordinary, dem dey follow u 4rm ur village, u beta go 4 deliverance. smh!

since u av d time 2 post all diz ur godforbidden pix hia, lemme deal with u

first of all u b premature, ma dog hans pass u. D gals hia jst dey deceive u, nd u dey happy.

As regards sum gals u've dated no one leave u, u're ryt cos na gals wey dey sell pepper nd village gals u dey date.

Am very sure, if dem organize Mr nairaland competition, wit all fiz ur pics na first u go carry 4rm behind.

u jst dey advertise urself 4 hia, desperate searcher, mumu.

lovely write up, am hearing nd learnin sum new tins, mods, front page pls!!!

modskiller: ;DOP, honestly, u r funny to d bone.
And sincerely, u must be sick in the brain......

lol

I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

----WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED ALONG THE WAY ?----- —

12 SHOCKING FACTS
ABOUT NIGERIA

1. Nigeria is home to seven
percent (7%) of the total
languages spoken on earth.
Taraba state alone has
more languages than 30
African countries. The importance of this fact is
appreciated when one
understands that language
is d “soul of culture” (as
Ngugi wa Thiongo
famously said). It is language that births the
proverbs, riddles, stories
and other aspects of
culture that give us
identity. UNESCO puts
forward that the world’s languages represents an
extraordinary wealth of
creativity. Linguistic
diversity correlates with
cultural diversity. This
means Nigeria can look inwards and drive itself to
become the greatest hub
for cultural tourism on
earth, and consequently
empower its citizens
tremendously in the process.

2.The Walls of Benin
(800-1400AD), in present
day Edo State, are the
longest ancient earthworks
in the world, and probably
the largest man-made structure on earth. They
enclose 6500 square
kilometers of community
lands that connected about
500 communities. At over
16000km long, it was thought to be twice the
length of the Great Wall of
China, until it was
announced in 2012 (after
five years of meticulous
measurement by Chinese surveyors) that the Great
Wall is about 21,000km
long.

3. The Yoruba tribe has the
highest rate of twin births
in the world. Igbo-Ora, a
little town in Oyo state, has
been nicknamed Twin
capital of the World because of its unusually
high rate of twins that is
put as high as 158 twins
per 1000 births. In a video
I watched last year on
YouTube presented by Titi (a white lady who speaks
Yoruba), and which was
centred on twin births in
Igbo-Ora, one of the locals
boasted that every family
in the town has at least one twin!

4. Sarki Muhammad Kanta
The Great of Kebbi, was the
only ruler who resisted
control by Songhai, West
Africa’s greatest empire at
that time. He founded and ruled the Hausa city-state
of Kebbi around 1600 A.D
and built Surame its capital,
a planned city which was
almost impossible to
penetrate during war. In fact UNESCO describes
Surame as “one of the
wonders of human history,
creativity and ingenuity”,
and probably the most
massive stone-walled constructions in West
Africa. He is listed in Robin
Walker’s 50 Greatest
Africans.

5. Africa’s oldest known
boat is The Dufuna canoe
which was discovered in
Dufuna village, Yobe state,
by a Fulani Herdsman in
May 1987, while he dug a well. Various radio-carbon
tests conducted in
laboratories of reputable
universities in Europe and
America indicate that the
canoe is over 8,000 years old, thus making it the
oldest in Africa and 3rd
oldest in the world. The
discovery of the canoe has
completely changed
accepted theories of the history and sophistication
of marine technology in
Africa.

6. Sungbo’s Eredo, a 160
km rampart equipped with
guard houses and moats, is
reputed to be the largest
single pre-colonial
monument (or ancient fortification if you like) in
Africa. It is located in
present-day Ijebu-Ode,
Ogun State and when it
was built a millennium
ago, it required more earth to be moved during
construction than that used
for building the Great
Pyramid of Giza (one of the
Seven Wonders of The
Ancient World). The most astonishing thing is that
Sungbo’s Eredo was the
biggest city in the world
(bigger than Rome and
Cairo) during the Middle
Ages when it was built!

7. Sarki Abdullah Burja of
Kano (ruled 1438-1452
AD), the 18th ruler of
Ancient Kano, created the
first Golden Age in
Northern Nigeria and ushered in a period of
great prosperity. During his
reign, Hausa became the
biggest indigenous
language spoken in Africa
after Swahili. He is on the list of 50 Greatest Africans in Robin
Walker’s wonderful book,
“When We Ruled”.

8. The Jos Plateau
Indigobird, a small reddish-
brown bird, is found
nowhere else on the planet
but Plateau state, Nigeria.

9. The Anambra waxbill, a
small bird of many
beautiful colours, is found
only in Southern Nigeria
and nowhere else on earth.

10. The Niger Delta (which
is the second largest delta
on the planet), has the
highest concentration of
monotypic fish families in
the world, and is also home to sixty percent
of Nigeria’s mangrove
forests. You should know
too that Nigeria’s
mangrove forests are the
largest in Africa and third largest on earth.

11. According to the World
Resources Institute, Nigeria
is home to 4,715 different
types of plant species, and
over 550 species of
breeding birds and mammals, making it one of
the most ecologically
vibrant places of the
planet.

12. Ile-Ife, in present day
Osun State, was paved as
early as 1000AD, with
decorations that originated
from Ancient America
suggesting there might have been contact
between the Yorubas and
the Ancient Americans half
a millenium before
Columbus ‘discovered’
America.

No b 4 naija, naija babes no dey cry...

Is it jst me, which one is bro ola naw, ola nah ola, wen bro come bcom title.

As regards d topic, only God knows those that worship him, u will b surprised on d last day, wen u see dis so called gods of men aka mogs dazed by God. anywae, bible says judge not so lemme kip ma mouth shut

front page, pls!

me sef go feature seun; yaba right tins. watch out!!!

To be more optimistic in your daily life, try these six strategies.

1. Be on the lookout for negative thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking your life is terrible, stop the thought in its track.

2. Put things in perspective. Remember, everyone’s life is full of sorrows and joys.

3. Try to find the good in bad situations. If you’ve suffered a setback at work, for example, look at what the situation tells you about yourself and learn from it. But don’t dwell on it.

4. Learn from your mistakes. Failure is one of the greatest learning tools, but many people let failure defeat them. Learn and try again.

5. Even if you’re feeling down, act as if your mood is good. Smile at others. Laugh. After a while, you may find that your mood really does improve.

6. Be grateful. Gratitude can help you focus on what’s right in your life.

Pay attention to how your view of life may be bringing you down. Whit practice, you’ll be able to replace your negative thoughts with more positive ones.

This One Dey Jooor !!!!!!
After sleeping wit Ur GF, d rich dude bought her a car.
Don't get angry, dat will mk U an enemy of progress.
Jst draw a timetable for both of U.

U be 35yr old first class graduate without job and u dey
follow Lil'Wayne sing 'I Ain't Got no worries' ... Ur life
is on SOS.

Mumu girl said: "I dated him for GOOD 10 years and he
broke my heart" fool, what's GOOD in the years?

I overheard a girl talking to her BF, initially I thought
she was talking to God, cos the things she asked for only
God can provide dem.

Ladies, the only man you are allowed to chase, I repeat
CHASE shamelessly is the man that stole your purse Why take
Marriage counselling from a Single? That's
worse than Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles & Cobhams
driving lessons.

I'm sure your mother did not give you breast scattered
with tattoos, stretch marks, and Eczema... Pls allow your
children enjoy same.

Nollywood has influenced us too much thz days. I
murder Cockroaches by covering their face with a pillow
and pressing hard I owe my life to Tonto Dike. I was in Coma for 3wks
when d nurse played her song on her fone. I had to
stand up... to remove her battery Nollywood please na!☹ How can a ghost fall down
while chasing someone?

At 23, Ur boobs ve already observed eternal rest & Full
time sleeping mode. Yet U are forming "hard to get"
Aunty, even d devil is weeping 4U

Our Igbo brothers in China are involved if Ur BB has TV,
MicroWave, Torch, Nail cutter,Toothbru sh, Lighter and
Food flask in it

"She's making me bark like a Bingo... she got me
dancing Alingo" ...I still don't understand why Mary
Slessor stopped d Killing of Twins Back then in Primary school, I used to think that song
was "I have seen, seen the DANFO of satan" *sighs* That was how my neighbour named her triplet Faith,
Faithful & Faithfulness... who did those innocent
children offend??☹

Opportunity knocks but once, if you hear a second
knock, bros check well, Na Jehovah witness.

Now dat SEX is so cheap & rampant, decent girls hav
bcom DIAMONDS, Clean men are endangered species,
while LOVE is gradually becoming a MYTH Some ppl will come to visit U, and forget to take their
Odour with them when leaving. Their odour becomes Ur
permanent room mate.☹

So because Ur picture no fine, U dey claim say "Beauty
is from within" Y U NO take X- ray do Ur Profile
picture?

Going for an interview at a bank....dresses like Cabo
Snoop. *sighs* No wonder ur parents didnt use U for
Blood money

Ur partner buys U toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, &
chewing stick for Xmas; & U still don't get d msg. Ur
stupidity don enter Google map Even those that have heads like cabin biscuit be keeping
Mo' Hawks too. *sighs*

At 30, U R stil in ur parents' house, fightin ur siblings
ova who gets d head of fish. Is d witch in ur village
fanning herself wit ur pic?

Na so my Ibadan girl-friend tell me sey she make pizza
for me......I reach house see agege bread with stew and
fish inside. *smh*

If not for anything, abeg still Thank God sey Mosquito
no dey fit transmit HIV. Choi! E for bloody shaa Hope Una enjoy am !!!!!

Just modified my post to add this one, very funny!

A man entered a mosque carrying a brand new smooth machette and asked"Who is a muslim here?"
The whole mosque went as silent as a grave yard.
The man asked again,"How can a full mosque have no muslim?". No one replied.
The man then grabs the nearby young man and goes out with him and tells him,"son come help me slaughter my goat for I don't know how to do it".
After the young man had slaughtered the goat, he tells the man that he doesn't know how to skin it and that the man would have to go back to the mosque and get someone else to help him on that.
The man returns to the mosque with a machete dripping with blood.
When the Imam saw this, he immediately shouts"Praise the Looooooooord!!!!!!! The
whole mosque responds,"halleluyaaaah!!!!!!"

How time flies!!!

Things changes, pple changes, conditions, weather,
situations all changes. Someone said
"change is d most constant thing on Earth".
But memories last forever, they are jst dia.

Going down memory lane, from what we were
tot in our primary school days, we discovered that;
Obi is no longer a boy, He is now married.

Ada is now a woman.
(infact she has four kids)

Edet no longer lives in calabar.
He is now in FCT.

Agbo dey hustle for Canada now,
he is no longer in the town of lagoon.

Eze no longer goes to school,
he is now a graduate.

Oliver twist don grow, but sadly
He is in jail.

Mr salami is no longer a farmer,
he is a member of the house of reps.

He doesn't live in sapele anymore,
but in maitama abj.

Simbi is no longer a village Girl,
Infact she is now a RUNS girl in
BENIN.

Ali no longer plays football,
He is now a manager....

Pls, don't derail this thread its jst 4 fun,
You can add ur's..

Let's kip it rolling!

As 4 my girl, she b first inland bank

How time flies!!!

Things changes, pple changes, conditions, weather,
situations all changes. Someone said
"change is d most constant thing on Earth".
But memories last forever, they are jst dia.

Going down memory lane, from what we were
tot in our primary school days, we discovered that;
Obi is no longer a boy, He is now married.

Ada is now a woman.
(infact she has four kids)

Edet no longer lives in calabar.
He is now in FCT.

Agbo dey hustle for Canada now,
he is no longer in the town of lagoon.

Eze no longer goes to school,
he is now a graduate.

Oliver twist don grow, but sadly
He is in jail.

Mr salami is no longer a farmer,
he is a member of the house of reps.

He doesn't live in sapele anymore,
but in maitama abj.

Simbi is no longer a village Girl,
Infact she is now a RUNS girl in
BENIN.

Ali no longer plays football,
He is now a manager....

Pls, don't derail this thread its jst 4 fun,
You can add ur's..

Let's kip it rolling!

If Ladies Were Banks:
The Tall Slim Ones Are Called
SKYE BANK.

The Robust And Spacious Ones-
OCEANIC/ECOBANK.

The Ones That Move From One
Relationship To Another–
INTERCONTINENTAL BANK.

The Silent But Dangerous Ones Are
FIRST INLAND BANK.

Those Who Are Not Cute Yet They
Love Being Heard Are
BANK PHB.

Those Who Stick To One Man Are
FIDELITY BANK.

Those Who Seems Caring Yet Debit
You Massively For Every Affection
Are UBA.

Those That Go To Any Extent To
Make You Sad Are
ZENITH BANK.

Those Who Are Old Yet They Don’t
Realize They Are No More In Vogue
Are UNION BANK.

The Brief And Summarized Ones
Are MICRO FINANCE.
The Huge Ones That stand
Gidigba For Ground Are
FIRSTBANK.

The Beautiful, Reserved And
Homely Ones Are
DIAMOND BANK.

The Ones That Must Spend Their
Annual Vacation Abroad Even
When The Husband Is Broke Are
GTB BANK.

So Ladies, which Bank Are You?
-Guys, ​​ђξяξ do your woman belong?
As 4 d single's Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ A̶̲̥̅rε̲̣̣̣̥ not left out, which bank will Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ lyk your woman τ̅☺ belong?

@ ufoma tar, mercy looks better, radiant and glowing

For dos asking bout game of thrones, lemme jst hint u; it is d best seasonal film ever with a rating of 9:4/10 more dan d walking dead- 8.8, 24hr- 8.4 infact more dan any season film u've ever watched, if u diasgree jst goggle must watch tvseries or tvseries wif highest ratings, it is also d tvseries with d most main cast/characters dats y episode 1 and 2 of season may b boring 2 sum, buh dats jst d intro, jst take your time, am very sure u'll lyk it.
it centers on betrayal, hatred, love, revenge... and from d title its all about games, with 7 kingdoms nd jst 1 king. My favourite characters include; tyrion lannister, arya stark, braun stark, khaleesi- moda of dragons jst 2 mention but a few. It is a must watch!!!

D finale was not as xpected, and u've all shared ma tots, its jst lyk d season 1 finale, when dey discovered d ICT (not so sure). Compared to d season 2 finale when dey were outran by walkers and we were all left in suspense, what nxt, is andrea dead or alive?

guess season 4 will start with a new era and more characters should be included, wasn't xpecting dem to stay dat long @ d prison nd majority of season3 was btw d guv/ woodbury and d prison/ ricks group. Less walkers compared to season 1 and 2, less action, much talk, negotiations, and much of rick's psyco wateva....lyk montelik said d beginning was good but d latter half is..... since we'll be having a new director 4 d season 4 am looking 4ward to a action packed and suspense filled episode, nd as 4 carl; dnt knw wat dat boy is turning into, wateva it is...., am impressed.

Subject: The Wife

About Wife

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
~By Lee Majors

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
~By Al Gore

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~BySocrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
~By Mike Tyson

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
~By George Clooney

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~By Bill Clinton

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
~By George W. Bush

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
~By Rudy Giuliani

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
~By Michael Jordan

"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children! ~By Donald Trump

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
~By Shaquille O’Neal

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
~By Kobe Bryant

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
By David Hasselhoff

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
~By Alec Baldwin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~By Barack Obama

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
~ByTommy Lee

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
~By Brad Pitt

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
~ ByJimmy Kimmel

“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”
~By David Letterman

“First there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffe r..ing!
~By Jay Leno

What do you think? Share your opinions/tots......

Subject: The Wife

About Wife

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
~By Lee Majors

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
~By Al Gore

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~BySocrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
~By Mike Tyson

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
~By George Clooney

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~By Bill Clinton

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
~By George W. Bush

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
~By Rudy Giuliani

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
~By Michael Jordan

"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children! ~By Donald Trump

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
~By Shaquille O’Neal

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
~By Kobe Bryant

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
By David Hasselhoff

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
~By Alec Baldwin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~By Barack Obama

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
~ByTommy Lee

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
~By Brad Pitt

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
~ ByJimmy Kimmel

“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”
~By David Letterman

“First there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffe r..ing!
~By Jay Leno

What do you think, also share ur opinions/tots....